I'm noticing this personal emotional pattern of mine of where I feel really down about stuff and am having a hard time from being randomly discombobulated. I get that because I place my thoughts first above anything else sometimes and get worried about the ramifications it might still have. I'm actually sort of a sensitive guy, but I like to be brave about it underneath. I just have this piece of mind take over sometimes and just go after something, whether I fail at it or not. Even if I fail, I'm so used to feeling down with myself. These days, it's a little easier for me to let it go and pick up the broken pieces and rebuild myself again.
Actually to be really honest, I'm really wishing that I was married and intimately active with a really attractive lady. It's funny that I mention it right now and have a sheepish grin on my face about it. I even look at myself in the mirror and laugh about how short I turned out to be for my own stocky size. I am getting a kick out of my own, personal human frailties and flaws.
I noticed the girl I like on Facebook to not be really on her profile like a hawk anymore. I'm still wondering all the time if she's going to discontinue her Facebook for some time to take a break from it. She's done it to my knowledge about three times already, which is sort of a lot. I think she was raised a good Christian girl and might actually be a very nice and wise person as well, who likes to have fun. To be a little honest, she's pretty hot but I don't really feel like messaging her because I don't want to look desperate or anything. I don't want to beg and encourage something, especially when I could spend my time developing. Until the day I find someone else, if she ends up with someone else, it's going to suck so much for me!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
