Leap Year

A crazy thing happened to me yesterday. I guess what I went through really sucked even though I was hanging out with a female friend and one of my closest buddies. I managed to ask this girl if she was interested in hanging out, and what I really liked about her is that she was really upfront with me in letting me know she wanted to go with me to the destination I was headed.

From the position I have in my dad's company and being single, I did get to meet a courteous and cute Korean girl and get initially greeted by another pretty Korean girl. I just don't care that they're really good looking or not; it doesn't matter to me because I'm not really going to do anything with it anyway. It seems like it's feeling like a hassle in going out with so many girls and never settling down. I'm honestly not seeking for temporary pleasures now but instead looking for a long term and fulfilling relationship with a wonderful woman.

These Korean girls were also taller than me, and honestly, I wasn't really bothered by my own height anymore. I'm starting to think it really doesn't matter if the woman isn't that bothered by it. At least it can develop into just a decent friendship and from being short, I might be able to discern and get to be around people who have beautiful attitudes. In a way, being short and finding the one-in-a-million inwardly beautiful woman to marry is being very upfront.

This is pretty much my last post for the whole year and from being the year we had an extra day, I am making honorable mentions to anybody who got to visit this website.

Meaning of Friendship

In times of these seasons, it's just great to be around a loving family or to come back home every year to celebrate Christmas with other kin. It's just a no brain-er! What I'm finding to be pretty extensive is actually being a true friend for someone; I've watched all these movies where actors seem to have great chemistry with each other and get along really well with each other like they're the best of friends. Even if the friendship doesn't look so impeccable on the movie screen, I'm sure if the actors are pretty compatible with each other and click then they'll be staying in touch.

Man, I just listen to people now and no matter how rowdy and annoying stuff I've been hearing now, I just can't really stay mad at the person anymore. I guess people go through these phases where they feel like killing each other, but then decide to drop something by some act and reconcile. Those type of movies are pretty funny to watch like Jingle All the Way. For the holiday cheer and fun, it was actually a movie about two strangers becoming rivals and then becoming enemies of each other so they can compete to win the attention of their child. It obviously favored Arnold Schwarzenegger more and with his pretty ruddy appearance I guess it makes sense with the unyielding spirit he had in obtaining a selfless goal.

Anyhow, the plot shows that Arnold's character got to be the lucky one in the movie no matter how many people would want to claim it's a racist movie. Anyway, Sinbad's character could have been played by anyone and Phil Hartman played a sleazeball too so definitely, there really isn't any sense in calling the movie racist without being unreasonable. I pretty much talked myself out of thinking that movie was being unfair to the black community.

Happy Christmas Eve

Okay, I'm going to let this one out of the bag. I bought a really expensive desktop for my little sister. Since I know she could have been checking up on this blog every once in awhile, now I'm letting it spill because she isn't going to checking my blog anytime soon this whole year. I guess I just know her just like that. We had a little communication breakdown while she was driving me around like a crazy fiend on the wheel. Man, I can't see her driving really well from being distracted about her weird and indecent thoughts. She was conveying some of them with me; man it was torture.

The desktop is pretty much a high i7 pentium model- something of the sort of the model i7 3770. It is decently priced and one of the fastest in the world. Along with other features, it has a 2 TB hard drive and 60 GB SSD, a blu-ray disc burner, 16 GB of RAM, and a 3 GB graphics card. With those types of specs, I would buy it for myself but for this year I decided that it would be best suited to go to my weird little sister. I can just say I'm doing it out of love for her. The desktop is found on the Costco website, even though I drove up to a couple stores to see if they had it- it really has to be ordered online so I paid a little extra for it, but I think for a $1000, it's a bargain and great deal.

It's time for me to wrap up the present and present it to her. That is so cool, I used the same word finally to mean something else in the sentence. Okay, almost done for the year in writing and just in time for Christmas and being home for getting some cornflakes.

Tales In My Life

Right now, I feel like I'm a really bad soul mate to someone. The reason for feeling this way is for these inexplicable, erroneous things about myself. Yet, knowing that I can't meet these perfect standards for this special person; I wish to overlook her flaws, too. It's just coming down to what's going to happen later down the road in our lives. It would be nice to end up settling down with her because of my feelings in thinking she's my soul mate, but it's not a necessary requirement for me. I can at least say we're destined to always be really good friends.

Aside from not really being the jealous type, there are also other women in my life I might have a chance to deal with. Knowing that I can get along with just about any woman now from being upfront with her and providing respect where I think she deserves it, there is a really exciting conflict I have set aside for the purposes of trying to think about it and cool down. It pretty much deals with a group of women about some small personal issue- my thought is that they're just feeling bad about something because they sense that I'm not providing some appreciation for them.

I'm no longer really being challenged for the way I see things now and neither is there really anyone standing in my way at the moment. I can also take some precautions and plan out every sophisticated general moves now to appease the direct concerns I have about revamping my image with those ladies. For the most part, if a man can't really be fully confident about being blunt in his thoughts and feelings to everyone then he's not really worth the hassle in working with. I think women are totally a different topic which I need to continue discovering for myself, and I find it to be really amusing with how I'm going to approach things next year.

So Very Close

I can now sense that I'm not too far from where I personally want to be at now. I'm still falling short in an area from being selfish and choosing to be ignorant about it. I guess sometimes despite the best intentions others try to send out as a message, there are still some elements that could be morally wrong and not good for the soul.

I'm going to make another adjustment to myself, dust myself off by asking for forgiveness from the Lord, and try again with permanently repenting from a selfish area! I guess it's totally lack of judgement and not having enough self-control at times for me. I'm willing to put myself through the same incident now and to work my way out of the situation by showing restraint continuously now. I guess we don't have so much time on this planet to be able to master everything, but I think it would be definitely vital for me to master just this one area that's just keeping me from obtaining personal satisfaction. It's just something I'm feeling and can't really express in words. It's something I need to continuously train myself to be aware of and then to play the right cards. I'm looking forward to the moment again and never losing hope in personally achieving a really humble thing that no one is really going to notice about me.

Approaching End of 2012

I briefly watched the end of a televised documentary about the Mayan calendar, and it pretty much said something about this year being where the center of the Milky Way which is called the Dark Rift will line up with Earth during the Winter Solstice and how we will get to see Venus during an eclipse. Man, that is cool!

It felt a little bone-chilling there for a moment, but I'm pretty excited to see what might happen to this seemingly unchanging world at the end of this year. What the researcher seemed to allude to for me is that the Mayans really based a lot of their religious beliefs based on the structure of the island they lived on. However, their mathematical and astronomical knowledge is so ingenious that I'm sure most of us would have never even sought to go that far out of our own imaginations.

Thinking Onwards

I'm finding out that I just might have an indomitable spirit when it comes to dealing with people. Although it's been awhile now since dealing with some weird people, I see that taking a straight forward approach in life won't really get frowned upon. An example of this is from just watching a T.V. commercial for Kay's Jewelers where a couple pick out a ring they both like at the store and then turns out to be a "perfect" match; afterwards, the man asks the woman to marry her right at the store- it's so straight forward and brought out smiles after discussing it with the women in my household.

I'm just going to do that and hold back nothing even if I'm going through a very weird time. I might as well not hide anything and pay for my immoral sins through reaping consequences now. I can't run from the ultimate judgement that is coming and it's pretty much going to happen to everyone, no matter how scary it sounds. I just made a symbolic remark, which I'm sure most people might have a slight clue of what I'm referring to. Basically to simplify my statement, everybody will pass away someday and hopefully everyone will live a really happy and meaningful life.

Meeting My Soul Mate

This is pretty crazy for me because I think I did meet her from about four years ago. I guess some romance was in the midst of developing but being the person I am, I didn't really pay attention to her. The interesting part is that after all those years passed by, we still remain really good friends after having never kept in touch.

She now has a boyfriend and has been in the relationship for long term so I'm assuming that my chances with her are over now. Some part of me still thinks that she's just procrastinating marriage because maybe she isn't convinced about something in her beau, or maybe she just wants to hold off on marriage for awhile. Anyway, having been pretty convinced that she's my soul mate and being the one who actually communicates with me very well and openly whether by text or in person; I hope she sends me an invite to any wedding like she said she would.

I'm also not very interested in her looks that much either but really care about her inner beauty so much more. When I got to see her after the four years of never hanging out, she is actually pretty hot but I felt so comfortable listening to any concerns she had and having fun hanging out. It's like I could never go wrong with her while being my true self- that's how it really looks like with me. I guess she's the one for me, but I care about her happiness more so this guy she's with makes her happy which she implied with me. I'll just have to wait and see if I find another to settle down with or not and how she ends up later in life.

Pretty Neat

I'm really grateful with a reader base or receiving a fresh amount of new visitors onto this blog. I still consider myself to be really small compared to what others can achieve, but I'm just so content and happy about maintaining this blog even though I might not feel like writing about anything on some days. It's pretty crazy content that I have put up here, and some of it is pretty sneaky and questionable but the good part is that I've limited it to be about having a sense of fun. 

With some of the posts I sort of hate keeping around, looking back at those posts, I'm actually laughing underneath about them now. I've become really comfortable within my own shell and really confident about discussing my beliefs and attitudes and giving reasons even if people are bothered by them! It's just words that convey a meaning, so I believe it's important to let out what you believe out there and eventually, if you make a name for yourself then more people will become accepting of you and start liking you. For some reason, I feel that anti-social people who just hate on my comments or others are left out of the equation now so I might as well just do my thing and let life take its course now. 

Really Cool Profit In Forex

Click to enlarge box

Currently, my swing trading system is giving me really favorable results even if I play a little out of the norm with some currencies at times. It's so far showing itself to be a winning system. Out of just a week in a half of trading, I have banked in a significant amount of profit as well as currently have about 1700 pips in profit with all those currencies. I'm just testing out how big I can mine pips with just about any currency minus the Scandinavian ones- it turns out that I now have over 300 pips on one of them and it's still growing strong. On average, 200 pips is a very decent, long term return. The first one showing in the box above is making itself out to be a risk reward ratio of 1 to 7! That is an insane amount of profit for a week in a half of letting it hang. It also seems like the winning percentage is big enough to stick with this system to make some overall profit. I'm loving it!

I am also currently messing around with a managed Forex account by some day traders who show themselves to be very profitable. It's only in demo mode so that's the best I can do in finding out what they are made of. I think my system might not really be suitable for copying by others because of my suspicions that it would create a bad spike for me in the market. I'm really going to limit my trading to just myself because of its highly inherent and risky nature. However, if a millionaire doesn't care about blowing his or her money and is willing to let me test my system out with no cares of losing just a million then might as well let myself get hired.

Giving Chase

This is something that I want to try out now. I realize that putting my fullest hopes and expectations on people themselves is only going to bring me occasionally disappointment with failures of living up to my views. For the most part, I do love people and I am going to have opponents in life just like everybody else; it just seems like the minority of people try to cause others distress and chaotic worry!

I'm going to put my hopes and expectations on the Lord. I'm going to give chase to God because I have this strong belief in Him. No matter what happens on this world or in my lifetime, I'm still going to believe there is a God up there reigning in heaven. While chasing after God, I'm still going to put my mind on things that appeal to me; just that the fear of the Lord in my heart is going to direct me in the right path that I really wish to go and to appease everything about me.

The hard and tricky part is dealing with the storms in my life and becoming short-sighted. I may become really impatient and emotionally depressed from being extremely bored with where I'm at and then try to live out my life in sinful pleasures. I'm aware of this, so it's a work in progress for me to get cured of my minor turrets syndrome which I feel when I'm extremely bored with life. It happens to me once in awhile when I'm not keeping in check with myself. I have yet to master this patience of struggling emotionally and keep my head up high!

Knowing What I Want

The bad part about knowing what I want is that it also ties in with my moral conscience. I know that sometimes through lack of control and envisioning myself being really happy, I miss out on discerning the negative consequences and make haste. What I feel when I don't give into my desires and wants is a whole lot of depression and boredom at times. These emotions are something I'm just getting tired of having to deal with daily.

Overall, I'm just going to have to find replacements with the use of my conscience where I'll be really happy to invest my time into. It's pretty much myself the whole time, and ultimately; no matter how bad the person I'm bothered with has been to me, I need to just compensate with it. I can't let my desires turn into obsessions that I don't want now and can't get out of. I don't want to lose my senses of decency and propriety while engaging the highly attractive rewards that come out from corroborating in the right areas.

Negative Effects

A negative experience at Hope of God Church in Los Angeles is causing me to avoid going to attending church now. I think they played a role in causing me to stumble. I guess since I realize it, I can't just sit around and mope about it all day now. The issue at hand is that I think attending a great church and being part of a fellowship is very meaningful and such a blessing even for nonbelievers!

It also remains part of my efforts to be consistent and make a commitment to attend. This would mean to be prepared to attend there the night before. It looks like I might have to be planning a week ahead of time and monitoring my actions, thoughts, and feelings leading all the way up to the day I set out to attend an assembling of the body. I'm not putting that much effort into attending church anymore. It's like I'm not really motivated to go, but I know that's it really good for me and I actually enjoy it. It feels like I've entrapped myself from being around highly discouraging people and just myself. However, when the moment comes I feel like I'll be ready to act and be highly decisive while direct without stumbling for a short period of time.

What I'm Trying

This is probably the first year I'm going to purchase my very own Christmas tree. It's going to be a live one and probably going to take some time decorate! I'm probably going to forcibly employ my little sister to do most of the work for me. I just paid for it out of my pocket and that's it. I'm also going to try to put lights up around my home too, which would be pretty fun to do for tradition.

I now have a pretty comfortable earning to buy healthy food and cook. I bought about three cooking books which add up to about 550 recipes, along with the other hundred free recipes I could search for online. I'm looking at only the quick recipes which wouldn't go under an hour for me. I guess since I'm a newbie at cooking, making everything under an hour in the beginning would be acceptable for me and considered fast in my standard. I'm also picking out the ones that would be the most flavorful for me and really healthy!

I'm now thinking about investing my time into my own better health and fitness. I have a job and a pretty comfortable living arrangement at the moment and a really nice currency trading career in the making. I guess there's seriously more to life than what meets the eye. I have realized that there seriously are women out there who just who go after a man with a great personality and elements that just influence him to be more attractive inwardly to the lady. I'm not going to base it on superficial things and look at how beautiful she is on the outside, I'm going to give the beautiful woman on the inside a chance; one of my friend's twin brother has stated that an inwardly beautiful woman is also a rarity to come upon.

Keeping It Open

When it comes to admiring women for me, I'm no longer really that picky now. I used to have a set of visual preferences of the type of girl I would want to end up marrying. I no longer value those shallow things. I have even called one of my friends Shallow Hal because of how he looks at a relationship in being with the best looking girl he could be compatible with. There's one woman he's really into, and I guess she's no fluke because a lot of people are attracted to her. It's the girl who played Lana Lang on WB's Smallville, which is a sci-fi T.V. show about Superman when he was in high school all the way up to donning his famous and colorful tights! The beautiful, Canadian actress Kristin Kreuk does seem to have a great personality. Furthermore, I didn't know she's pretty short; enough to be shorter than me! I guess I'm taller than some larger than life attractive females, like it matters to me now.

I pretty don't care how a woman looks now as long as I can be compatible with her and she has a great personality that pairs up well with mine. This means that there are so many available women out there for me to find the right match for me because I'm not getting delusional about finding the hottest girl out there like other guys. This also means that I don't care if a girl I become attracted to rejects my advances because of the opportunity I see unfolding before my eyes now. From keeping it open, my perspective has broadened in life and I see so many different and positive possibilities that would enrich my life along with boosting the experiences of others. My buddy says that he is after all, Shallow Hal except that he doesn't have a belly. My closest correspondent is so funny sometimes, and I guess what annoys me about him helps me keep things in perspective in life. The people who ran away from me are definitely missing out on what life has to offer- they are closing their minds and limiting themselves which can be very mentally unstable.

Now I Get It

I'm finally seeing that with the people who just act rather withdrawn with me and have personalities that seem to be bothered by me, they are pretty much a lost cause if I can't talk to them anymore. The type of person I am is that I'm not really going to turn away a person with just talking to them. I'm not the kind of guy who likes to run away, but I guess if it's the smart thing to do now then might as well.

Basically, on the pages of my Facebook, from my rough persona or something unappealing, I've been losing a little bit of friends on there. It's pretty funny how they allow me on their profile and then remove me after awhile. Well, they did involve themselves after agreeing to add me in the beginning. They make all these excuses of how they don't want to get involved, a breach of their personal space, or how it was their personal decision. I'm starting to see that it's probably because they're facing some health mental issues with me. For the ones who I can't really reach anymore out of lack of time and really talk to in person, it's pretty much a "See ya!" I sort of understand their dilemma and how they're going to feel a little sheepish and doubtful about their behaviors. I guess I'm not the kind of guy to try to fend off and move on with your life without feeling depressed!

Way To Get In the Door and Stay

This is for the people who have an insatiable desire to do something really bold after a group of anxious and callous people caused the man or woman to feel really upset and wronged over a little incident. I'm going to use the church I had trouble with as my real life example in giving advice of how to do what I'm setting out to do.

For a little background, the church is located in Los Angeles and they have an extremely bad image in my eyes now. It's so bad that even if they were to do good then they would still look corrupted as a whole. The name of the church is Hope of God Church in Los Angeles. They are what people might call a Pentecostal church even though they claim to be non-denominational. Watch out for these types of crazed individuals- they are nice but when the going gets tough, they are going to crack! Right now, the economy is really rough and the church seems to attract very sensitive Chinese and Thai believers. Also, they seem to be roughly outcasts in real life scenarios because they would rather stick to their own kind of believers and not be accepting of other like-minded believers out there.

I managed to be the way I am and get thrown out of their church! It's really funny, and I won't lie how much I've made people laugh over admitting it. They went so far as to even say that they are going to call the cops on me. Here's what makes them look bad and funny for my case- they threw me out after questioning whether I liked a few girls there or not in a relationship sense.

This is the way to stay out of trouble with these types of weird lunatics. Be extremely direct and honest even if you feel it's going to hurt their feelings. Just think that you gave them a chance to wise up and now you're going to reveal something to them they probably never knew. When you sense a lot of isolation and can't blend in with the crowd, this is really important LEAVE the PLACE and then try again the next following week. DON'T communicate what you are going to do with them- keep them guessing. If you can work through the anger and annoyances they feel with you by coexisting with everybody else, then their defense is  eventually going to go down and you will have room to feel the satisfaction of causing them to submit to you. When they act really dumb and neanderthal-like just walk away from them and do your thing while looking like everybody else in the surrounding. It's basically camouflaging yourself to the person and if someone were to call the cops on you like they said, then they are going to look very dumb and get the police officers who respond to the distressed call very angry and upset with the caller. Try it, it works! Be sure above all else to have a great reason for going into the territory of really messed up people and to be brave and ready to give up your life at any given moment of time while around them. Do everything in your power to prevent them to do anything bad to you and know the satisfaction despite what they do, they are always going to have the worst image labeled upon them- give them a sense of a guilt trip; it's the worst possible way and possibly like a nightmare for them but the greatest way to stay in until you decide to leave the establishment.

Getting Consistent With Forex Profit

With this method I put together through doing my way of studying and applying Forex, I saw that in just one trade I quintupled my stop loss which would result in a 10% increase of my account balance! This happened overnight for me and what happens to be the worst month to trade the Forex market for day traders.

Overall, I have amassed 1400 pips from trading all these different currencies while not really getting stopped out in one day. What I have before myself is a system that I'm consistently tweaking. It's something that culminates from two years of study, practice, and looking for the best way to make money in Forex while doing it using my preferences at large. These types of trades can only happen from being a swing trader.

If I can manually bust out these profitable types of trading very consistently on a monthly basis overall and can be really confident in my system then I am going to start trading some currencies. I might allow others to copy my trades for an extra charge but it's something I'll have to think about. Roughly, I'd rather keep this to myself because I don't want to frustrate people if they lose their money in a volatile market at the wrong time. More possibly, if I can be successful at this market then I would prefer to allow successful people with lots of money ranging in the millions who don't mind losing a million dollars (!) to hire me.

Saving My Energy For Expected Conflict

I've been reading up on the Bible and I believe that the context of what a person should and shouldn't do is really based on some precepts, such as loving others and having the best interest in them. Everybody works differently in this area even if I come across as a really rough person to some ultra sensitive girls.

The way I'm seeing that I'm functioning is to just be direct even if it feels like I'm making fun of the person and laughing after saying what I had to say. Basically, I'm just going to full out onslaught honest about everything and not hold anything back with no hold bars. I've watched some movies of how it seems like the protagonist is blackmailing some bad guy about turning him into the cops. If it's really that bad, I'm going straight to the cops without making any warnings!

If I end up getting killed by these losers I'm going to be engaged in a conflict with then well at least I'm happy in my beliefs of where my afterlife will be and I also have made peace with my personal living matters. I'm pretty much ready to go if it needs be even though I'm going to defend myself heavily and apply very painful self-defense tactics on others who just seem to have gone nuts and stupid in their dealings with me.

Little Steps

I'm not really under any get rich quick scheme anymore. I see that it's really more of a gradual process with a big learning curve. I'm just going after what really appeals to me now while researching on the facts. I guess I have always been pretty decent at being this type of person.

Something that I'm starting to question and work at is the idea of growing taller way passed puberty! A lot of people think that it's something genetic which is fine, but there are contradictions that do occur every once in awhile in the world. What I mean is that the parents could be really short but have children that are really tall. It's probably not going to happen that much, but there is this possibility. Therefore, I believe that it's fully not genetic. In addition, ever since I passed my growth spurt I have also managed to literally get an inch taller. Now, I'm working my way to another 1/2 inch while in my late 20's. This makes me feel pretty young and healthy!

I'm going to try out this work out program and see if I could tone down and acquire some ripped abs. I've also ordered some quick and healthy cooking recipe books to try it out. From what I've read, it starts with first eating healthy and then adding in the supplements and exercise; otherwise, it all goes to waste if your body isn't digesting the proper nutrients to build muscle and bone. A lot of things I'm looking at right now is really a long term investment. If I have the time and the right, available lady comes along for me, I'm also going to try to setting down with her now too. All of these things are just so long term and it's something that I'm really excited about doing even though I'm at utmost a nobody in this world.

Weighing In Percentages

Right now, I feel like I have a 100% chance of getting along with any woman and just being friends. With the idea of agreeing to date me, I see it being more like 25% with the ones I'm actually interested in while including the fact she's already dating someone. I guess those aren't really bad odds for me, and it's better than nothing. I'm not going to really work that hard either for getting a woman to go out with me- I'd rather just keep it natural and would want her to just love me for who I am.

One of my friends is pretty much a hit or miss type of person. He believes at the moment that the chance of meeting his soul mate is 0.01%. I basically told him to concur with his family's advice in going back to school and obtaining a degree. Maybe, he'll put himself in the position to meet someone interesting enough to possibly marry someday.

Relaxing More Often

I guess since I'm a natural guy and not married yet, I get these feelings of wanting to be married and affectionate to the wife. Sometimes, I wonder if my emotions in this area are much more stronger than the average person's. Anyhow, after feeling like I wasn't caring about how a woman dressed or appeared for awhile-now, I'm starting to feel a little of that nervousness with the thought of approaching her. I'm also enjoying the feeling a lot more than I used to; it makes me want to laugh inwardly. I guess when I'm chilling with friends, I don't really try to approach women unless I was by myself and felt like I had nothing to lose and was going to deal with all the hardships and mistakes.

I guess I'm just really selective on the people I want to approach directly about being in a relationship. I don't really try to give into that much as I did in the beginning. Now, I'm just curious about the dynamics and I think just trying to discuss it with my love interests would be a decent start. The main thing I do respect is if my crush is already seeing someone then I guess I keep myself from chasing after her. I think I just need to read the body language a little better and see if I can relate to her being compatible with me and then just asking to hang out or something. I guess I don't really care if she's not interested or busy being in love with someone else, and I'm not going to get hurt by it or feel stupid if something wrong happens in the process. One of my buddies is really apprehensive and unsure, I think he just sticks with thinking about all the negatives and potential ugly things that could happen and then just avoids contact. I guess everyone is responsible for setting his or her own path and humbling the self.

Kudos to the Little Guy

Last night, I went to a big party hosted at an airport with some friends. After browsing around and sampling the free delicious food and treats along with the awesome coffee (mmm, so good), we headed towards outside. Along the way, I observed a really small guy whose even shorter than me and he's actually Caucasian! I saw he had big smiles on his face and didn't look that worried about anything but had a look of tremendous confidence. It looked like he was dating a pretty tall woman who was blonde and seemed pretty curvy. Wow, he was also carrying on a conversation or it so seemed like with another couple.

I was really pleased underneath to feel like how that's a sense of accomplishment for the little guy. It makes me wonder how it would be like to date a woman whose a little taller than me. I'm starting to not really care if the girl wears high heels and stands taller than me now, even if she would be shorter than me without them. I'm pretty confident about listening to the woman and not fretting about my personal height issue underneath now. This is such an amazing turn of events for me! I'm so confident and enlightened that I don't even bother to worry about not dating so many really pretty anymore. I just don't see that looks really matter that much to me now. She might still be pretty cute overall, but the appearance isn't such a big deal to me anymore.

I don't care what's on the outside now- I would rather be with someone beautiful on the inside and also is concerned about her health and would be pretty dilligent and be positive about maintaining it if she's not doing so well at the moment. This aspect in a woman who has some health issues such as obesity is a very attractive quality to me.

Trading Update

I'm finding out that I'm only opting to spend about 10-15 minutes reviewing ideas that appeal to me on the Forex market. I think I'm becoming more of an independent trader now, which is pretty cool on top of being able to read a bit faster and more comfortably than I used to. I can see why reading is a very useful skill that everyone should really develop and utilize for someone to go wherever he or she wants to.

Therefore, it seems like a lot of free stuff are out there to put together like a cooking recipe. For once, I'm going to try my hand at actually cooking! I'm a guy so I'm very bad at cooking or that's what I'm already assuming, but nonetheless it's just an analogy that I'm applying to playing with the Forex market. It's like I'm a chef in this market who is preparing his own recipe to make lots of money!

My daily charts that I am now adding are just supplementary adds on top of my primary 4 hour charts which I'm starting to love utilizing. I'm not particularly paying attention to any proper timing of the market- as long as I'm making some pips then that's all I care about! These charts are mainly being used with the major pairs to catch any potentially long term trends but I'm sticking to my 1 to 2 risk reward ratio; I'm basically now an active swing trader and can't go back to day trading. It's just not something I want to do anymore; I'd rather play video games if I had all that free time instead of looking at the market all day.

Feeling Shortsighted

It was really hard for me in college because I was so discouraged by a lot of things. Basically, I looked at everything like how I had only one shot and that if I missed then everything was over for me and there was no way of clawing back up. It was like looking up to perfection as my number one goal. I wanted to look for something that was always a win-win situation where I would never have to suffer a loss.

When I failed to meet these agendas, I became pretty weird and I was so distraught underneath but hell-bent on getting something done with my life. From the occasional shutting down moments and the sure-fire moments of feeling I was on top, these were the days where my life felt like it had its ups and downs.

From the moment I chose to not give into my anger as impetus to the people who were giving me trouble at a church, normally I would have and then they would cease to do anything bad to me, but then I would have remained the same weird person for even longer periods of time; I put myself in the right path of looking at it in the big picture. Now, I don't really take falls much to heart anymore; I'm ready to make peace with my maker already but then again, I'm about working hard to make a living and live a pretty straight forward life while driven to pretty cool and good things in life.

Hanging Out With Females

It's been pretty rare for me to schedule something with a girl. This female is a pretty close friend of mine so I don't mind hanging out with her right after Christmas. She's pretty excited about where we're going, and I told her that it's sponsored by my company. I was interested in pretending we were dating just to see how badly my parents would react. I guess not this time, it's just hanging out.

Actually the first girls I really had a crush on ended up being my Facebook friends. I never really did anything with them but I did talk to them and they were my classmates. It's pretty funny that one of them ended up sitting right in back of me, and boy, I was frustrated with her sometimes and even hurt her feelings. I guess that's the pains of growing up. 

I've been asked out by a girl and ended up hanging out with her but no real magical chemistry happened between the both of us. It was cool though. The first girl who I actually can say I officially dated ended up being one of those rare girls you could only hope to end up with. I guess I consider myself lucky that I had the opportunity to involve myself in it. After all of my physical infirmities from feeling so insecure and unhappy about myself, I see that I was courageous enough to do some feasible normal things with a few girls. Now it's like, I don't care if I'm rejected and I'm just going to straight forward with the women I'm interested in; I guess I'm all grown up now in this area of my life.  

Profit In Forex

The green at the bottom of the screen means that I reached my expected profit level. I ended up with 7 wins that doubled my stop loss so would mean a 4% increase of profit for each trade I made and 3 losses for a loss of two 2% each. Overall, it would hypothetically mean a 22% growth of my balance. My target goal is averaging 20% of growth each month in my account.

I am still testing out the waters and figuring out the kinks of my preferred methods of trading and looking into what these tools could offer me. So far, it's looked pretty promising for me. I have dropped down the third chart to a 30 minute and just look for a moving average crossover to confirm a decent push or rally. I think the third chart is the least meaningful for me but I paid a lot of money for those, so I'm going to stick with it and learn how to use it to maximize my profit. It's pretty much like my security blanket I'm always going to take with me wherever I go in my Forex trading career.

I'm pretty excited about making trades everyday and still this is just a demo account. I'm just enjoying how to be a profitable trader and do it consistently. I am now incorporating trailing stops permanently to my trading repertoire.

Dating Update

Okay, I got close but no cigar this time. Well, the good thing is that I don't seem to really care and won't ever be frustrated. I'm just going to go for searching someone who has plenty of time and seems to be pretty cool with everything about me. I guess it's a little hard because I try to hold back on some things that might make me look really bad.

Before I go out dating, I want to make sure that my heart is totally in the right direction and my mind and body are at the place. While in the process of just looking at things and feeling a little sad over finding some close calls, I'm going to continue improving my physique and economic status. What would be more of a blessing for me would be to find a girl with the right personality type for me and someone who has some similarities with me to be at least a good friend to hang out with. I think my needs are to pretty much have a diverse amount of friends, and I guess I desire to hang out with some cool and unique females right now because I haven't really done that in awhile.

Pretty Simple Approach

I'm going to make this one a post for the guys who are hardhearted and don't care about being rejected. It's basically to just be straight forward and direct and just keep on asking the girls you are interested in for whatever purpose you have in mind. Obviously, I would prefer the guy start with just hanging out and getting to know the pretty girl before everything else.

By being direct and taking an honest approach in an morally appropriate situation, women don't seem to mind just being straight forward back and telling me the reason for being busy very bluntly. Maybe, they don't want to get involved with it, but they are not going to express it right away from trying to be nice. I guess the guy does have an advantage with being able to still lead the conversation in anyway he wants it to take it.

I guess it comes down to how sensitive the guy is and how concerned he is about being rejected by a very beautiful girl. I think one of my friends is concerned about becoming dependent on a girl and getting into doing some madness and controlled by the girl while she's practically so hot. He's also sort of concerned about the girl he wants to be with not liking him at all and never having any more chances. I think he prefers to just dream about the ideal situations rather than trying to pursue it in the real world. Therefore, it makes it hard for me to convince him to change up his game in a positive direction- he's acting like a runaway and cute puppy sitting on the sidelines. I'm probably going to start laughing at him though when he makes rude complaints behind people's back or puts me down from my own efforts because I understand his occasional frustration.

My Way of Competing For Attention

The way I have been scoring dates with pretty attractive women is not even realizing that they are very pretty in the beginning of my interactions with them. Others might find them so pretty but I find their inner beauty is what draws me to them and I seem to be able to find flaws about them in their physical appearance, so it was hard for me to be comfortable about any girl's appearance for me. It's like the perfect appearance isn't there, so now I'm just naturally connecting to the woman's personality.

From what a well-sought after womanizer and lover would say, he mentioned that beauty isn't found in the skin but from having this exuberant confidence in personal body image. I guess you would rather be in love with a person whose really confident and knows what she's about and doesn't make too much of a fuss about how she appears with her partner to others.  

Trying To Get Married

I guess I'm a pretty laid back person and now not afraid of feeling sad about liking a girl whose going to with another nice guy. Even if the guy is pretty abusive and makes me feel mad about the unfairness of how I could treat her better, it seems like I don't have any diseases underneath me to overreact like crazy and in fury. I'm still just going to be friends with her, I hope and see her around.

Being sensitive about these inner issues and things that I have never grown out of has made me realize that I'm still putting up a personal fight to continue living happily. I think the best part of life is learning to compensate and living happily.

Finding A Female Friend

I'm just writing this post because I remember calling up all my female buddies on my phone. I only have about twenty female numbers. I made calls to all of them and even managed to talk to some of them about hanging out. I guess some of them are really cool and the others well, I guess you might need a little more time to think about them.

Basically, something important is coming up and I'm trying to get out of the event because the excuse comes from having a family member attend the event. Since I have a little sister, I tried calling all of them up to pretend to my sister or girlfriend. The cool part is that I scored a little better than the average guy would, and I actually did find a willing person. She must actually be a really nice person or maybe she wants to come across as that type of person- I don't fully know.

Anyway, I told my little sis that I found a replacement for her and she pretty much justified that it would weird for any girl to reject my circumstance and proposition. That is pretty cool! I think I should come up with more of those to put myself on the map of just hanging out with cool females.

Keeping Some Life In Perspective

It seems like the most important things for me in my life is to be a giving person. Currently, I'm trying to buy my sister something pretty expensive and nice for her. Also, for my cousin I'm taking it pretty seriously in helping him acquire some tools to help advance his personal interests and career. Maybe, it's because they are family and I've come to know them that I have also come to have a significant amount of care for them to want to make serving their interests one of my major priorities.

I'm noticing that the women I try to contact are becoming pretty straight forward with me and actually pretty open about what's going on in their life. This is pretty nice because even though I don't really care that much, I can actually see that they are human even though other women I have known claim that girls are just crazy individuals!

I've had some metamorphosis in my life because I seriously don't care about a woman's appearance that much as I do with mine. The only thing that sometimes gets to me consciously but still doesn't really hinder me from socializing is being short. I personally do associate being tall as a wonderful thing, but my body is so compact and strong looking that it seems like I can still intimidate some individuals. It's been an interesting realization of how looks can really be deceiving when fitting in personal interests. Yet, I'm seeing the bigger picture and it seems like a good number of attractive females don't mind me being short or better yet, it seems like they feel a little more elevated about themselves with the defined confidence I display socially.

Keeping Things Real

Sometimes, I feel really well connected with what I'm about to put on this site at other times like right now, I don't know what I'm necessarily digging myself into. Yet, I'm sort of treating this blog like a chore for me in that I'm just using it as a personal tool to encourage myself to be a better person. I remember maybe last year, I kept on writing that I was going to rewording the same thing over and over again which probably made me lose some repeat visitors. The funny thing for me is that I'm not really receiving any complaints or encouragement from other people in the world for my artistic direction.

When I am straight forward, it seems like I just get to voice my opinion very comfortably without anyone really bugging me about it or siding with me. I think people in general have depressing issues underneath that they try to resolve but can't really fully make something about it. I'm learning that anyone can be possessed with pride also, even Special Ed. students and that they can make all these boisterous statements about themselves while feeling great, even if it annoys others. In a way, it's showing off while being personally deceived about what the person actually is.

I'm just glad the guy whose been joking about how great he is in life while lying at the same time that he isn't joking, has finally mentioned that he knows he isn't the best. I told him a story which totally contradicts his beliefs and he came to believe it. He's sort of chauvinistic and so with my direct approach with telling this story about how a small woman successfully fulfilled a man's role made him so flabbergasted that he couldn't block it out as truth.

Trying To Forget Less

Right now, I'm not really writing that much because I think I'm a little rusty with my eloquence and feel little lost with my direction. I guess creating a dependable routine for myself might actually be beneficial for me. This is something that I am going to need to try.

I'm just kicking back right now and have so many side entertaining goals in mind, but I seem to be pushing them off to side while being in favor of bigger priorities. The cool thing is that I seem to laugh a lot about my own audacity these days and seem to be very peaceful inwardly about it.

Writing Less

My mind doesn't really feel so active right now, and it's probably because I'm putting my mind on other things that I supposedly would want to do. Right now, I'm finding that I have a lot of time and that it feels like extended hours into my weekend. It's pretty nice, but at the same time it sort of does make sense for me.

I wonder if there's any club for me to join on Monday mornings because it seems like that's when I'm the most wide awake and available to do things. It's like at the beginning of the week, I'm charged up to begin something.

Trying To Hang Out More

I guess writing on this blog has helped me develop plenty of confidence when it comes to texting women. The funny part is that I feel like a girl when I am writing to them now. I just feel like the transition that is taking place feels really feminine for some reason- I guess I try to adapt into their level of speech and sort of understand what they are trying to convey.

The fun part about it is that there's no need to feel so anti-social through being nervous about something. I guess when that part of you comes out and others sort of sense that insecurity then it's going to mean to them that something is wrong with you and then they might just ban you from their life!