I'm starting to realize that when close people who are feeling selfish want to control you, they tend to belittle your behavior; especially if it's hindering their desire at the moment. This brings me up to a new understanding of my mom and sister. I believe that I am entitled to make this negative judgment to them, as it will help me love them better. My sister and mom both exhibit a small heart with lots of screaming and yelling, which gets me really enraged! It is so pestering that I'm going to publish the memory and get on with it.
I realized that they want attention for themselves with trivial pursuit from viewing media. I think there are plenty of close women out there who would act really flustered with you, if they were missing their favorite T.V. show. What I do is play the piano so much, and it bugs the heck out of them. It's really important to me, so I can't stop all of a sudden in general. I feel like I'm serving people. I think playing an instrument and developing a skill is better than being entertained by an idol. I really wonder if my mom and sister are having some trouble with socializing or just in the mood for being totally lazy. I realize that when they tell me to stop, I'm not really obligated to because what they are doing is insignificant to life. I also have this feeling of them being jealous with successful people. Successful people need to get some practice time in. I think overall their hearts are not fully mature, no matter how intelligent they try to portray outwardly. I know they believe they can't be changed inwardly, so they submit if I keep arguing with them. It's really important for me to be honest with myself and not really care about their character attacks, as I know we all can adjust our outwardly appearance anytime temporarily.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
