It Doesn't Matter What I Am

To some people, it doesn't even matter that I think I'm a nobody. It doesn't matter that I always want to humble and thinking righteously. I'm always going to try to put up the good fight and keep on racing to the end. I'm now pulling the plugs on some indecent things no matter how addicted or distant I feel from it because I actually believe in God that I want to please and also have a type I like in a female and I want to please her too.

I am trying to make time for everything now that is important, but I've been stuck on things that aren't that important. I need to do this more for myself now and because I just want to. My mind used to be in a different place and I used to set things on overdrive, but now I'm not really like that with a mind of my own and some people are just not taking it too well with me.

I'm going to live a blameless life to the best of my ability. I think the solution is really to not have a grudge with anything and to settle things down with some people by just initiating a parting of ways, despite my true intentions of staying friends. I think it's better for me to do this just to be the better man now. Anything that I see or hear, I won't give into my anger but go after showing love. Basically, what's been working pretty well for me is not relying on my personal feelings and then working at resolving the situation with the best solution and then not having any negative reaction from it. It's pretty much losing in anything when a person shows any form of negativity in a conversation and this is something that I finally figured out. I'm not going to use my emotions at all and go for what I want and then go for the best solution of moving on. It's pretty much just apologizing to the person and asking them to part ways and go separate ways despite my intentions of trying to become friends with them again. I think that's pretty much what I'm going to be doing a lot for awhile with some people. So far, they haven't given me the sign of wanting to truly move on with me; I think they still want to hang on to a part of me, since I asked them in this unique fashion. Yeah, I'm absolutely different in a good way and I intend to keep it that way.