It looks like from having adopted a new way of coping for my issues dealing with people, I don't really have to feel so grouchy a lot longer than I normally would feel. From being the short guy I am, I honestly thought nobody was really going to take me so seriously for the things I said or wrote to people about.
I guess it all started when people heard about me charging after a co-worker at his house. I came over because I was angry that he didn't want to resolve an issue he had with me. He just wanted to be left alone because he felt that I pushed his buttons too much. From feeling like I was a really short guy, I felt anything he talked about in the moment didn't have any meaning. Also with him being a guy, I thought he could sweat it out and come back to normal. Maybe it was just a temporary thing, where I caught him wanting to be in a weak situation.
I no longer feel so bad about it, but that's not the point. When I saw him again, it looked like he was in a mood for just laughing at himself about the incident. I think he wanted to find an excuse to not worry about he did with me and wanted to think that everything was going to turn out fine. My reaction was pretty normal, but nobody really wants to understand that and they want to place a high-value judgement with me because they like to think of me as being a pretty bright person. Even my mom frequently mentions in her lectures with me about how I'm pretty smart and that I can figure things out on my own. It's like Mom accepts how I want to go about situations on my own occasionally.
How would I have done it differently now that I understand what I did wrong? I just needed to say the right sentences. I didn't really point out that my old co-worker was being inappropriate and ticking me off so much! Nobody really likes to admit he or she is mad, when it's all about maintaining the pride. I had a really hard time maintaining those emotions, but now from really making the effort to think about human nature and the intentions that went into play, it doesn't seem so hard now.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
