With all of the idiotic things I've been feeling with myself, it's a good thing to laugh those thoughts off in my head now. My heart is pretty much looking at things really optimistically, and I'm realizing that when you apply positivity with absolute truth and commit yourself to going after what you need the most in life, then life can actually be pretty meaningful no matter where you're at. To top it all off, there's this loving Father who supposedly began the world at the beginning of time itself and started life. It's all a faith-based system, but this whole reduction complex system of an organism to support a basis for an intellectual design of life seems to be appreciable and scientifically approachable. Man, the problem with Darwinism is that Darwin didn't really account for transfer of intelligence from one reproducing body to another when taking into account the genes. He pretty much wrote it off, but there is this big gap over average intelligence among chimpanzees and humans. Chimps are pretty much the most closely related species to humans at this point in history, and intelligence would play a major role in survival of the fittest, so why would Darwin not research the variance on it?
Anyhow, with all of this fleshly eating feelings of wanting to engage in pleasure going inside of me causing me to want to lose self-control, I'm realizing that when the moment is right then there is an appropriate time for those feelings to be expressed with someone special especially when dealing with intimacy. I think it's going to be natural, and I'm going to always have the same physiological functions and emotional responses so might as well not really dig so deep into it anymore and just accept it in my personal grounds and just take some trivial things in life compared to the big picture where the chips just want to fall.
