Feeling Liberated

These days I'm more or less understanding my anger with the hopeless Hope of God church in LA. Just because they wear T-shirts to show their unity doesn't mean that they are one with each other inside their own hearts. Just because they look happy doesn't mean that they are all dainty and nice inside like some people think they are. They are just people who also happen to suck! It's just my opinion that I want to personally laugh about and invite others to laugh along with me.

Yeah, like how some crazy girls felt liberated from taking off their clothes to pose in a manner for a magazine that attracts stupid men who think about sex, I feel liberated from writing while being my open ended self. I have some sort of self-discipline while taking care with wanting to be nice. I lose it easily though from being offended when others raise their voices at me. Actually, now that I think about it. It's actually funny to be yelled at by a person who lost it. I'm mad because I want to get along and they are making it so hard for me!

I guess I should show off my raw emotions of anger that is all about being friends on Facebook literally! It's silly and funny and not that big of a deal for me. The other person is just stupid while being mad. I've had so much time to take care of the situation and think hard about what is driving me insane. I was diagnosed with bipolar at one point from being borderline schizophrenic. Actually, it got really close because the people's voices in my head were like closing in on making me think they were real. I was even having conversations with them of basically saying, "Shut up!" with every sentence in my head.

Yeah, from having that tough time I got out of it from finding my miracle pill. I think I took risperadal and know for sure that I took prozac. What I hated about prozac in the past then might actually be useful for a decent sex life now that I think about it. I don't remember actually. I just recall episodes that lasted for a whole day and man it was treacherous. To get out of it, man what a relief and so happy and give thanks to God! That's why I believe in and will refuse to let go of Jesus no matter what. Even if Muslim terrorists want to chop off my head, I'm saying that Allah sucks and Jesus rocks. I'll be like YEAHHHH!!! I'll try to make them laugh though and feel bad about chopping my head off. Best I could do for everybody else after me.

It's been almost 18 years already. I've recovered from bipolar/schizophrenia in just three months of that period long time ago thanks to the medication and wonderful talk therapy. I asked my psychiatrist, "How do you talk?" in those sessions and he would just start laughing and stay quiet with me. I even recently made the stupid people who decided to get mad and hate on me at that hopeless "Hope of God" look stupid. It's so funny that they can't add me again on Facebook after having deleted me and that's what I'm still mad about after all these years. Yeah they are uptight and paranoid and self-centered to the point that I don't care about it because what I want isn't that big of a deal to begin with, so anyone who does that will look dumb if I approach it from this angle.