Just yesterday, the girl I'm into told me that she already found her soul mate. It's the person she is with, and frankly I'm convinced that she's with the right person so hope things work out between them. I think the reason why I hold her so much in regard is because she's the first person I actually love and am really comfortable about marrying with no issues. I mean I can already figure her weaknesses and what I would have to sacrifice to make it work, but just the willingness now for me to form a significant other is pretty much like a boss!
I mean I've had long term crushes with some girls ever since I had an idea of what puberty was, but it never developed into something where I'd become gutsy and risk being turned down with my feelings getting hurt. Honestly, since I'm not really the jealous type I don't really feel hurt over the girl's decision to be with the other great guy.
I feel really pressured, lonely, and all of these impulsive selfish feelings from time to time and learning how to manage them is something I'm relenting to now. I think all of these good things that I want to go after and do consistently is something that is going to take time in developing. I guess I can pursuing after everything that I want to go for and just let myself be hammered if things don't turn out the way I suppose I wanted it to go now. It's to also be very diligent about something and have high hopes but then just manage the feelings that hurt if I keep failing and moving forward.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
