Okay, so from yesterday, I ended up playing poker and doing some trades. I can see that I have a lot of work to do with honing my trading style. It's not a walk in the park and anyone who wants to listen to me is going to have the hardest time in the world, if I do end up making money with this strategy. Therefore, I'm not going to discuss it.
With the poker, I think I should put that hold and make two other things my priority. With time being a factor because I just get plain tired and knock out, I guess I can make some time for friends every once in awhile. In addition to that, it would be nice to read the Bible nightly and also work out. Trading is cool and lastly I just want to start cooking. This is pretty much how I'm going to go about my busy business.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Just Having A Laugh
Basically, I really don't care what that person is going through and for giving the most stupid advice in the world! I followed and sunk lower than a blown-up ship in the bottom of the sea. It was stupid to follow that person's advice because I didn't know what I was doing. I was like any advice would be better as long as it doesn't involve me doing any crimes against another person and hurting myself.
Well the advice I took was stupid because it didn't make me happy. I guess that's my reason for calling those people who can't add me on Facebook still to this day stupid.
Well the advice I took was stupid because it didn't make me happy. I guess that's my reason for calling those people who can't add me on Facebook still to this day stupid.
Projected Bickering
I'm predicting that it's going to be really stupid to bring up a person not adding me on Facebook in person. I'm probably going to do it only because I'm so mad about it. I don't care that I am mad about it and will make fun of that person to add me on Facebook and everybody else who wants to back up that person and say it's that person's fault. So yeah, I would say for everybody else to stay out of my way or encourage that person to add me on Facebook.
Moving Forward
It's not really a big deal, but I get that I suck at my work except when it comes down to programming a computer. I'm actually not that bad at it and it seems like I'm the only one at my company who can actually code!
Yeah well, computer science was my major and I put a lot of time into learning how to program while I suffered with a learning disability. I basically had one only because I was bored with studying in general and played video games all day long while in school. It was when it turned like 8 pm on the night before it was due that I felt bad about not doing my programming assignments and where I learned to make shortcuts to create programs that work. It was very stressful to do everything last minute, but to make it work though and all on my own without cheating and in that short span of time, yeah I guess I'm meant to make my living as a programmer then.
Yeah well, computer science was my major and I put a lot of time into learning how to program while I suffered with a learning disability. I basically had one only because I was bored with studying in general and played video games all day long while in school. It was when it turned like 8 pm on the night before it was due that I felt bad about not doing my programming assignments and where I learned to make shortcuts to create programs that work. It was very stressful to do everything last minute, but to make it work though and all on my own without cheating and in that short span of time, yeah I guess I'm meant to make my living as a programmer then.
Catch Up Post
A
big
cat-like,
dirty
Englishman
formed
good,
hungry,
interesting,
jocular,
and I give up...
big
cat-like,
dirty
Englishman
formed
good,
hungry,
interesting,
jocular,
and I give up...
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Feeling Liberated
These days I'm more or less understanding my anger with the hopeless Hope of God church in LA. Just because they wear T-shirts to show their unity doesn't mean that they are one with each other inside their own hearts. Just because they look happy doesn't mean that they are all dainty and nice inside like some people think they are. They are just people who also happen to suck! It's just my opinion that I want to personally laugh about and invite others to laugh along with me.
Yeah, like how some crazy girls felt liberated from taking off their clothes to pose in a manner for a magazine that attracts stupid men who think about sex, I feel liberated from writing while being my open ended self. I have some sort of self-discipline while taking care with wanting to be nice. I lose it easily though from being offended when others raise their voices at me. Actually, now that I think about it. It's actually funny to be yelled at by a person who lost it. I'm mad because I want to get along and they are making it so hard for me!
I guess I should show off my raw emotions of anger that is all about being friends on Facebook literally! It's silly and funny and not that big of a deal for me. The other person is just stupid while being mad. I've had so much time to take care of the situation and think hard about what is driving me insane. I was diagnosed with bipolar at one point from being borderline schizophrenic. Actually, it got really close because the people's voices in my head were like closing in on making me think they were real. I was even having conversations with them of basically saying, "Shut up!" with every sentence in my head.
Yeah, from having that tough time I got out of it from finding my miracle pill. I think I took risperadal and know for sure that I took prozac. What I hated about prozac in the past then might actually be useful for a decent sex life now that I think about it. I don't remember actually. I just recall episodes that lasted for a whole day and man it was treacherous. To get out of it, man what a relief and so happy and give thanks to God! That's why I believe in and will refuse to let go of Jesus no matter what. Even if Muslim terrorists want to chop off my head, I'm saying that Allah sucks and Jesus rocks. I'll be like YEAHHHH!!! I'll try to make them laugh though and feel bad about chopping my head off. Best I could do for everybody else after me.
It's been almost 18 years already. I've recovered from bipolar/schizophrenia in just three months of that period long time ago thanks to the medication and wonderful talk therapy. I asked my psychiatrist, "How do you talk?" in those sessions and he would just start laughing and stay quiet with me. I even recently made the stupid people who decided to get mad and hate on me at that hopeless "Hope of God" look stupid. It's so funny that they can't add me again on Facebook after having deleted me and that's what I'm still mad about after all these years. Yeah they are uptight and paranoid and self-centered to the point that I don't care about it because what I want isn't that big of a deal to begin with, so anyone who does that will look dumb if I approach it from this angle.
Yeah, like how some crazy girls felt liberated from taking off their clothes to pose in a manner for a magazine that attracts stupid men who think about sex, I feel liberated from writing while being my open ended self. I have some sort of self-discipline while taking care with wanting to be nice. I lose it easily though from being offended when others raise their voices at me. Actually, now that I think about it. It's actually funny to be yelled at by a person who lost it. I'm mad because I want to get along and they are making it so hard for me!
I guess I should show off my raw emotions of anger that is all about being friends on Facebook literally! It's silly and funny and not that big of a deal for me. The other person is just stupid while being mad. I've had so much time to take care of the situation and think hard about what is driving me insane. I was diagnosed with bipolar at one point from being borderline schizophrenic. Actually, it got really close because the people's voices in my head were like closing in on making me think they were real. I was even having conversations with them of basically saying, "Shut up!" with every sentence in my head.
Yeah, from having that tough time I got out of it from finding my miracle pill. I think I took risperadal and know for sure that I took prozac. What I hated about prozac in the past then might actually be useful for a decent sex life now that I think about it. I don't remember actually. I just recall episodes that lasted for a whole day and man it was treacherous. To get out of it, man what a relief and so happy and give thanks to God! That's why I believe in and will refuse to let go of Jesus no matter what. Even if Muslim terrorists want to chop off my head, I'm saying that Allah sucks and Jesus rocks. I'll be like YEAHHHH!!! I'll try to make them laugh though and feel bad about chopping my head off. Best I could do for everybody else after me.
It's been almost 18 years already. I've recovered from bipolar/schizophrenia in just three months of that period long time ago thanks to the medication and wonderful talk therapy. I asked my psychiatrist, "How do you talk?" in those sessions and he would just start laughing and stay quiet with me. I even recently made the stupid people who decided to get mad and hate on me at that hopeless "Hope of God" look stupid. It's so funny that they can't add me again on Facebook after having deleted me and that's what I'm still mad about after all these years. Yeah they are uptight and paranoid and self-centered to the point that I don't care about it because what I want isn't that big of a deal to begin with, so anyone who does that will look dumb if I approach it from this angle.
Being Single
Honestly, I don't think it matters in the end with life whether a person gets married or not and has kids. I personally believe marriage should come from finding the right person. What I mean by right is that the person also thinks you are the right person too and this is while from just being yourself. From finding that this girl I've been hanging with has some annoying stuff about her and she's basically hot stuff, I guess this is my conclusion that I just don't care about wanting some action right away with a gorgeous woman with a physically attractive looking body.
I think having sex in marriage with the right person would seriously mean a very deep and intimate connection and something that could like last for ages if no one had to get out of bed! Just being pretty isn't enough for me now. I really do like a woman who is genuinely nice! I also can't stand dating a chubby girl who complains about things and accepts her situation without showing that much interest with changing it. I went out with a chubby girl and she was taller than me and white and didn't care that I was short. I was an Asian and super hot guy to her I guess. She was limping all over the place with an injury and it just annoyed me. It also annoyed me that she was nagging with her cute voice about how her roommate sucks. It also annoyed me to hear her talk about her past sex life while still being chubby. I was like okay no way!
She's a really smart lady though and very energetic about my Asian culture. This is a positive about her, but overall, I can't really stand it with the thought of dating her so I didn't return her calls or messages to me. I don't really count it as an actual date and go about feeling lonely like I never found anybody to date. My friend was basically saying about her, only "She's fat."
I showed my friend a picture of the hot friend I'm great friends with and he was like going "hubba hubba" for her and was saying that he would do everything he can to try to have a chance with her. I basically shot him down because it's the truth and he just didn't care that much and would probably still try if I ever introduced her to him. I'll think about it though because he's never been on an actual date with anybody. I've been on some and that's because I had some guts to accept the depression that comes from being turned down. I'm of course over that stage and don't care if a girl doesn't like me for a relationship. I can even stay friends with her. I value friendships with beautiful and smart ladies so much!
I think having sex in marriage with the right person would seriously mean a very deep and intimate connection and something that could like last for ages if no one had to get out of bed! Just being pretty isn't enough for me now. I really do like a woman who is genuinely nice! I also can't stand dating a chubby girl who complains about things and accepts her situation without showing that much interest with changing it. I went out with a chubby girl and she was taller than me and white and didn't care that I was short. I was an Asian and super hot guy to her I guess. She was limping all over the place with an injury and it just annoyed me. It also annoyed me that she was nagging with her cute voice about how her roommate sucks. It also annoyed me to hear her talk about her past sex life while still being chubby. I was like okay no way!
She's a really smart lady though and very energetic about my Asian culture. This is a positive about her, but overall, I can't really stand it with the thought of dating her so I didn't return her calls or messages to me. I don't really count it as an actual date and go about feeling lonely like I never found anybody to date. My friend was basically saying about her, only "She's fat."
I showed my friend a picture of the hot friend I'm great friends with and he was like going "hubba hubba" for her and was saying that he would do everything he can to try to have a chance with her. I basically shot him down because it's the truth and he just didn't care that much and would probably still try if I ever introduced her to him. I'll think about it though because he's never been on an actual date with anybody. I've been on some and that's because I had some guts to accept the depression that comes from being turned down. I'm of course over that stage and don't care if a girl doesn't like me for a relationship. I can even stay friends with her. I value friendships with beautiful and smart ladies so much!
So Excited
I'm really excited with the tools I found for trading Forex and its usefulness in applying the strategy. It works for me and is just complicated for me to teach anybody. Why bother telling what it is because it's a competition out there? I'd rather keep my mouth shut about making income as a swing trader.
On top of this, I can really see myself being successful at this line of work. I can even see myself pulling in around $100,000 per year playing online poker now and it won't be gambling with a whole amount of money either. I guess betting around $800 for about ten hours a week isn't that much for me. Yeah, it's enough to make the six figures from doing my math and checking out the competition. What's setting me up is that I just plain don't care with losing that much now. I have a decent job to be able to pull this type of income and I do want to have my independence while working a lot less.
I'll even be trying to legally cut taxes by like putting expenses into different savings and charities to do tax write offs. If I could work with a great accountant then that would be great. I even heard that a lot of tax benefits go into declaring yourself as a corporation and all the losses that go from trading currencies or stocks can be counted as a tax write-off with the income tax. This is awesome knowledge to go after doing while going off on my own to do my thing.
On top of this, I can really see myself being successful at this line of work. I can even see myself pulling in around $100,000 per year playing online poker now and it won't be gambling with a whole amount of money either. I guess betting around $800 for about ten hours a week isn't that much for me. Yeah, it's enough to make the six figures from doing my math and checking out the competition. What's setting me up is that I just plain don't care with losing that much now. I have a decent job to be able to pull this type of income and I do want to have my independence while working a lot less.
I'll even be trying to legally cut taxes by like putting expenses into different savings and charities to do tax write offs. If I could work with a great accountant then that would be great. I even heard that a lot of tax benefits go into declaring yourself as a corporation and all the losses that go from trading currencies or stocks can be counted as a tax write-off with the income tax. This is awesome knowledge to go after doing while going off on my own to do my thing.
Uh Oh
I've been so busy at work and then just tired after dinner. It's still the same old gradually shutting down while feeling disoriented and really tired. My mind is like saying get up and go work out and then there's a whole bunch of other stuff in my mind. Then, I just surf the web and do something random. Well, I guess that's how it is for me so far.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
Importance of Right Timing
This is something that I fail to constantly live up to and that's acknowledging how porn won't ever be the perfect substitute for sex and leave me staying as a virgin. I'm not paying for sex that I could get for free in a great marriage! I have a firm belief to meet the right person and marry before having sex. Even with how good I know it would feel and wanting to have fun like that with a fun woman who I'm married to already but not yet, I guess I'm just going to take the punches that life throws at me.
I just don't care anymore with being friends to girls who I happen to like and are already in relationships that seem like they aren't heading to engagement anytime soon. I just don't really care anymore from a personal view but I do have so many butts. It's no good in my opinion if they have been sexually active without being married, but I'm not one to criticize people for a common sin. I mean I still love them as people and great friends, so just having that feels great for me.
I just don't care anymore with being friends to girls who I happen to like and are already in relationships that seem like they aren't heading to engagement anytime soon. I just don't really care anymore from a personal view but I do have so many butts. It's no good in my opinion if they have been sexually active without being married, but I'm not one to criticize people for a common sin. I mean I still love them as people and great friends, so just having that feels great for me.
Happy Thanksgiving
There's really not much planned for me except that my closest friends who invited me over to their place to a Thanksgiving party are three girls. Hey it's not bad!
Okay, in light of Harvey Weinstein's sexual misconduct activity, I'm glad to say that I was nothing like that to Oyuri who was replying to me on Facebook saying that I was stalking her and harassing her just by messaging her on there. I should have just been honest with her but I persisted to bugging her because she made me so mad from making those comments. I just wanted to bag on her at that point and I was trying to be nice because I wanted like to look a goody two shoe to myself just to make myself feel great and better than her. I just kept on feeling angry with her and just wanted to trash talk with her but I was holding that in and constantly writing scary replies to her that made no absolute sense and was going nowhere.
From taking a full honest approach, I feel like I became a brave man! Imagine I was my full self talking. There's a part of me that's just ashamed of myself to reveal to the world. I don't want to glorify myself over it because it could seem like that, so I will refrain from talking about my sexual frustrations. I'm still straight after all these times and even feeling nothing for looking at great looking guys. I just don't feel anything for them but can tell they look good and I want to be good looking too like that and have confidence that makes me instantly look like a great guy and hooks several available girls to giving me their numbers and open to hanging out.
Okay, in light of Harvey Weinstein's sexual misconduct activity, I'm glad to say that I was nothing like that to Oyuri who was replying to me on Facebook saying that I was stalking her and harassing her just by messaging her on there. I should have just been honest with her but I persisted to bugging her because she made me so mad from making those comments. I just wanted to bag on her at that point and I was trying to be nice because I wanted like to look a goody two shoe to myself just to make myself feel great and better than her. I just kept on feeling angry with her and just wanted to trash talk with her but I was holding that in and constantly writing scary replies to her that made no absolute sense and was going nowhere.
From taking a full honest approach, I feel like I became a brave man! Imagine I was my full self talking. There's a part of me that's just ashamed of myself to reveal to the world. I don't want to glorify myself over it because it could seem like that, so I will refrain from talking about my sexual frustrations. I'm still straight after all these times and even feeling nothing for looking at great looking guys. I just don't feel anything for them but can tell they look good and I want to be good looking too like that and have confidence that makes me instantly look like a great guy and hooks several available girls to giving me their numbers and open to hanging out.
Sunday, November 19, 2017
Found My Opportunity, Happy
I have something that I feel really happy about pursuing and it's going to keep me busy. I'm not going to be anybody famous obviously and behind the scenes. I'm going to be one of those people who look like a nobody and really short.
I'm going to be running my side business and going after being successful with it. I know what I want to do now and it's no big deal because I have such big plans for accomplishing my own personal hobbies like trying to make my own super bad video game or put a band together to support my cheesy five minute song I wrote while playing my piano.
I think I could house my mentally sick friend and hang with her. Heck she used to be really cute and pretty too before she just started letting loose with herself. I don't mind working out with her and doing some fun exercises in a creative fashion. I don't even care if she doesn't want to settle with me in the end. I just like her period and while on her mentally sick episodes, I just think of her as a friend. It doesn't matter because I'll find someone I like a lot and eventually settle with loving her and she'll be the same and we'll live happily ever after. That's the cheesy story that I'm sure a lot of people want in this world. I think I'll go after the cutest and nicest girl I can find who will make me feel like my wants to melt and she'll feel the same way for me. I guess that's what it means with finding the right match. It just comes down to actively seeking for it. I actually finally did acquaint myself with a cute and nice girl I do want to date and she's my friend that I can hang out with. She's open to hanging out whenever she isn't busy so it's been cool! It's just that I feel like her interests are not the same with mine, so I think that could be an issue. Okay, the cutest and nicest girl I can get who matches up with my interests!
I personally have my eyes open for it and for it to come into place, I'm going to need to be able see her conveniently to make it work. It can't just be some random thing and try to hit it off for me.
I'm going to be running my side business and going after being successful with it. I know what I want to do now and it's no big deal because I have such big plans for accomplishing my own personal hobbies like trying to make my own super bad video game or put a band together to support my cheesy five minute song I wrote while playing my piano.
I think I could house my mentally sick friend and hang with her. Heck she used to be really cute and pretty too before she just started letting loose with herself. I don't mind working out with her and doing some fun exercises in a creative fashion. I don't even care if she doesn't want to settle with me in the end. I just like her period and while on her mentally sick episodes, I just think of her as a friend. It doesn't matter because I'll find someone I like a lot and eventually settle with loving her and she'll be the same and we'll live happily ever after. That's the cheesy story that I'm sure a lot of people want in this world. I think I'll go after the cutest and nicest girl I can find who will make me feel like my wants to melt and she'll feel the same way for me. I guess that's what it means with finding the right match. It just comes down to actively seeking for it. I actually finally did acquaint myself with a cute and nice girl I do want to date and she's my friend that I can hang out with. She's open to hanging out whenever she isn't busy so it's been cool! It's just that I feel like her interests are not the same with mine, so I think that could be an issue. Okay, the cutest and nicest girl I can get who matches up with my interests!
I personally have my eyes open for it and for it to come into place, I'm going to need to be able see her conveniently to make it work. It can't just be some random thing and try to hit it off for me.
Super Excited
There's really not much I can do if something is not going to go my way. Like I remember seeing a tall girl smile at me while working out at the gym, I should have just said hi to her because she seemed friendly. Well, who cares making another random friend would be fun if possible. I don't care anymore about being really short. If a girl rejects me because I'm short or I come across as a jerk with a short man complex, I don't really care anymore!
If I can find myself to be comfortable while digging someone like I am in the process of doing with a mentally sick friend right now, then I guess there can be open possibilities. I don't really feel discriminated upon and I do have a sense of humor like getting my shots blocked by tall people while playing basketball. I imagine that in my head a lot while around them and practicing at the gym. I just laugh it off silently to myself. I'll find a way hopefully to excel at the game at an amateur level.
If I can find myself to be comfortable while digging someone like I am in the process of doing with a mentally sick friend right now, then I guess there can be open possibilities. I don't really feel discriminated upon and I do have a sense of humor like getting my shots blocked by tall people while playing basketball. I imagine that in my head a lot while around them and practicing at the gym. I just laugh it off silently to myself. I'll find a way hopefully to excel at the game at an amateur level.
What I Come To Believe
I don't fully understand the Holy Bible King James style, but I have come to believe that it is the source to true happiness. Everything contained in that book has wisdom on how to live a great life while worshiping Jesus, which is what I'm sure quite a lot of people might not be interested in!
Yeah with all of these fake Jesus people and some people you thought were good disappointing you like hypocrites, yeah it's easy to walk away from this faith and just treat it as another religion. It seems like the western culture is trying to be more tolerant about everyone's beliefs and common religious systems, even though there are probably some passive aggressive organizations out there which would want to wipe out all traces of religion in general from thinking that it is stupid or ignorant.
I guess for whatever cause or reasons, I'm personally sticking to my convictions and that should never be looked upon as a crime. Like a person believing aliens will come abduct us from outer space shouldn't be locked up from feeling that way. It's just inhumane to force people to think a certain way that feels better suited to someone else.
Yeah with all of these fake Jesus people and some people you thought were good disappointing you like hypocrites, yeah it's easy to walk away from this faith and just treat it as another religion. It seems like the western culture is trying to be more tolerant about everyone's beliefs and common religious systems, even though there are probably some passive aggressive organizations out there which would want to wipe out all traces of religion in general from thinking that it is stupid or ignorant.
I guess for whatever cause or reasons, I'm personally sticking to my convictions and that should never be looked upon as a crime. Like a person believing aliens will come abduct us from outer space shouldn't be locked up from feeling that way. It's just inhumane to force people to think a certain way that feels better suited to someone else.
Something To Gain With Happiness
It looks like the truth is that it's pretty much the norm to suffer emotionally in this world. Probably from having gone through it so many times, maybe it just causes this feeling of numbness and lack of interest after awhile. What I come to deduce out of it is that it's going to take time with actively seeking out something and then when the right moment pops up, it's something you can just settle on.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
No Big Deal
It's actually not really a huge problem anymore with the dumb people who were mad at me. I was having trouble communicating with them because I was just shy to open up and out of that they just let paranoid thoughts turn into something real for them. It was totally unjustified and crazy, but I guess it's funny now because in the end, all I wanted was for them to be my Facebook friends!
It's funny because what I'm requesting is not such a big deal and they just want to be so uptight about it for whatever reasons. It shouldn't be a big thing for them to do, but they want to just yell and scream out of frustration to leave them alone. Oh well, they just have issues about something and I don't really care. They were being crazy overall by making it seem bigger than it really was and after all these years, that was mainly the basis of my conflict with them. They don't know it of course because I wasn't sharing that with them. I was having so much trouble opening up.
It might seem evil though with the way I'm presenting the information, but it's just too funny to still stay mad about now. From my experiences though, just opening up fully while being level headed has really turned it around for me. I'm sensing people's emotions a lot more properly and can say it's just them having gone crazy because they don't want to think about bad stuff they did out of selfishness.
The only question I have now is if I can push the envelope with them successfully without letting steam come out of my head. I know I'm pretty aware of stuff and grabbing onto all the touchy feely things and also can detect suspicions with where it's leading to. If I wanted to mess around, I could just keep on talking about it, but there needs to be a purpose. I was aiming at getting my hidden agenda out but I just couldn't do it at the time, but it isn't that bad anyway so I should have just went after it anyway because I know it's going to make me happy. Those people will still be slightly upset regardless about the situation, so the better of two evils would be my personal satisfaction which I could obtain with them and it isn't even that bad at the same time.
Actually my smack talking is also at an all time high and I'm very capable of countering inter-personal attacks and making the other person look stupid. This is something I wanted to refrain from doing, so it escalated the situation. If I had done that, those people would have stopped making me mad but I would still be at a loss with my humanity with them for awhile and treat them like some statistic that I want to acquire. I tried to go about it the nice way, but I'm aware of my feelings from having written full on insults that are so funny it will make another person enjoy those comments. I'm totally upgraded and feeling good now. It was meant to happen in that I'm meant to be a winner of this petty affair with crazy people over the smallest things too!
It's funny because what I'm requesting is not such a big deal and they just want to be so uptight about it for whatever reasons. It shouldn't be a big thing for them to do, but they want to just yell and scream out of frustration to leave them alone. Oh well, they just have issues about something and I don't really care. They were being crazy overall by making it seem bigger than it really was and after all these years, that was mainly the basis of my conflict with them. They don't know it of course because I wasn't sharing that with them. I was having so much trouble opening up.
It might seem evil though with the way I'm presenting the information, but it's just too funny to still stay mad about now. From my experiences though, just opening up fully while being level headed has really turned it around for me. I'm sensing people's emotions a lot more properly and can say it's just them having gone crazy because they don't want to think about bad stuff they did out of selfishness.
The only question I have now is if I can push the envelope with them successfully without letting steam come out of my head. I know I'm pretty aware of stuff and grabbing onto all the touchy feely things and also can detect suspicions with where it's leading to. If I wanted to mess around, I could just keep on talking about it, but there needs to be a purpose. I was aiming at getting my hidden agenda out but I just couldn't do it at the time, but it isn't that bad anyway so I should have just went after it anyway because I know it's going to make me happy. Those people will still be slightly upset regardless about the situation, so the better of two evils would be my personal satisfaction which I could obtain with them and it isn't even that bad at the same time.
Actually my smack talking is also at an all time high and I'm very capable of countering inter-personal attacks and making the other person look stupid. This is something I wanted to refrain from doing, so it escalated the situation. If I had done that, those people would have stopped making me mad but I would still be at a loss with my humanity with them for awhile and treat them like some statistic that I want to acquire. I tried to go about it the nice way, but I'm aware of my feelings from having written full on insults that are so funny it will make another person enjoy those comments. I'm totally upgraded and feeling good now. It was meant to happen in that I'm meant to be a winner of this petty affair with crazy people over the smallest things too!
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
After Work Hours
Managing my time right after work which could easily take up 13 hours of my day from the time I get ready for work to the time I'm back, is tough because while being tired I can't function as well. I know that I have dreams that I wish to complete from the bottom of my heart and I'm excited about the opportunity right when I get back home.
This is my tough spot. But first, I will mention my end goals. I would like to own a nice home with a few cars and have enough time to do all the hobbies I would like in the world while giving some of my time to serve God while being cheerful in my heart ASAP. Secondly, a beautiful romance with a Christian chick in marriage would be awesome! Kids or none, intimacy with her first ASAP.
So how do I get there? It's definitely not going to happen by sitting around and sleeping while tired which is what I've been doing. I guess I can't afford too many of those days which feel like luxuries at times. It feels guilty to sneak in more than 8 hours of sleep for me. I think I was dreaming about sex, so maybe that's why.
This is my tough spot. But first, I will mention my end goals. I would like to own a nice home with a few cars and have enough time to do all the hobbies I would like in the world while giving some of my time to serve God while being cheerful in my heart ASAP. Secondly, a beautiful romance with a Christian chick in marriage would be awesome! Kids or none, intimacy with her first ASAP.
So how do I get there? It's definitely not going to happen by sitting around and sleeping while tired which is what I've been doing. I guess I can't afford too many of those days which feel like luxuries at times. It feels guilty to sneak in more than 8 hours of sleep for me. I think I was dreaming about sex, so maybe that's why.
Just Being Straight Forward
From being straight forward and a lot more open with some attractive friends, they love me! I guess women are communicative creatures after all and when they are sharing some personal details about themselves, they really want you to listen too. I've had moments where I just sit there and zone out with them. It's like they are talking and my mind is going on overdrive trying to keep up with them just chatting with me about whatever. I think this is probably why I'm not so interested in a romantic relationship with a lady friend who is considered hot and sought by like at least five random guys when she's all dolled up. I've seen her without all of that makeup and even when she has all of those clothes on, I'm just like whatever. Even so, when I'm hanging out with her, I've noticed that guys don't really try to approach her. She mentioned that to me and a really good looking female who showed some interest with me was asking if we're a couple. I denied it immediately!
From being my natural self and straight forward, I seem to have some attractive qualities for developing healthy relationships. I don't have too much experience dealing with crazy idiots from the past because I used to be so conflict adverse that I kept my head low and never said a word while I was just under so much turmoil. It felt like performance-related stress for me while I was around people. I just wanted to feel happy all the time, but I wasn't getting there. Man those days were hard, and they sucked. Opening up with beautiful girls and hanging with them for them to accept and love me as a good friend has been enjoyable and really helpful for me to cope with my mental problems about stupid relationship stuff from the past.
From being my natural self and straight forward, I seem to have some attractive qualities for developing healthy relationships. I don't have too much experience dealing with crazy idiots from the past because I used to be so conflict adverse that I kept my head low and never said a word while I was just under so much turmoil. It felt like performance-related stress for me while I was around people. I just wanted to feel happy all the time, but I wasn't getting there. Man those days were hard, and they sucked. Opening up with beautiful girls and hanging with them for them to accept and love me as a good friend has been enjoyable and really helpful for me to cope with my mental problems about stupid relationship stuff from the past.
Crazy Work Situation
It seems really normal with what I'm going through right now. I'm not perfectly fond of my job and wish I could do my own thing with something better and then have so much time in this world to try other stuff and also be able to dedicate some better time to the Lord and also be a giving person to some deserving charities.
I've been called in to work from 6 am to 4:30 pm for about two weeks starting this Friday. This means that I'm going to be working 50 hour weeks. It's good in that I make more money but the bad is that I might not enjoy doing the work as much so that's my dilemma I have going. The pay is not too shabby for me. I'll get by no problem and pay my bills and have some extra to spend and save up at the same time. I mean I'll just do the best I can here.
I've been called in to work from 6 am to 4:30 pm for about two weeks starting this Friday. This means that I'm going to be working 50 hour weeks. It's good in that I make more money but the bad is that I might not enjoy doing the work as much so that's my dilemma I have going. The pay is not too shabby for me. I'll get by no problem and pay my bills and have some extra to spend and save up at the same time. I mean I'll just do the best I can here.
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Better Time Management
I'm pretty much just listing out the things I need to do and just working at getting them done. Probably the thing that I'm still getting used to is making best use of my time. It's like I could do something that's fun to me and doesn't mean much and then get carried away with trying to get that done. I guess I need to just avoid putting myself in that situation then and go for doing some more necessary things. I will just keep on trying then and that's pretty much the best I could do.
Friday, November 10, 2017
Better Planning
For the most part, I'm really excited about having come across a money making tool that might work effectively. It's crazy because it does the job with predicting where the next trend will end up. Just doing this method repetitively and at all my own convenience, I'm finding that my future might have some possibilities.
I think the trick is just finding the right source with something you are interested in and just applying yourself to make it happen. With money being how this world works, you can't afford too many false starts and that's bound to happen. This is probably what turns off people who really go after trying it. My world that I chose to invest in has so many dead ends and could end up being a waste pile of hard earned money turning to dust.
This is the tough world of Forex where 95% of traders will sink with losing money continuously and only the top 1% will make it comfortably. It doesn't even matter if I talk about how to trade well. There's still going to be people who don't get it. I'm not really going to bother with that drama and I chose this, so the whole secret to my success is just finding the right source and then learning how to apply that knowledge to make yourself successful. It's a lot of testing and you might even overlook it at first and it might not even be an appealing strategy while feeling uncomfortable to bother trying.
Let's just say I was really interested with a trading strategy and I'm not even using that to my surprise but the other tools that it also offered is something I gave with my attention. I have the sources to make money, but I'm not making any recommendations because I know people will try and still fail to do anything about it. It's like even if I do all the complicated methods that I can't even understand, it's just something I do visually and feel my way around, but it works so yeah, it just fits in well for me so it's better that I let others find something that really works for them if they so want to be make money at Forex. I really did entertain a whole lot of interesting ideas.
I think the trick is just finding the right source with something you are interested in and just applying yourself to make it happen. With money being how this world works, you can't afford too many false starts and that's bound to happen. This is probably what turns off people who really go after trying it. My world that I chose to invest in has so many dead ends and could end up being a waste pile of hard earned money turning to dust.
This is the tough world of Forex where 95% of traders will sink with losing money continuously and only the top 1% will make it comfortably. It doesn't even matter if I talk about how to trade well. There's still going to be people who don't get it. I'm not really going to bother with that drama and I chose this, so the whole secret to my success is just finding the right source and then learning how to apply that knowledge to make yourself successful. It's a lot of testing and you might even overlook it at first and it might not even be an appealing strategy while feeling uncomfortable to bother trying.
Let's just say I was really interested with a trading strategy and I'm not even using that to my surprise but the other tools that it also offered is something I gave with my attention. I have the sources to make money, but I'm not making any recommendations because I know people will try and still fail to do anything about it. It's like even if I do all the complicated methods that I can't even understand, it's just something I do visually and feel my way around, but it works so yeah, it just fits in well for me so it's better that I let others find something that really works for them if they so want to be make money at Forex. I really did entertain a whole lot of interesting ideas.
Felt Weird Last Night
I pretty much took an hour of nap and then was up for four hours after. With the surge of energy I had, I ended up squandering it by watching three episodes of anime about a girl who pops out of a steel can when the main character drinks it. It's obviously a weird romance comedy and the girl ends up generating melon fireballs and burns the perverted 16-year old main character! I don't even know what the name is of that anime. It's some Japanese title that I can't even read. Okay I wasted an hour watching it. I could have probably done something else to struggle with.
I ended up watching forty minutes of a celebrity edition dealing with playing video games by Nickelodeon in the 90s, which was really cool. It was inspiring in a way for me, so I guess I shouldn't feel bad about that.
I then read an article about how porn is different from real sex. It was a real eye opener about how normal women might not actually feel pleasure multiple times out of the mechanics. I'm still very much interested in it while adding in romantic elements though so maybe just romance with the love of my life and enjoying some private and pretty good intimacy while willing to work at it should be good for me. Well, I'm praying about it and hopefully I won't make a sin that's too great to recover fully from out of God's grace.
I have to admit that porn is meant to be entertainment for a sinful world. It's just for the viewer to fantasize about fulfilling some lusts with sexual overtones. The hard part for me is running away from the entertainment and thinking about how fun it would be to do that with the right person I find and marry. I don't think I have what it takes to be a porn star too and some side of me is like yeah, I can do it and I try to prove to myself that I can do it every once in awhile. From reading up on the requirements, it drains energy and is like forcing yourself to be a meat stick for the sake of being filmed; I don't really feel comfortable with that even though it's been a guilty pleasure to reach halfway.
In a way, this is like an unwanted job that I've been unintentionally pursuing because I ran into a mental pitfall and still rewiring myself back into it. Just like how I felt with competing at games requiring some gambles, I don't have enough talent to overcome those droughts of losing money and the tenacity that's required out of it just sucks the living joy out of me doing it in the first place.
From perceiving this relation, it's better for me to drop the act and go after pure love. I mean true love in the real world is going to be a commitment and not feel great sometimes and I know this from loving my beautiful female friends. The joy will be just actively seeking and being patient and when it just happens to you, it will be a true blessing from God.
I ended up watching forty minutes of a celebrity edition dealing with playing video games by Nickelodeon in the 90s, which was really cool. It was inspiring in a way for me, so I guess I shouldn't feel bad about that.
I then read an article about how porn is different from real sex. It was a real eye opener about how normal women might not actually feel pleasure multiple times out of the mechanics. I'm still very much interested in it while adding in romantic elements though so maybe just romance with the love of my life and enjoying some private and pretty good intimacy while willing to work at it should be good for me. Well, I'm praying about it and hopefully I won't make a sin that's too great to recover fully from out of God's grace.
I have to admit that porn is meant to be entertainment for a sinful world. It's just for the viewer to fantasize about fulfilling some lusts with sexual overtones. The hard part for me is running away from the entertainment and thinking about how fun it would be to do that with the right person I find and marry. I don't think I have what it takes to be a porn star too and some side of me is like yeah, I can do it and I try to prove to myself that I can do it every once in awhile. From reading up on the requirements, it drains energy and is like forcing yourself to be a meat stick for the sake of being filmed; I don't really feel comfortable with that even though it's been a guilty pleasure to reach halfway.
In a way, this is like an unwanted job that I've been unintentionally pursuing because I ran into a mental pitfall and still rewiring myself back into it. Just like how I felt with competing at games requiring some gambles, I don't have enough talent to overcome those droughts of losing money and the tenacity that's required out of it just sucks the living joy out of me doing it in the first place.
From perceiving this relation, it's better for me to drop the act and go after pure love. I mean true love in the real world is going to be a commitment and not feel great sometimes and I know this from loving my beautiful female friends. The joy will be just actively seeking and being patient and when it just happens to you, it will be a true blessing from God.
Thursday, November 9, 2017
Maybe On Clear Waters
With the way I'm communicating these days with stupid adversaries, it looks like they are interested in just ignoring me now. This puts me in a clear pathway to vocalize stuff out there that's always been inside of me. They are pretty much like a dirty and unreusable sponge. I'm going to say stuff and they are going to stay quiet and nothing is going in to them. In a way, this allows my personality to just express itself with these people and those people aren't going to be really doing anything about it. I can see this pattern setting up.
The main thing that's giving me the edge here is being able to communicate directly and openly with them. They don't have it. The fact that my least suspecting target who turned into a nuisance with me- Oyuri, isn't responding to me anymore on Facebook, it looks like I have a clear confidence to move forward whenever I'm ready to now. Something that I'm feeling confident lately is that with me talking in this manner and getting no response, I'm feeling rather secure about all this. I think things are going well for me with the repercussions. In a way with less people butting in for me, it feels like people just don't want to make such a big deal about this petty affair I have going and so it's not even that controversial to begin with. It looks like my guilty conscience was just messing with my head here.
The main thing that's giving me the edge here is being able to communicate directly and openly with them. They don't have it. The fact that my least suspecting target who turned into a nuisance with me- Oyuri, isn't responding to me anymore on Facebook, it looks like I have a clear confidence to move forward whenever I'm ready to now. Something that I'm feeling confident lately is that with me talking in this manner and getting no response, I'm feeling rather secure about all this. I think things are going well for me with the repercussions. In a way with less people butting in for me, it feels like people just don't want to make such a big deal about this petty affair I have going and so it's not even that controversial to begin with. It looks like my guilty conscience was just messing with my head here.
Scary At First
Becoming a more open person, it was scary even admitting some things to myself. I held back a lot of my psychotic thoughts with a few nobodies, and it scared them enough to start acting like dweebs on crack and try to snitch on me. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate me bringing it up but if I presented it that way, then they'll give me that look of hopelessness with me one time and just try not to show any sign of emotion after. Yeah, I think they can learn to get along with me after all. We just won't ever be close friends and that's okay.
Trying to not be straightforward with myself and going on that path of prideful blindness, I totally kept myself from getting to greatness. When I was at an all-time low and worked extra hours under feelings of pain and displeasure, I just did it to get recognition from others. Even then it still wasn't enough to bring me satisfaction.
I was a scared little boy underneath and afraid of getting into conflicts. When it happened, I was in denial and when I made threatening comments at the most minimal level, it scared the living bleep holes out of people. Then again, I feel like I am meant to be likable so being a winner and giving them free guidance because I'm so mad at them probably wouldn't seem to offend them at all.
Trying to not be straightforward with myself and going on that path of prideful blindness, I totally kept myself from getting to greatness. When I was at an all-time low and worked extra hours under feelings of pain and displeasure, I just did it to get recognition from others. Even then it still wasn't enough to bring me satisfaction.
I was a scared little boy underneath and afraid of getting into conflicts. When it happened, I was in denial and when I made threatening comments at the most minimal level, it scared the living bleep holes out of people. Then again, I feel like I am meant to be likable so being a winner and giving them free guidance because I'm so mad at them probably wouldn't seem to offend them at all.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Girls' Confession of Love
I've had a few female friends tell me in person that they love me. They both have long-term boyfriends already and contrary to what my sister thinks, I'm not moving in to steal them away from their everlasting lovers. It was not too long ago. One of them is a great girl and the other is iffy and feels a bit strange but still a good person. Third time's a charm because another girl who I regularly hang with told me that her sister said she loves me too!
I'm not sure if this is them falling in love with me or something, but I think this bond is really strong and feels great. We're closer and they feel comfortable with me. They are able to tell me some really personal things about them. I'm sure if one of them was my lover then she would still be this way to me. I think that's what it means to share love.
I think the interpretation of them loving me is just because I actually am that type who is easily lovable. It's cool and such a privilege to have something like this with girls who are not my blood. My blood-related sister isn't acting so much like a girl with anger issues anymore; I had my way with giving her a hard time from being the older brother and being relentless with my personal attacks that were just plain funny and mocking her. It hurt my feelings too because I felt so bad from behaving that way with my own little sister and that's how good those jokes and insults I made with her were.
I'm not sure if this is them falling in love with me or something, but I think this bond is really strong and feels great. We're closer and they feel comfortable with me. They are able to tell me some really personal things about them. I'm sure if one of them was my lover then she would still be this way to me. I think that's what it means to share love.
I think the interpretation of them loving me is just because I actually am that type who is easily lovable. It's cool and such a privilege to have something like this with girls who are not my blood. My blood-related sister isn't acting so much like a girl with anger issues anymore; I had my way with giving her a hard time from being the older brother and being relentless with my personal attacks that were just plain funny and mocking her. It hurt my feelings too because I felt so bad from behaving that way with my own little sister and that's how good those jokes and insults I made with her were.
Probably Psychotic
Psychosis is defined as being in a mental state of loss in reality. A huge amount of anger and feelings of being wronged could probably lead to a psycho ex-girlfriend. I'm just generalizing for fun that girls can be crazier in the head but not act out in it. Guys would be like get out of my way and going to kill you right now!
Trying to have Facebook discussions with an angry girl who isn't your friend and blocked your original account, she was definitely calling me psycho literally after reading every message. When I talked about what was making me mad, she called me a psycho. When I said that I want to get along with her, she called me a psycho. She was such an insecure punk and even tried to run to his fiancée to help me out. He was like OMG and then stopped responding after with some more cussing. I was going to deal with this sooner or later.
That's pretty much the big picture and the drama I had with her isn't even serious. It's up to me now how to pursue though because she totally stopped behaving that way with me on Facebook. I'm really happy with the parting messages I sent her so far. I was a work in progress and thankfully from having great relationships with female and hot buddies, I was able to close in with words that I wanted to convey and get the response that I wanted which was for her to finally stay quiet.
Trying to have Facebook discussions with an angry girl who isn't your friend and blocked your original account, she was definitely calling me psycho literally after reading every message. When I talked about what was making me mad, she called me a psycho. When I said that I want to get along with her, she called me a psycho. She was such an insecure punk and even tried to run to his fiancée to help me out. He was like OMG and then stopped responding after with some more cussing. I was going to deal with this sooner or later.
That's pretty much the big picture and the drama I had with her isn't even serious. It's up to me now how to pursue though because she totally stopped behaving that way with me on Facebook. I'm really happy with the parting messages I sent her so far. I was a work in progress and thankfully from having great relationships with female and hot buddies, I was able to close in with words that I wanted to convey and get the response that I wanted which was for her to finally stay quiet.
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Lot More Healthier
I'm free from any worry in my bones because I have security from my faith in Jesus. Whether that seems narrow-minded or not, it's hard to do it anyway because naturally people wouldn't want to go that direction already! Just being open and going after a deeper relationship and yeah, it's uncomfortable with all these different doubts and worries, it really helps to just humble yourself.
More better these days, I'm actually over with Betty not wanting to be friends with me. Yeah, she's stupid and had a brain aneurysm while having used to be fat with depression and slitting her wrists. Ultra stupid if you ask me and I feel inclined to accept her stupidity and love her without her directly being my friend. Betty has an easy confusion rate and goes crazy from anger and gives you that moody state of being unstable if something is wrong. It's very annoying to say the truth, but she needs guidance from a calm friend to lead her to the truth.
I think everybody at Hope of God Church in LA who went against me was being stupid! They were blaming me something that had nothing to do with me. They said I was keeping their church from growing and they are still small after I left! I know because I went after Lee when her restraining order against me failed to get extended. What a bunch of stupids who contradict themselves. They are not God-inspired and I'm glad I took a stand against them. They are a bunch of embarrassing people who left the church and went somewhere else!
Underneath all the hollering and ridiculing with those guys and gals I feel so indignant over, I still want to make up with them. It's just part of who I am, so that's why I'm pushing the envelope and they are so afraid of me doing it. You know, after all of that mess it's funny and I'm the one who is laughing and they are the ones who are scattered like they were diseased. It's not really a big deal and they were going crazy from having trouble controlling their own anger. If they didn't have trouble with it, then they would still be my Facebook friends! I'm the one that's asking and they are like shouting and going even more crazy and making themselves look bad. They are just making it worse for themselves and going insane.
My message for them is if I ever get a chance to relay it. I don't really care that they are naturally crazy and stupid who go back to their wild caveman or cave woman days in these modern times. They are little people because they complain and try to hire bigger bullies after me. I don't care about that really. I'm one of those rare people who want to get along in those instances and those types exist in this world. It's a natural personality and something people are born with. They just want control and want to rule out of stupidity. It's okay though because from opening up and doing whatever the heck I feel like with them now, I don't want them dead and the struggle to become their friends again even if it's never happening again has been a wild and valuable experience for me.
I have new friends and more deeper with closer relationships with people who mean a lot to me. I'm able to settle down better because I had the time to struggle with these numb brains who ran away from me! Out of that, I give thanks to the Lord because those numb nuts were church people after all. I don't think they have a deep relationship with God though. Overall, it's just plain funny and something I'm feeling more proud about in just trusting the Lord to deal with it.
Friday, November 3, 2017
Dedicating Time
I think Jesus deserves all the focus I can give him. When I'm reading the Bible and trying to reflect on a verse by verse basis, I'm completely lost. For my reasons of studying it, I would like to find a comfort zone with the Lord and be His servant. I believe very heavily that living out the principles found in the Bible will seriously ensure a happy life for anyone who practices it.
For the most part, I can't do this on my own so I've enlisted help with a commentary that is pretty much volumes condensed into one file. It's really long and has a lot of insight and goes into depth while being written in an understandable fashion. I have been growing spiritually because of its help. What I'm finding out from trying to study the Bible on my own is that some verses aren't really that clear and may have some reigning ideas out of speculation.
With the busy and fun life that I am setting up, I think I will be comfortable to give Jesus an hour of my time each day to study the Bible verse by verse while using a basic and spiritually rich commentary. Along the way, I also have my radio regularly tuned to listening to sermons and would be effective if I can pay attention. However, I still have yet to place my full attention the majority of the time. I'm listening to bits and pieces though while driving and then zoning out with unimportant matters.
For the most part, I can't do this on my own so I've enlisted help with a commentary that is pretty much volumes condensed into one file. It's really long and has a lot of insight and goes into depth while being written in an understandable fashion. I have been growing spiritually because of its help. What I'm finding out from trying to study the Bible on my own is that some verses aren't really that clear and may have some reigning ideas out of speculation.
With the busy and fun life that I am setting up, I think I will be comfortable to give Jesus an hour of my time each day to study the Bible verse by verse while using a basic and spiritually rich commentary. Along the way, I also have my radio regularly tuned to listening to sermons and would be effective if I can pay attention. However, I still have yet to place my full attention the majority of the time. I'm listening to bits and pieces though while driving and then zoning out with unimportant matters.
Thursday, November 2, 2017
Breaking Down Overwhelming To Managable Feeling
For the most part, with my sexual desires reawakened, I'm just going to keep them there. I think it's healthy to always feel like you want to make love! It's funny for sure but I don't mind having them as a constant reminder to me being still single. I've met a great girl and we've got along for several years now and she said she loves me and even texted me it like she's flirting which is so sweet, but she has a partner that she's not too fond of or just has physical happiness when she's in the mood with him. It's a funny dilemma because I don't want her to crash with that relationship even though she could be well off even without him. I don't want to go for a steal because I want to respect it even if it's been going on for almost seven years now and no marriage. I think they've been living together for about a year now and there might really be no common law marriage in a liberal state, so if they wanted to tie the knot for a certificate of marriage for tax benefits and joint partnership then wow, there might be a significant level of risk involved because she's the owner to a lot of things. I'm not going to be jealous of her though because I figure it's all in God's timing with all these single ladies with kids trying to hit on me online and go out on dates with them already! I'm still declining their invitations by the way.
Because of significant work and taking the time to hang with another girl I'm not related to, she's like family to me as well. I also have all these desires and ambitions inside of me to keep me from meeting more beautiful ladies and try to tie an interested one down. I guess from hanging with those lady friends of mine, I'm just getting good at not caring personally about what others are thinking. People haven't really shown to be personally rude with me though because we're living in a liberal and diverse state. I think hot girls are rather abundant with where I live. I just walk around downtown at a big event and there's cute girls hanging out without any guys.
It's not really the end of the world if a girl rejects here because you can still rebuild, recollect, and make yourself better. It does require a certain level of intellect, discipline, and commitment though which is probably what most guys who are craving sex so badly like me don't want to do! I honestly don't want to either and would hit the accept button if she walked into my life all of a sudden, but this is the game that all eligible guys should be playing regardless. In this game of life, persistence and self-awareness with discipline seriously wins! To lose one's life out of love, is to gain in the afterlife and well worth it to, I might add; even if the person doesn't believe strongly in God. Love is really powerful and influentially amazing with shaping thoughts and improving upon behaviors. It's a really good thing and God in the Bible as confusing as it sounds sometimes proclaims to be love, Himself! Meditating such as doing deep considerable and moving thinking is necessary for concepts of finding out if God is working in someone's life. It can be a waste of time for some people, but definitely something you can grow from. With presumptions being made and significant time needed to back them up, it's just a matter of throwing out or accepting the faith!
Because of significant work and taking the time to hang with another girl I'm not related to, she's like family to me as well. I also have all these desires and ambitions inside of me to keep me from meeting more beautiful ladies and try to tie an interested one down. I guess from hanging with those lady friends of mine, I'm just getting good at not caring personally about what others are thinking. People haven't really shown to be personally rude with me though because we're living in a liberal and diverse state. I think hot girls are rather abundant with where I live. I just walk around downtown at a big event and there's cute girls hanging out without any guys.
It's not really the end of the world if a girl rejects here because you can still rebuild, recollect, and make yourself better. It does require a certain level of intellect, discipline, and commitment though which is probably what most guys who are craving sex so badly like me don't want to do! I honestly don't want to either and would hit the accept button if she walked into my life all of a sudden, but this is the game that all eligible guys should be playing regardless. In this game of life, persistence and self-awareness with discipline seriously wins! To lose one's life out of love, is to gain in the afterlife and well worth it to, I might add; even if the person doesn't believe strongly in God. Love is really powerful and influentially amazing with shaping thoughts and improving upon behaviors. It's a really good thing and God in the Bible as confusing as it sounds sometimes proclaims to be love, Himself! Meditating such as doing deep considerable and moving thinking is necessary for concepts of finding out if God is working in someone's life. It can be a waste of time for some people, but definitely something you can grow from. With presumptions being made and significant time needed to back them up, it's just a matter of throwing out or accepting the faith!
Kicking Off the Month
To start off the new month, it's been going pretty consistent for me. Hey, it's been only two days! The Dodgers lost by the way in the World Series to a team that fought hard and was able to pitch well on the final game of the year! Dodgers aren't really my favorite team anyway, but I'm a little bummed out that they lost though. They are pretty much like the Yankees of the NL in a way because their team has the highest payroll.
Now that the World Series is over for my distraction, I can either find a new one or just get back to my own business. I like the later option better for myself. I was really able to do some dream searching yesterday and bought a few more practical books that I see myself using or have fun reading up on.
It's been really clear for me that I want to make money as a programmer! I'm also doing the risky investment and instead of like the typical stock market or options, I'm going for trading the biggest bad boy of them all- Forex! Its trading volume exceeds $4 trillion daily because it's dealing with all the different currencies in the world. Usually, when I tell my friends this some will mention about other foreign currencies like I was tipped off that the Chinese were doing well. I'm not a big fan of China from them being Communists and having reputation to build shaky buildings from trying to cut costs. The Hong Kong currency can be a regularly traded one though and can be associated with the Chinese government as well.
Now that the World Series is over for my distraction, I can either find a new one or just get back to my own business. I like the later option better for myself. I was really able to do some dream searching yesterday and bought a few more practical books that I see myself using or have fun reading up on.
It's been really clear for me that I want to make money as a programmer! I'm also doing the risky investment and instead of like the typical stock market or options, I'm going for trading the biggest bad boy of them all- Forex! Its trading volume exceeds $4 trillion daily because it's dealing with all the different currencies in the world. Usually, when I tell my friends this some will mention about other foreign currencies like I was tipped off that the Chinese were doing well. I'm not a big fan of China from them being Communists and having reputation to build shaky buildings from trying to cut costs. The Hong Kong currency can be a regularly traded one though and can be associated with the Chinese government as well.
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