It looks like I've been giving my best friend a little too much leeway by paying for her vacation and picking up that bill for her family as well. She's very self-centered around her own happiness, which would mean making sure her crazy family is well taken care of. To her, only her mom is the most stable and she believes that she's also crazy enough to keep on seeing a therapist. Well, I ended up with this girl as my best friend somehow with all the time we spent together, along with a lot of money I spent to have fun because she's a working student with an expensive medical bill and has to keep on paying for subscriptions to enjoy entertainment.
At least she has a job and is a student at a top medical school so retains this cool image among her peers. I know her personally and so I have been this lucky guy who makes very stupid mistakes that aren't common and suffer from them. It's just that I find a way to manage myself while staying happy underneath in the end. It's plain weird but I don't mind anymore because I gained true self-confidence for myself after all these years. This is like right before my midlife crisis is supposed to happen in my 40s for the next decade. I don't think it's going to be happening for me from all the personal struggles I put myself through already while feeling like I was doing it all on my own.
I must be a really unique person for my best friend to recant on her thoughts about me being like a brother to her! I'm honestly starting to see her like a sister now, but because she has the best friend status, I seem to have a lot of similar feelings I would have for a lover!
I'm not happy paying for her trips and her going against her word and not paying me back. She isn't capable of doing it right now, so I'm going to have to put on the breaks whenever she brings up future trips. It's until she's able to pay her portion that I will give into it. I don't really mind from how fun it is to pay my portion and also she's not like my potential lover anymore, so it doesn't make sense to take on this noble act for her family anymore.
I also have a good reason to save up for my future and provide for my own potential family, so I'm going to have to start focusing on this.
