I think one of the biggest keys for me to be on top of things is going to have to be self-aware of what I'm getting myself into. For the most part, I'm pretty self-aware that I'm living as a celibate right now. It's interesting because I thought I should join an asexual group and then I found one of the members there sexually attractive, so I guess I'm not really asexual then and just choosing to live this life to again honor the Lord Himself.
Okay, so I'm living this celibate life and doing well at it so far just that I'm saying curse words thinking about a past acquaintance. I'm not going to mention names, ahem, Annie from that old church- errr, I already made my peace with her the last time I surprisingly saw her. She was all smiles and I just want to just smack her right now, but that would be wrong even imagining it. Okay, I choose to love Annie too now even though I want to be uncomfortable blurting out the F word with no one around. This is bad because this is definitely not the Christian way- more or less, I have a super tight habit of not doing this around anyone so if anyone secretly placed a listening device at my place for some random reason or in my car, then he or she might hear me swearing all over the neighborhood when I'm by myself and think no one is listening to me. Well God's angels are probably shaking their heads and the devil's minions could be having a good kick out of it. I should seriously repent of this secret activity and honor it for the Lord again!
You know, I think I'll add on another challenge just for kicks in addition to being already a celibate and succeeding on my fifth day, I think. I already lost count and don't want to stress the days now. It's going to be awhile and maybe I won't ever even be ready to marry a sexy Christian lady whose into that spousal "love ya" stuff, but I'll trust in the Lord for that area. I'm going to not swear while all by myself and not even think it when I'm flashing back to the time of how I let someone like Annie T Seude (don't know how it's spelled and who cares) conditioned me to blurt out swear words while I'm around no one whenever something reminds me of her for no reason. Err, I just filtered out another swear word in my head. Man, it felt good while I let that word flow out of my mind and not enter my tongue. I mean I wanted to say it, but the swear word had "God" in there if you know what I mean so I felt bad right there in my head.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
