For the sinful man that I am and how I so relate to others in this world who are in similar boats, I've these two verses to be most helpful for me if I can remember them right now. I might have forgotten the second one by now after having written the first one.
Basically, it says to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and then all these things shall be added onto you. (Matthew 6:33)
I remember a Jewish psychiatrist telling me that he ripped out the whole book of Matthew. I thought it was funny to mention because that verse comes from that book. He was probably mad about the whole ideas centered around Jesus in that book. I was really helpless to say anything at the time because he was treating me for temporarily hearing voices that were accusing me of being gay and constantly asking to come out and play with them.
As one can see, I'm not really so paranoid about things after going through that period of my life. It lasted about three years in my teenager years. I think I was so depressed from getting bad grades and alienated myself from friends and the world. In the Japanese and Korean culture (I am full Korean blood), some students will commit suicide from feeling they shamed their family after failing an entrance exam. I heard a very smart girl who got into an Ivy League school do the same thing after being depressed from scoring really low on her IQ test. Those kids were probably just incredibly depressed from having this performance driven attitude. This need to impress others from succeeding when they wanted it so badly.
So yeah, I've toughened up and I'm part of the super low 30% success rate from facing a psychological meltdown. I don't really care about revealing this part of myself and it's very scary actually to talk about with others. I feel chills coming down my bones because of those voices telling me to come out and play with them. I told them to shut up by the way and took that medication that deactivated them permanently. I missed them like a weirdo for a brief period afterwards. That's where I really sought out talking to real people in this world and making friends and getting to know Jesus better.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
