Confidence

I think what I'm looking for this whole time is basically the right set of encouraging people I can open my heart to and be comfortable with. It's basically fixing myself and coming to grips with how certain things that I've been dealing with don't really matter. It then also becomes about living in suffering and not minding it so much while working hard to develop myself.

I just have that natural feeling of wanting to pursue after stuff and get better at things. I then get an emotional attachment over things that I struggle with and start grieving over any of those losses. I've recently managed to finally reach the acceptance stage with a few things, but it's still a work in progress. I don't know, the way I'm feeling about myself right now is that I know I could be a capably good husband and be a supporting dad, but I'm going to have to do something about my predicament where I'm starting to become numb about and occasionally want to become reckless over not feeling right about things.