Crazy Weekend

Well, I ended up hiking with one of my friends who is cute, sweet, and actually sort of hot. She's one of my friend's older sister. I guess it would be really hard to admit that I don't really feel anything romantic with her if she did ask. I'd have to play around a little bit and be like, yeah, I'm into her in a way that doesn't seem to matter. I hope she doesn't read these comments and come up to me and then punch me.

We relate to each other in a really good way and I accept her as family. I didn't really feel stuck with her because I don't really mind being around her cute presence and people assuming we're dating. I'm actually really nonchalant underneath and on my outer appearance, I just play it naturally and very comfortable with socializing. I don't even care if others interact with her too.

She sees me like a big brother and I hope she still does because I actually like being seen as the big brother you can look up to. I messed up entirely this whole weekend with her because I led her into a really long and unintentional 30-mile hike at a mountain. Man, it sucked to take a wrong turn and guess my way and not have signs to help us out for miles. After that it became dark and I had no camping gear, so we wandered in the dark wilderness trail while hallucinating about demonic images from looking at dark and scary fallen trees.

Yeah, I was going to think that we were going to hike all night long so we wouldn't freeze to death until we made our way to exiting the park or meet some day people. She started complaining about being so hungry and tired. I was like calm and optimistic all the way through, but yeah, it did get a little annoying to see her play on her phone and take photos of the demonic looking trees and then the city light we saw and it looked like she was having a good time. She thought in case we die, she should document everything especially with Halloween coming up. I was a little annoyed in general and she gave me her phone to hang onto but I gave it back because she saw something she liked and just wanted to take a photo of it.

We came across a camp fire and that state park doesn't really allow it. We just got lucky and we navigated our way through from me listening to her reasoning and going against my stupid optimism. The camp people were nice and we stayed there until morning and they had the map and I was tired so I slept on the cold ground next to the fire pit. Man the fire felt good on my cold feet. I stole my friend's blanket too because I had on shorts. She was freezing even with two sweaters on that they gave her. She fed the fire for me because she kind of was jealous that I was sleeping good. She knew I was going to drive back while she would continue to suffer with her insomnia.

During the coldest part of the night, she made me wake up to feed the fire. She was dead tired. I was walking around the blanket wrapped around my body like a towel while looking for wood. She then fell asleep, so I tended to the fire. She woke up like a zombie again after twenty minutes went by. Anyway, we had some interesting discussions and I shared a lot of my thoughts with her like the people I like. She kept talking about her unofficial boyfriend and I had to do something with them breaking up. Man, I thought it was straight forward but I texted her love interest something that concerned me with her because she kept talking about how she was bothered by liking this guy she is dating so much but wants to make her career her first priority. I unintentionally texted him with a tone that he didn't like because obviously he was mad that he wasn't getting any after two months of dating. They had a civilized argument and then they both just walked out on each other. He ran back to her though during our hike and the dumb guy shouldn't have texted her twice because the first time was strong but the second was like "What?" because he sounded so weak. She was sharing these things with me. She's like family and so in the end, yeah I like her and she's in my family. I definitely care about her and thought that text that made her unofficial boyfriend mad was all focused on her, but he thought I made fun of him. I didn't mean to sound that way, so I'm going to have to let him know that I was really focusing all on her happiness. Especially me revealing to him that she likes him a lot should have been enough to accept the problem I was trying to tell him that she's all about work first and pushing off love.  I was only suggesting that he be more subtle about expressing his romantic desires right now, but I couldn't find a way to explain that my suggestion with him working on getting a great career was to just pass the time waiting on her.