Managing Letdowns

I'm pretty fortunate that I haven't been hurt too bad over some incidents except for feeling really crushed, frustrated, and sad over perceiving I became rejected. All of that is now funny for me, and I do realize that girls are sensitive too and will try to let you down easy because they don't want to look like the bad guy, unless you make them really mad over some things.

The female emotion can get really overwhelming for the girl when a guy is pursuing after her. Some dumb guys like my buddy's brother don't get it when the girl is saying no to him and will jump to the conclusion that she's interested in him right away when he perceives a positive, happy moment over something accesory to a relationship. He even describes every encounter with only the positives and leaves out the bad things because he doesn't want to be laughed at and feels that he has a trump card which is the constellation prize of feeling their hands and arms. He only talks about that and he hasn't had a successful relationship and not even dated anyone yet. No one is helping him because his brother and I are like the only ones who really can support his decisions; I'm not supporting him and will never resort to doing it- I strongly believe that he's got to make everything happen on his own, no matter how many challenges he is facing.

I think a lot of timid male friends I know have an issue with facing a possible letdown head up; they have a fear of rejection and haven't made a strong commitment yet to puruse after a stable and lasting relationship. Like my married friend says, the worst they can say to you is "No." Meaning that you still have time to yourself to do other things to distract yourself with like working out or doing something you like in your personal time. I was depressed the whole time from never fully reaching in my gut to ask some girls out; I started out with girls I wasn't fully interested in and a few of them actually gave a bite and that's where I realized that they're doing it to be a good friend. I later found that I'm actually interested in those girls who went out with me, and I find them to be really cute and attractive in a way too, but I'm definitely okay with being a good friend; it feels nice to be in that position also. Maybe, one of these days, as I get more information from a girl I decide to hang out or date more often with, I'll want to form a relationship with her and maybe, we'll be able to hit it off and end up being just another married couple.

Overall, it feels like a natural process that just comes together all of a sudden and whoever you end up with, is something you are going to have to work out and deal with. The personality and flaws of a person you marry can cause a ripple effect and come crashing down if you don't manage the relationship and communicate effectively.