New Style of Living

It looks like I'm going to work on investing my stock portfolio while trading the Forex and looking to do some simple cooking. I'm going to the store to buy a lot of ingredients now, and don't want them to go to waste so I will just look for quick recipes that taste pretty good! 

For the final things to do, I could play some online Poker or go watch anime. I also do have a mini-Master's to work on as well. In between, I would like to also do some working out and then take a shower right after doing some growing taller stretches. Once the public opens back up, I want to go out to start hanging out with friendly people. I'm not so worried about not finding a girlfriend anymore and will see how that goes. It's just a matter of really trying.

Starting to Make Better Sense

I think what it just comes down to for me is sticking to something to be successful. It can be long, pestering, and very difficult to get somewhere but as long as it's something I'm interested in doing to make a living, it's all there is to it. I'm a much more confident individual now and possibly even nicer in person, but I can be  really funny and annoying to a few crazy acquaintances via mainly text. Back then, I wasn't really equipped to solve issues with those individuals who went crazy with me. I'm not sure I can call them good friends anymore, since I closed with myself off from being really uncomfortable and struggling to find my inner self while becoming more confident.

It gradually just kept on getting better for me, and I realize that there are some really good people out there that I'm happy to have met and formed a wonderful community with in some sense. It's awesome and I'm happy to be there when I get the chance. I had a good time basically and it's stupid. Oh, I was dumb and forgot some things while being crazy. I was just playing around but who cares, it's what it is. So stupid, I just realized it that I was just playing with people and I didn't tell them about it while apologizing. I'm starting to get a better sense of mind and establishing this comfort zone while being a confident and hot short man! 

Making New Progress

With my side business, I have now chosen to just deal with investing in stocks and short-term swing trading the Forex market. It really doesn't take me that long to work on, so this is what I mainly want, which is just having time to do whatever else while being wealthy and not having to worry about working for a paycheck.  It sounds like a nice and humble life for me to work at achieving! 

I believe that I'm blessed to have finally found some resources that make a lot of sense to me and how I'm able to retain the information because of my interest in it. Basically, I'm going to lay off of treating online Poker like a business now because it would mathematically take me too long to make a lot of money from not being that much better than the current competition. I'd like to be confident enough to be able to support a family, while being rich enough to do whatever still like continuing to have fun with the future wife and kids. 

I have come a long way from having lacked confidence and being conflict avoidant. It caused problems with some crazy individuals because I couldn't just back away from whatever personal issue I had with them and close the deal. Now, it's different and I feel very positive and confident to go places and keep on doing fun things. It's awesome that things have felt like they are turning around for the better consistently. 

Proper Time Management

I think the best way that I have it laid out for me right now is to just work first on some things at my side business and then play later with video games and watching anime. It looks like I may have outlived my desire to look at porn, since I prefer having great sex with the future wife a lot more instead!  

Eventually once this coronavirus gets sorted out, I will be looking to go socialize for fun as well. Now that I have a decent feeling of being so short and can live with it from personal dry humor and have the confidence I needed all along, I don't think it really bothers me so much anymore to be around very tall people and make some more nice friends.    

The way I'm adjusting to this discipline of having so much fun is to put some work in first before giving in to having a lot of fun. I guess I should have been much more humble, but instead I was some crazy guy who couldn't do much and just burn himself out a lot of times even though I was probably putting in some valiant effort. Honestly, I think I need to exercise more bodily self-control with self-awareness. The only thing I'd like to really add on now is doing some cooking daily and working out. 

Comparing Personal Goals to Actual Living

I guess there's a huge benefit for me personally in that I have learned to portray myself authentically from writing on here. I literally don't like to swear around people and won't bother to even write it for possibly readers to catch it on here. When I used these asterisks or dashes to cover bad words while expressing myself with angry people, they didn't seem to care and couldn't stop responding back with crazy texts. This is my experience of trying to be funny with them, but they just didn't see the dark, dry humor I was trying to convey with them at the time. I don't think that was really the issue though, but with how I was actually conflict-avoidant and still trying to go at it with them. They were throwing insult-tantrums at me, which really ticked me off a lot. When I would calm down after doing my thing to get back at them, they would say another insult that would get me angry again to repeat the same minor activity to drive them crazy. It was a never-ending cycle.

Things have changed now from having just opened myself up, since a bad and crazy friend has sometimes claimed that I can still say funny things while being this way when we get into altercations via texting! I don't think there's really going to be a fallout anytime soon, but the wise course of action would maybe be not to continue wasting my time trying to convince him that he's crazy even though I usually end up making fun of him and sending him a lot of laughing cartoon pics of myself which he labels to be crazy. It could just be a front I have formed from having adjusted to some of his past responses that infuriated me. 

I've been reading up on investing the stock market and have finally managed to place a few orders. I would like to continue doing this. It looks like quite possibly my style of being less hands-on and letting the market work besides watching it consistently on the computer daily seems to work for me. I don't know how some day traders catch on to this boring activity, but I guess it could be some type of gambling game that they have come to be ignorant about while trying to work hard for their money. 

I believe it's more possible to have this life of having more time on my hands while being rich, and I think I've found the right source for myself. Perhaps, I could let go of online Poker for good eventually besides grinding while using my tested system to build a bankroll. I could just read up on doing stocks while investing occasionally and then call it a day with my side business after completing my short-term swing trading on the spot Forex market. I will look to even automate this portion as well someday, assuming everything keeps on going well. 

Putting it together for my business, I should be working on trading stocks first and then can finish it off while trading in the Forex market. Lastly, I can then play online Poker recreationally!   

Interesting Event

As I'm writing this, I'm planning for the 4th of July weekend and I was invited out by a lady I went out with last year. She's quite an attractive person and we're friends. I'm open to seeing how it goes between us since we're the same age and both still single. Basically, I've learned to be patient with how things arise and stay open to any development in a relationship. I would love to enjoy a wonderful sex life, but I prefer right now to enjoy building up a loving relationship to get to that point. I want to bring on a lot of love-making pleasure to the lady like full-time I choose to be with for the rest of my life! 

I want to really focus more on just having fun and being happy with someone now. I'm totally okay with being friendzoned too. I don't think a friend zone really exists though. You are either into each other or not and if it's a one-sided love interest then it's what it really is and how you should be focused on her happiness first and then yours as well from being in love, which would mean possibly moving on to find another connection while staying open to something happening with the first girl later on. If she ends up finding a decent boyfriend or swings differently then call it a heartbreaker to get over if you haven't found anyone yet. I still see myself as having a chance with them as long as I stay interested while having a good relationship with them, and they aren't in a committed relationship. I'm actually happy for some couples where I had a part in competing for love and even possibly a chance in the mating game with a few ladies. 

Enjoying Side Business

It looks like I've chosen the right side business for myself now which is saving and investing my money. I'm going to call myself a junior, recreational Poker player. It looks like I just want to keep it online while playing this quick format and hoping to build my current bank account from really small to huge someday. It would be quite a feat when that day happens. I'm also patient about it and not looking to ever tilt from exercising discipline and not having to deal with large funds I've earned yet. I have been there though where I have lost so much before a couple times. It's not the end of the world, but it felt that way for me from being so sensitive back then. 

I guess I could look to let watching anime or playing video games be the last thing for me today and now on. If I don't ever get to it because I'm letting myself get occupied, then I can live with it unless I've had too much. This means there's going to be some change of plans in that if I feel burnt out enough then I will give into indulging in those activities while just letting it be something optional and the last thing I do before going to bed. It's just fun for me and that's all, but I do give credit to the Lord for my belief system and spirituality because I wholeheartedly believe in the Bible for every word it says. 

Making Better Use Out of Having Fun

I'm starting to realize that watching or paying attention to fun things can actually have proper meaning and its good place in a person's life. It sure is luxury if one can afford it, but I also think that if it's done too much then there's going to be imbalance and cause some depressing issues to worry about later. 

I don't know how my friends are unable to motivate themselves to become better. I believe that they do but just burn out or don't bother trying anymore for whatever reason. For myself, I feel this competitive drive within myself to improve daily. It just feels good to get something hard done, and it probably shows because I naturally solve figurative puzzles everyday for my work as a software developer. 

I guess it's just a matter of dedicating oneself reasonably before slacking off again and then making plans on how to bounce back. Life can be really so fun and in a way, I realize that I might not have it so bad after all. Despite me being short and my appearances not being the most attractive, I think if you can maintain this still confidence underneath then that's all you really need to not worry about the outer stuff so much. It doesn't even matter how others think or feel about you in that area anymore.

Even though I feel happy pretty much to stay confident with who I am and not so conflict-avoidant anymore, I guess my mind really needed a lot of toughening up for me to find some room for personal happiness and growth. I feel really good about my chances I have with a couple ladies I'm lucky enough to know to be relatively single. Yeah, they are also pretty attractive too and I'm not judging it so much because it looks like I can take their looks for granted sometimes. I'd rather focus on the good inner qualities these ladies possess now. 

Better Positively in Tune

I really think the Bible is like an awesome pastime to keep on listening to while commuting. I try my best to pay attention to it even though the wording is hard to discern sometimes and is easy to fill my mind with other entertaining or distracting thoughts. I don't really find myself dabbling with negativity for so long though. I'm still sticking out my middle finger at nothing when I'm feeling randomly stressed from anything on the road. I'm not really a fan of this emotion that feels like you are stuck in one place and can't be flexible enough. I guess driving does get old after being such a common thing to do daily while gassing a muscle car that needs to be tweaked or traded in for a better one! I hide my middle finger from drivers who are close and pretend that I'm not looking at them, but I don't have any specific complaint against them. It's just me being crazy there. I guess I can still force myself not to give into any road rage if I really had to. After all, my personal battles with the past and having an unresolved grudge on them was solved from just labeling them to be crazy and fully convinced they are.

Moving onto something more personal with daily life, I'm going to try to dedicate myself more to playing on my Switch and watching anime last. I'm finding my side business activities to be interesting for me. I would like to work my way to getting in the gym and going around to the local aquatic center, so I'll just do an easy set of push-ups, sit-ups, and pull ups daily while looking to build it from there. There's no need to stress out about my appearance, since I'm interested in doing this just for fun and have come to accept my short height. I don't think I'm that ugly to begin with and feeling grateful over it.  

Not Minding Things so Much From the Past

It looks like I'm truly over my usual triggers that kept on bugging me from the past. What really has helped a lot for me is just laughing my butt off at things and consistently labeling everything or everyone else who angers me to be crazy. It truly has worked out for me! I can't say much how it happens for anyone else because I see having had to deal with myself as a handful. I didn't even go for proper therapy because I couldn't tell what I needed to go in for, no matter what others told me. I was able to behave properly when I had to or desired to no matter how crazy and bothersome my world felt. I actually think it's pretty funny now with others telling me I had to go get help in the past. I was more angered by it in the past when they told me that and would start behaving with them in an active manner messaging them as well from being nice as I can and holding things back which ended up freaking them out! Yeah, they were really crazy with me and there's really nothing more that needs to be added to it.

It's the past and I've grown out of it while content with myself again, but getting inspiration from reading a few devotions based off the Bible put me in the right direction that I desired to put myself. It's pretty nice to have to have overcome this trial. I'm a more improved and better focused while confident and happier short man now! This whole time, it was related to my strong and unresolved feelings. I was trying to repress it and trying to have fun while feeling like I was struggling. I wasn't actually depressed by it.  Nowadays, it's so crazy being full-on straight and how I can also understand ladies from their perspective as well, but still I love staying nice to them, even all the crazy ones I've ever come across!  

Working at Staying Focused

I think my main personal barrier just deals with how I'm feeling at the moment with my brain activity. It could be something random that happened or being some entertaining flow that I'm distracted by. Well, it is fun to be in this state of mind as well and is something to go back to on a daily basis if possible. I guess I'm normal in that I'm not all about just work and no play. It's really disheartening and won't give me room to enjoy my personal life and building key relationships.

Finding out what I'm interested in and the amount I'm willing to put in the work has finally found its balance for me. It took a long time, but mainly it's just going with it even when I'm not feeling well about it. This is pretty much the Black Mamba mentality that the late Kobe Bryant liked to describe in some of his interviews. I do respect this form of discipline, so not sure if he'd be a good fit for being my role model but I am truly inspired by what he accomplished in his NBA career. 

Overall, I think there really needs to be talent with something that you feel good about doing while potentially being rewarding monetarily. If it's unethical then shame on you guys! It's really all about finding the right intent that doesn't bug the wrong people ( can take awhile to figure out) and being happy about it.

Aiming for Better Progression

It looks like I keep on neglecting one more thing, which is working on doing stocks. Last night, I had my mind set on doing it but I just wanted to relax and release some build up in a form that's related to minor stress and boredom. From being aware of this and just going at it still, I have gained some tolerance to be able to maintain a good level of focus for maybe a few minutes at a time before breaking away from concentration. It becomes even more difficult for me when I'm driving home while trying to listen to the Bible!

Well, here I am trying to get back at it again. I really would like to work on doing stocks now. I guess because it still feels a bit foreign to me, I'm putting off on taking a risk with it. I really do feel that I have acquired some valuable material that really works to maintain some form of stability while working at developing income from trading currency and playing online Poker. 

I am on my second week of being consistent with doing growing taller stretches which is good before heading to sleep. I would like to factor in working out which hasn't been motivating since I'm looking to take cycling and yoga classes at my local gym and then piling it up to give myself a workout session with doing weights. I think with weight training, I should be going four times a week to work on my lower and upper body interchangeably each day. I do have a swimming membership too, which is nice at a local aquatic center. They also have a small waterpark and I happen to live close to another so maybe I should just go by myself to unwind while giving myself motivation to improve my body. Maybe it will make it more fun to make friends with girls and try to invite out the single and decent looking ones! I'm open to trying to form a dating relationship among good looking and nice single friends. I want to go out now and have fun while working on acting like a natural with being self-confident around everyone.

Spending Time on Weekend

I basically spent my time playing a couple of my main video games on the Switch and finishing up with watching an anime series. I would really like to focus some more on my side business. Everything else is moving along smoothly since it doesn't take that long to get finished since I've moved towards investing. It's just I'm still rough starting with doing stocks. On the other hand, with doing currency and online Poker, I have been at both of them for awhile so the transition into playing with real money now hasn't been that hard for me and is rather a relief in how I'm going about it! 

I'm still a little uncomfortable with doing stocks and have been taking my time to gather all the details I need together. Yet, I feel like I'm moving in a good direction with the right support. Stocks are going to take up most of my capital and I'm looking to be moderately risky with it. I'm already playing at a pretty decent level that I'm comfortable with on trading currency and playing Poker so that's two of my three things out of the way. 

I have also managed with doing my growing taller stretches, just to help out with my posture at work. I was noticing that I was slouching and didn't want some bad habits to keep continuing from getting too comfortable and paying for it later on. Now, I just need to add in some gym time and cooking to my daily personal repertoire and then I should be feeling fulfilled as my own person! 

Working Through Normal Days

Because of the setback from the coronavirus, I haven't been able to get myself out that much. I do have an outgoing friend who already went camping and is now doing a roadtrip for a few weeks. Lucky her that she can afford those luxuries and spend it with her husband and close ties who are available. She is a very sweet lady and was really interested in me before getting married, just that I wasn't responding that well to her charm all this time. I think she's average in terms of attractiveness which isn't that bad either. I think if I willed myself to keep on connecting with her and experienced deep love while being comfortable in my current situation, then things would have turned out different.

What's a practical woman who is into love really got to do, if her love interest isn't reciprocating it that well. There are a lot of factors in that mainly I don't have enough confidence, and how she's a different ethnicity and my parents are going to be against it right off the bat. It sucks to have parents who are like that. Yet, the two ladies I have a chance with the most right now are Asian, but not my ethnicity! They can sort of look the part if they spoke my parent's language well and knew the customs, but it won't be likely because it makes sense to not really put that much time doing so. 

I think if I became a millionaire philanthropist and stayed in this country then I don't think my happiness will be compromised at all. Even if I were to go visit my parent's mainland again, I don't think strangers are going to be mean towards me initially at face value. I'm practically another anonymous person in this world, and I'm very comfortable with it staying like that.  

Justifying Hard Work

I must have a lot going on in my mind today because I feel like writing down something important for myself. I think the reason behind putting in a lot of effort is to feel that satisfaction of having completed it with good results. If it doesn't happen then it can be really discouraging to continue doing so, but with my mentality I feel like just trying again over and over until I get it right. 

The satisfying feeling is worth the payout of having taken a long time to get there, especially if it's something you connect very well with and have this desire. I'm now understanding what my ideals of hard work are really related to and it's something that's very positive and even addictive to a point of driving oneself to be successful at anything.

The main thing for myself is to just keep on focusing. It's quite funny in dealing with a popular post I wrote about how someone commented with how I wasted his or her time because they expected something helpful and didn't get it in return. Well, for now I have something that's very useful for me to go back to whenever I would like to remind myself. 

New Thing to Develop

I think gradually I want to work hard at gaining consistency with being durable at handling any form of stress while maintaining a positive attitude. The best way to go about it is to just keep on trying over and over again, no matter how many times you fail. This is my attitude these days and so to apply it with what I have going, I'm looking to complete my side business, work out, cook, plan, and then play if I have any time remaining. Some days I will of course look to play first and then work depending on my mood. 

For the most part, it would be nice to work at finishing what I tasked myself to and have patience while staying positive from being so stressed out sometimes. The only way is to just realize all of this and keep on trying. I guess from having this blog and writing about it, I'm not so worried about embarrassing myself anymore. I have just accepted how things are going better with myself and capable of laughing about it while openly giving myself to keep on improving. 

Figuring Out Myself

It looks like I'm trying my best to stay focused and work hard at obtaining something but I just let myself naturally wander off into other things now. Thinking about it, I'm just recalling everything that made me happy or upset, no matter how small or great. It's quite peculiar because it's something that's just going on with my own brain chemistry at that moment of time. I'm realizing that I'm doing this a lot when I'm trying to listen to the Bible while driving around.

Thinking about it, it's probably because I don't understand the Bible that well and want to while listening to a format that isn't common English I'm accustomed to. It's like I have put in some effort to gather the details. I'm just naturally trying to listen to the words now and digest it fast as I can with the whole. I'm going after trying to do something impossible and this is going to be like my 10th attempt with going through the whole Bible.  I'm already aware of some common stories I grew up with, but it's just trying to gather other details while also analyzing my personal faith. It makes sense for me to stay a believer after all! I'm also thinking about the gripes I have with another past church I used to attend. It was definitely a mistake to have associated with them, but what can you do? I want to now just test how much of a people-person I really am while visiting them for some time.  

I think overall it's just gaining this personal stability and it looks like the Lord does recognize our unique strengths or talents in the Bible. It's when we are weak and when we least expect it that the Lord wants to make Himself shine brighter than any star and pour His love onto us! 

Getting Back In Order

It looks like my trading with currency is doing just fine right now. I still have yet to set up my stock portfolio, which I will be completing. I ended up finishing up an anime series last night and disregarded my discipline. It just got too good for me so I had to finish the remaining episodes on it. 

I ended up doing my growing taller stretches after binge watching four anime episodes and while in my boxers I fell into a deep sleep for the whole night on the carpet of my room. I was exhausted and unable to push myself to finish up on taking a shower and brushing my teeth. I did however move pretty efficiently in the morning. I woke up and did those things to catch up in a shorter amount of time than my average. 

I'm finding that all I really need to do is drink tea or coffee if I want to stay awake longer, but I don't want to risk it late at night because I have to get to work by 6 am the next day. Maybe on Friday and Saturday nights, I won't have a problem with doing that then to splurge. 

Launching Off Side Business

Basically the motto of my side business is proper money management and self-control. It's so important to tough it out when things are a little rough and to keep on trying your best to focus on making money! The business you choose to be in also has to be something you have come to terms with and aligns with your personal ideals. It took me awhile but I figure that what I'm doing really makes sense for my own personality. I think I am pretty unique now despite having started out crazy like the rest of them! 

I'm really satisfied with what I want to work hard to achieve now. Making enough money from being employed is just from being lucky, so might as well stay nice and hard-working to the owners and co-workers until your time to leave them is set in motion! The workers who aren't known for being that nice and causing frustrations or annoyances are just plain crazy like my boss. I will be happy to leave him someday. There's more motivation for me to do well but mainly because I think this is fun and will bring me a lot of happiness and wiggle room to relax in the end while doing more meaningful things with my time. 

Dealing With Negative Emotions

I think pretty much the negativity within me could be built up from being around others who make comments that don't feel really good to be aware of. In a sense, this is really a crazy state of mind to be in! I believe this is the case with others while I was bothering them while sounding so silly. It's just the impression that you give off to them which could end up scaring them, regardless of what you are saying or doing. My verbal attacks thrown at them were always minor but it still drove them nuts in a short amount of time. I wasn't controlling my anger that well and being a little reckless about sending them crazy messages that didn't flow well with them just to give myself one-sided and highly selfish laughs. They basically freaked out and thought the mature thing to do was quietly shutting down my fun, since they were concerned about confronting me head on. When I approached them, they ended up becoming ballistic because they didn't want to talk about it. 

Next time in this instance, I have a reason to continue with coming across as a jerk to them by calling them crazy and explaining it in words and just talking about the consequences of how they won't really solve anything by continuing to be that way. It's basically just to test myself to see how much of a people person I really am and can get along with these people who just had it with me. It's over not a really big matter that doesn't originate from something that deals with them too. I might as well just talk about the origin with them and let others overhear it and judge for themselves. In the end, I believe it's going to be their loss for every negativity that they continue holding on to and from not being able to expand a bit out of their comfort zone. 

With all else, it's clinging on to strong effort from every part of my mind, body, and soul while tapping into the Lord's knowledge and connecting with personal experience much as possible. I think it's safe to say that I don't have problems with being a brave soul in this area and risking the destruction of my own public image. Basically, my main trick is to continue thinking they are crazy because I just don't have the ability to lose it with those types and feeling bad for them while getting the work done I feel is necessary with them. I have a deep conviction and want to always confirm how this connects to my faith in the Lord. 

Overall, I'm ready but what's really holding me back is that I have to fulfill a couple oaths that are tied to my personal goals first. This shouldn't be really no surprise but I'm committed to fulfilling them! After all, I don't think I'll send this post to someone I had in mind of despite it potentially being a powerfully scary write-up. 

Things to do Today

It's pretty cool in that I'm about setting up a happy routine and hopefully someday, I'll be able to experience a life of freedom with plenty of money at my hands to give freely to the world for making it a better place! Yeah, I'm pretty weird in that I don't mind giving back, but I will be careful about who I give it to. I don't believe in giving out free handouts to people and how you have to face the fiery trial to earn something that you are seeking. 

I don't even want to work for people who have a lot of money too. I guess some people are different with their own interests, and I happened to have just come out this way. I want to enjoy a lot of personal time having fun along with the right partner now. I don't mind if I stay just friends with the lady I fall in love with, but it looks like it could be that way right now with my best friend. She's not able to do a lot of things because of her health issues and stress management, but I really like her as a person still. We have plenty of good communication, while I have no problems staying courteous with her while throwing in a joke or two. For example, I plan to give her a nice hug and lift her up while twisting my body a little for fun. I'll tell her that I haven't seen her in so long and it's good to see her. I just want to try out this move for fun on a girl smaller than me. Overall, I seem to be doing fine with the two main ladies I have a chance with so far. I realize that they can feel very attractive, but it's not about the appearance for me anymore. It's about just being able to fall in love with each other and being happy while accepting each other's flaws.    

Pulling Through Yesterday

I ended up getting tired and could have kept myself awake longer by drinking some caffeinated tea or cup of coffee but I decided against it. I ended up playing by watching a few anime episodes. For my list of tasks, I ended up playing some more online Poker, doing some stretches, and getting my shower in. 

The growing taller stretches are working out quite nicely for me in that it's really helping to straighten out my back after a long day of sitting at the office in front of my computer. I'm doing it more for health benefits now with the possible growth that could be added as a bonus. Basically, it's killing two birds in one stone and is pretty smart while I'm sure not a lot of people have ever pondered about it!

This time I would like to lay off of the Poker action and work on getting my trades in now and watching an anime episode here and there in between. I still do have to work on running a few more calculations to ensure I wager the right amount that I'm looking to invest. 

What's pretty cool is that these side businesses are something I could get a lot of significant reward back from putting in maybe two hours a day at most. This is the ideal life of being an independent and wealthy professional!  On top of that, I'm looking to take some cycling, yoga, and weight training classes at the local UFC gym. The gym has opened back up now after the Covid-19 pandemic. Lastly, I would like to also start cooking. Overall, it looks like my to-do list is starting to get really comprehensive and focused for me. 

Motivation for Side Business

My side business that I have chosen to go into is investing and playing online Poker cash table games. I'm not putting all my money into something and only spending what I could afford to lose, so in a way I'm taking a gamble and don't mind whatever happens because I'm comfortable with trying hard to do well for myself. As long as I can manage my finances right now and pay off some bills, I have a comfortable amount for myself to work with right now. We will see how well I end up doing for myself, now that I'm ready.

I basically just want to have a lot of free time to myself and plenty of money to acquire a nice home with a pool and then not having to go into any office while owning a couple decent cars for traveling places in the world with someone good like my best lady friend. I guess I can call her my best friend right now, since she's cool with me and likes to call me and talk about whatever is bugging her sometimes!  We're travel buddies too and I guess we're seeing each other at an unofficial level. There's no status between us and I have left it wide open without attempting to chase after my best friend. Yet, I do love her dearly though and care about her happiness.  

I can see myself chasing after the right lady for myself and doing it wisely without projecting my wealth onto her. I have had enough hardships to appreciate the values of saving and working hard at something while staying disciplined to get somewhere. My mind is pretty satisfied these days and getting married to a fine lady will be like adding icing to the cake! 

When I look at it, my time is running out with the thought of having kids because I don't want to be too old. Maybe with my own partner, I could settle with adopting kids or get a couple cute pets to take care of. There's so much fun I could imagine myself doing with the extra time and money, since I don't hold grudges with anyone. It's mainly about just putting in the hard work and having a positive mindset while knowing this is what you are looking for in life.

Moving Forward

I guess I'm just going to write on here about how I'm progressing now with putting in actual money for trading stocks and currency in the Forex market. I've been practicing trading the Forex market for awhile now, and it's something I'm comfortable with now. I'm putting in $1000 to start out and so it's not too bad on my savings if I end up losing it all. 

Along with Internet Poker, I'm putting in roughly $100 and trading it with bitcoins legally. It's pretty cool in a sense because the withdrawal is fast and free for the site that is offering it. It's also a unique way of working with getting paid any profit I make without the hassle of having to get it cleared at the bank. 

Lastly, I have put in $1900 to start out right now with doing stocks. I'm also going to diversify another $3100 once I get the core portfolio that I want set up. It looks like I'm now going in motion, while pretty comfortable with wagering this amount. Underneath my psyche, I'm happy and feeling confident about doing really well for myself. My goal is to be a millionaire by the end of this year, and I know I'm going to fail but it doesn't matter to me. I will still hold myself to high standards with good moral conduct. 

Overall, it looks like my starting capital is going to be $6100 for my side business. I'm excited about doing this and working towards securing a financially independent future. I am also a moderate risk taker and very comfortable with it. For now, this is my comfort level but who knows it could change to being more careful later on if I end up doing well for myself. I'm okay with contributing this much compared to my current salary and if this model I'm following ends up working out then I'm going to be putting in much as I can. 

I totally enjoy just letting it run and going with the ups and downs while in the end settling for a nice averaged out and good profit. This is how investors trade, but I am also a swing trader and Poker player with my own system now. 

Motivation for Posting

What's pretty insane is that my writing is in a way, its own work of art. It will never be the same if I was to try to write the same thing over again. I find myself going back to read some of my posts that ended up becoming a little popular with the readers. I do have a tracker of how many reads I get per post, and it's like my own mission to get huge read counts. I don't really seem to be bothered anymore to not get comments from anyone. 

I think what ended up happening is that I gained a lot of confidence while being sure of myself. When I answer questions on Quora, I make sure that I pick something that I'm comfortable with having some decent knowledge or experience in. I try to be very honest about it and my topic is on programming or how to begin in Computer Science so opinions can vary, and I'm already doing pretty well being a developer myself now, so it's like I write the best answers for mainly myself but I am attracting a following of readers every once in awhile. It's pretty cool to have someone in the world interested in what I have to say about a topic. I'm not changing my honest approach up, while trying to add in a bit of intellectual and hidden humor. 

My lengthy posts can be entertaining for me personally, and I don't know if there's really people out there who can see perfectly eye to eye with me on anything I write because I can be shaky about it with myself. It's just practice I guess in communication and is pretty fun to contribute something like I'm trying to give back after all the struggles I've been through!

Update for Yesterday

I did manage to finally sign up for doing some serious stocks and then watched a few outrageously funny anime episodes. I took a shower and don't remember if I brushed my teeth or not and then laid down. Whenever I'm sleepy and I lay down, I just have to remember now that I'm not getting back up. This just means that I'm going to have to just push myself to finish up whatever I have in mind.

The attitude is definitely important and having a positive mind is the best! There's no need to think all pushy with oneself and make it even harder to continue the next time. Everything went according to plan yesterday, except I just missed out on doing some growing taller stretches. This is something I will need to add on before I go to sleep. 

Maintaining Positive Attitude

It's become a lot easier for me to hang in there from having accepted things in the past and not being angry about them anymore. Even with new things that come up or unwanted reminders of the past, I'm still able to accept all of it lately. This makes it so much easier to focus on staying positive and on tasks that I wish to complete. I don't feel so burdened by it anymore, even if I'm just another short guy.

In other words, I'm capable of studying anything I'm interested in without ever feeling disheartened about not getting it. It's a nice turn of events for me now, and it's just so awesome how powerful having a positive attitude really is.  

Happy 4th of July!!!

I'm writing this post while being ahead by 22 days. It's been a pretty crazy year to experience as a whole since a black man dying from being murdered by a policeman on video has rallied several crowds during this pandemic. Young people must also have a lot of time on their hands from not having work to do things like this. 

I guess now that's done and over with, so moving on to bigger things. From a personal level, this Covid-19 scare really concerned me from having regular headaches while living at home. I ended up getting myself tested and the results turned out to be negative so I'm totally fine and have a better understanding of my symptoms with getting these migraines now. I feel more assured now to start getting more lively with a few trusted friends I dearly regard as venues are starting to open back up. 

I'm looking to plan a fun year with my friend who I care the most about, along with going after getting rich by the end of this year. I'm pretty serious about it too and will make a valiant effort and not back down when I ever need to make a comeback! 

Future Planning

After having figured out what was making me so mad and how to get rid of it, I feel a lot more sure of myself. It's crazy how just feeling and accepting that others are also crazy for anything negative I feel with them, the anger ends up being driven away. It's my personal secret that I'm sharing with any reader who has managed to read this post.  

I feel a lot more confident and happier to go on with living my life. This anger was actually bugging me for almost ten years, and it finally came around to see its resolution. I'm so lucky to have a taste of personal victory! I feel like I'm armed with a secret weapon in dealing with people who I skillfully hide my anger or annoyance from. It's just from thinking to myself that they are crazy, I can get around to getting what I came for with them!  

I have a personal promise with the Lord in visiting that crazy church again once I hit my millionaire mark and get some six pack abs. These are two of my biggest dreams that I'm working on. For becoming a millionaire, the heck with it! I will work hard at becoming one by the end of this year! It doesn't matter that I will fail. I can always review my actions and keep on improving. I don't think my friends will take me that seriously from having said it too many times already, so I'll just keep this to myself. 

I have a goal in place and it's what I'm working at achieving now. I'm not in any rush nor panicking about it. Those people I came across may be weird and crazy to me but I hope they end up improving as a whole. I totally accept that they are crazy already. I'm not playing any active role there but it's going to be fun for me with having more playing cards to use on them at my final go-around with them in the near future.   

Work and Reward System

Since I enjoy having fun or relaxing while letting my mind wander off after focusing on something for awhile, it only makes sense to dedicate myself to hard work until I reach a certain goal and then have fun while I'm satisfied. This model seems to work the best for me. It's like running every Saturday morning 8+ miles under 90 minutes because just completing it is the rewarding and fun aspect! 

From having watched a lot of anime about a lot of ladies at the same time chasing after only one lucky man, my view on relationships with lady friends have loosened up more positively! I'm more lenient about how they view things and behave around me. The fact that I'm friends with them really helps me realize that I'm grateful and appreciative of their company. My conclusion is that I've always had a chance with a couple of my best lady friends. One of them is questionably still single and I've found my opening with her, so I'm comfortable about how she truly is and she doesn't hold back either. 

It's really just how you make it out to be while being a gentleman and showing interest in them I guess. There's really no right or wrong formula- just be your honest self and then don't get too weird or over-confident about them spending time with you. 

Getting Over the Dumb Efforts

Honestly, I was capable of doing a lot of things but there are these hidden reasons. For my best lady friend, she used to work out a lot but then her body just couldn't handle it at a certain point so she was forced to revert back to her starting point. She gets a little stubborn and just puts off on stuff but at least she's really open about telling me things she isn't interested in. I'm not going to be a jerk and keep on pressing it. I'm very open about understanding how she is and I do care about her a great amount, while she likes to hang out with me.  

Yeah, it's really nice to have someone like that in my life to look forward to seeing! I don't think appearances matter so much to me anymore as long as I don't have to be a judge about it and stay comfortable with her. In a group, I don't mind about any color and shape she comes in. I'm just happy to be me and hang out with them. It just doesn't matter to me and is all about socializing while having fun and being nice about it with everyone there. I do struggle a little with being short underneath still and always will but that's my own kryptonite to carry and persevere while having a positive attitude about it with confidence and just snapping out of it whenever it tries to kill me.