I think I'm on an endless loop of some sort of passion. A type of passion that wants to lead me to discover something. I know how some individuals say indecent words, which I hear practically quite a lot in this world but I don't really choose to use them because it makes me feel bad whenever I think about those kind of words. So I'm left to try to be more creative in my approach of insulting others or making up bad jokes or being crass or just trying to complain in this world.
I think for myself I'm really left to utilize everything that I have by just plainly being honest with myself even if it hurts me. I guess I've been wanting to avoid myself sometimes by not being honest with myself. I think that if I'm really honest and whatever road I've decided to take, even though I'm afraid of doing evil acts and also hate them at the same time as of this moment, I'm left with just being myself ultimately in the end. I guess dealing with this whole marriage thing with myself, I would definitely not mind being with a single woman the rest of my life but I don't really mind letting her go for someone else she's supposed to be with even though it may be a little hard for me at first. Maybe, my life is supposed to be centered around myself just being single the whole time and it does hurt sort of. I feel this hurt inside of me in making attempts to annul feelings that I have a hard time letting go of. Overall, maybe the idea of just doing it is the best philosophy for myself.
If I had everything I wanted materialistically, physically, emotionally, talent, and in being loved by others; the only thing that would set me back from marrying her would be if she did not really want to or if I was not really comfortable with it. I think I have some emotional problems. Haha! I'm just afraid to really do stuff to my Facebook because I don't really want to check how many Facebook friends I'm losing. Haha. The idea of going up to people to ask them to put me back on was so irritating and nerve-racking for me at the beginning. Haha. My stress level is so much lower now, but I still feel this aggravation kick in for me. I guess I'm a little comfortable with it then and that's where I need to really suffer to learn a lot more about this whole Facebook phenomenon and people. Haha.
