Having committed myself to not do anything to myself that would be of questionable moral conduct to others, before engaging in all conflicts I'm pretty serious about, I should pretty much keep myself pure in heart. If I fail then I should pretty much prolong the encounter to another date. Pretty much, it's a form of disciplining myself with a system of balanced rewards and punishments. I have everything set out in what I really want to do now from having had lots of practice with the same person who seems to be lost in translation and claiming she still knows what's best and very distressed and tired about having to deal with the same issue!
The reason for entering into this state of purifying my heart is because I wish to no longer engage in that questionable act as a substitute to my misery of not having that really good and longing fulfillment to me. I'm going to pursue after the real thing now and accept all of my shortcomings no matter how much it causes me to lose sleep over it. Overall, I think it's worth it to progress from where I've been now and go further in my life's journey.
With the conflict that I'm now purifying my heart over while applying this form of rewards and punishments, if I commit the same act of personal lustful intentions then I will avoid entering conflict for a certain amount of time that was supposedly tried to be imposed on me. In a way, it's a form of mockery with them and that's probably what's going to transpire which is me making it seem like it's a very bad thing to be away from them and also a joke on them. When it fits together, the punishment I'm imposing on myself actually makes the other person look bad and actually good for me in purifying my heart. I'm taking it all the way without stopping now. I think I'm truly onto this personal system of mine that I've created to tailor my own successes in dealing with some people who are being difficult to me.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
