I'm going to play a more active role this time around in life. I was like that in the beginning, but I didn't know what the heck I was doing and still am like that to this day. I wasn't aware of my surroundings because I was struggling to do so. I had like this built-up chronic stress disorder of some sort from having felt so let-down in the past. It's hard to cure yourself over that, but I managed to do it from finding solace and happiness in the Lord.
What I'm noticing is that feeling of not wanting to do anything and just being so tired in that all your mind wants to do is just do something easy to entertain itself, like watching T.V. T.V. can be fun with the stuff that's on there, but it's not really that big of a deal.
With the people that I'm dealing with from the past, they are actually pretty flimsy people. I understand that and it annoys the heck out of me still to this day. I don't want to see them die or anything, but I want them to be alive and for me to release all that energy of being annoyed with them. I'm actually scary like that because it isn't normal to be like all up in people's faces.
I guess the best qualities come out of me when I'm trying to play an active role while struggling with stuff in life. I'm currently only struggling with being angry at some people, but it's not like I want to hurt them. I just want to make fun of them now! I'll go do that then to relieve some stress and keep it honest. Honesty is like a kiss on the lips.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
