Better Time Management

I think what isn't working is me just going home and relaxing while watching shows after dinner. It's just not satisfying enough for me. 

I'm going to analyze a buddy who has trouble finding a girlfriend. He has said that he enjoys being single to avoid all the headaches that girls can give him. He still goes around looking for dates and has had a few first dates that never went anymore. 

I think the main reason why he's unsuccessful with women is because he isn't attractive to begin with and doesn't make the right improvements that are necessary. Another friend and his evil twin who sort of have average good looks have some mental problems that affect their attitude and ability to initiate and maintain a long-term relationship. 

I've finally managed to overcome those obstacles, along with maintaining a decent happy balance to now be able to raise a family better than my parents did with me. First off, I'm not that shallow anymore and have been looking more for a high quality connection along with some common interests we can enjoy together. I'm very cool about settling as just friends because I can't really get tired of making new female friends who turn out to be amazing! I'm able to separate those selfish romantic desires that are going to be inappropriate and even not give into them when there's a window of opportunity after figuring out the big picture. I want a strong relationship that isn't just composed of physical attraction because I don't even need a girl to look a certain way for me to be in any romantic mood. 

Reaching Wealth and Glory by Myself

Since I'm a little short, I have figured out finally that I'm going to have a little harder time finding women to date. I don't really mind because I think of my height as filtering out shallow women already. In a natural sense, young women do start out as pretty shallow about height when it comes to dating. It can be looked at from the angle of natural selection. 

The majority of men who have girlfriends or wives in the world are taller than me! This qualifies me to be a short man. I accept how women are dating and marrying these taller men more than short guys and don't want to run away from it! It's sort of a numbers game as well and just how women must feel instinctually before falling in love since it's been already theorized that dating a tall enough man might make them feel more feminine and secure while being happy based on height alone!

A Bible verse states that man will judge upon looks while God always cares about what's going on in the heart! (! Samuel 16:7).  

There are also fewer women out there who don't care about height that much. I think these women are the ones who would be worth dating more even if I was tall to begin with, so since I'm short already it sort of gives me a better opportunity to ask women out and land someone who isn't so shallow or concerned about their man's height. Landing this type of woman with the right compatible personality will be like striking it better than earning all the gold in the world for me. 

To make preparations for this, I've learned to not be so shallow myself over women's appearances. 

What I Want to Do

It looks like I am very confident in myself now that I'm a bona fide sane individual! While still dwelling on the subject, the stupid people I dealt with were absolute imbeciles with paranoid thoughts and couldn't think straight. No wonder they haven't been able to influence and be totally successful people that mostly everyone can look up to. They were the ones trying to do me more harm by telling me what to do and focusing on something else that was wrong. This is just what I want to believe and argue about while being happy to release it by just talking about it whenever I'm in the mood. 

It becomes a lot easier to be agreeable when you are humbled by a better individual and who accepts for what he is. You have to try to always look at the big picture and think about what it is that you desire and work for it.

Something that I've gained personally is becoming comfortable about always working hard while not wearing myself out. It's a great personal commodity to have. From struggling to deal with stuff, there's something in the form of being a gigantic, ecstatic satisfaction to experience underneath when you reach the finish line after seeing the light in a dark tunnel and making it to the end. 

Going into Little Detail

I basically want to experience freedom in all five categories. They are time, money, relationships, physical, and spiritual. This is what it truly means to me in being an enlightened millionaire. I have become just another student in this way of life. I totally identify with it. 

I want to start reading like a bookworm and expand on my knowledge by doing software engineering and business development. I want to try growing taller naturally by trying out controversial things that don't harm the body at all! It's just time and money that could feel like a waste but at least the things I've been researching promote being more healthy and thinking kinder about yourself. It's one thing that is truly great to always do even if there are plenty of lame brains out there who disagree and want to be lazy and set in their own ways. 

The people at that old church have some mental problems. I now see it and don't mind confronting them about it because it deals with me personally. At the same time, I believe that I can find better people than them, so I don't mind debating while attacking their personal character and trying to force them to change for the better. At the same time, I'm going to be accepting of how they just are and let them know about it while saying that I know I can be better than them and find better people at the same time. I'm already ready to move on, but the only condition is that the church no longer exists at that same location and they moved to another address. This is why I'm taking my time to get to them. I have made a cool promise with God before getting around to deal with them. Becoming a millionaire with six-pack abs. I don't care how long it takes but once I reach it, I'll be ready for a wild ride.

Some people have mental issues and can't handle the length of time it takes. I don't care because I'm better than these people. 

What I'm Aiming For

It looks like I'm not really living up to my full potential in my free time. I really want to blame it all on my parents for being the selfish and rotten kid that I want to feel like at the moment. Honestly, I think they truly sucked at parenting and I can do better than them if it ever happens to me.

I accept all of this now with happiness and no regret in my thinking. I'm normally shorter than people who others might think of as being short in general. Being a guy, people in general are going to be judgemental about my height when it comes to the dating world with plenty of insecure ladies who want to be swept up in that happy fairy tale relationship. It's just the way it is and I was given a short end of the stick. I'm totally fine with it, since I've learned to be happy with where I'm at. 

I think I can still do better than all of those ladies combined in this world, along with my few good female friends. I really think I can obtain something great in a relationship and better than most people. I think I can do better in general than a lot of people. These friends were never good enough for me anyway when it came to dating.  

It's just going to take me a long time and this is probably what a lot of people will have some trouble dealing with. I even had a hard time myself while doing it all solo. What really changed my mentality around is just accepting the facts with positivity and putting in the focus whenever I can do it to get better. 

Main Things to Work on

I'm realizing that I feel these weird romantic feelings for a close friend. She's not really my type, and being physically attracted to her has already passed. What's weird is that I wasn't really that into her when I met her and hung out with her out of the blue. I was more into her outgoing personality and considered a serious relationship down the road. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of her as just a friend. I think I can find someone better than her. These instinctual feelings of wanting to kiss her are weird and something I will never give a thought about committing to ever.

If I fall in love with a good woman now, I want it to be because it's really all about just her and the timing was right. My other close buddy is just too weird for me to even want to analyze her love life. I think she's still cool to hang out with, but she isn't that mentally stable. I do like how she manages to stay humble and has a therapist. With some of the things she likes to talk about, I feel comfortable opening up with her about my life completely. This is probably why she's my true buddy and it's like she's been the only one I can talk to and have great conversations with about life. 

Real Things

I have been curious to explore more about my physical attraction with women. I'm not going to lie in that I find busty and slim women to look incredibly hot. I don't know if they are in good health though, like they could be fragile. I also don't know if they are crazy or insecure about the people they want to date. 

Despite the attraction, it's just like eye candy to me and there's really no relationship so it doesn't make sense for me personally to pursue after them out of just that feeling. I don't need to be selfish and have them always make me feel happy like they are some sort of trophy to collect! They are still people who have an appearance that I like in a shallow manner. I don't even know if this is a good thing for me, considering how they could have bad people obsessed about them. 

I'm in good mental health now and almost at an all time high. I'm not interested in looks anymore and would like to marry someone who has the personality I'm definitely pleased with. My other close friend who has the qualities I look for in a partner isn't really all that great of a person to always be around. She whines too much about her personal insecurities, but remains a good person for me to just hang out with. I think I can be with someone better than her too!  

Accepting Reason for Grinding

Being with a beautiful woman is probably not going to last forever. Her beauty is going to fade over time. What's more important is that I want to be happy being with the person all the days and still be fully attracted and in love. The outer appearance doesn't seem to be important to me anymore. If anyone wants to go around saying offensive things about me being short behind my back or in person to me then it's a joke and they are being stupid. I don't really care and they should go see a therapist if they want to keep on bothering and are upset by something. 

Anyway since there are more taller people out there than me, I'm more unique as a guy. I think I'm a hidden catch underneath from being grounded on having a great personality and self-improvement on everything pertaining to me while not being so shallow and insecure anymore. 

The main thing for grinding is to make a living and invest my earnings to go on promoting a better life for myself. 

Staying Focused on Being Balanced

I'm really thinking to myself that being with an absolutely stunning woman might not be all that it's cut it to be. Having both looks and personality isn't really that important to me anymore. I'll stick with her personality. I just don't want to be so selfish, insecure, and shallow anymore because I wasn't born to be tall. I think everything about me is okay, except that I might have stunted my average growth from having a mental illness during my puberty. This may be a concern, but I did lead myself to fully recover. I blame my parents for having had to deal with it!  

Stressing out about something shallow like that isn't going to help with good mental stability anyway. I've learned to accept it and just smile when I'm around taller people and they will be the majority. I'm not really taking the negativity so seriously anymore and something I find myself having to struggle a little bit sometimes. Maybe some people don't really struggle with this insecurity at all, which is how I want to eventually become. It's not really worth wasting my precious energy focusing on it for shallow reasons. I want to focus on what God has in store for me and to work on natural things to stay balanced. I'm still pretty curious though if I can get taller just for fun and I have done exercises in my mid twenties to permanently grow half an inch taller and also one of my cousins in high school did the same to end up being a tall Asian in my family but average American height. 

My parents want to blame me for not getting married, but I'm going to just blame them more instead now and accept my crazy and controlling parents. I'm going to just open up more to them. I really need to move out of their place and the reason why I haven't been able to do it any sooner is because I want to save up enough money to own a decent property that I can handle without stressing too much over the bills. If they can't stand me and kick me out, then I'll deal with it and have a bigger reason to succeed faster. 

I haven't also focused enough like I am doing now to make the money. I'm now into doing it more seriously than ever. 

Making a Solid Attempt

It's starting to make sense with my time management. I think it's more complete but I'm going to be humble about it and be open to improvement. My personal mantra is self-confidence, positivity, and hard work. 

I've added a powerful amendment to the mantra which will probably help me conquer my issues on time management. It's to focus on the things that are most important to you. This originates from the idea that 15% of the things you decide to do will be responsible for 85% of your results. 

It's starting to make sense with this whole relying on the Holy Spirit business even though I'm still far from perfect. I'm glad Jesus is always working in my life as I'm starting to become receptive to my full Bible audio app. 

Being Happy While Grinding

There's this feeling of negativity that comes up from not having someone to date yet. I believe that I will find her someday and even if it never happens, I'm still going to be happy with myself. This is the resolve that I found in me, so I am able to smile and be brave about manning up about my concern of being sad. I've just come to accept it and be happy wherever I am at and to just let out what needs to be said pertaining to me when it feels unreasonable. 

For the time being with the female peers I'm hanging out with, they are truly my buddies. When it comes to thinking about dating them, I believe I can date someone better than them. I'm not worried about bringing it up when it's appropriate or something they say referencing dating makes me feel belittled and ticks me off! It's because I'm pretty laid back and realize that we get along so well together as friends that I'm continuing to hang out with them and have this deep platonic relationship with them. I can't see them like sisters either because I'm too sensitive about it and already have a little sister. 

Adding onto Self-improvement

I don't really feel let down anymore to negative criticism. I mean why wouldn't it make one feel testy over it. I do it to others as well and have done it without knowing what I was doing. It's basically setting yourself up to live and die by the sword emotionally if you care about having a relationship with them. In a sense, this is what it means to grow as a person and picking up on the most effective techniques to realize your dreams with them.

I feel like I've conquered a lot lately and am capable of keeping this positive momentum building. I would really like to do something that affects others positively and something they see for themselves that they can do as well while being aware of the things they need to work on and can't really blame me for. 

Working Towards Preferred Strategies

I'm starting to eyeball a convenient strategy where I care about doing a set and go method while holding on as long as possible. In a highly volatile market, this could mean fast return rates while not stressing out as much and committing so much time while staring at a screen and gambling on mixed emotions. 

I'm growing totally accustomed to this method and trying to minimize my risks while increasing my monthly rate of profit. I have been looking at the weekly, daily, and 4-hour charts with the 4-hour being my point of entry and exit. It feels exciting to finally make a possible connection with how any market is performing based on my indicators. 

Raising Money on the Side

I've found out that I want to become rich through investing and trading as fast as possible. I want to do this while also being safe and not trying to gamble. I want low risk and high reward scenarios without having to put in that much effort. To get there, I've bought into an investing group that mentors me with free essays on tips of improving and a lifetime subscription of stock recommendations with backed research that I can trust. 

I'm testing out new techniques while being open to continuing to improve my craft. It's only a matter of time before it all comes together for me. My net worth is gradually growing profitably though. It's pretty much about the art of compounding that has to go into effect. However, this isn't recommended in the crypto world because of its highly volatile and speculative nature. I plan to manage my assets properly once I grow my personal portfolio to $100,000. This isn't counting my current 401K which is only half of my target. It could ideally be in a few years, but I want this to happen sooner rather than later. I'm not going to get so irrational about all this anymore. I'm getting used to this waiting game anyway and trying to take initiatives. 

It also looks like I've taken up speed reading as a hobby. As long as I get inspired and get something out of it, I can slow down and review it whenever there's something I want to work on. I think I'm also going to add in taking my time with getting my own customized Master's degree as a software engineer. It's just going to be grinding on something, since I don't expect my trading and investing sessions to be that long if I need something that I can enjoy working on to keep myself occupied. I also need to find myself a good girlfriend now, too. 

Show Must Go On

For myself, I'm now realizing happiness while accepting the situation I'm in. I'm willing to work on the things that are most important to me and let the chips eventually fall into place, even if it never happens. I have the healthy mindset that I've always wanted now. 

It's just a matter of time before I figure it out with becoming a rich person and start living the full life that I've envisioned for myself with all this free time. The Lord is my Shepherd and strength in times of uncertainty and lacking anything. 

What I Wrote to the Woman Who Messaged Me About if God has Put Marriage on My Heart

You said if God has put it on my heart with getting married, then I should focus on it. Yes, it's confirmed He has. At first, I had some insecurities and was also shallow about my future wife having to appear a certain way but in the Lord's eyes, all of that doesn't matter to Him. 

Unlike how several people are in this world with being shallow, insecure, or in between, none of that exists in the Lord's heart. He loves us for who He truly made us to be for Him! Jesus is our shield of refuge and sanctuary when the Enemy attacks us with lies and persecution. 

With you having to add me on Facebook, I don't really care about forcing you to stick a finger in rat poop. I'm visualizing how you feel about guiding your mouse and then clicking on the screen that says "Accept"! 

I'm saving it for the head honcho Lee who is the ringleader of the troubles she started while she was in the flesh. It's so sickening to me, like she was being a scornful Cannanite. I'll be working my way down from the top of that chain-of-command so someone can take Crazy Lee's place if Crazy Lee isn't able to from having moved on. My location is just that church. It could very well be no longer in existence which would be cool like they moved on to a different address! I'm not going to be in pursuit, since I learned to be mainly happy in myself and also in the Lord as well from time to time no matter what happens to me. I'm a lucky guy underneath to always feel this positive energy from having worked for it.

What I Wrote to Crazy Lee

You basically went along with Chris Kuch by saying that I was overshadowing others and causing people to leave. Well, Chris left and you guys didn't leave at the same time with me around so you guys were already contradicting yourselves. You said that you had authority over me. You had to go through the trouble of putting a restraining order on me, so no you don't have it. Also the restraining order got off, so it shows that your ideas are like a ripped off joke. 

This is what I want from you and if you don't, I'm going to find a substitute person. I figured out what I want to be satisfied with. By the time I reach my goal, I promised God that I was going to do it someday and this is just because I'm going to still be happy even if I never reach it. I'm going to come visit and be all about conducting business while I remind others how bad you already look. I'm not going to be playing around so nicely, so it might not be a good idea to confront me or else I'm going to end up making that person look like a fool too. The less of a hassle you guys make it for me, the easier it is for me but I don't mind because I'm still going to have fun regardless but it's going to be you guys having a harder time with me. 

I'm only targeting one person and it's the head honcho. Congratulations, you made the top of my list. I'm going to be working my way down and still be happy if you aren't available to be targeted. I only need one unlike you being selfish and saying you wanted three. Three months and I gave you two-in-a-half. It shows how immature you were to begin with at not understanding my subtle protest. I thought you were an understanding woman with your psychology degree, but I guess not and just some crazy person with a stupid agenda that's about to get exposed. Luckily, I know I can make you look really bad but it's probably not going to have serious consequences. It's just you or someone else who is going to have a hard time. 

I want you to add me on any social media or I'll even exchange numbers with you and make sure it's confirmed before moving on. You are going to find out how I will really leave you alone then, so all your stupid and paranoid thoughts about me will just be on you for the rest of your life until you forget about it. 

Also, it's possible you will be like whatever or ignore this email. Be like that if you want to because I'll be coming around someday. I will let you know that I sent this email to you already and laugh while keeping a copy of this so I can resend for you to read it. Your support which I took liberty to put and they are everybody you should be associated with and possibly considered your side more in the beginning on that list is not likely to be of any help to you. You guys are the lost cause in this situation. MU HU HA HA HA HA!  

P.S. I'm truly glad you guys lost in the end. It was meant to be and you guys did it to yourselves. Go see a therapist if you are still too troubled by it. 

Getting Subtle Hints

I'm honestly convinced that a former coworker liked me in a cute way. She was down to earth and very polite, but has the ethnicity that's scorned by the older generation of my race. I don't really care about it, but I was still uncomfortable about trying to date her because I felt like I didn't have the financial means yet to stand up to my dad who is the boss and a superficial purist when it comes to preserving the bloodline. 

I feel like my hands are tied down and that I have to obey him even if I don't believe it. I'm mad from being afraid that I'm going to have a hard time financially and don't really want to put that on myself. I'm sorry to write this, but she just wasn't worth it enough for me yet. 

I did ask to hang out with her before she moved on to a better job, but she declined. I was interested in being friends with her, but I know that she was uncomfortable with it. Another buddy of mine who is pretty weird but was regularly pursued by guys when she was hotter a few years ago likes to reply by smiling and then saying that it's her loss!

The thing though is that if I work really smart enough then maybe I'll be able to get rich quicker and have the means to live an enlightened millionaire's life. 

I wouldn't have to put up with my parent's negativity because I'm totally against compensating for all of those superficial and/or insecure concerns. I've learned to look on the inside of a woman and primarily appreciate it more in regards to the ideal partner I'm looking for. However, it doesn't hurt that getting in that physical mood is still working and will stay consistent. 

Finding Better Balance

I honestly want to make a lot of passive income so I can just go ahead and have the freedom to enjoy my life and work on whatever with the five types of personal freedom. To summarize briefly, you can achieve freedom in time, money, relationships, spirituality, and physicality. With the natural drive and attempt to form a profitable plan, it's given me a nice purpose to look forward to everyday. 

I'm certainly not that lucky and talented enough to be recognized at the very top right now. Maybe I had a chance academically while growing up but I wasn't looking to find any mentors since I started out as very sensitive to others from wanting to be a people pleaser. I was pretty much frightened of people acting out in any mean behavior with me. This ended up happening to me so I was practically forced to face my worst fear in dealing with some people I knew including my parents. I get it with how some acquaintances became mean towards me over something that wasn't supposed to be that important to begin with and acted impulsively. For example, I'm pointing at Crazy Lee! 

The good thing is that I have become better equipped to handle those circumstances. It started with just choosing to be myself and then being blunt with all my silly and dumb antagonists! It hasn't got me in any trouble with the law so far because I always want to do my best to align with the ways of the Holy Bible since my personal faith in Jesus is going to remain forever.  

Practically, to close all of this out, I have concluded that this enjoyable pastime is about working to achieve personal success and happiness while conducting business in just people interactions as the currency with the Lord as my Shepherd! 

Ready to Make Some Money

My style of trading is still swing trading and for investing, I'm becoming more of the traditional buy and hold type of person. Besides trying to consistently gun for holding onto every small profit gained with day trading, I think it's better to make the effort to relax and average it out to a nice profit in the long term. This is about staying in the system and going for affording a better lifestyle for myself. 

Some friends don't seem to get it as well as they should, but I do know someone who seems to be doing great with daytrading. I'm just not comfortable enough with that type of style. I want freedom of my time to enjoy a relationship with my significant other and travel while working on cool projects or volunteering to benefit this world!  

Making Positive Strives

I'm starting to notice how I can feed off of motivating myself to do even better from being salty related to how I think others view me. I'm not a huge fan of feeling looked down upon for dating, and I get this from being called like a brother or from hearing some shallow or insecure remarks.. 

As a result, I feel like just pushing harder since I have the confidence I need now. I honestly feel like I have at least average human genes. I think I just have something to prove and would like to find out. It's just taking me longer to get there because it took me a while to get a grip of myself. It's definitely dealing with self-discipline and personal happiness with some good feelings about fulfillment and morality. 

Staying Inspired

I honestly want to do my best to work hard at all times, since I enjoy making money consistently while doing something that just interests me. I feel fortunate that I finally got to this position, but it's not all bells and whistles. There are times where you just have to grind, and I guess it does help with putting in all that work and coming up with something that's genius or to improve upon it. 

I guess it's just plowing through to get to a personal goal while staying constantly happy with myself no matter what happens. This is pretty much how I try to always live my life. I'm grateful for my faith in Jesus! 

Investigating Personal Thoughts

I feel like I'm back to being on fire while feeling really secure with myself. My confidence level is really high. These days I've learned that regardless of whatever happens, it's okay to always make the most of it by thinking positively. It's probably fueled automatically from my belief in Jesus dying on the cross for me though.

A saying goes that all the ill in us comes from a source of fear and all the good comes from love. It seems like when I'm mad sometimes, it's because I want the person to also do well. Maybe it's something being done out of love or it could be that I'm afraid of being let down and don't want it to happen again. It could be a mixture of both, which would still qualify as being bad anyway.  

Message I Sent to Crummy Peers

"I want just one social media connection from you. It doesn't matter how active you are on it. This is just to symbolically tell me you are at peace with me. Otherwise, you can't. You sided with [Crazy] Lee and I don't care even if I did some wrong but turns out I didn't. Yippee! I did nothing and won."

I even sent this to Crazy Lee herself and changed the word Lee to yourself. I feel sad for them to the point now that I recommend they should go see a therapist! They actually are forced to read it since it's a social media platform that allows for a potential connection. Also, my profile there is awesome and eye-catching. They can't even reject me and I feel like they see themselves dealing with purgatory. It's still on pending after all this time!

Focusing on Most Important Things

I'm starting to want to be on time for work on a regular basis. I'm going to have to wake up a little more early to have enough time to do what I've set myself to doing every morning. I honestly want to become better.

Looks like Crazy Lee is going to be taking all the wrap now for causing me some temporary distress over nonsense with the past church group from a long time ago. I think she was acting more like a troll with me, but I don't think it was her intention. It's a done deal now and I can comfortably attend another weird small church if it ever gets there. I don't really see eye to eye with the old church now that I think about it, so I'm meaning to tell them that I want to walk away from them in peace while staying friendly to them in the real world if we ever get assigned to work together on something important. 

Reaching Goal Faster

From the interesting book I've been reading, I agree with how reaching success at a quicker pace requires focusing on the top 15% of the most important objectives to reach 85% of the way. This is pretty much getting it done most of the way. 

The next step is to find mentors and then finally, create a dream team to help carry you to the next level. 

I'm finding out that my mentors will help me out from reading their books or attending one of their masterclasses. My dream team will come from third parties or a few lucky people I decide to hire.  

Personal Understanding of Profitable Swing Trade Strategy

My idea for entering a swing trade involves three things: 1) buy low or sell high whenever there's enough expected volatility, 2) trade in the direction of established main trend, and 3) set an appropriate stop loss to a local support or resistance level.

I pretty much have those three things going now while checking three time frames at once. 

I am currently exiting with a loss or profit whenever the minimum time frame window I'm on projects that a new trend is oncoming. So far I'm turning a profit and it has been pretty minimal work. 

I see that in the long run the wins will outweigh the losses 

Being Happy With Things You Can't Get

Not being able to achieve things the way you intended is obviously going to make a lot of selfish people angry. They should all go see a therapist.

I've learned something valuable in that I can learn to be happy even if things don't go in my favor anymore. I'm willing to keep on working hard for something and even if I never achieve the goal I had in mind, I'll still be happy with myself and move on to other things as required. 

What caused a lot of personal drawbacks was from lacking self-confidence while seeing myself as a low-level shorty. I was still able to grind it out while being able to be a little better than normal but my heart never felt at ease. I finally managed to jump over this hurdle. 

Another one is really being indoctrinated with such negative and discriminating views from my parents. They immigrated to this country and have done well enough to be upper-middle so I really place the blame on them for not making them happy with me. They just kept on working and never really spent much time teaching me the ropes in a positive and loving manner. I really had to fend for myself while coping with being sensitive. 

If good fortune happens to me now and I do land up with a good wife and kids someday, then I'm going to dedicate myself to doing a better job than what my parents did. Basically, the advice I have to give anyone that caused an internal ruckus for me and still feel antagonistic towards me over anything is to go see a therapist. 

Getting Ready to Move On

Looks like my coworker who I had a crush on for mainly the right reasons like her super sweet personality and politeness is moving on now from this job. She found something better. I ended up asking her to just hang out when it's her last week here after work and she said that she might get too busy. I don't know if this is her way of saying that she's not interested. It's pretty hard to tell because she's very polite.

I just want to ask her if she's already taken now. I think by doing this it just makes me naturally want to respect her more, regardless of the outcome. Moving forward, I do want to be hangout buddies with her at least so that's why I asked her out. 

Prioritizing With Grinding

I think I need to start getting better with grinding it out and spending time on more of the things that I want to succeed at. Even if I never reach any of my high standard goals, I think I will stay happy with myself.

With a friend who I walked out on, he basically accepts his depression and then acts in a very annoying and childish manner in pursuing the things that he wants while being afraid that the world is out to get him. He usually ends up falling apart and can't stay consistent with making a living in a permanent manner. He's a narcissist and also lonely while probably having grown up as an autistic child. He doesn't feel that he needs to work on himself very drastically to improve because he wants to hold on to dear life his own pride and a variety of security blankets that he grew up with. This guy is destined to stay a failure for the rest of his life. At least he still has family members and a few friends who accept him while they are alive. This guy is really annoying to me in general, but I'm also forcing myself to put up with him in the future.  

I think there are people out there who will never get it and choose to accept it like that while not working on themselves. Some emotions and bombardments of stressful memories are hard to self-regulate and maybe therapy might help but it's just connecting with an inspirational and fully honest source that can help change your life around. As a result, I see myself constantly progressing and getting more content with myself. This reminds me that I should buy a present for a friend who I think is always a little out of it, but is a married woman with a child. I'm so glad that I'm not really into dating her. 

Finding Good Ground

I'm starting to understand that I need to prioritize my personal time better with doing the things I want to catch up on for a better life later. I can't really afford to enjoy what the rich people get to do in their leisurely time. I have work to do and goals to reach. What I'm learning now is that even if I never reach the success level that I'm hoping for, I'm still going to be happy with myself for the rest of my life. 

I want to focus on building wealth through making more money and working out. I would really like to keep building upon those areas while I do what I can with maintaining my important personal relationships. 

This practically means that I won't really be able to watch the postseason for baseball, since I'm writing this in October of last year. This is pretty funny in that this post is already backed up by several months and I'm already reserving posts for the end of January this year.