That Lingering Feeling

Yeah, it's pretty much that lingering feeling of craving something that's getting to me so much. I can't help it sometimes, but have to try to appease it. I realize that I get the urge to waste time with it, but I know that's pretty bad for me with the predicament I am in right now. Everything seems so peaceful for me right now, but right now there's really no special someone for me to share my life with. This is pretty much a challenge for me that I guess a lot of people go through, both men and women - old and young!

I guess I'm now facing a few challenges that others go through as well. I think I've just grown up to really enjoy playing some games while being mindless about it to just pass the time of feeling like I have nothing to do. I need to change that mindset now because I know that God has gifted me with an average capability of getting things done and going where I want to if I put a lot of time and effort into it.

It seems like the ladies I've associated with and gathered problems with me later have been pretty ugly and then when I see them later on, they become very pretty looking with boyfriends! Other moments, the cute and friendly girls I've talked to aren't even available. I guess that's the way life is sometimes- unexpected twists that just come your way. Maybe, it's just one round cycle that just goes around my personal life in trying to find someone to settle down with.

I don't really care now about the person's appearance, but I would like for her to not be really obese, lazy, and too old. I'm a little iffy about dating women just barely out of high school too, but if they are mature enough and into that kind of stuff, then maybe it's okay. I don't really care if she's been in relationships with other guys either now; if she can be happy with me, then I think we can settle and work at something. I guess her having kids too doesn't really bother me either that much. It's almost unconditional with how I'm looking at it, but the most important thing I want to go after is a woman who is very stable, nice, and a dedicated Christian.  All of this stuff is what I'm looking for, while along with working to settle my own personal grieving issues.