Getting Things Done

I think the first thing I want to do is just continue to work on building my wealth through this side business. It looks like I'm here to stay at my software engineering job, which I'm glad to say that I'm very lucky to have. 

I no longer really care that much about staying mad at people in my past. It's about time that I dropped all of it and went after what I truly want. If they aren't up for it, then it's really no big deal to me now because I'm happy regardless of the outcome being negative or positive for me. These people in my past life are basically expendable for my whole life. I believe that God can direct me to others that I'm supposed to be around or help.   

Interesting Thoughts

I guess I'm practically this selfish guy who wants to feel good about himself from just trying to be nicest as he can be. Someone like me needs something to be able to measure how well I'm doing at being nice. I found the comparison I needed from a group of church people who ended up kicking me out! It's hilarious and I'm not lying about it either. 

For the longest time, I was really furious and holding a grudge against them acting so crudely with me by yelling and hurling insults while not explaining themselves when I demanded it. Yet, it's through these tough times that I've learned that I can still care about these people more than they care about me. This really makes me feel good about myself. 

It took a long time to gain back some reason and to let all my steam dissipate. I have come to realize that they are replaceable people. It really doesn't matter what they did to me or how they want to think about me. When you look at it, they couldn't wrong me even though they tried to put me in prison. I was really offended by this as well and so angered by it to the point that I wanted to go beat someone up. However, I wasn't going to risk being sent to prison for real afterwards. 

The closest time I came towards it was throwing a heavy Jehovah Witness book at the head Christian pastor who teaches a form of something called the prosperity doctrine, which also ended up enraging me. I did this in front of everyone at one of their Sunday Service and fell down the stage stairs while trying to make an escape. It totally did them in and I got away with acting like a fool. I don't remember what car I owned at the time, but I don't think it was my convertible. The most important thing is that I voluntarily left on my accord. Thinking about the aftermath, I remember hearing this high-pitched controlled scream and the pastor's wife standing up. 

It's a witnessed and shared tale that I believe scared the wit's end of a lot of the former members who could claim that I went crazy and turned into a lost cause. A lot of them moved on to other churches, but two of them who started it with me ended up staying. 

They are replaceable people in my life. There's really no need to worry. I'm just this selfish person who wants to see them in person to discuss how much I'm better and nicer than they are and still offer renewing our friendship, while disregarding their personal feelings. I don't mind telling them this and then offering my opinion that I think they should go seek a therapist to talk about their anger issues because they probably aren't going to be feeling very happy about me bringing up the past that they feel really flustered about. It deals with me and them and how I don't care about the past and want to turn the page while being on friendly terms because it just feels good having a strong personal opinion that I'm better than them at living life! 

Making Subtle Adjustments

I am now 37 days ahead of schedule and gradually increasing it. I know that I'm posting this for a Monday but it's already the weekend coming up for me. I am basically going to make plans to go buy a new car, do some running for exercise, and prepare for the upcoming Fantasy Football draft. 

I also would like to focus on cooking something too, so I will be looking into that as well. I guess this is all I have going for me right now. My Poker game has started to take off for me which is nice. I'm following this model of going for 100% or more profit with my buy-in and then being done for the day. If I lose at least half then I'm also done for the day. This seems to be working well with the numbers of keeping everything profitable for me. It's all about self-control and self-discipline while hoping to get lucky to play against a dumb opponent with a nice hand. This seems to happen enough times for me to keep it profitable so far. 

Investment Outlook

Currently, it looks like the stocks are going to be a long-time investment in the spirit of Warren Buffet to get myself rich. I think I'll just keep on maintaining it while letting it be the bulk of my money, while I speculate with a smaller amount of cash for making myself rich. 

The principle idea for me is that if I play a small amount of money I could afford to lose to gain lots of money, then it doesn't really sting that bad if I end up losing it all and can pick myself up to keep on trying again until I win. Once I do win, then with the insanely high return on investment (ROI), it's like it won't matter how much I started out with because that amount of money is going to skyrocket! 

Therefore, I'm looking for long-term stability from investing in high-quality stocks and building my wealth slowly while gambling on becoming rich through speculating on other financial instruments like Forex and cryptocurrency. I'm looking to get myself into crypto now and don't know much about it, so I will probably wager at the most $1000 to see where that takes me.  

It looks like my Forex trading skills are starting to stabilize into generating a steady profit, so I may be able to speculate from adding more funds into it soon. I think my money maker is probably going to be from where I specialize in for myself besides relying on others' expert opinions. Forex will probably become my bread and butter, but the amount invested will still be small in comparison to how much I have in for stocks. Yet, the expected ROI for Forex is high enough that I won't have to wager so much and risk it so severely. 

I'm really sold though on this wealth making group that I'm taking a part of. To become a lifetime member with all the perks, they are charging a whopping $10,000. I want to take part in this community but I would need the funds for it and it doesn't make sense to purchase it if I don't have enough to invest already. I already put in $1500 to get one of their advanced services and it's turning out to be something I can't take advantage of because I lack the funds to make those bets. I really want to though because it's had a very high performance to supercharge the portfolios of those who follow it.  

Becoming a lifetime member will probably happen once I have put in $100,000 with my trading portfolio. Right now, I wish to put in a down payment for a new home and also get a new car so I can't put all my earnings into my portfolio just yet.  

Current Car Situation

I have primarily driven a convertible for a long time and managed to rack up a total of 216,000 miles on it. It's a 2007 Ford Mustang GT Premium. It was a blast taking it everywhere and I did all I can to maintain it but the costs of repair have racked up while not really having the means to fix it myself right now. I would love to work on my own cars someday, but I don't even have my own place with a garage yet. 

I am still shamefully living with my parents as I near the age 40 in a few years. Yet, it's wonderful that I have finally tapped into my self-confidence and brought it out to its fullest potential. It's a wonderful feeling and the letdowns don't really hurt that much anymore. I'm not even that hurt about being a shorty compared to really tall friends. I will have to admit that it hurts subconsciously but I'm able to block it out without being too hurt about it. It's just weird how I get over it, but yeah that's where I'm at and not even bothered about being rejected by any lady I'm interested in too for any reason. 

I'm not afraid to go ask out a lady for practical reasons, but right now I haven't really found them figuring that I want to build up my independent wealth first and move out of my parents' roof. They can tell me to do whatever they think is right and call me a weirdo if I don't. This is how I have grown up so yeah, my confidence was really stifled for a while. Yet, I have overcome this background to feel really good about myself constantly and not be that worried about it anymore. 

I'm looking to buy a new car now, basically. 

What I Have in Mind Doing Daily

I'm starting to appreciate women's beauty varying at different shapes and sizes. I'm not really so gung ho about preferring any woman to look a certain way. I don't really mind so much anymore. It's just that I'd like her to not be too out of shape and sickly for practical reasons. I don't think I'm basing things upon superficial things anymore and neither am I bothered by any woman thinking like that about me. 

Honestly, I think a guy just needs to have this likeable personality while being quite talented, smart, and able to carry himself. I was really horrible with it in the past from not being confident enough, but now I've gained this never ending personal confidence. It's so awesome! I'm ready to start playing against the opposition if I have to for getting what I came for. 

Basically, I would like to cook delicious and fast meals while being able to share it with family and friends. I want to enjoy my free time full-heartedly and think this will make it worthwhile for me as a bare necessity. Also, I want to get clever about my workouts after having supper. I think maybe I will have to start out my training from using workout videos and doing indoor exercises like pushups and situps. I can then wrap it up with doing my growing taller stretches. 

Developing Daily Schedule

I think the biggest aspect for me to have gotten over is feelings of insecurity. Now, I feel a lot more freedom to do what I have in mind with my free time. It just doesn't bother me anymore to keep on working on myself and being patient about receiving what I desire. I'm really happy to have found my dream goals of making a living and to work on it. 

The biggest gamble I'm dealing with right now is playing a little bit of online Poker. I'm noticing that to make money in this game, you have to play against bad players consistently and end up taking their money!  Being anonymous, players won't be able to tell that I'm becoming more experienced and then try to avoid me but on the flip side, it can also help some bad players who like to rely on luck. 

The best way to invest and make money is to avoid losing much as possible. Keeping this in mind, I find that it makes sense just to bet up to one buy-in and then call it a day after doubling it up or losing at least half of it. My break even point will then be at the worst 50% wins which isn't that hard to maintain better. Even on some occasions, I will leave the table and cut my losses with a piece of my buy-in remaining which would then lower my break even point on average.

By sensibly playing with only one buy-in, I don't lose my sleep over it considering the amount of time it takes me to win or lose. It's also what I could call bringing in a little low-stakes excitement upon my life. 

Right now, I'm starting off small but I feel that managing my low maintenance style will start growing into big money at a reasonable time. 

Setting Confident Goals

Something that I feel really happy about lately is that I'm starting to not mind so much about the mean things a few people did to me. I'm pretty much at peace and totally not disturbed by the problem anymore. Overall, I am looking for a decent lady to connect with who is mentally stable and not too out of shape while being around my age whether older or younger; preferably younger so I guess there will be a better opportunity to have a kid if the need ever arises. Even so, I don't think needing a child is going to matter so much to me if staying intimately active while married becomes so much fun for both of us! I still welcome becoming a cool parent though while being a loving husband first. 

I am looking to stay in shape as well while enjoying some outdoor activities. First of all, I would really like to raise so much money from doing well in my side business. The layout I have in mind with my investing and trading schemes is like having low maintenance while enjoying daily golf. I'm not so much of a golf fan but probably more into bowling and doing stuff like paragliding or safely white rafting. I also enjoy skiing or snowboarding. I have a great time hiking along nature too. My best friend isn't much of a people person from having social anxiety, so she loves cool hikes that no one is really doing. 

Honestly, I don't think the looks matter so much to me as what's going on the inside and staying healthy. I mean I'm not going to lie and probably think she's always gorgeous regardless once I fall in love and end up marrying her. 

What I Want to Work On

Basically, I've been just writing stuff down for my own enjoyment while trying to exercise perfect grammar. There's really no discipline or format that I'm following. The only personal rule I have for myself is to not use any common swear words, even though I have a couple where I ended up using these types of symbols (***, !@#$, ---). I could very well be that enviable type of goody two shoes!

I have accepted that I can't be pleasing to all, so now I can live with some people deciding to shun me after letting themselves be acquainted to a lot of confusion and negativity surrounding me. It's very subtle though because that's not what I'm widely known for in my own circle. 

I ended up having a fallout with some lesbian a long time ago. I thought we were cool, but then she ended up getting freaked out by me. I can only smile and laugh about it now though. She was out of shape and my last message was that I would whip her into shape. I guess I did this to let out my frustration and nothing bad really came out of it. It was like I was breaking out of my shell, so I don't think she really minded in the end with what I did and probably even had a kick out of it.

All I really needed in the end was some consistency with staying self-confident under all this silence and period of dealing with uncertainty and irrationality. It's just personal negative feelings that don't have any meaning. I'm well aware of it for myself and not letting it play a role while being around people. I guess from managing this steady self-confidence now, I don't really feel ashamed over my mistakes and functioning much more properly as a person. It's like the person I was back then who managed to get all A's in school but it's also including the confident version of me. 

What I have really wanted all along is being this confident and hardworking guy while being genuinely nice and having not much trouble with settling down my crazy comrades. I think I've come close to my destination so far and the best part of all this is that I'm staying a happy person underneath. 

Staying Satisfied With Life

I honestly don't really care about being at the top anymore. I think it's enough to be making money from investing and then living off of the profit from having done something so smart while having free time to do other things and acquire things to have so much fun with the people you want to be around. I also don't need to wastefully spend things to try to impress others. I think it's plain stupid to do something like that if it's not going to bring you enough personal enjoyment. 

Honestly, all this materialistic gain is really just a tool to help make life easier to live and from buying it to help compensate some smart people or hard workers who are trying to get by. I think it means to be really lucky from staying healthy while being happy, and it isn't going to be maintained from being lazy about it. 

This is probably where I believe that some people fail to understand and don't really take any time to consider it at all. I think this is why having been a wise-crack student as a kid, I was able to get 4.0 grades. It's crazy, but I was well-liked from having an appearance that I hated myself but for some reason, adults and kids still tried to hit on me. It's weird, but from just trying your best to get by while not getting in anyway's way and also managing to be successful enough is noticeable to others around you. 

It's good to maintain all of this, but to be stable at your personal core; this was the ultimate challenge for me to overcome and it had to happen for me sooner or later while others have settled to move on from me being so much of a disappointment! 

Thinking About Life Practically

It looks like I've been giving my best friend a little too much leeway by paying for her vacation and picking up that bill for her family as well. She's very self-centered around her own happiness, which would mean making sure her crazy family is well taken care of. To her, only her mom is the most stable and she believes that she's also crazy enough to keep on seeing a therapist. Well, I ended up with this girl as my best friend somehow with all the time we spent together, along with a lot of money I spent to have fun because she's a working student with an expensive medical bill and has to keep on paying for subscriptions to enjoy entertainment.

At least she has a job and is a student at a top medical school so retains this cool image among her peers. I know her personally and so I have been this lucky guy who makes very stupid mistakes that aren't common and suffer from them. It's just that I find a way to manage myself while staying happy underneath in the end. It's plain weird but I don't mind anymore because I gained true self-confidence for myself after all these years. This is like right before my midlife crisis is supposed to happen in my 40s for the next decade. I don't think it's going to be happening for me from all the personal struggles I put myself through already while feeling like I was doing it all on my own.

I must be a really unique person for my best friend to recant on her thoughts about me being like a brother to her! I'm honestly starting to see her like a sister now, but because she has the best friend status, I seem to have a lot of similar feelings I would have for a lover! 

I'm not happy paying for her trips and her going against her word and not paying me back. She isn't capable of doing it right now, so I'm going to have to put on the breaks whenever she brings up future trips. It's until she's able to pay her portion that I will give into it. I don't really mind from how fun it is to pay my portion and also she's not like my potential lover anymore, so it doesn't make sense to take on this noble act for her family anymore. 

I also have a good reason to save up for my future and provide for my own potential family, so I'm going to have to start focusing on this. 

Interesting Situation I Turned Down

My best friend is a cute girl with an attractive body. She's been hit on to the point that she really hates it. Now, I don't think she really gets as much attention because she's been stressing out and aging with some health issues. I guess everybody has their blossoming years and hers just ended for some reason, but still I think it's hot to hold back my naughty urges with her occasionally. I just don't give in because I'm a gentleman basically and don't have problems staying like that with my very own best friend! It's too easy. 

Anyways, she ended up trying to set me up with a girl who is an incredibly picky and gorgeous woman for an Asian lady while being youthful. This lady was willing to give it a shot with me, a shorty! This lady is into tall men, which I fall short of from being too short as a guy and she was willing to date me. This is the power of female persuasion I guess from my hot best friend. She's so-so on the category of being hot now, but back then she was a knock out even though I didn't feel that way with her back then either. I think these feelings of attraction I have for her now are probably because I just care about her from regarding her as my best friend. Maybe, me considering someone to be my best friend has plenty of perks for that person to the point that I want to even be romantically involved with them!

I ended up turning down this lady my best friend tried to set me up with. It's because this hot lady is a single parent!  

Making Proper Use of Time

It looks like I'm sensing a lot of personal time for myself daily now that I'm not so caught up with being entertained so much anymore. It's great with how investing in stocks and swing trading the Forex market to speculate doesn't take me that long to manage. It's really awesome how there's much more time to do things for myself, along with not having commitments with some girlfriend right now. I'm not really feeling lonely at all either and just combatting all of my negative feelings from just thinking positive and staying confident with everything I'm going through. 

I have identified some areas to make better use of my time while keeping a positive and confident attitude. It's basically working out, doing some cooking, socializing with people, and programming on my computer. If I end up having much more time later on from getting really lucky, then I guess I can add on traveling with friends and doing some media editing to add to the list of my fun activities. It looks like my core preference to be satisfied in my life is to just stay practical. I did get invited to a trip by one of the ladies who I have a chance to form a strong dating relationship with. 

Out of the two ladies I have a decent shot at love with right now, I'm heading towards the more stable one right now. My best friend is the less stable one unfortunately, and it looks like I never really felt a natural attraction to her in the beginning. She does have a pretty cute face and physically arousing upper body. One of my close friends wants to make a move on her, but I don't think he's a great person from being an egomaniac. I have distanced myself from him on purpose and messaged him that I'll go visit him once after I raised my million dollars, have a six pack, and have made a settlement with what's left out of that old church which ousted me out of a crazy misunderstanding. I don't think he will even remember it because he has this delusion that he likes to play with by thinking he's in some multi-dimensional universe with infinite copies of ourselves. It's almost like his religion which he won't agree with because he thinks it's so true. In a sense, I guess he's already taken by himself unless you are willing to hook him up but then he will still underplay it much as possible. It's better off just leaving him alone to his own devices. He's a lost cause in my own opinion. I can see why his dad likes me coming to visit. It's because nobody really cares that much like I have in the past.  

There are better people out there to go entertain and with this never ending personal confidence of mine, it will be possible. It's like dealing with much higher quality than stocks. You make friends with good ones and then cut down on spending time with underperforming ones and then go search for new opportunities to keep on growing as a person. 

Staying Confident and Persistent While Feeling Good

These days I'm just not disheartened by my own outlook anymore. I just don't really have a care in the world about the things I'm struggling with right now. My personal confidence has been maintaining itself at an all-time high and feels so good while being right at home. I don't think there's really any reason to respond back in a mean manner to anybody talking like a jerk to me now. 

Yet, I'm okay at the same time with pursuing anything I'm interested in doing. I don't really mind being turned down anymore for any reason. It doesn't really concern me at all! This is how I found myself almost instantly connecting with investing in stocks while signing up to be part of a solid investment group. I really want to keep on moving forward and becoming better. 

Man, that one girl I met was incredibly hot a long time ago from an investment group meeting I went to, and it seems like she might have been taken. She did ask to buy me a drink and I turned her down and then seemed to act a little hurt. I wasn't confident enough back then to try to dig more into this situation, since it could have been really fun with building upon the idea of doing that intimate activity with her in possibly marriage! 

Now, my eyes have been really opened up to seeing how good it is to be around some solid guidance. 

Staying Stable Even Through Rejections

I'm starting to not really mind with the idea of being turned down for any reason now. I used to be very sensitive about it and took offense to even the most minor negative detail like a baby. Yet, I have gained a lot of personal confidence now and it's never ending as well so to myself, I have come out on top. 

I don't mind asking clearly for an answer and then respecting it while arguing to persuade in my direction for getting something I want, if it makes sense to. I really don't mind being a pesky person who is just going after something he wants as long as it continues to make sense. I mean if the person just isn't interested or some place else mentally then it's time to give it up and move on. There will be other opportunities to make better progress with someone else. 

I don't really care that I think a pastor of a church is really crazy. His name is Chai and he leads Sunday service in Los Angeles. Tell him I said hi, if you ever get a chance to meet him and that I think he was supporting something crazy and really dealt with nothing between us. Tell him that I'm willing to put in the effort to be a neutral-sided friend. I'm totally okay with him disagreeing about it because I think he is seriously a crazy person in a certain area who should go consult a psychologist about it! 

If he isn't interested, then let me find out about it please. I'm not going to ask him myself for a while, since my plan is to become a millionaire and gain some six pack abs before going up to ask. This is my unbreakable deal I made with God. It's remarkable that I'm still committed to respecting this and it's all based on my faith in Christ. Basically my only targets at that church will be Pastor Chai and Crazy Lee. Everyone else who wants to get in my way will be treated like added kickers, and I will let them know this while doing it instantly on the spot so they will tell others and might discourage everyone else from involving themselves further with me. I'm a special individual in dealing with these types of areas with my life. 

Putting Some Serious Thought into Finding the Right Lady

I have a solid relationship with my best friend and I'm one of those lucky guys out there to have one who is a girl! I did quite a bit of serious thinking, and it looks like she might not really be the one for me after all. It may sound depressing if any readers were shipping us all this time, but I have a few main reasons for believing this way right now. 

It looks like with our conversations, they don't usually get so deep that I feel any satisfying connection. It's more along the lines of moving along with daily living. The things we talk about are mainly daily functions and things that appeared to be amusing in the past. It also appears that her interaction with me is mainly all about her! It's not that she's self-centered but I have realized that she's about living for things in this world that makes her feel sensual. It's like she's practicing some form of escapism for entertainment or personal pleasure. I'm not so much into it anymore and probably can't keep up with her. Maybe in the beginning, because I thought she was such a cute girl and wanted a relationship that I became so energized to try to do everything with her. 

Now, her being attractive in appearance just doesn't matter to me anymore! It's weird because I still dig attractive looking women. I think it's just an added bonus for my dream girl, but not my core requirements to be satisfied in general. I have a dumb close friend who can't talk to women and get in any serious relationship while still going nuts for my best friend. It's not mainly about the looks, and he just doesn't care to listen like a numbskull! I have shut him down and don't associate with him right now to provide better enjoyment for my best friend and allow myself to cool off from constant frustration.

The first thing I'm looking for in a proper lady is really her gorgeous personality. My best friend struggles in that category by several miles. I prefer to just befriend ladies without showing any hints of wanting to date them so I can be sneaky about getting to know their true sides. If they end up getting used to me as just a friend and don't want to be pursued then it doesn't matter to me. I just don't care because I have gained so much personal confidence. 

Another important quality that I'm weighing in is that I just want to feel satisfied with how we're connecting at a wonderful level. I'm sure this could be a struggle in plenty of guy-girl relationships, and it seems like it's a really huge one for lesbian couples. I also share this sentiment and it doesn't really have to be about erotic purposes either. 

Those are the minimum things I'm looking for in my future partner to share a satisfying life and never turn crazy while feeling no regrets. My dream girl which I can live without but don't mind waiting for since I just don't care from being so confident with myself now is how she would enjoy spousal-related erotic activities while sporting an attractive body! That's really all there is to it for me. 

 

Getting back to my best friend and there's no offense taken by either of us right now, she will be so far behind if she ever wants to consider being in love with me. 

Not Being Bothered Dealing With Personal Relationships

This is crazy but I just don't care anymore if anyone disapproves of me being in a relationship with someone because he or she thinks I'm too short! It doesn't even bother me if the person I'm interested in dating says the same thing to me in a cold or nice manner.  

There's only one reason, and it's from having found true, personal confidence! My feelings of personal troubles don't really stick around like they used to anymore, even if it's the same lingering feeling that comes and goes. It's like turning on something that feels so bubbly and warm underneath without having to put in that much effort. 

I can't really explain how to get to that point right now but it's probably from putting a lot of time into sorting out your personal insecurities. A long time ago, I was trying to receive approval from everyone, but now, I can accept that it might not happen at any time. I'm seriously being the person I want to be and happy about it, while living positively from being able to laugh off my faults. 

Working Towards the Dream Job

I have found out that my ideal job is making money while not having to do much physical work nor much talking and not needing to spend hours upon hours to get paid. This is where investing comes into play. From what I have picked up on, it's a long term game meaning that you will start out small and just keep on growing your portfolio gradually to a ridiculous sum. 

I have found a neat compromise and it's what I have always been working on all this time. I'm swing trading the extremely volatile currency market. There's really not much news and insider information for regular Joes to get an idea when the market is going to dip or rally. It's filled with plenty of uncertainty, but I enjoy it nonetheless at near its fullest. I'm even swing trading this market which a lot of average-minded investors will think is crazy! Yet, I'm not the one dealing with a blown account after having started several months ago. 

It finally makes sense that I want to risk it big in the currency market to get rich as fast as I can. I'm a dreamer in a sense and can humbly accept it. I'm really going to keep this a selfish activity, no matter how much friends or acquaintances try to bug me for the secrets I pick up on. I don't think they are worthy to gain the excess riches this profession can provide from my personal guidance. I also may believe this for my own kids! Probably the only exception I'll make it for is my loyal wife. I'm not married yet to be clear and speaking in future tense. 

Proper Tasks to Do

It looks like I am very serious about reaching wealth as soon as possible on my own terms and have chosen currency while investing my money into stocks with some options. I am thinking alike with this one book I read from a millionaire trader. It's really quite interesting, but he didn't share any secrets and held them back. I'm acting sort of the same way too. It's the way it should be and so we just need to go on to find the right people who will guide us along happily and also for a reasonable price we can fathom!

I guess it's really serious now after identifying my dream job which I have been working at. It started the moment I put a little money into it and did it. 

For my self-improvement aspects, I'm looking to just have balanced workouts and cooking fast, delicious meals. This is where those types of cookbooks will come in handy while also being able to find some recipes online. 

I guess I'm pretending to dream about other things sometimes too, but I fall flat on my face often when I do! I do have a main job now that I am striving to do while acknowledging it's really my dream job and something I can absolutely fathom while enjoying my life while maintaining healthy relationships too! I guess this makes it possible for me to feel lucky just because of that aspect. I even have a possible girlfriend joining me for the ride. 

On the other hand, the thought of going steady with my best friend might be something to keep on staying put. I do manage to put out a lot of positivity and feelings of happiness while talking to her though in person or on the phone. It seems like she won't ever shut me out of her life now because we're so close into it with what we already have. I know she likes me too, but she's a little weird about expressing all of those mushy feelings. She is after all, my best friend and someone who I truly care about wholeheartedly. 

Simplifying Tasks into Meaningful Ones

I think there's a bunch of activities one can do that may be unnecessary. I mean they can be a lot of fun though, but it won't mean crash and burn to your life if you don't ever get to do them. It's starting to make a lot of sense with what I'm trying to do.

Basically, planning things out with my best friend really means a whole lot to me and I really do want to invest a lot of energy into it. Well, she's a younger lady and beautiful as well and doesn't seem to mind me saying stuff that makes it look like I'm interested in her. For the time being, when I do say it, I do it for just laughs.

It does bug me quite a bit whenever she brings up the topic of my dating life. I really like her already and I think she's worthwhile being around even if it's just hanging out. She is a really significant person in my life, even if we only ever see each other as just good friends in the end. I have been trying to find meaning to this negative feeling, and it looks like I've come to an answer to it so far. I'm going to really have to let her know these thoughts some time whenever I get the chance. I do have a lot of chances, but it's not like I'm looking to confess my love to her or anything. 

It seems like at the moment, I'm just having too much fun hanging out with her that I don't seem to mind being a little annoyed by her sometimes. 

Going After the Dream

I just read a cool article last night about how the fastest way to get wealthy is living out your dream. It's the most risky and hardest method though, but I don't seem to mind my dream job. Yes, I finally figured out what I really want to do to get filthy rich as possible. It's simply trading in currency while investing in stocks to back it all up. 

I have learned to handle the volatility and stomach in the pains of losing without having any attachment to my money in the market. It either goes down or up. I'm in it to make a profit, and I'm not going to give up if I lose because I'm going to put in a lot of passionate effort to make myself better on my own. I have this system that I have been fine tuning for years, and it still needs constant adjusting so I don't think I'll ever stop learning to the point that I can automate it with programming a trading bot, which would be fun. I can only hope to do that though.

Still, I figured out where I want to put my hard-earned money, which is into savings so I can invest and get wealthier! 

Updated Plans

It now looks like with my precious time, I want to go socialize, work out, and do some cooking. On the side after work, I'm maintaining a few investment portfolios and I'm trading live currency to establish profit. I've tried to profit off of online Poker but now I figure that it's really gambling because you can't always control the amount of money you risk during some situations. It's a good Poker decision and there isn't anything wrong with calling someone's huge bet when you know you are ahead, but it could still end up going against you. Conversely, when you know you have the opponent beat, you want to put in much as you can but will possibly not win a huge pot.

It's these dynamics that add into the gambling atmosphere, no matter how solid your Poker skills are. Some professionals have done well from tapping in other profitable corners from Poker that the normal brain can't detect, but they are so few compared to like the billions who have gambled at least once in their life! 

Honestly, if I enjoyed this rush even through the pains of going on a losing run, then I would probably have never picked up a regular job and be trying to play on live television. I am once again disillusioned based on my principles and now realize that the gambling aspect isn't based on what I think is a really good Poker system, but from those situations where you may have to risk more than you like because your opponent keeps on pressuring you with a tough decision. There's really nothing you can do about losing with a string of bad beats that go on consistently at the wrong time. This is what Poker can consist of at some moments.

I believe that I have better control of my betting size from investing and keeping it a steady 1 to 2% risk per trade and not have to be sitting there while watching boring charts move from volatility! The only time I will gamble on my iPhone at online Poker with low stakes involved now is when I have down time and isn't a good enough reason for me to go socialize, cook, or work out. 

Building a Good Life

Today, I'm realizing that personal freedom is definitely a wonderful privilege to maintain. There are plenty of moments where the self can feel a little doubt and sometimes depressed, but snapping yourself out of it is why you are able to keep on living in the first place! 

I have noticed now that it's just energy and sometimes it feels negative but now, it's something I'm able to block out better. It's probably because I do quite a bit of endurance running of at least 8 miles or approximately 12.9 km of trail running which includes some uphill moments. My body has felt like passing out plenty of times and I want to take a break sometimes, but I've kept on telling myself that I'm going to keep on moving and at least run a little faster than just jogging all the way! I don't ever regret completing these workouts and I'll be going back to do it again, no matter how I'm feeling at the moment.

Reflecting upon it, I guess as long as I can stay awake and focused then I can accomplish what needs to be done eventually. Some are a lot more difficult than others, but that's the point of continuously working hard to achieve something. 

What It Looks Like

Right now, my online Poker action against recreational players is bringing me more profit than my Forex trading. For the moment, I'm taking baby steps with Forex to ensure that I have my system working before cranking it up to where it's supposed to be. 

What I have proposed in my head is to play for maximum revenue per day in online Poker of four times my buy-in. I'm currently streaking with a 6 to 1 reward-risk ratio which is really nice, and I'm also playing a fast fold format meaning that lets me jump onto the next hand after folding the previous hand. This could be good for me since my system is currently working. I don't play by feeling that much but just by how much my opponents bet and taking a reasonable chance with my best starting hands. 

I'm not even that worried about taking bad beats anymore, while having adjusted to this playing field. For instance, I rarely limp which was what I used to do in practice games. Perhaps, there could be situations to do this on a table while playing a casual game of Poker with everyone. However, on the fast fold feature, it doesn't make sense to limp anymore so I made some adjustments while being a rookie.

Not for long though because I'm making other rookies fold from doing the same mistake I used to keep on making. 

Being Mad at a Friend

There's this one guy I've known since high school. He can get annoying and become egotistical while not being successful. He does make some strides but it still isn't enough to be at where he thinks he is. I have beat him up via text several times over and now he's probably made the decision to avoid trying to make himself look worse with me pointing it out and him not being aware of it.  

He's a friend who is pretty much a lost cause and someone I can still drag around to do fun things with me if I want to. I don't think he's worthy enough of a person anymore to do those things with him. It's probably time to cut my losses and move on while trying to keep on meeting better people out there for me. I did say that I will visit him after becoming a millionaire and dealing with those certain morons. I will live up to it, even if he ends up forgetting about that text conversation we had.  

Losing Weight

With this weight issue, from staying inside and eating a lot, it's been slowly creeping up on me. I'm back to trying to lose weight now. It's pretty much a combination of working out, eating properly, and getting enough rest for me. 

I guess nowadays I'm not really suffering over my predicament like I have in the past from bottling up a lot of my frustrated feelings. It really isn't the end of the world and constantly improves from having self-confidence. 

It probably makes sense that not everybody is going to be at the same level as others. Some are just better equipped at working hard and being more successful than others. It's a lost cause to think it's unfair and become crazy over it, but I'm sure that quite a bit of people are still crazy like that. They can still be noticeable from what they do to you on social media! 

For myself, I'm not looking to be famous because it will end up overwhelming me. I do like writing things like this for the purpose of my own personal amusement pretty much. I can understand the few people who used to like me but changed their minds about it later. It's possible that they could be jealous of me, but I'm not going to go accusing them of it. I want to stay a humble person and keep on making personal improvements all around my life. 

Maybe those few people in my life who end up becoming a lost cause with me is a good reason to stay humble and accept that I want to always be a better person and do what it takes to get there. I just can't be mad about it anymore because there's no point in dwelling over something that won't yield amazing dividends. 

I will continue exercising self-confidence with positivity and be honest about it while trying to give back wherever I feel comfortable to do so. For the few people who are going to keep on walking out on me, it's probably going to just keep on being like that even though I'm always tempted to try to keep them around. Yeah, I'm not going to be so negative over other people's decisions I frown upon. If I do have the chance though, I will speak up about it and even defend myself wherever I'm striving to make myself happy. It's just a positive and diligent attitude after all which is the same as my personal definition of being confident! 

Sweet Message

I wrote this cute message, instead of my proclamation to go to war and try to overcome a hellish situation with a couple zany individuals. This goes out to someone, but I think this will be my last message for her because I've poured out my heart on this one. It has an ending that feels like an artistic flavor, which I like! 

Hey ( girl ),

I think you are a nice and friendly person. Also, I'm still really glad to have met you a long time ago at church. It still has its shortcomings especially from how they ended up treating me, but I'm not feeling like a raging lunatic about it anymore.

I think you're a beautiful person both inside and out. If you were an Asian girl back then and I happened to have a lot more self-confidence too, then I would have tried asking you out more than a million times over lol. Not kidding you, too. This isn't really meant for flattering you since you're already married. I'm happy for you by the way from the bottom of my heart. It looks like it's working out for you nicely so far.

Anyway, I hope to clear the air with Chris someday. If not, it isn't a big deal. I can't stay mad at him because I think he's crazy! He ended up trying to help me over something that had nothing to deal with us and became angry about it. I was accepting all the help I thought was good, but turns out it wasn't a wise decision for that time around. It's a wonderful lesson to have learned and not holding any grudges anymore since he'll always be crazy to my mind and wouldn't make sense to dwell on a lost cause.

I'm just trying to be a gentleman while letting this off my chest with you. I also thought this might be fun and sort of enjoyable for you. Trying to understand my way with the ladies a little more these days lol.

By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. John 15:8    

God bless! 

Personal Formula With Maintaining Happiness

I'm not feeling so overburdened by negative thoughts anymore because I'm willing to work my way through it. For myself, I believe that I slow down to a point of even shutting down a lot when I'm faced with so much adversity and unwanted negative attention. The thing is when crazy people are against you, then they don't want you to surpass them while feeling you are stronger than they are.

Well, it's only natural with crazy people I suppose since I was one of them too! What makes me more different is that I'm willing to be more open about my past, but there are plenty of crazy people who won't say anything and just block out whatever you are saying if you mention this to them. 

Basically, the proper thing is to just not worry about it because they are just plain crazy and can't really do much in their power already anyway. It's these realizations you figure out later on, so it's like just naturally it can cause a ruckus especially from knowing they aren't really in a high position while willingly trying to give them a hard time about it. In the long run though, they are the losers because they can't solve their issue and need someone else to help them while sticking to their negativity over something that wasn't that serious to begin with. 

To stay angry at crazy people, it's a lost cause and my whole being knows it so I started labeling a lot of things I don't like to be crazy and it's worked out to helping me stay level-headed and happy. I have this attitude of just wanting to work hard and have these surges going on underneath me that causes me to stay focused. I can break away from it just as easily too and get myself sidetracked. 

I've been practically lucky because I am heavily misunderstood and everything takes time for the most significant pieces to set up these days because everyone wants them and isn't quite that easy. I'm just happy that I found the right sources that connected well with what I'm looking for. I will continue to chug along while staying self-confident and knowing the true meaning to it. Until these setpieces arrive, I will have to wait on accomplishing my eccentric goal of sorting weird things out people had with me. 

Being Patient With Confidence

The meaning of being self-confident has taken on a whole new, deeper meaning for me. From doing a weekly morning run on Saturdays of roughly 8 miles or 12.9 km, my mind and body went into this trance of understanding confidence. What I noted for myself is that confidence is made up of two important qualities- diligence and positivity. In other words, I think confidence totally rules if you're a guy!

It can be quite charming with some of the ladies too, if it fancies you. At the moment, I have more lady friends then guy friends. A guy accused me of being a player, but I assure my readers here that it's not my objective. I'm looking for a good girl to settle down with right now. One of my lady friends believes that I should date a lot of people to figure it out. Despite me being a short guy, I seem to be finding my way around with some opportunities. 

I'm just not looking at it from the shallow perspective anymore, so it opens up my horizons a lot. I can be happy with marrying any lady as long as I have true feelings for her from sharing this wonderful connection. It will even refuse to stop working while trying to build a family or enjoy life!

Understanding How to Make Money

For myself, I'm currently thinking that grinding a lot of my time to make money in online Poker is going to be a pipe dream. It's not what I'm really thrilled about doing personally. It's just going to be something recreational or another job if I end up losing the current one I have. I prefer my style to be hands-off instead of being there for hours. Even with an automated robot playing for me in Poker, I don't think that will even be plausible for me since Poker players are smart and will figure out its weaknesses and then take advantage of it. 

I think I'll stick to dreaming about making my money from investing and trading currency. I can see this working out for me in the long run. Right now, it's just playing the waiting game and putting in a decent portion of my income for saving. I seriously think I'm in the right investing group and have found the one that will lead me to financial independence. 

What I believe is going to make my run faster to riches in the long run will be my Forex trading skills that I have been working on. Along with the expected income I can make out of this, I will then allocate some more of the surplus into investing with stocks and other precious metals to create a profitable portfolio. I think I'm going to settle for a lifetime membership with this one group I am following, once I have made enough from it.