I feel like I'm ripping myself off from masturbating to porn for the sake of edging. I think it would be better to have a hot wife who wanted sexual activity a lot first. Maybe some would think she's a curse, but I think it make the marriage a lot more healthier and creative with the different ways of expressing love making. I've had to learn something hard while swallowing my pride though. It's really having an open mind to different possibilities while accepting myself through laughing about being so short compared to the guys that I believe most hot ladies would want to marry for their physical attributes.
I'm also laughing now about myself being led to the possible predicament of a wedding ceremony. I think my best man might be another short guy too! Maybe I could let my presiding pastor be an over-towering minister who is still single to wed us just for fun. I don't know, but I'll just make the most of it while laughing about feeling some shortcomings. It feels a lot more assuring from having laughs like that and it also helps you stay happy and healthy emotionally. Maybe this is one of the many possible applications for why some interesting and hot girls like to laugh and are attracted to funny guys. It's also obvious to me that they want a guy they are attracted with to also show they are genuinely interested in them and later down the road, if she ends up falling for him to tie the knot.
I guess instead of living the average guy's routine with high ego issues and big appetite for sex, it would be better to go after a first-rate Christian life. It probably doesn't make sense to some people, but for me I see the long term benefits with it. It just feels a whole lot better and relief to be able to do so. The mind is able to stay calm when a crisis comes around and to genuinely be a helpful person to someone who desperately needs it. It's just from out of love, but there are also those devils out there who might be concealing their interests and depressed. From knowing who the person is, I guess it comes down to consulting with the Word of God for proper application in that situation.
I'm a born leader and it's all thanks to my Napoleon complex! I am the initiator and the one who encourages the pack of other deserving leaders. While I try to reason with the Lord, I'm now very comfortable about my sexuality. It's full-on straight! If the first-rate life isn't what I'm getting, then I might as well just suffer and go for living as intended and how it could have been even if I don't have it. I'll be a sad monkey but it can't be that bad because I have the Word of God to consult and lots of praying I could do to complain to the Lord. It's basically living in the truth and trying to deceive oneself about it is a sin and ripping yourself off. It's just not worth it to me anymore.
With my work and play application, I'm going to try a new model which is finding pleasure in my work. That will be my reward then, from just working at something I'm interested in doing. At the same time, take breaks by meeting up with people and doing other stuff and not fretting if they are unable to meet my requests.
Since I take on enjoying video games, playing MTG a lot, and watching cool shows, I might as well just take on a form of hard work that's an attempt to earn money so I'll also be able to balance out that love I have for it. I'm going to try this model which is finding pleasure through working hard to gain money for it. I'll be looking for some paid gigs later down the road with my knack for playing the piano.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
