Throughout the day, I find myself with small relapses from randomly recalling a few stressful memories that have been implanted. These are practically things I'm ashamed of or angry with myself about. It's feeling like how could I let someone do this to me!
During these moments of the day and if I'm around nobody except myself, I start swearing out loud and go like forget this person in a much more messed up way of saying it. I've even let my tongue accidentally curse the name of the Lord several times even though I recant those instantly. I'm just choosing to reveal a couple weird sins about myself.
More often than not, I might actually still be a much more relatable person. It's just that I used to have trouble communicating from lacking confidence and preferred to beat around the bush. I still don't regret having made those errors and finding out who I drove crazy because of it!
Practically to get over all these hurdles right now, I just think about how I don't really care. I mean truly, I don't care! It's all good and forgiven now because I just don't care anymore.
