I've had this slight addiction starting from graduating at high school on influencing others to not act so dumb around me. It obviously made them feel uncomfortable enough that they would not even try to engage hanging out with me- I was usually the initiator and managed to do most of the planning and get a lazy person or two to go out with me. It really wasn't fun because I didn't want to do all of that painful planning and worrying about getting let down by them.
Through those moments of unsuccessfully leading others and not really have a brain at the time to discuss about others the way people do and laugh all the time, I was pretty much suffering psychologically about nothing. Yeah, it took me awhile but now I'm seeing some logical reasoning about the circumstances that are arising now. I'm like in self-control with myself, and it seems to be a defining character of how others don't mind me so much.
I'm probably going to be messing around a lot with those slighty crazed people I mentioned- they seem to have some weak minds because when I spill the truth, they might become aversive about it with me. It's a lot of work because most of the time I don't feel like doing anything with them, but then again something underneath in my heart is telling me to just try and mess around with them. I just know that one thing leads to another and that any more negative actions coming out from them is really going to impact them even more in a negative light. I could use this personal conviction to my advantage now and just have some fun without really retaliating against them.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
