Personal Assessment

I'm coming from a straight honest point of view. If a person is really chill then I will be the same and block out mean or selfish thoughts with this person. However, when the person doesn't act that way then that's when I have trouble dealing with it. I go crazy on the person and I'm very confrontational by nature from being an angry person and I can unload on the other person and just overwhelm them with my unrelenting negative energy. In other words, it's never a fun thing to be a crazy person around me.

My only excuse is that I have reasons to laugh about all this and then move to force the other person I'm being naughty with on purpose because he or she made me mad to be peaceful with me as well. I think my drive is actually very comedic and this side of me just wants to come out but I suppress it all the time, but I constantly remind myself of stressful situations of people I know who were not all mentally there. I now see it, so I guess it's really on me to just let that side out and accept being locked up in a mental hospital if they are smart enough to get me there. It's like playing a chess match and I'm not signing up for that mess and going for trying to break their defensive barriers and getting them to admit to themselves that they are out of line and should get some help so I could laugh at them and continue the beat down process.

This is honestly not that of a Christian thing to do and it isn't loving at all because it's so evil and I'm releasing a grudge by placing all that scary energy upon them. I guess that's why with me being very honest, it lets out my positive sides a lot and it's something that a lot of people can be jealous with me about and just ignore me for because they might have their own issues to deal with as well. All in all, I think the actual reason for how I can make all these plans and get away with it is because it can be genuinely funny from how I play things.