Finally Caught Up For The Year

Well this is interesting because now I get to really enjoy the effects of not really having to write on this blog with massive amounts of text at one time. Even though last month was where I benefitted from my writing a lot, I actually had enough good stuff for some readers to enjoy it so yeah, I could sure use a break while applying this whole one post a day gig.

I'm noticing that sometimes readers don't always like looking at my current post but might enjoy reading some posts that have technically turned into like a hit because it's like off-the-scale comparison compared to how much attention I receive with the majority of my posts. It would be nice to deliver like that all the time, but unfortunately I can't so I can't have this writing career right now because I will put many people to sleep because of my writing and turn them possibly lazy from buying my necessary articles.

That's what you call life- being called a money-oriented person which I sort of am because I see cash as contributing to nice organizations. See my excuse for making money and how it sounds really good? Well then I could care less if I lost a million dollars after making a million dollars because all I have to do then is repeat the process over again if it was not done by fortuitous planning. I guess it would be nice to have time to spend valuable time on the important things in life like a loving spouse and socializing with good people.

Working hard to enjoy some very good stuff isn't really a bad trade off overall. I would personally like to minimize working hard on banal things like doing the same paperwork over again and talking to the same old and intractable stingy clients who won't let you get away with slip ups. Along with customers who are always looking for a cheaper alternative and sometimes don't care about shedding money out of their pockets, boy things get old. When you put lots of money into something and nobody still cares about it while it places a strain on your life, man, those are some really hard times.

It's just time to work hard and let that be a major factor in how I want to deliver because even though I can put a lot of effort, I still need to put in more time to become awesome at something. I think reading books are a form of cheating ethically because it really gives accounts and details that can speed up a learning process. When reading becomes effortless and done at the right age, boy, possibilities could almost be endless.  

Height Might Not Be A Factor

I'm writing this because I've seen some discouraging posts on how some guys think that women only like taller guys than them. Even though there are women who are like that and will even admit to it, I think it still doesn't really matter because of the population being so large in the world with about 6 billion people. What I really think works for a guy is having a nice personality that is compatible to the female he's going to eventually marry. If the female cares about the appearance in the guy, the guy can always do things to make himself presentable like shave and conduct personal hygiene. If the female cares about the man providing for her, then the man can always earn income and share it with her.

All of these things don't really factor in how tall a man is in eventually obtaining a spouse. I'd say that a good looking man would probably account for way less than compatibility in a loving relationship. From thinking about all this stuff, I don't think I really need to feel sad about never finding the right woman from being short. If a loving wife would bring me so much fulfillment in my life and pleasure in loving her too, then I could care less how much shorter or taller I am compared to her as long as I could take good care of her. It would bring me comfort in knowing that even though I can't be that athletic or reach that football like a tall wide receiver can, I can still chill and be pretty down to earth with a good-looking wife and some kids to look after.

Trying Not To Be Lazy

Something I tell myself when I'm about to approach an end to keep myself motivated and moving is that I still have more to go. Like if I have a week left before I reach a wonderful vacation, then I tell myself that I have a month left so that I won't get rugged in my work and keep myself pumped up. By the time the vacation rolls around, I'm sailing very smoothly my friends. Tell myself that I also a lot more to exercise when I'm about to end it also helps me to perform at my peak performance too.

I've noticed something very encouraging today. I have felt on some days but happens less often now about how I feel really short compared to others and a little let down because I can't look like others on the outside. I let that thought of what the opposition is feeling against me get to me sometimes- like I feel discouraged thinking how I would be rejected just for being really short. I have to tried to rationalize it by saying I'm taller than another guy so I esteem myself incorrigibly as better than him. It doesn't work very well because I'm below average height.

Now looking at it while wearing a different pair of spectacles, females of all different sizes and ethnicity have approached me and acknowledged me. That's plenty of females for me to pick the right wife for me, and if Tom Cruise manages a loving relationship with his taller and pretty wife then why couldn't I? I'm starting to see that even though there are some women who don't feel comfortable dating a smaller guy than them, it doesn't really pertain to me because I'm confident there's a beautiful young lady who would be attracted to me since I have had taller and smaller female friends all this time.

Working Hard At Something

What I've come to now realize is that my mom has ended up supporting me in some professional decisions I made. What she tells me in these rough economic times and lack of finding opportunity because I just plain sucked when I had the chance to move up the food chain is to just stick to something that works and be very diligent at it. It was really hard to want to leave home from my comfort zone in the beginning and to make this tough personal decision of leaving behind a lifestyle that I really enjoyed. However, there was something lacking in my personal fulfillment because I so badly wanted a good job that would pay well and I just couldn't muster enough resources to find it in time. Therefore, I left my very comfy hometown and came to a pretty rough part of town because the weather really sucks here. So far, it's boring but it's better for gaining some experience and earning more pay- that's what is really cool and I also get to develop my physical fitness level for free with some qualified trainers.

I have about a month of training and persisting at a high standard before I get back to my home state again. It's going to be more relaxing when I get back, but I see with the free time and the loads of cash I get a really good shot to use my time wisely and gain more resources along with possibly having time for a loving relationship with a beautiful and charming woman! Hey, it's not a bad deal with where I'm at and I might as well upgrade the status I currently have in this government work I was fortunate to get into.

Analyzing my time, there is an ample amount of free time that I'm getting and using it for taking only a shower or socializing while eating isn't too bad, Plus, this blogging sensation I'm under while averaging about 300 views a month doesn't take me that long to compose. Right now, I have 400 views this month. I'm noticing that last month was like a major peak of views I received which topped at about 560 views and now I'm experiencing an encore that goes above my average but is a smaller wave of visits.

Coming To Heart's Acceptance

I believe that there are a lot of gray areas in life that people in general would have to learn to deal with. What I mean is that, the consideration could be taken as good or bad depending on how the person feels about the issue. Therefore, we have so many personalities in this world today because of the different experiences and life-style choices we decide to make in our daily living. I, myself, have had to battle with these anxieties of not wanting to really offend anyone because during those times, I really longed for social acceptance with people. I was considered to be weird while in high school and through my early years in college. I even felt left out because I was like totally disregarded and then again, I seemed to also put on some good impressions towards some beautiful young females!

All of these issues that I've grown up with, I'm starting to learn to not fall in despair when things are just not going well for me. Along with trying to stay moral in things that count, I think it's reasonably fair to conclude that it's normal for a person to struggle with making end's meet. Having uncontrollable addictions is something that needs to be recognized by the people involved in it and they won't be helped until they accept the situation they are in and actually try. What has really worked for me all along has been to be comfortable on the inside with the usual stuff that goes on in my life and to be completely honest when I'm speaking to others.

Living With Less Sleep

I think successful people put in more time than an average person would at times. There are exceptions to this, so I can't really be exact about it. In a way, it would make sense to treat of spending time wisely as like an investment. Therefore, studying a discipline to gain knowledge of how to do something and then applying it from putting hours and hours into it would really equate to a successful student in a modest sense.

I'm now learning to get up really early in the morning and getting ready like I did today- I ended up waking up at around 4 in the morning which is probably very early for most people. I seem to be gaining this discipline where I could just charge up through deep sleep for about six hours and then wake up when I need to. It was hard in the beginning, but I guess through putting lots of effort into it, it's starting to pay off.

I'm also learning to not be so sluggish while tired, which is hard to accomplish but I'm actually starting to embrace the tired state I'm in and retain desire to complete an objective. I guess this is all a part of growing up with where I'm at now.

Pretty Cool

I guess this blog is one of those sites where it experienced some hits on other referring websites very indirectly. From just posting something up on here and making it actually flow, I'm getting some traffic. I guess it's cool that I already have my monthly average which is about 300 visits. I'm pretty much feeling honored at how I don't really need to be on here everyday, and how there will be someone still reading this website for a few days before it gets deserted again if I keep on leaving it alone.

I'm starting to feel a really comfortable level of security while writing now. It's one of those joys that I'm feeling while blogging about anything in particular. It does require a little discipline for me to write up on stuff though, so I guess it's pretty healthy for me to continue this going. It feels like I'm doing this a lot but it's pretty much what I need to do to achieve something that I desire. I'm not really fooling myself either because I intend on staying healthy and true to myself.

Now, I'm feeling a little sleepy and I guess it's okay. I actually enjoy this feeling of being exhausted for some reason because it presents a great challenge for me to continue pursuing after something. I just want to keep going until I really have to reason that I need some rest before I can have pursuit again the next morning.

Getting By

I guess I'm getting to a point of really understanding my own personal situations and just not really fretting over bad times anymore if they do happen. I might feel a little sad over them but it's something I'm learning to manage so I can still be a professional over something. I never thought that I would actually reach this personal level of contentment and stability from the heart but it finally happened!

 Wherever I'm at, I just feel pretty good about myself and even though I perform to my limits and don't get to where I'm going, I'm actually accepting it which is contrary to what I did in the past. Basically, I don't worry about preparing myself more now in the present so that I would have a better chance to be par with the average professional. Looks like I have to get going for a little bit right now.

Not Really Feeling It

I guess I'm only human, and it's one of those days right now where I really don't know what to do. All I'm really doing is just laundry at this point. Basically, I'm just trying my best to keep on persisting. There's really not much right now that I feel like typing because I'm like ready to go on and do something else. Oh well, even though I have these emotions it seems like it's great practice to still try to live the dream while typing stuff up on this blog.

Yesterday felt like an ugly day for me. However, everything seems to be going normal for me and I think it's only because I maintain this form of discipline that I'm comfortable with underneath my heart. I used to feel very nervous when I was in a situation like I was before and it didn't really have too many good results that I would have liked. I just kept trying to push forward even though I felt so tense or anxious about certain things that I didn't feel secure about. Nowadays, I'm just like calm as a soaring eagle.

It's only a matter of time now before I get where I'd like to go. The disappointments I felt with myself yesterday were pretty minor I guess. I felt sad and almost too disheartened because I saw how I was physically shorter than mostly everybody. I'm like well, I can't really do anything about it and still the people who matter the most to me are pretty friendly to me so I guess it doesn't matter so much. Another thing that I found out was that I left a deck of pretty expensive playing friends with a friend who I didn't intend on giving it too. He ended up taking those cards which were part of a game called Magic: The Gathering to a comic shop and selling it to them for some free Chinese delivery food! I informed my other friend about it and told him that I owed him some money or a new deck of playing cards and he told me not to worry about it. It was because he still had his Japanese cards which is what he really wanted.

Ready To Handle The Hard Stuff

I guess time can be anybody's enemy because everybody pretty much has a biological clock that will virtually, universally  expire. I guess this means that if a person really wants to get something done and takes quite a bit of effort then he or she might have to stay awake to get something done for another person.  I'm starting to not mind having this fast-paced work ethic now.

In a way, I have been acquiring useful skills and devising practical schemes to compensate a living. It's pretty basic which is to just be consistent at it, if you want to turn something into a career. I'm still sleepy as I type this post, but now I'm just feeling a little excited.

It feels like it's going to be a lot of fun to get to come back home and start some pursuits I have been longing to do all this time. I used to have a heart that would feel discouraged very easily and then I would not try so hard as I should have. I no longer have that barrier of letting a disappointment get to me at a personal level to disrupt my confidence. Therefore, I don't really require any therapeutic help from like a psychiatrist or someone else like some people told me to do- it's too easy to figure that one out; they were just too mad and couldn't think straight with me. 

Feeling Sleepy

I have noticed that during the times I'm actually sleepy- my eyes just want to close shut and I barely manage to keep them open while just trying to relax. It's pretty hard to make this happen. I just day-dreamed a little while I was being being pretty sleepy right now and still typing. I guess it's really easy to want to take naps on the weekends and just chill out. I'm probably not going to take a nap though because I want to stay awake.

It actually sort of feels good for me when I'm aware that I'm tired and place a personified image of myself. It makes me feel like  I'm on a different world. My eyes are like shut half way right now. I can barely see the letters I'm typing. Usually it lasts me for maybe at most about half an hour before I start being on the move again.

Habits Take Getting Used To

Nowadays, from having been on the go so often and kept occupied from playing around at the house, I'm noticing that the discipline I have gained can be very useful to my life now. I mean I feel those human emotions and elevated senses that make it so many meaningful in being alive every once in awhile too. However, from having discipline even while my mind and soul is just going all over the place, I'm capable of still getting the mission done!

I really appreciate a lot of things in life more from practicing discipline. It's something that just doesn't happen overnight and takes a lot of progression. I have come to accept where I'm at and how even while I am pushed over to the edge, I still can make good adjustments. Just giving it your all takes a lot of getting used to in order to form it into a habit.

It starts with smaller steps and then building up into becoming a work of art. I never knew that I could actually have it in me to be always continually consistent with the things I try to do. Instead of feeling discouraged about setbacks, I feel motivated to keep learning and pushing on to achieve what I have set out do now.

Before I Go Rest

I guess I have had some people e-mail me from viewing my blog and asking me to promote them. I don't know why- maybe, it was something random. I've only had two people ask me that in my five years from blogging and that's pretty horrible. Oh well, so I decided to disregard those e-mails- I think it was from some French people who were asking me. I guess those Europeans probably thought my blog could be well-worthy or something weird like that. What I really think is that I don't know and I can only guess- they probably just picked a random site and found my page and never visited this site again to be gone like the wind.

It's pretty funny with the incidents I've been through- it's really all about the perspective. Those dummies who I wrote about in the past probably had a very fixated mind and couldn't get out of something they didn't want to let go. It was like some concept they had in mind and couldn't even explain to me very cleanly. I guess anger makes some people do some stupid stuff every once in awhile.

Anyhow, I did play a very influential role in their lives to probably make them crash and burn. It wasn't really my intention in the beginning but after taking in so much of their nonsense I had to figuratively burn some rubber. This is actually quite fun to write like this- I can see how it's really dry humor and cheesy but it's just so funny.  I guess I'm really laughing inwardly about this stuff that I'm covering lately. It's just really healthy to do and makes the days go by better. I understand that bad people need to have their fun every once in awhile, and if they are not doing anything illegal in that moment of space and time then good for them! I've said a lot of stuff that just probably means air so it's like they just assume stuff because they are so mad- they lose track of themselves. I now see this in people and understand where they're coming from even though I might feel so angry and frustrated at certain people sometimes.

Getting Back From A Long Week

It's pretty interesting by going from being a weird introvert who was still liked by certain beautiful females and then going to being more honest in a very blunt way, I actually might be even more well-liked now by more people. I don't know, I just choose to be really honest from the bottom of my heart and try to profess a moral life based on this ancient text that I heavily rely on.  From actually being who I am and literally comfortable on the inside and outside, there's really nothing for me to hide. If I want to say something with an honest intent and can be very appropriate then I guess it's a good thing.

There's a personal private matter that I had which was in a form of a dream- let's just say that I had a very good time in my dream and when I translate it, I had to stand next to the female who I dreamed about and hung out with indifferently the next day. I think it implies a very masculine thought process that I think a good amount of people would know what I'm referring to. I'm doing this because I want to keep this post G-rated, and it's also pretty funny to write about something very nice and enjoyed later in life with a tasteful sense.

The female told me in a pretty serious manner that she liked me and that's why she was hanging out with me and another buddy who I was with. She's pretty cute and definitely is in shape. I'm just keeping it like professional in that we are just buddies right now.  She's really sweet too, and it's pretty cool that I'm getting to know more about her.

Interesting Visits

Looks like my writing has connected with very few people from around the world who probably are still learning English or something. Honestly, if I was bored and stumbled on a page like mine and read a few pages- I would be wanting to laugh a little too from what's there. Anyhow, looks like I had plenty of visits from Russia while the majority was from the United States.

Already, with me not really have done much- somehow the Internet managed to find its way to an audience that would read this blog and probably make something out of it. Therefore, it leaves me feeling like how that's really cool.

Going back along to Russia, somehow, I think there are some interested souls over there in getting to know me. The funny part is that I have heard about Russian Mailing Brides, and I'm just wondering if my writing portrays me in a certain way that would make me attractive to them. I'm just keeping it honest, and yes, I want to be a moral person. Just right now, I actually have some beautiful females on my Facebook list. I was like- they are just friends in the beginning and now I'm laughing at how I didn't notice they were really so pretty. I guess from having been gone so long, you sometimes miss out on what's really pretty. I'm really comfortable being friends with very pretty females and it's not because I'm attracted to only males. I guess now there's no reason for me to get so nervous about impressing them because they are technically friendly and beautiful women who are approachable and I've so happen to have been fortunate to meet at some point in my childhood to early adulthood.

I'm looking for some compatibility in a female, and I think the woman would already look gorgeous to me if I was already in love with her no matter what others think! I would think if the woman who I fell in love with ended up marrying me, then I would even think she would be the prettiest person on the face of the Earth and vote for her in an empty ballot in search of the world's pretty beauty queen. I wouldn't really be lying either to myself- I would be so truthful to myself and feel this way; even if she ages, I would still think she's better looking than anybody.

Overall, if a woman happens to have a physical existence about her that would make her compatible with me; then let's dig it! For some reason, I prefer friendship with most females even the really old ones who I've grown to love deeply for their sensibility and care of me like a child.

Something Not Part Of My Record

This is my last post before I get ready to take off. When I get back, I will have a little more left to finally catch up for the whole year. There are a few things about me that could be complicated but now I'm seriously having a good laugh about it. Along with how those incidents don't really affect me that much now because it doesn't show up on my record, I could pretty much create a small loophole to be extravagantly honest about myself. In other words, some people might feel turned off from applying T.M.I. (too much information) The ironic thing is that possibly some people like to read blogs where the writer starts saying stuff about his life very bluntly.

I have something that's not a part of my public record. It's like rubbing off sweat for me. Basically, I got this Chinese guy named Washington who roots for Washington teams like Washington Redskins and Washington Nationals working with me and then having a hard time being a happy camper. I think it was something from having a great deal of stress and not being satisfied with his life. The way he would cope with this would be trash talk behind people's backs. I'm not going into great detail because I forgot what he said most of the time, and he was like don't mention to the person that he does this.

Now, the person he was talking about once was a black lady who I worked with and I was pretty mad because I wanted to not let some personal things get in the way with cooperating well at work. She would talk to herself about how she wanted a tall and handsome black man in her life while working at her desk, which is pretty funny to remember.  She was tall and pretty vivacious, but that's not the point- I wasn't mad because I was attracted to her; I just didn't like Washington's attitude at that time. I ended up bagging on Washington on a similar blog like this. Therefore, it created some problems but I'm over it now. Washington attempted to mar my social reputation but because of the uniqueness of my birthright which is rare to come by these days, it really didn't do much. He placed a restraining order on me for retribution and the judge stated that I got to work with him at work while staying 0 yards away from him- that was the exact restraining order which was weird. Okay so Washington's restraining order didn't hurt me that much, just hurt my future trust in confiding in Washington. The restraining order is something I didn't even fight because I didn't care too much after that from being a dude. A dude placing one on a dude for retribution is pretty bad but it looks bad on him more than me, so it works out for me in the end. Also because I so didn't care to talk to him, the court order has expunged itself by default. That's how it works, give the loser who can't handle you and accuses you of the worst things which you are not a hard time and then after he asks for professional protection against you, give him the cold treatment.

Just Messing Around A Little

I feel pretty blessed to have a loyal friend who wants to go out of her way to do things for others. Her being a female and younger just makes it that much more special for me. Along with being pretty cute and fit, yeah, it's pretty cool that she greets me cheerfully which makes me laugh a little. She's a pretty cool friend, so yeah, it's great and hopefully I can meet more people like her. From what I hear from her, her family is really sweet and will do more than what she's capable of doing. I guess having a fulfilling family background like that and role-model parents would foster some beautiful people in this world.

 On the other hand, I don't want to make any really bad characterization judgements so I'll lay off of saying something about Annie Tran or Betty Lam. The same applies for some of those people at that Hope of God Church. I'll just let the implications arise on the surface and work against them, instead of me putting any work into it right now. Okay, I'm having a good chuckle about this right now.

Honestly, I think that Hope of God Church was really weird over the two years I attended there. I don't blame a lot of people who ended up leaving it. I guess the numbers turning into a majority leaving should pretty much say a lot about the effectiveness of the church under speculation. I remember running a club. The first day people showed up and I was like what the heck I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sweating my pants off. I'm like man, I'm so nervous and I'm so afraid- I don't know what the people are going to say about me. Afterwards, the whole year, nobody showed up to my club. Man, I was pretty bummed out but now I'm actually laughing about the incident; I wasted a lot of time on something people just weren't interested in. I sucked a whole lot and I thought it was because I was too short to be a leader. Man, I was bad. People start laughing now when I take up a leadership position because of the calmness I exhibit and how I don't really care about paying attention to the little things they are doing. I guess I'm pretty much practical, so I understand that with greater numbers, more help is required and I can't do it on my own.

One Hour To Kill

Basically, I'll be gone for about a week which is not really that big of a deal compared to the longer trek I have taken already. Something sincere up there wants to tell me to be safe. Ever since I've left home from having those aggravated emotions locked up, I'm starting to actually feel lightened up about coming back to visit now. I guess I really needed that space away from home by working at a far distance. My mom doesn't really call me so frequently anymore, and I'm guessing she doesn't really miss me and is probably happy to see me attempt to move on with my life.

All the built-up anger underneath me while being a boy is starting to find resolve with what I'm doing now. I'm actually stronger physically and mentally than I have ever been. It's a joy to be in the environment I'm currently in, and it's pretty fun at times. I am expecting to make the best opportunity out of what I have going right now. I am therefore I think.

Leading A Strong Life

What makes me want to tear up a little but not really cry like how a guy does it, is recalling the last part of the movie, Saving Private Ryan. The great captain tells Private Ryan to lead a good life as his final words while breaking out with a smile before passing away through his battle wounds. It was the respect the captain had for this unknown and low ranking soldier from fighting by his side and learning that his soldier had great determination and will to carry out an order and bring his battle buddies back home. (Man, that was a long sentence.)

I guess now I lost my train of thought for some time being but I see that's where I took it with the title of my post. How it relates to me is that I desire to live a full life and want to obtain it through being diligent and responsible now. It doesn't relate to any chore anymore, like how it was while growing up. Through aging and continuously making the same stupid mistakes over not managing my time properly, I now see how it's important to have some form of discipline. Furthermore, I still love to have fun but those moments are more heightened when I accomplish something great from being disciplined.

Despite my little sister's nasty pleas against me, I think I can work something out with her now. Basically she thinks it's weird for her relatives to get married and can't vision it happening. What a funny assessment from having some withdrawal periods while growing up. She's no longer little now and is considerably an adult and it's now to the point where her age is at a developed level that our age difference doesn't matter anymore. I'm getting at how I'm looking to get married to a pretty attractive woman who has a great personality. I mean what type of fully grown male wouldn't really want it. I've had to deal with these feelings of inferiority from being physically shorter than most guys, but now that I think of it, if I can make a taller woman feel comfortable about herself and with her around me then it doesn't really matter who I end up being with if I don't mind either. I'm also attracted to women who are smaller than me too, so might as well widen the resources and find the right person for me.

I've been told that I'm pretty handsome. My sister even told me that I'm weird looking but that's probably because she was thinking how she can't vision me being with someone in some degree because I would attract someone. She would stay quiet when I repeatedly badgered her about the same question "Do you think I'm handsome?" I was just messing around with her a little but I would always laugh so hard when I tried to tell her that I think she's pretty because it felt like I was lying to her. It probably didn't affect my sister that much who simply said during the time that I could be a very nice and very mean person sometimes.

Doing What Works

From all this time, what has really worked for me is to try to be funny while being fully honest about everything. It's actually pretty entertaining and helps me a lot with learning the ropes in life. I still have those emotional and negative reactions underneath me, and I'm sometimes tempted to give into it but now I choose to stay relaxed about it and not really mind about all the little things happening around me so that I wouldn't snap.

By sticking to what works, I'm pretty fortunate that when I'm a little off-guard I still to manage to stay on track. It's probably because I let it become a routine for me and might be something I could do mindlessly. The difference between a diligent person versus a lazy person probably is that the diligent person decided to take the initiative to make himself squared away and be consistent at it while the lazy person has the tendency to do it less often.

It's sometimes boring feeling like I'm hibernating in my chambers. It's like I want to break out of the cell and complete an exciting mission. I guess that's where partnering up with someone whose exactly right for me probably comes into play. Having companionship and getting into doing lots of fun activities is the life. It doesn't hurt to have someone decent to look at too every once in awhile. Betty Lam once told me that she felt she was convincingly not that good looking- it's probably because something in her life became like her Achilles' heel and overwhelmed her medically. I personally thought Betty was a pretty friendly and flirtatious person; even though she had some over-the-top remarks when she tried to lead discussions, I think she could be a likable person and look pretty good. That's just me trying to judge her social and physical appearance put together; her personality and upbringing put together in dealing with me might not really be compatible in a more bigger commitment like marriage- there's nothing wrong about this. I still want to claim that I love her as a friend.

In a humorous and slightly solemn way, it seems like Miss Betty Lam or now Mrs. Betty might have disappeared off the face of the Earth with me. Anyhow, she'll always have a warm place in my heart despite her conditional moments where she seemed to be a flamboyant and moody person. The memories will provide some valuable lessons and good moments to recall for me.

Cool Type of Honesty

Before I take off for the evening, I'm going to make one more contemplation about making honest comebacks. First off, it's actually really funny and no matter what the person does even in retribution, the person is still being hit pretty hard with a fact that he or she could try to redeem his or herself in. Honesty really works when dealing with conflict- just let it go. I'm sure there are some dirt bags who don't care about what their feelings are at the moment when they talk about killing others and go through a psychotic rage where they imagine punching another man in the kisser and knocking him down. At least they were attempting some conflict reconciliation by expressing their anger and that's probably how far it goes the majority of the time.

If they go overboard, then they go to prison and might even be imposed some severe consequences that would literally suck the living daylights out of them. Furthermore, more people who thought about doing the same gets to hear about it and then has to feel deterred. Economically speaking, nobody wants to die from doing a moment's rage where they know they are going to explode and be sent to a mental hospital.

One time, I wrote that to Betty Lam in that I didn't want to drive her to a mental clinic. That was probably the most honest statement of the whole e-mail I sent to her. She then later blocked me because I was probably driving her crazy or something because maybe she associated her moodiness with something against me. It wasn't really my intention but maybe she felt that she was wrong somewhere and by human nature, she attempted to cover it up. It makes sense that good people would want to be selfish sometimes because it's a reasonable principle that no one can't really be perfectly good if he or she has knowledge of evil. When a lady is dealing with a guy, there's always a way for a guy to make friends with the lady if he so desires it in his heart. I now have confidence in this because women do think differently than men do- it's like they are attracted to an emotional aura from how they were naturally raised.

However, I choose to practice a lifestyle of restraining myself from indulging in evil activities that would have severe consequences against my economic resources and private life. I also believe in this really ancient source that makes all these moral considerations- it's amazing how sitting there reading it could go in the ear and if I desire to do so in my heart, I pick up on it later and really get to apply something moral to the best of my ability.

Exploring Something Good

Sometimes being honest about something that you know you are going to be in trouble for is hard. I mean the way you word things in an honest manner can cause people to flip out! I never understood this for awhile, and my mom wasn't too much of help in helping me understand how people are. I pretty much had to find the answer through observations for myself which means that I had to be patient about it and let it come to me naturally.

Now, I don't feel anything when a person starts screaming at me. I just hold my ground and want to actually start laughing but I don't show it on my facial features- that's why it's easy for me to look indifferent because underneath I'm holding back my laughter and it feels good so the reinforcement causes me to not flinch. It's over the little things that people start getting so badgered about and try to take it out on you. That's why there's a popular term that some laymen love to use, who probably like it coarse. The other person who starts badgering probably learns to not care unless he looks like an idiot.

Actually what I really felt is "Man, I'm absorbing this coming to me." Secondly, I wanted to actually laugh with my eyes slightly raised in surprise. I was actually surprised that the tone of the loud, angry voice didn't really hurt my ears. I think it's because I'm used to speaking loud in my work environment just to interact with others; it's necessary to facilitate teamwork when the supervisor or another worker is like across the hallway and wants to address everybody at the same time. 

Wow, I honestly don't really care so much about getting in trouble over stupid and little things. That's what it really was. I guess failing over the big picture is going to be disappointing the most to me anyway so being yelled at is probably not going to make too much of a difference. I guess I'm an individual that absorbs people yelling at me- when I'm addressing peers, I just tell them they are overreacting more than me and then they fall for it and accuse it on me. I tell them next that I don't have to raise my voice anymore than they do and then the next day, they start laughing about it when I talk to them. They pretty much submit in defeat with me. It's just too easy and really funny because they are very ineffective in expressing a schism. Man, my schisms really made a point and I was pretty lucky in that I chose to be moral in those big moments where they were fearing for their life.

Just Living Life

I don't really know how to start to post. Right now I have one of those feelings where I feel like being tearful but I don't know what I should really be morose about. Just writing something on this blog has made me cheer up a little already as weird as it might seem. In the back of my head, I just feel like really anticipating something and that in life we go through periods where we are just standing around and waiting for a moment to happen where we'll be put into action. 

My nervous energy is like buried underneath my body, and I don't feel so offended over the little things anymore if I perceive it not going my way. I don't feel fearful about being projected as a highly rude person because I'm confident about what my intentions are. Just from talking and listening to a pretty cute friend today, she really wanted to hang out and asked if she could join me; hey, that's pretty cool. I don't know- she also said that I'm good looking and winked at me while laughing; yeah, that was pretty funny when she mentioned that to me.

I'm just remaining honest and direct in my interactions without feeling nervous about anything at all. It's like I have some freedom buried underneath my heart now and that I don't really have to hide some type of timid behavior. I do make moral considerations though because that's just who I want to be, and I believe that it's a good thing because of the faith I have chosen to grow in.

Ah Ha, Friday the 13th

I just noticed this right now because it was right under my nose. Yes, I'm not so high-speed like others are because the way I act about observing this is just a shrug on my shoulders and a very high degree look of indifference on my face. I mean superstitious people can be very active- just think of a burning finger withdrawing from a stove after accidentally touching it. These superstitious people utilize a very powerful emotion to be quite rapid in their movements- fear!

For a time being, I was dodging cracks and then all of a sudden I'm like the heck with it. It's like one of those bad cartoons that says "Avoid this sign" and then the cartoon character complies and then becomes smashed by something. I can think of many incidences like Wile Coyote chasing after Road Runner; now Warner Bros cartoons are classics and still enjoyed by me even though a black man created this animated series some uber-sensitive people think is racist.

Things don't always make sense but it really doesn't matter so who cares. The saying from guys from all walks of life seem to generalize that women think they are always right and have this type of attitude is something I had trouble accepting. I can now see it, just that it didn't seem like it because the way my little sister and Annie Tran and Betty Lam acted seemed really peculiar to me. It's like maybe it's because they were being moody at the time and that they probably were not aware of it while communicating with me. I know how women don't like to classified as going through a particular moment which I tried to be respectful of, but man in this instance I should have just gone with the key observances and then tweak the situation to my favor a little by just telling them the truth even if it hurt their feelings. It was so hard to be sensitive and tell the truth at the same time for me, but now I think I can tone it down pretty confidently now if I had to.

Writing Something Fast

I'm just basically typing something on here while really bored right now. I guess that's pretty much what it is, and I might just as well sound really boring with this blog. Man, I'm not feeling it right now but I'm just doing this so I can try to put something on this site again. I'm not really brainstorming anything right now because I have this huge headache right now and a lot of things going through my head.

Maybe the reason for feeling this way is because it's probably Friday night and I usually like to go lollygagging at around this time. Okay, I have about five minutes now. Actually I have to go right now. So see ya later, cyberspace!

Like An Investment

From the little amount of time I spend on here writing about anything, I'm actually seeing how it all adds up to a lot of text broken up into different sections. I'm just trying to be logical in a funny way; those moments when I'm actually doing that is so cool. I can see that people have their ugly sides and can still shut themselves off in a way where they're trying to hide it but can't to someone who has very crafty eyes. I pretty much am trying to create an analogy that writing in this blog is like investing in some treasurable stock. It takes very little amount of time to put in all the money a person made into a flawless stock and just see cash flow the next couple minutes.

In a way, this blog is like playing a flawless stock where the choice of currency is text. I just type on this keyboard from my MacBook and I get to see plenty of stock add up- in fact, there's a lot of text that's accumulated on here from the five years I've maintained this blog. It would be more of a surprise if I had very little on here and kept on claiming over the years that I write a lot. If I wrote only like one and then started writing then nobody would care what I'm saying today.

One Of Those Days

I guess today is one of those days where I feel pretty tired and stoic about stuff. Yeah, I was expecting some people to read my lame posts yesterday and I guess it's one of those days where I expect to have it easy, but then again I can't give in like that very easily so I have to be on my toes again and work hard. Working hard is just an activity for me and something that just takes a little getting used to. Inwardly, I guess I just like to be in a pretty cheerful mood and for the most part, I don't really care about the little things people do to annoy each other.

One of these days, instead of just rambling about stuff that I don't really know how to recall, I will be writing something that is actually pretty useful for myself and others. I had a hard time accepting how I was not that great as others because I just want to have this prideful feeling of being better than others and maintaining it. One guy I know has trouble with communicating in a rational manner because he knows he's pretty dumb and so likes to mess around in a way that makes him less attractive to approach for anything. He pretty much talked about some of the most funniest things in an unintended manner- like he was saying "It's all about the man" which probably means being masculine and then a few minutes later, he gets scolded by his mom and stays quiet for a little bit before yelling "it's all about the man" again.

His brother really hates the guy, and they have some arrangements in coexisting by respecting each other's personal belongings. It's so funny. I can tell about these things pretty bluntly because I have actually spent a considerable amount of time with them and even chilled for the whole night in their room. I even saw his sister come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel once, but she's like family too so it didn't really mean anything to me. My face was like stoic and underneath I wanted to sort of laugh and then yeah, looked like she didn't mind either.

Rising Up Early and Resting Late

The principle of rise early and sleep late is a billionaire concept followed by very rich man such as Bill Gates and Donald Trump. Obviously, these ultimate money-making gurus have something they are excited about daily that keeps them up and makes them start on their projects very early. I myself have had those effects of being sleepy from doing stuff in class but now I'm starting to get used to being up and waking up at any moment's notice. It feels pretty fulfilling to be up and get something done.

Maybe taking care of a baby would be a pain from hearing the munchkin cry all night long and having to do some routine check up every couple hour or so but I think it's a worthwhile thing. Keeping in mind I don't mind getting up anymore and can deal with the extreme sleepiness, I guess I'm doing fine. On top of this, I am also capable of paying attention to things in class now while extremely tired. I can also read too in this state. I feel tired most of the time, but the satisfaction is from knowing that I'm getting something done and everyday I'm getting better at now falling asleep and disciplining myself to stay awake to get something done.

I'm understanding this responsibility and it's really fulfilling and I'm also very excited about being able to wake up the next morning and anticipate something crazy for today. I have to get going now. I'm putting myself in some time constraint I shouldn't be placing myself in.

Going To Do Some Styling

Pretty much I'm talking about my aspirations no matter how ridiculous it seems. I'm just going to go full out with what my needs are. I do confess however that I use a very old and ancient source to guide me in making my decisions; I also practice it whole-heartedly to the best of my ability and even though I falter in the small things I know that I'm forgiven and can move on while trying to stay upright again after catching myself.

Basically I don't try to swear or smoke cigarettes because I don't believe in the mess for myself. Swearing is something that is highly common in the environment I work in but I just don't try it in front of others. I've had to accept some words as being so common that I can use them in appropriate places but they are not those traditional bad words that people so much know about. I don't know what I'm talking about. I need to go take a shower right now.

Trading Status

I still have yet to learn but I have one method that has consistently made me good profit. From doing all of those demo trades, I'm pretty much testing out how flexible I could be and still generate a reasonable amount of profit to compensate for financial necessities. I think I'm seriously going to be very conservative with my real account that's fed with a good amount of starting capital. I'm about to really start trading for real now, and I'm not worried about factoring some losses because I've been juggling around with all those considerations while demo trading.

I'm pretty much becoming so confident with this new endeavor and also happy that it only takes me about twenty minutes a day to look at thirty different stocks. I'm personally a pretty aggressive trader but I'm going to have to stick to what works even if it limits my trading time because the set up isn't there. However, in my demo account I'm going all out to test out new strategies I want to try and to do whatever I feel like.

Pushing Forward

I guess this is something that I've had to learn which is with whatever I desire to do so in my heart and with good intentions, then I should never give it up and keep going. Probably one of the things that I'm noticing about being in the U.S. is how we can just volunteer our services for any reason that we so desire. It's not really a bad thing in general. My mind is just wandering off again because of one of my roommates coming back in and talking to me. Regardless of the annoyances some others may feel with him, I don't seem to really mind so much because I've already been through so much.

What I was really thinking while writing is how, soldiers really volunteer to go to war these days in the new army. It's great how the U.S. has not needed to do another draft and even though it were to happen, those soldiers still get compensated with benefits and fed which is what makes this nation so mighty. I guess if the government was ever to have really evil intentions and I could back it up from the ground and up then I would pretty much escape the country or something if a draft occurred because what's the point of living in a nation you don't want to support.

Therefore, it's awesome how there are super soldiers in the U.S. who are pretty much volunteers and who believe in serving with their ideals and beliefs to assist the government with some operations to ensure the safety of its citizens.

Really Taking The Advantage

Nowadays, I'm starting to realize that I have surpassed where I've been in the last years. It felt like I was living in my own shadows but now as I progress, I see a much brighter future which I anticipate and feel so excited about. One of the things I'm noticing is that my reading level has improved at a staggering rate and I'm not feeling so much tension about sitting there and learning something out of a book. I really feel relaxed and it actually does interest me to do some reading on topics that may be a little eccentric from what others normally would consider fun.

Just because of my reading ability, I feel so much better off now. Also, my physical level has improved a lot and am actually stronger than where I have been. A couple months ago I felt discouraged in that I would never reach the strength I had back in those days, but now I feel it has surpassed my limit and still in the path of getting more stronger.

Oh Yeah

This is going to sound very repetitive but I just brainstormed into something very good based upon looking at some listings for government job openings. I have actually been lucky enough to get into an organization that pretty much belongs to the government, along with obtaining an interim security clearance so that I could do some paid training in some basic art to be qualified for working there and earn a living. Well, for the most part, the young females I'm surrounded by are pretty friendly to me and they don't seem to care how short I am so I guess I'm lucky for being a short man. Basically, I'm saying that a person's height doesn't matter. I've seen some very tall and burly people who walk around with a cane and for me, I feel pretty nimble and agile compared to them so there are advantages and disadvantages with being tall or short.

There's no need for a short guy to go through what I've been feeling which is feeling like an unable person from just being physically shorter than most guys. I actually now smile inwardly and don't care so much when a person calls me that short guy in their gossip or talks about it directly with me. Hey, I do stand out too and I don't mind so much anymore. It's something I've had to get used to.

Basically I just have to graduate from my government-backed night course now which has incentive because I'm getting free food and a place to stay. I just have to be pleasing to my managers who get pretty rowdy sometimes from sensing the guys are acting like a bunch of kids and getting drunk and doing stupid stuff. Already, a few of the guys have been kicked out from doing those mentioned naughty activities. I myself don't mind limiting myself to doing smart activities, so I just might have it made. It gets boring in class, but sitting and testing there for the money is better than not getting the bills paid.

I see myself furthering my education with the government by taking the opportunity to upgrade into a managerial position after about six months of working from my graduation. After completing the progression, I plan on completing a Master's degree related to my Computer Science Bachelor's degree. This should make me a very competent candidate for many technical jobs that pay pretty well. On top of all this, I'm going to have to find a way to pay my way through graduate school so I might do some additional part-time work and continue to do my successful day trading. I just might be able to virtually make unlimited gains in my trading which is really sharpening up. Some of my peers have already asked me to manage their trades for them, but I've been willing to show them what I do and it has been interesting and exciting for them to know about this opportunity I am a part of. They seem pretty gung ho about starting with some capital, so I will try to show them the ropes to help them win- because in my trading field, like minds who form a majority will always win. I plan on also volunteering to also be able to put some of my entry-level I.T. skills to use and assist some cute kids in the process and I guess I would happily put that in my resume and brag about inspiring young minds to my employers.

Feeling An Off Day

Despite me not feeling in the mood for writing on this blog today. Yeah, it's a Monday and I woke up really early to find that I was sidetracked and couldn't work out. Only after three hours later did I fall asleep again which is a bummer because I didn't do anything but eat breakfast. I also have to take this one night course which I'm getting paid for. It's pretty nice because it also comes with a security clearance. The only sacrifice I have had to make is pretty much being away from home.

When I get back home, I'm really planning on obtaining some computer technician certificates and sticking with this job I have been training for all this time. I have managed to step in and not get in trouble for sleeping or anything, so I guess I'm pretty fortunate with where I'm at and something I can look forward to in my future and with what I'm doing right now. What I will most likely be doing is also volunteering at an organization which will most likely be a place for helping kids mature more while utilizing some of the I.T. skills I acquired back when I was in school.

Being a day trader which I definitely am has also been pretty exciting. Nonetheless, it only takes me roughly at most twenty minutes a day to analyze and enter trades. It's something I choose to do so that I could invest into a future where I wouldn't have to let money be a factor in what I really desire to do for myself and others.

Experienced Largest Traffic Last Month

I'm writing this post with the intention of catching up with my desire to average one post a day. So far I'm behind even though it feels like I've written on this blog forever. I have been averaging more than one in the last hour, but not for the days category which is unfortunate.

Anyhow, I feel grateful that it was last month from all the posting I did that I received about 560 views on my blog site which means that last month is the greatest amount of traffic ever that this blog has received in the last five months-correction! 5 years!!! Not to mention I have another blog too to add a couple more years that nobody ever cares to look at. Anyway, the link to my old blog is somewhere on this blog and I wrote so much dirty stuff on there that don't make sense. Not much of a terrific feat compared to Yahoo! but I guess I live with it knowing that I don't really care if people don't want read my blog.

I've obviously put stuff on here that turned people off. One time, I wrote something that I thought was funny and then nobody read it except for me who would visit it everyday and just keep laughing. I guess everybody has their own personal tastes.

Cut And Dry

It's not about cutting wood and then pasting it against a dry wall. Again, I'm just being random here no matter how boring I think it is at the moment. I'm just typing stuff again because I'm trying to catch up while anticipating a long week. I received the message "Cut and dry" from a professor who I thought was a bonehead. Sitting at his comfortable desk and air-conditioned room, he's like I don't care if you have feelings, I'm going to give my comrade a favor and kick you out of my office. That's how life is, sometimes- going to have to live and learn.

Anyway, I think I dug into that professor's head and so he is no longer the head of the department. I guess there was something a part of me I invoked that just helped me through these rough and tough spots I felt I was going through. Only a past few years, I decided to let go of this roller coaster feeling and just see how it's like to go really rock-bottom with my own emotions. It was like about facing my full self which probably scares some guys from getting into. I think women accept whether they're being bad or good and laugh about it regardless. It's the selfish women I want to avoid but nonetheless, the woman you are attracted to has to sometimes be dealt with because the Bible says if you divorce a woman for the wrong reason and then marry another and have kids with her then figuratively speaking, God is going to take like the scarlet letter "A" which represents the word adulterer on His own Book of Life and shove it up the man's heart somewhere it might hurt. What's funny is that it also applies for women too.

Man, I miss some of those girls who smiled at what I was saying when I was beating around the bush. It's like every so often I would say something that would represent absolute fact and then the smile would widen. Cut and dry basically means get to the point. It doesn't mean "Hey, your idiotic e-mail made my stressed out associate mad" which was probably what was going through my old head honcho in college. I even wrote to that old professor who was mad at me from my e-mail and made myself appear stupid and so he was mad at something I wrote which made him depressed. I used that to my advantage in dealing with him. Basically, some people don't know what they're doing when they try to police you around and get all paranoid- that's where the restraining orders can happen and many jokes that arise after.

Back To Trying

I'm currently feeling a little headache writing on this blog but regardless, I want to dedicate myself to at least average one post per day for the whole year. Obviously, it seems like I have some off days because I'm focusing on other things and sometimes even limit my time spending on my computer. Basically what I'm doing is playing catch up.

Once you get into the habit of playing catch up after fulfilling other obligations, it doesn't really seem so bad anymore. I remember when I was in college with how I would feel disheartened when I fell behind in a course work and wouldn't want to try my best to get an A in the course. I remember how I felt so overwhelmed and had to end up dropping a few classes. I was so flustered about managing my time and just being really driven to do something about  just managing to get by! I did manage to get a Computer Science degree which is my undergraduate degree during this period.

Now, I don't really feel bad about becoming a responsible person anymore. There's nothing underneath me now that wants to hold me back from going in that direction. Being Mr. Responsible on this blog isn't some shady attempt at shaming my life and appearing very elusive with the world which basically turns a lot of women off. On the contrary, I just put it down because it seems fitting and also funny at the same time to reach for that goal of becoming that person.

Tribute To Newest Follower =)

I'm happy that someone who I hardly know has come on this site and added me into his blog. I have also been delighted to add myself on his growing base of adoring fans! I'm pretty much someone who doesn't mind analyzing stuff no matter how archaic it appears from what I know, history can teach us some important things. There's this story in World War II about how a commanding officer used the Bible to help him strategize a battle- it's because the depictions near the Middle East is very accurate in the Bible; these so called "chosen people" of God the Jews in that era had writers who really wanted to keep their whereabouts straight. It's because they had some renowned leaders and dedicated historians who were pretty bent on talking about this prophecy with mankind. Back then, it didn't seem plausible to think about what would happen today. It's also like it seems pretty impractical to guess what sort of developments are going to happen about two thousand years from now.

With the Bible being one of the oldest form of transcript available to mankind and authenticated through archaeological findings, from reading the text and applying a factual account to win a battle in World War II is pretty cool! There's a saying that ignorance is bliss- maybe it's a form of blocking out some type of pain a person wouldn't want to deal with. It could also be about figuratively speaking, wanting to be a neanderthal-like cave man at the moment and give into these fleshly desires that just convulsively happens in the person's heart. I'm just trying to be honest about it and because I'm also wanting to become more erudite these days because it's pretty funny to think about how some people want to socialize.

We All Have Our Critics

In some shape or form, no matter how much we want to make ourselves appear plain so that nothing bad could ever happen to us; there's always something that will come up short. What about we come up short in ever seeing bad things from happening- I'm sure some people  wouldn't understand what I mean by it and might concur with it being nice. What I'm coming to understand these days is just getting a reasonable outlet to express ourselves. Again, one of my female friends states she is crazy about expressing affection with an individual because she desires it a lot. It all depends on what the person is about, I guess. I've come to personally accept the pains I've grown up with going through puberty which is actually pretty funny when other males hear about it.

For the most part, I don't feel this sense of dread of being left out anymore and when it pops up in the back of my head, I just don't care about it so much. It's probably a sign of having grown up in personally dealing with others through everything. In other words, translating this to a very narrow personal application of my life- trying to constantly ask Annie Tran or Betty Lam might not really be worth it. It's not because I'm being racist- I used to hate the Japanese from being Asian and against their Imperialistic cultur starting back from the World War II era but then again some Japanese women are pretty friendly so I guess they can't go wrong there for the most part in developing decent relationships with the right setup.

If I don't hate on Asian women because I'm Asian then I guess I'm not being racist for saying something negative about the personality types of females like Annie and Betty. I am also being honest and in a way it's really true who they are according to my perspective so might as well have fun with it because no matter how angry or annoyed I feel with them, I have to accept the fact that they are people with recognized rights in this country we live in!

Sometimes Things Go Well

Okay, this is starting to get a little boring for me right now. Anyhow, I'm just typing away again and going to be talking about anything. I guess from having thought the same stuff over and over again without going bonkers and writing those kind of things on this blog has helped me to find some sensible resolve in my actions. What's cool for me is that I can now accept some of those who upsetted me in the past from not being at the same location anymore. I usually have this feeling of wanting to show them up for being wrong somewhere and just telling them directly about it.

About this whole drive of pioneering, I understand that it should really be driven by common sense. I think I was just being dumb and not really thinking because probably I put myself in a desparate situation and felt like I had to do something about it. It's like for one of my female friends who really craves attention a lot from a boyfriend and so when she's alone, she feels really out of sync. I'm realizing that my reading comprehension level is rising to a state where I don't really mind sitting there anymore and intaking some form of concept out of a book. It feels a lot more comfortable for me and I realize the benefits of becoming more book smart.

In fact, from having this feeling of becoming book smart it really benefits my writing in a way too because my mind is recalling more things a little sharper so that would mean more resources at my disposal when I desire to use them. A full-out point of view seems to arise from knowing a few main agendas that come out of each side and then placing value on what seems to be universally moral. In a way, commentaries seem to be holistic and it's something I use to get a more objective picture about some controversy that stirs up. Obviously, it seems like most controveries are not really that big for what it's worth and that others try to use them just to earn a living which is something you really can't do anything about. Anyhow, some of those things are what a crowd of people want to buy into and also, for myself it seems worth laughing about at times.

Been Really Busy

I guess this week has been very busy for me because of the amount of the time I spent away from being in my room. In a way, that's pretty much a positive thing. This sort of chore for me to average one post a day every year is starting to feel like a personal duty of mine. Maybe it's because it feels very therapuetic for me. I read in a book with this author that his sister pretty much is a workaholic to deal with her post traumatic stress disorder.

My mom has also told me that some people become really depressed when they stay home all the time and have nothing to do most of the time. It's like how making a living is something that gives a sense of purpose and perhaps make a person happy. This is all basic and dry stuff that I'm referring to. I guess I'm not really on fire at the moment and probably just warming up.

Getting To A Point Of Understanding

I'm just trying to type anything random now because I just want to finish catching up with the posts that I'm behind on. I think from putting new content on here at a daily rate, I'm actually experiencing more repeat visitors on this site. I just know that people come on this blog for probably getting a decent laugh about some stuff, and I'm perfectly fine with that because I myself like to have a good time while reviewing some content I put up.

Because of my randomness in the style of composing my blog, I don't recall a lot of the things I put up so when I go back to it later, I usually find myself laughing at stuff I put down or getting really pumped up. It's one of those moods sometimes where I decide to try to write about new topics and so I guess it makes this site a little more interesting sometimes when I feel enabled to make it happen like that.

I'm realizing that my words are starting to flow better and when I interact with others, I'm also becoming more coherent. In a way, I'm practicing my honesty in the real practical setting of this world too. Thanks to this blog that I have up, I've been able to practice something nice which is learning to be honest. The Bible literally states that being honest is like a kiss on the lips. In other words, I guess it can be looked at in a funny way- if a guy really likes a girl and wants to marry her and then end up kissing her then he should just be continually honest with her and feel like he is getting a lock on her lips. At least the guy can enjoy some decency in the process which probably would attract a good and diligent woman who might also happen to be really pretty.

Clearing the Mind

Martial Arts really tries to teach an invidual to focus on breathing properly and then let go of any distracting thoughts which allows the individual to heavily concentrate all of his physical resources into completing some feat like breaking a brick. I see that this could be a valuable resort for things that just toy with an individual. I, myself, have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do which I achieved when I started in middle school and then reached high school. After receiving one, I became really lazy at doing martial arts which is not really the point intended.

I think I just lacked enough motivation to continue pursuit of it- therefore, I signed up for another one which has been challenging but I learned a lot more in the other one then the three years of shaming for obtaining a black belt. Basically, I wasn't always trying to train at my ideal level because I was just too drained of my energy. Nowadays, I do understand the necessity to rest properly and to fulfill daily responsibilities and be a moral citizen. I was pretty surprised to read in the contract for the other martial arts that if I was to abuse those privileges from the abilities I would obtain through training then I would be kicked out- I guess that's a sign that the martial art I sought after actually works!

How My Day's Going

I've been told by a roommate that when I sleep, I have actually mumbled jokes and started laughing outloud while dreaming. The other day I was told that I also inadvertently did the hanky panky on the wall and my bed while laughing hysterically in my sleep. From what he stated, psychologists would think I've been in a good mood lately as funny as it sounds with what I've been doing.

I guess I'm getting used to where I'm at- I basically work out like crazy every morning like yesterday I ended up running about five miles at 5:00 am which was pretty fun. Today, I was sweating like crazy too working my muscles to a failure. It's only between 90 minutes to 120 minutes of working out; it's not too bad honestly for me now. I guess I can concur to it because I'm getting quite used to it and feeling the benefits of the day with a body that's just like ready to do some damage if I was forced into it.

When I get back home, I plan on working out like this too but I'm going to add some additional gym time to build some guns which will probably take me at least five years to complete. It's more like building upon smaller and consistent gains which is sensible and reasonable. In a way, it's like investing to reap something you want to seek after. With the job situation, I guess I can say that I appreciate being able to work somewhere now and earn a living while being an actual day trader.

One More

I'm behind with my posts because I've been busy the last week. I did notice however that it didn't really affect some repeat visitors from coming back and checking. I know that there are those days where nobody comes on here. It's like a business day for an ice cream man. People have so many options when they are hungry and it so happens that most people don't like to call ice cream a meal. Also, it seems like it's based on people's moods and no matter how hard a person tries to conduct business- people just don't care about spending their money on the man.

I think I've written stuff oh here that dramatically turns people off and get them to never come back. It's pretty funny because honestly I don't really need anybody to read this site; I just put it up to try to be interesting. I'm actually honored that even though I don't have time to put anything on here some readers have come back to read some more things. I pretty much have a library that's full of arsenal and obviously, I really had a lot to say against that church which now I'm really thinking of as like a spoiled little kid and laughing over. I am fortunate that I stuck with the truth to the best of my ability. I'm pretty confident that no law suits will ever come from that church as a whole. I was scared in the beginning over them appearing so unpredictable to me and being basically mean, but now I'm laughing at them so I don't really fear them because I'm the one to be feared now for them.

Basically, I'm laughing inwardly and cracking up while trying not to show it in the real world. For some reason, I feel that a black man does this a lot. I want to call it equal opportunity so basically I'm sure anybody can act this way. I think when a man like myself feels something is funny or amusing then maybe a woman who I am interacting with might feel it's cute sometimes. I guess that's funny in a way too and just meant to be a natural occurrance. It still doesn't keep anyone from getting along in friendships with the other gender.

Not Much Going On

Pretty much for me, I didn't really get too affected by those people at that Hope of God Church who were mean to me. I guess I can laugh about it now and just learn to cope with how bad they were and how it's really going to affect their church attendance status in the long run. Nobody really wanted to help me that much at a level where I needed it when I was feeling very vulnerable about dealing with annoyances of those church people removing  me as a friend on their Facebook page without really telling me what it was.

Now, I'm just laughing about many implications I started, and they were really not tuned in with the world or something. I didn't really want to judge in the beginning because I was very apprenhensive about coming up with the wrong conclusion and letting that turn into something I would regret later. I don't think the majority of people really have this type of fear- it's probably because I may be a little more sensitive than the average person regarding some things in dealing with wanting to stay friends.

Overall, I'm just consistently learning to become more honest about what I have been going through and letting it assist me in tying together some observations and come up with a relatively good conclusion that makes a reasonable amount of sense. From what I have heard, when it comes to psychological therapy it's really something that focuses on the individual and what he or she wants to do anyway ultimately because the individual is the customer. Keeping that in mind, those clincial psychologists also need to make a living too with helping others- unless it's mandated by law or something, I don't see how those church people who got so furious with me about something menial telling me to get that kind of help is actually sound advice.

Sometimes, you just have to laugh at the perturbances of others and live with it while resolving any conflicts with them. They may be worse off than you because they just want to overreact over something at the time they want to be selfish about because probably they're just tired or something.