I seem to be one of those who imagines a lot of crazy things that could happen or go wrong randomly when I'm feeling so jumpy during my selfish visualizations. I admit that it can get violent in that I will scream in my imaginations and start pushing guys like my dad onto the floor and then scream in his ear how stupid he's being with me! I wish I could get away with it without having any effect on them, but it probably would maybe because it's so crazy and if I did it in a very weird fashion.
I actually have been ballistic before, I think, but I don't really remember. It's this type of effect that I would want to happen, if I were to go all out with screaming someone's head off. I don't think it's necessary anymore from understanding my approach.
It's also been making me a little sad to talk a little with a female friend about finding someone else to be partners with, since I'm not interested in her. She's mentioned that she really likes me a lot and has even told me enough reasons spread out over the years I've known her. She's also in a committed relationship with someone else right now. I don't think there's enough chemistry between us for something serious to ever happen. My response is to just be quiet about it right now and not show how I'm sad to talk about this with her.
Maybe it would be better if she never said this is about me finding someone else besides her. She should probably keep that sentence to herself. Well, I'm not mad at her for mentioning this to me a lot. It just makes me feel a little sad about our situation. This could probably also be a good reason for why it would get awkward to some people about being good friends after they dated each other.
