4AverageLife's Main Personal List
- Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
- Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.
- Handle an important task at work.
- Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
- Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises.
- Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
- Attempt to finish reading a book
- Buy a single family home.
- Finish my software engineering related courses.
- Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
- Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
- Do some smart cooking.
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I think with my confidence having been stifled in the past but now broken free to be clean of any lingering personal insecurities, it's a total game changer for me along with my undying faith in the Lord. When the going gets tough with anything you are trying to do, just cling to absolute self confidence while working harder! My faith in Jesus is really what's causing me to stay here while constantly feeling this radical change take place within my heart.
I realize that with a close hangout buddy, we really could have done something close to hooking up by now if things were a little different. It's still not probable at the moment because now I realize she has a major deal breaker for me that she could fix over time from working on herself with a therapist. She's also in a relationship with someone else right now she truly adores and cares about. I'm secretly not really into her being with that person because it's related to my own personal beliefs which I don't think I ever need to share with her. I do care a lot about her personal happiness, and I'm not going to be persistent about being together. I actually don't mind all of her faults and how she appears anytime anymore but a couple things about her behavior is something that is really a deal breaker for me and she can still work on it.
With her having thought of me originally as like a brother, I see it as because I wasn't establishing enough chemistry with her. This theory makes sense because I subconsciously spotted a deal breaker but was making the effort to still be friendly with her.
It wasn't really that smooth sailing and always messed me up on my first dates until I went out with the right lady and she politely turned me down. However, she seems to have allowed a small opening for us to see each other again. This has become the turning point for me in understanding my romantic relationships.
I never really put that much thought into all the reasons why I'm frustrated while using my own natural talent of coming to happy conclusions about myself. I was just dwelling on my negative emotions and complaining secretly why things had to be this way.
The way I managed to get out of this is from eventually developing true confidence and working harder. I also see myself as a natural at being able to understand myself from a therapist's point of view since I'm managing to always stay truly happy and confident with myself. I also know now that I don't ever want to talk about my dating goals with certain friends because they are annoying me and how I prefer discussing it with a certain inner crowd instead. This annoyance comes from thinking it's a waste of time talking about it with them while feeling like I'm not interested in what they have to offer me. These friends can also work on developing qualities I admire, which may change my mind over time of course so that I'll be happy to open up about my dating life but this is something I'm not going to openly remind them about.
