This is a post that I'm writing, assuming that I'm already living a successful path. I believe that momentum builds on a person's character and that history of doing something is very important. I'm a little different than the average person because I believe that you can go back to something that you failed at later in life, if you realize that it will really give you fulfillment and just lacked some understanding about it.
There are some things I can't really reveal just to protect where I'm being selfish, so yeah, I guess I'll reveal what it is. I had these feelings of getting into fights, and I wonder if I would have won and think that I would have actually- I was tempted to get into those fights but held my ground and left with a happy feeling still, so I guess I try to be peaceful even while feeling like getting into a violent match where I would hold the guy on the ground and tell him to say "Mercy" and then apply pressure to the point that he would want to cry from not being able to breathe and then I would have to let go.
Despite this self-righteous feeling of winning a decisive fight, I seriously wonder that since I wasn't caught in the act of doing anything bad like forcing a girl to get drunk that she gets all her admirers to stand up for her haha [I watched a funny drama for a little bit] that there was really no substance for those guys (Chris Kuch and Jarred Daniel Taing of Hope of God Church) who were acting like jerks with me. Since they were prolonging the conflict through their anger, if I had been physical with them then they would have looked extremely bad- this is what I should have done and then moved on with my life. I just wasn't ready to do these kind of things because everything didn't seem to be in place back then. I'm ready to put everything in place and move on in about another 2-3 three years haha or maybe five years (I say this so that they won't realize or predict when I will be there). The guys are going to be scared with themselves and will see that their honest feelings are flawed; they're just going to be like a walking vegetable with me haha which means they won't create conflict with me as they did in the past by saying I did something wrong. I'm just going to focus on working out and building wealth and possibly settling down with the most beautiful wife haha.
So it's time for me to put aside this current past and realize that I'm bigger than it. The worst outcome to it is only that I got a weird restraining order from a girl who possibly liked me and that I was never into her anyway; I also didn't finish the physical act I had in mind of doing with those guys who created conflict with me by saying I did something wrong. I'm going to proceed with succeeding and then maybe I'll go back to the church after I'm set up so that I can leave officially while making a scene out of it with the weird boys (going to be somewhere around 30; they are physically normal so I have knowledge of that and they can do some intense physical workout if you force it upon them for a reasonable amount of time- they also can't fight or risk looking bad and are going to look bad anyway so they are at a wit's end) who created conflict with me haha in front of the few members who go to that church. It's only a few and not like a lot of people anyway. The building is pretty cozy so it gives that feeling that one person is taking up a lot of space. Gee, they are going to waste the time of police officers because I'll be long gone by then and they'll be wasting time taking me to court because I'll be using my full honesty and they'll just have opinions which won't counteract that well with facts from being absolutely honest to both sides to the best of my ability. Maybe those guys who created conflict with me will be gone for good from that church and so I won't have to worry about leaving the church permanently even though I have a spiritual direction already that I want to partake of. It doesn't matter what direction it goes but making a scene would be such a fun spectacle with those guys who thought they knew it all. I can do it with some class.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
