Superbowl HOO HOO!!!

Yesterday, I felt that the superbowl was awesome. Even though I expected the Colts to make a touchdown and force the game into overtime, my friend sort of flipped the channel to the Titanic movie that was playing yesterday. He flipped it back and we got to see the replay of the interception! Man, it was so quick. It's like the pressure of the defense was just too much for Peyton Manning that time. I still think the quarterback is a more excellent player than the guy from the Saints. It's the defense that took the Saints to the superbowl and that's how history was set up because the more defensive team had a better chance of winning the game. I still was rooting for the Colts to win because they have Manning.

Some nice people would ask me how my weekend was, I believe that my weekend was okay. I have some plans set up to try to counter this restraining order on me. It's not that big of a strain on me because I've come to realize that the fault is on those who pressured it to happen with me. I think the girl who put it on me sort of liked me, and I also sort of liked her too. Once again, I did state to her that I love her as a friend and I pursued aggressively after Christopher Kuch and Jarred Daniel Taing who stated I was harrassing girls all over the place and thought they were protecting their Bible study group while calling the cops to come over. Oh well! The girl who placed it on me is Lee and I actually liked her enough to not really try to write nasty e-mails or make bad prank calls with her. Oh well, Lee just placed a restraining order on me and I'm really serious that she did. I also liked Lee enough to not argue with her when she said that it's her property and to not come over. I said okay, but the thought of knowing that Chris and Jarred was going to be there really fumed me up. Uh oh. Nothing really happened before the cops arrived. Oh well. All that happened was a guy who does not know Jesus yet, Carlos Julio trying to beat me up unsuccessfully. He did cut up my hand on the floor, but I managed to get up really quickly. He was pretty scared and missed me a few times with his weak kicks. They miss some kinetic energy to really hurt and I learned it because I was in marital arts. I'm thinking about going back to marital arts. I'm also thinking about dragging Chris out and pushing him into the bushes which are not part of Lee's home. The cop said that I was hiding in the bushes which is not part of Lee's home. It contradicts itself because the cop would have not found me then. Also, if I'm hiding in someone else's bushes there is no essential evidence there stating that I'm peeping tom a girl that I sort of like. She was a little weird for me to like so there's really no reasonable deductions that I was trying to stalk her. I guess it belonged to some of her wishful thinking because I think she indirectly feeling that I did not manipulate her when I could have and shown how charming and talented I am to impress her. I think she was a little mad that I did not try to steal her heart.

What I'm Ready To Do

My closest correspondents have been a pair of twins who just keep talking to me about their concerns. I hear it so much now. One day, I asked for it in my e-mails which was to tell me what I needed to be concerned about. As I walk in this life, I'm getting it daily now. I'm hearing it from my mom and hearing from some twins all the time. I don't really know what to make of it right now. Sometimes, I'm just really annoyed and don't want to hear it. Sometimes, I feel like yelling back at them. There's so many things that are going on in my life with this situation that I'm just being who I want to be.

My mistakes in the past have nothing dealing with me needing to repent or not as it is being reiterated constantly with me. No one really wants to listen and they will keep on talking until I yell at them or act really odd with everybody and feel so differently. I tried to do something that's really normal and deal with the circumstance.

I feel like I'm doing something that could be a lost cause now. It's like I'm hearing people having a good time and laughing about life and causing stress within me. It's some of these people at this caregroup that I just feel so angry about for some reason. I'm starting to see the pattern of all my friends' logical thinking now.

You know what, I'm going to try to grow taller and get some muscles. I think I'm noticing the pattern that I need for general welfare in myself. It's like my life is geared toward doing what I'm supposed to do. Like I should be really opened up about life.

How I'm Agitated

I guess people can be agitated for any dumb reason. I think it's a part of life to having to deal with it. I think there's something that people can do to just let it out and just be cool about it. I don't really know what I'm talking about. Okay, I feel pretty irritated by hearing that Carlos Julio is going to something called caregroup at a church in San Gabriel. By writing this, I don't really feel so irritated anymore. It looks like being honest and stating that I'm mad is actually helping me not be so mad about it anymore because I'm weighing in honesty.

So I'm going to be honest to the most blunt manner. I guess I do care with some facts about myself but writing it down is encouraging me to deal with some stuff that I don't really like to face on occasion. Especially with a blog that people could just read up on. I think this is the correct mode of thinking for me and to continue writing on it is actually a very good thing for me.

True Feelings

The posts that I'm about to make are pretty dark and personal. The reason why I decide to take this weird course of action is because I want to be an honest columnist. The things that I'm writing about are all related to me very personally. This is an act of venting to relieve of any personal stress and anger that I may have accumulated. By focusing on the absolute truths with a quiet audience, I am basically writing things about myself and holding nothing back.

I have not killed anyone or done any drunkard's deed. I also do not envision myself ever going there. Yes, I am 200% sure that I won't ever be heading that path. I have too much pride to not to drink 100 proof alcohol and get barred by few friends. I also have too much pride in people which may be my own downfall but I don't care about it.

I am making a confession like the one you would say to a priest. I think this post may be a little too vulgar for younger audiences. There may be some mature material that you may need to advise your young ones to not to ever look at this blog again. I do not mind. I am in a state of honesty and I apologize for any inconveniences with the matters I write about and including real people on this blog. 

Let's start with my regrets. This has happened to me since I was about 13 years old- the peak was during my high school years. It gradually became slower in my college years as I became more focused about studying and success and seriously respecting women. I totally regret masturbating to porn and even sharing pornographic material with other friends. I should have known better even while I was a believer of God's Word. I had it all back then even though I lacked a lot of physical countenance to please me. I had good parents, a little sister to tease and play with, good friends to mess around with, and a great brain that wanted to serve and influence the citizens around me.

I have finally confessed the truth about that. I am still pretty angry at Christopher Kuch because he did not really explain things very clearly with me and would say that the conversation was leading no where and end it. I should have just yelled at him and let out my frustration with him. This is what I want to plan on doing to him again whenever I go around to confront him.  I want to do the same to Jarred Daniel Taing.  I have also talked to Bah - bah humbug I think his name is spelled Bae. I ended up yelling at Bae and I should have done something like that to Chris because Bae was like "Okay, okay, okay" with me.

For some reason, with the women Betty Lam and Annie Tran. I'm pretty glad that they at least did some personal decision. Even though it angers me a lot, the Bible states that women are a weaker vessel than men. I should not be having to worry about it so much. If they don't want to talk about it, I may have to yell a little even though if others want to interfere about the whole situation. It's going to be very discouraging for others to intervene as I will yell to let go of my distress. This is what I feel like doing. I seriously hate yelling but the reasons that I am about to give will make it necessary and if you want to argue I may end up yelling at you. I'm so sorry.

I thought I was respecting Darunee Lee Wong when I never really tried to step foot in her door. I had blood all over my hands and I showed it to Chris Kuch by stating "Please close the door on me and I will leave." After this statement, I think Chris Kuch totally freaked out and decided to call the cops on me but stated it in a calm manner with me. I should have yelled like crazy with him and in a frenzy and then ran away before the cops showed up. I may seriously have to yell at a few of these individuals with me talking about it so that they will pretty much see that they are not fully right. I think that's the logic behind my decision to bring upon the element of raising my voice and continuing to talk. I think this is what all people who were framed for murder should be doing, unless if you are Jesus.

I guess I succeeded in pulling the plug with having sexual feelings for Annie Tran now too. The restraining order did not ideally come from Annie Tran and Betty Lam. I'm not wording it in a tricky fashion. I think Darunee Lee's intent of the restraining order was so that there would be a multiple restraining order and that there would be one against me from coming to what they labeled as "Church property". After I stayed quiet in court, Lee sort of lied about me constantly forcing myself upon her; as the only event I recall doing this was at church. Lee had asked me to stay away from a group of people she's around at her house for a certain time period. I thought I was being reasonable in trying to resolve it by approaching the Lion's Den after agreeing to not to come for a few months. If I agreed to it even though I thought it sucks then maybe I had a high probability of being reasonable in trying to resolve an issue that did not really deal with me hurting the reputation of a group of people. Therefore with me yelling at anybody who gets in my way that started with Jarred Daniel Taing and Christopher Kuch, I believe that it's logically a sound approach. A friend of mine thought it would be funny when I proposed it and Carlos Julio personally gave me the times that they would be at Lee's house so that I could come around and make a huge spectacle which I feel like doing just to mess around a little and let go of my urges of screaming at nothing.

Quick Post

I am making another filler post because I just want to keep up with my own personal quota of one per day. I think I will rewording this sentence like a lot for the rest of my life as long as I have this blog up. I also like the fact that I don't have any limit of the words that I need to write to satisfy this personal desire to express myself and let go of the stresses in this world. It looks like I can really escape by writing on this blog and not minding the attention that I am attracting.

Absolute Blunt Truth

Everyone has their own mix of truth and they are going to provide their two cents eventually. It's sometimes annoying for me when I have to listen to something that does not have anything to deal with me. It's hard to stand there and listen to dumb lectures that I'm in total disagreement of. Sometimes, people go through hardships and later want to say that the person who advised them to not to go that road is right. I say, as long as it's based solely on you just deal with it and as long as you are not committing crimes punishable by death in the Bible or being a very bad person like stealing and cheating in life, I think it's okay to not to have to listen to everyone's advice in that personal matter.

For the time being, I am not going to invent names anymore. I am going to use real people's names now and seriously make comments about them in the most truthful manner that I see it. This includes anything that may also have bad references with me. I am going to be absolutely honest this time around. Yesterday, I called up a guy named Bah who goes to Hope Church L.A. and does some serious business travel everyone once in awhile.

I sort of asked about his life and how he was doing and then I sort of gave my spin to the issue with Christopher Kuch, Jarred Daniel Taing, Annie Tran, and Betty Lam. What's so cool is that Annie and Betty actually are pretty common names. The Annie and Betty I currently know both attend a church at Hope Church L.A. I also have a person who I associate with Carlos Julio Rojas. I don't really know the level of our friendship really well right now. I am really good friends with his twin brother Carlos Angel Rojas. They are about 5 minutes apart and Angel is the younger twin. Since I have given the real names and locations of these people in a pretty locatable landmark that is not really their absolute personal homes, I am going to let out the details as best as possible to help myself. I don't really like to always be selfish but in this case my flesh really needs it. If I get a lot of legal suits for just being honest, I have absolutely no problems with deleting these columns that these people are about to have problems over.

I am going to reveal a secret that I don't really want to tell the world. I really am in love with someone at the Hope Church L.A. It's definitely not Annie or Lee at the moment. At the moment, I have also defined that I am chasing after Betty. I am chasing after Betty because I expect to learn a lot from the situation. I don't really envision myself stalking her or really coming onto her very hard at the beginning stages of it. I have been told by Julio that Betty is going to slap me and try to sue me. One time, I called up Betty with my personal cell phone which is blocked. I then used another secret phone and she picked up which I did not say anything over. She seemed like she was in a pretty bad mood. I really want to help Betty out and make her satisfied. I guess flirting with Betty and making her feel good which is in a way showing a sign of good love to her seems to be okay for me. I seriously admire someone more than Betty right now at Hope Church L.A. I'm not going to reveal who she is even in my own private diary.

I honestly had some sexual feelings with Annie. Julio has stated that Annie is not really that pretty. I've had sexual feelings over some girls who were not always that good-looking to me on the outside. It must be the feelings of expectations I have for her. Maybe, I'm more of an emotional person. I've grown up to be told that I'm handsome by my mom and sometimes I bought it and sometimes I didn't. I was feeling really repulsed over my attraction with Annie after she blocked me on a facebook profile. I was going like how can friends do this to one another. Isn't she supposed to be a leader and be outreaching to people even though there may some signs of danger? Maybe a woman is not supposed to be cut out to be a head minister because of this question. Maybe the role was supposed to belong to Christopher Kuch. If it was then I would not have really pursued after Annie unblocking me on facebook. For some reason, facebooking did not seem to be a priority for me but I was sort of in a way exploring my own feelings with what made me angry with her.

I ended up yelling at Bah over the phone after he regurgitated his argument that I've been hearing for the past few years. He basically wants me to repent. I was so mad to hear that over and over. At first, I was pretty stupefied over listening to it. I then heard more agitating statements that I needed to get some help. It only built upon on my anger even more. I then got a call to the police and they came over. I became so angry that they did not make it clear in not wanting to be friends anymore. They still state that I need to repent. I am so angry over their lack of clarity as a result and need to yell at Christopher Kuch and Jarred Daniel Taing. They are real people and you could search for them on Google and possibly add them as a friend on your Facebook. Chris Kuch seems to have some multiple names and his demographic is Cambodian. Jarred Taing is a pretty unique name like mine.

I have two restraining orders as a result. This is not illegal because I am not making any attempt to contact them. The first is Washington Chun and the second is Darunee Lee Wong. I actually sort of liked Lee when I talked to her. I have been told by a friend that I should sort of chase after her because we could be compatible. I was given an implicit remark by Chris Kuch one day that I could possibly pair with Annie. He said "She's all yours." Okay, I'm not biting the line to go after Annie. I'm going to chase after Betty because there is some compatibility between us and she can be pretty nice. She has a pretty dark past but she seems very mellow about having been over it.

As the truth unfolds, I reveal that I used to be a sex-a-colic and still am one just that I want to give in later.  I think I learned something valuable during that process. I reveal that I'm in debt of approximately 30,000 dollars, which is about a half of my expected income after securing a degree in Computer Science. I made some costly decisions but the numbers just did not add up. I need to turn it around now.

Jobs Available

I am sensing that I could probably have a personality to be out there on the road. I came across an opportunity for people to become a truck driver and the benefits are pretty good. After 6 months of employment, the driver could get some really good benefits. It's pretty nice that driving a truck can actually have some pretty good advantages for the moment of paying off my debts.

I took something from the sales meeting today. It's a pretty good company and the boss is pretty fair about the pay. In a world of sales, commission is like almost everything. For the first month, the boss is offering some chump change just a buck / 40 (1,400) to be given rides to set-up appointments and sell vacuum cleaners that people need to have in their houses. With conviction for once, I believe I could let the product do its own selling and all I really need to do is just overcome common objections. It's really nice for the business owner to make some guaranteed money. I would like to say that I would love to market good products as an owner too. It would be nice to be a self-made business owner with the right products to invest in and something that people genuinely want to buy. What's nice about this vacuum cleaning business is that it's very possible for the worker to move up the ladder. The system is also designed for the worker to move up.

I guess everybody's personality is totally different and that's why everyone is so unique in this world. With me writing on this blog and sharing whatever I need to share with the world, I'm still capable of doing what I need to do. I think I would really like to someday have a lot of money and a stable home. I would also like to raise a pretty good family and I also would not mind standing a little taller. Heck, I have a brain that's capable of playing the piano with lots of practice and busting out cool stuff dealing with computers. I have a mind that's capable of expanding its horizons. I should not have to deal with some bad news for myself. I do have a nice college degree and I do have a good passion to be on the computer a lot. I just need some money and that's about it. I'm finding some okay deals out there but it requires me having to leave the home to do it.

I think when people say the economy is bad in the U.S. and they don't have a job, I believe that it's sort of fallacious because there are jobs and opportunities out there. I am pretty fortunate to have a pretty clean record with no DUIs or anything bad like that in my driving record. I could go for being a professional driver because driving on the road for me is sort of exciting and can at times be a piece of cake no matter how large the cargo I'm transporting. I tried doing the bus thing but it just did not work out for me I guess. Cargo won't complain to me irrationally when I hit some road bumps; also, they are strapped in and just need to prevent the vehicle from crashing or skidding on ice! Sounds like an exciting thing to do for me and a good adrenaline rush for being still a pretty young guy. My mom is going to worry a lot but I'll be in home for Christmas hopefully by that time. I'm also doing this to pay off my debt which is going to suck. I also need to finish some tasks for friends before I move on out. I am going to have to fight off a restraining order before I hit for the roads as well.

I think I'll be making pretty good money just that I'll be out on the road a lot as a truck driver. With me being still young and no family, I guess sacrificing just one year to clear all my educational debts is not a bad idea for me right now.

Just Typing Random

I pretty much signed on to do a job that pays some base but will also give you some commission if a customer decides to buy it. It's cool to have a base and to not worry about receiving a simple paycheck. I think I made a very bad decision to place myself a little in debt and it left me feeling a little displaced. On top of that, dealing with a few restraining orders also killed my mood for a little bit. I have pretty much vented with some people who sort of were responsible for those restraining orders and I feel like I'm sort of ready to move on as a result.

It was really hard to deal with it in the beginning. I'm just really tired right now and writing about something and just not feeling very productive about.

One more post

Because my parents moved and they pretty much disconnected the internet at the old abandoned house which is still okay for occupying and bunking in, it got pretty boring there. I have like 5 labtops stationed somewhere in the house. I'm a super computer geek man. 5 labtops, I feel like I'm on top of the world. No, that's just an exaggeration. No, I don't feel like that. I'm just kidding around here. The lack of internet is the reason why I can't write on the blog and I've been pretty busy this past week. So things are moving along for me and it looks like maybe I'll get the internet at my parent's new house, if I ever decide to head over there. I have not even spent an ounce of resting in my own bedroom, pretty funny...okay maybe I laid on it and noticed that someone laid on it during open house but that's about it. I can get the internet at the library. Yeah, that sounds good. One time, I think I saw this girl at the library who looked like the girl who placed a restraining order on me. There was this huge similarity! I was pretty shocked and dropped my jaw and stared at her for awhile and she stared back feeling a little reproached and she froze wondering and then as I left it looked like she would not mind sitting next to me... she had left her cell phone and maybe I could have picked it up and brought it her and then started a conversation with her. Oh well, I think I was not really being that big of a ladies man that time.

Taking A Friend Out Who Tried To Beat Me Up?

The answer is no way! He's still a friend but no way! I don't want to stir up violence with this guy. Haha. I don't want to bust it out and then start doing some chop liver action. Sorry, I don't do that. Hey homie don't play that and I do not fight my own friend for whatever reason. It's quite interesting because some people find my friend a little funny but if you have some mental problems and with lots of personal preferences then maybe there might be some collision with this guy. I sort of need to start taking the safer roads now. By admitting to my faults truthfully and letting out all that is hindering me through writing which is like one of the hardest things for me to do for myself out of fear of being exposed, I am growing as an individual. I think that's why people keep a personal journal for themselves sometimes. I'm doing something that's a little weird. I'm writing on this stupid blog that people can look at and read at anytime and for any purpose. I'm basically sharing about myself because I'm trying to expect a quiet response.

I think there are some trigger words here that will get me blacklisted or something like that obviously. So as a I write about the truth and to let myself be a laughing stock by writing about myself and being truthful in releasing all my steam on this blog, I'm finding that it's a pretty good supplement to what I'm trying to accomplish with my sister, a pastor of a small church, a vegetarian dude, another dude, a girl, and another girl who I called up to ask if I could clear out her dust mites on her mattress. I talk in a pretty mellow voice when I'm admitting that I'm mad sometimes too. It's like I'm contradicting my actions that I say are pretty bad into being alright while I'm speaking honestly which gets others to sort of let go of whatever paranoia and anger they had with me. I think those are the feelings that they had with me and I was sort of evoking those feelings in an indigenous manner because I was trying to be vicarious and assertive about the situation. Hey looks like they did sort of doddle the situation and I got a smile from a girl who put a restraining order on me.  

Found A Job To Combat My Debt!!!

Yeah, it looks pretty nice ... I'll be raking in about 1400 dollars a month for working only about 40 hours a month! It looks pretty good so far just that I want to position myself to get a computer job. Hmm, this is one of those sad feelings I sometimes get that I will share on this blog. I don't know why I want to cry underneath when I can't have something so badly and it has been bothering for decades. I am approaching my third decade now and I think it's about time to think that third time's a charm!

Debt is a debt and luckily, my debt does not climb in reference to spider man moving up a skyscraper to catch a bad guy. I know I'm just making stuff up internally in my head. It's all sentimental stuff... I think I should learn to adjust. I'm going to try to some interesting blog posts which no one is going to care about, but some people did because I think they just got a little paranoid about this whole issue. Paranoia in people that comes at you is such a bothersome thing. I get a lot of it for just being a short guy and sticking around somewhere. I need to just be honest about the situations now no matter how bad the outlook is for me.

How do you change a sister into a lady?

Hmm, I'm sort of sitting here and realizing something normal which is mature siblings getting along with one another. I guess it's not really a bad thing that my little sister actually texts me back and tells me to grow manners. Man, I must be a pretty messed up individual sometimes when I'm really mad about something. I really vent sometimes by blowing steam at the person's face. I really need to become better at controlling my own anger which stems from feeling inferior. Hey, I'm a pretty short person too so I read about this inferiority complex thing. It's really crazy that I have to deal with this thing with me. I guess I'm trying to get a little sneaky from feeling a little mad about being shorter than others. I have this interesting yoga book that claims to fill your discs on your spinal cord, so someone out there in the internet is reading this pretty Asian blog of how I'm going to try to make myself taller. I have been refuted by close friends that growing taller is not really possible because of D.N.A. I think those friends of mine are actually pretty good friends to me. I think I'm just leaning on trying to let go. Man, I hate feeling a little angry at being a little shorter... I'm not even thirty yet but I am pretty old... man, I wonder if when I'm 40 I'll still think I can grow taller. I gotta try something man. This is going to get a little weird.

Since this is my blog

Hey, I'm just pretty much writing anything right now. I'm in some horrible debt right now which really sucks. As long as I did not steal any bank and will be responsible in paying back what I owe, I hope to find relief again. I'm realizing that there are some really nice people out there especially those I had spent some time with.

I don't really know how my reputation is exceeding itself now just that everyone seems to be expecting a lot more from me.

What I'm Up To

I have read somewhere that online poker is sort of illegal because Congress has been trying to outlaw it. I guess that makes me sort of a bad person for playing it then and taking money from other people who just don't really know when to let go of their hands. I also get worked up too and lose my money but in the end I just broke even. Man, it's kind of a waste of time but I'm realizing that the PokerStars offers some benefits for playing and storing up some compensation points. You can trade in these points for money if you have enough and that's pretty cool for me. They also occasionally offer free money tournaments if you deposit at least $10. I guess if you are good enough then you'll make some money. Not everyone is good at poker and it looks like some people play just to lose their money and so Congress wants to protect the bad players from losing so much money I guess.

In the end, I don't plan on gambling millions of dollars with Poker. That would be too insane for me and losing with the strongest hand to the worst hand which is like the odds of a lottery but very possible would extremely be so painful so I'm not going to even go there in the first place. I don't care how much pride some players have and want to shove it on me. I just don't care about trying to follow in those crazy players' footsteps now. I project that I could earn a six figure income by just breaking even on this PokerStars site. It's pretty crazy that I can run up the math like that in my head. To get there, it's going to take a lifetime maybe to master it but it would be a fun retirement then and like doing nothing. I don't even know if poker sites are going to be around by then. Maybe Congress will succeed in passing a law to outlaw it then I would have to find something else for a stupid hobby where I waste some retirement funds and transfer a little money over to decent people who were also great players. 

I'm currently thinking about driving a dumb truck to pay off some loans that I incurred. I tried some money-making schemes and it just did not work out for me. I still have faith in some of those items because I never even placed my money in them but just acquired some online books to read about the trades. I would not mind starting an Ebay business and then letting it go on auto-pilot. I also would not mind investing a little on the Forex market. By working for money, I will have then time to go for additional schooling and invest on other stuff to make more profit. It seems like an okay life for me. I think the hard work will pay off with me helping the world and the joy and satisfaction that comes out of that. I don't really feel so empty about doing that. I'll of course be having tons of fun by going places and I hope I get wealthy while I'm young enough. I just don't want to get so old and senile with money pouring in every second- that would sort of suck honestly for me. I'm thinking about benefiting hungry children and Christian ministries that really want to help others with supplies or medical support.  I may even pay my way to an education to be on the front line there. I have to be honest and state that I took some interest in learning about what people like and how I could be a pretty good person for others to get along with, even though there may be lots of differences.  

I'm honestly not all that great because I yell at people sometimes for irritating me a lot. It takes me awhile but when I get there, I think it's not good for the person who got me there by acting irrational and being so persistent about it. Only on certain instances, I'm going to let the person go with me yelling at them so much because I understand their hard times- like if I had a pregnant wife =D. I might actually enjoy her bantering and taking care of the baby still while she's recovering.

Despite Freedom

Even though I have a lot of freedom than I had before, I don't really want to be so lazy in my life right now. I don't really want to screw up situations for myself anymore. I just need to compensate to the best of my ability right now and maybe working on myself is going to be life-long process for me. I don't know if my mind is going to be capable of being that person who would handle a marriage satisfactorily. I mean I do like someone a lot but I feel like I'm really incapable sometimes based upon my upbringing. It's pretty crazy that I can sometimes be so hard on myself. With all of these personal feelings sort of dissipating, I have so much more distractions coming in and that I have to be able manage some new ones that are a part of me and have been so persistent.

Issue with some people

I guess I'm just really angry right now about a lot of stuff that's so little in my life. Even though I have this anger, I am still capable of looking for a job and be stronger at getting along with other people. I'm sort of like placing my pride over those few people who can be like a jerk with me. My little sister is about three years younger than me and for awhile we have been arguing over something that I can't really pinpoint anymore. It's been driving me really nuts because whenever she yells, it just makes me go bonkers and want to throw a huge fit at her without really trying to insult her. I guess I'm a lot better at still listening to people's words while I'm at this state of mind and while I'm yelling, I know that I'm really mad and want to vent. I have all this going on in my head and I just want to let it out. I'm currently working on being able to turn off my anger with other people. I'm just directing towards the source that's making me really angry. I need to be able to just center my anger properly on the source that's bugging me and be able to put it aside naturally. I think I'm just going to be pretty mad towards my sister by making fun of her a lot now.

There's also other people at a church called Hope Church in Los Angeles, CA who really bothered me too. They really wanted to help me grow in some area that I was not really interested in learning about or even submitting. I was pretty scared at the time so I tried to be reasonable to the best of my ability. My mistake could have been to exert a little overconfidence in the situation that made me think that they were not really intending on arresting me or taking me to jail. Since the police literally did come over, I'm really mad at them for calling the police on me. I was there when the guy with glasses and a vegetarian said "Let's call the cops" in a whisper. He then texted someone and waited for the cops. I was standing right next to them and managed to say something that made them cry out of sheer luck or anger. The cops then detained me and started like going "Oh, you are so in trouble." I think the people just wanted me to go home, but the cops kept me there so I think it's reasonable to think that the vegetarian guy could still get frustrated if I bring up the incident. I don't know if the vegetarian guy is going to stay a vegetarian anymore, but at the time I knew him he was self-proclaimed vegan. I am very furious about the incident and want to really yell at all of them for what they did to me. I really respect the majority of the people at that Hope Church, but it's a few of the influential people there that I got into a major argument without even trying to get there. They pretty much initiated a fight with me and tried to cover it up by making it look peaceful.  They can't even answer my questions in a manner that would be pleasing for me, which is being informative and reasonable. They basically said that they were not negotiating anything with me. One of these days, I feel like I'm going to show and put my mark on them because I'm so angry about it and need to let it go. One of the girls there even put a restraining order on me which is sort of making me laugh because I really didn't do anything to her. I thought we had nothing against each other the whole time. I guess we do, and I did state that I love her as a friend so I can't really yell at the person who placed a restraining order on me; no matter how mean she may have been with me. I just know how to submit in that area pretty well. I already have another restraining order which I think caused a frenzy when people found out about it. It was sort of a botched restraining order because the guy who placed a restraining order on me was a little inaccurate about my intentions. He did state that he does not understand me, which I heard from one of his closest friends.

Looks like writing about all the bad truths in my life is helping me not get so mad anymore. I guess writing is becoming a strong tool for me. I've been writing similar to this style without using any curse words or direct threats but maybe a lot of insults with the people who made me mad in my writing. No wonder if they have something against you, they are going to block you. My speeches have caused some of the girls to block me even my little sister, but what's funny is that I can still text my little sister. I know that a girl who had a problem with me blocked my calls but I stiill can call her up and she'll probably get so annoyed by it. I remember the vegan guy recently intercepting my calls and then I sent him this e-mail that pretty much bagged on him legitimately and then he stopped intercepting my calls. I remember the other guy who sort of capped out with me get a little worn out with me calling him up all the time and then agreeing to himself that he should not block me anymore. Looks like I made some progress. It's just with some of these girls that I'm going to really mad at and talking to them an angry manner. However, with the majority of the girls I want to be really nice with them and not try to make anything problematic. Just because I have a problem with one person does not mean that I will literally try to push a problem for other individuals.

Just Writing About It

I have been sort of acting like a loser with the people by continuously calling them up and messaging them. The messages could be really confrontational and annoying to the people who did something bad to me. They pretty much took me to court and it left me feeling some resentment with them. I really feel like overall after everyone has told me that they are sort of losers about this whole situation. Even the police man who got involved with the situation is sort of a loser to me also. My friend has told me that a restraining order is nothing compared to really struggling in life. A restraining order is not affecting me from pursuing after other jobs and hopefully, I will have a job to work on sooner or later.

I recall reading a story over the internet about how a drunkard with several restraining orders from women passed the background check and was hired into the faculty of a high school. I'm currently on the horizon of fighting against my restraining order because I feel that I was inconceivably abused by the petitioner and a church pastor! It's crazy that a church pastor would write to you and state that he wants to call the police on you and then cover it up by saying that Jesus loves you. Trying to evangelize and maintain a church with how the pastor did is not very successful on the long run and I think he really lost out in the end. I have called them up several times over the past couple months and they have pretty much blocked my calls and messages but I still manage to get around it and call them up still. I think they are really waiting for me to comment really violently or in a threatening manner but I'm a little too smart for them to do anything like that. My anger is something I can reasonably control and still function pretty smart in society. I just can't withstand it after awhile and need to release my tension with these abusive people by letting go of my inhibitions. It's basically just yelling at them, feeling all my sensitive boundaries and then trying to move on without them. I guess I really need to shout at them for awhile now.

Job Trouble

I thought I had secured a job over the last month, but am on the hunt for another job again. I have managed to obtain a license to drive a forklift. I hear that the wages are not really that bad with driving a forklift around a warehouse, and I do really like driving around cool vehicles like that. Maybe I have a little slow turtle speed in me which would feel the adrenaline rush when lifting those cranes to pick up really heavy objects that package handlers cannot really handle.

Overall, I'm doing okay. I really need to finish up repairing a friend's computer. It's been so hard to get back to it; in addition to my parents having moved and me not trying to rely on them so much for my financial needs now. I'm clearly in debt right now and am doing the best I can to find this job. I am glad that my mom paid me a hundred dollars just to do a simple choir around the backyard! That was very generous of her and it helped me get that forklift license which has some fees associated to it in getting a certificate. I am pretty much going to write a little more.

Writing Truthfully

I think if you want to write about anything and if that requires you to manage your anger at the same time, then I think you should really deal with the person whose trying to cause you some anxiety. It takes a lot of time and personal reflections to understand how you could be fair about the situation. Regardless of how others may think I'm a selfish brat about something, I guess I really still try to be nice about it and do something about it. I don't really care what they think about me because on the long run they are really damaging their judgment center and becoming more obvious to me of what their flaws were all about.

Because of my personality that cares about people and wanting to be a pretty easy going guy despite some people acting like jerks with me, I still want to try to be good about everything and be a loving individual because I think being a pretty good guy or loving others in the name of Jesus is always doing the right thing. I think I'll be saying a lot of stuff that could be trashing others over the internet. As long as I remain truthful about it to the best of my ability, I am protected by the First Amendment. To show some respect, I will invent names so that only the closest parties know who I am referring to but the outsiders will have to do a little more digging to understand my situation. I prefer that outsiders sort of stay away with my conflict as I am going to be writing mainly to exert some puns and make myself laugh as I visit lay out some details. I'm not absolutely perfect in my grammar as I am only spending like five minutes doing this. So with five minutes of typing, I come up with more witty statements with trying to be nice over all my enemies...hmm, sounds okay so far.

Posting One More

I'm just typing something really random again. I'm trying to keep up with a personal quota of a post every day. So if I miss every day then I need to come up with 365 posts in one day before the year ends! My friend Snake has been spending the night and wants to let you guys know that he's been keeping me busy. Hahaha. It seems like we have a special relationship going don't we? I don't really think so like that. P.S. We are both into girls more than guys... I mean guys are cool to mess around with during football season, but girls are very fun for something else. Hahaha. I hope to remain pretty calm this season because the superbowl is coming around the corner very soon!

I'm going to wait another day

I guess with the personal disclaimer that I wrote and how this blog is setup, it's going to be very deterring for me to write the whole absolute truth about myself. The reason is because the personal disclaimer is coming next after I'm writing this post. The whole posting is actually down in a present sense of an order. I don't really want to change the order of the posting because I like the idea of having a more updated sense. Going backwards on this post seems to be convenient for me at the moment, but changing the order might be sort of weird for me. I guess some of the writings I make are actually better in the past then I put in the present. It must be that it's a rare thing for me to come across writing something that's very cherished. Most of the other times it could just be rags and writing whatever.

Personal Disclaimer

Everything that I'm about to write may offend some people. It may be so gross that no one will could really like me in person. The reason why I do this is because my desire is to be really truthful to myself and put it all in down in writing on a site that is just hardly known by people in this world at the moment. I do believe in a savior named Jesus. I also do believe in how he miraculously saved me from a life of being miserable and have been under His grace all this time.

The Bible states that the heart is wicked beyond all measure and cannot even compare to God's own righteousness. I do agree with that. I am about to state everything good and bad about myself. I want to be absolutely honest with myself. I want to try to be a pretty cool guy as well and be nice about every situation when there's conflict. I will be stern sometimes if I lose my temper momentarily but I won't let it control me to the point of creating guilt underneath me.

What I am about to say are personal secrets underneath me that I guarded for so long. I am pretty much not going to wipe my own slate clean but rely on the Holy Spirit to do that.

Typing 1 out of 3 Posts

I know that there is a right to type anything truthful about myself. I guess I have some type of flavor that makes it okay for everyone to get along with me. I also don't mind helping out as much as possible even if I'm busy sometimes. I really need to prioritize my life a whole lot better now.

I'm going to change my outlook a little more now. I'm going to basically write anything dealing with the truth even if it's bad on me. I will know that I am saying some negative things about myself and accept them. I will pretty much do this to see if I can overcome circumstances. I really made the decision to never commit suicide no matter how sour the situation gets for me. I might as well lay out the whole truth about myself and let God do the rest for me. I'm a little uncomfortable of saying some things about myself as that's how I grew up. Since this is writing and passive and the world can get in here any moment I decide to run for President or something like that, I'm pretty much projecting myself in a more dishonest or honest way. I will try the best I can to be outspoken in writing with myself. I guess it's the best thing I could do for myself in this blog.

This Blog Is Kinda Dumb

I'm not very successful right now and I do not really care at the moment. What I could sure use is a million dollars a year of profit that I could use for my expenses and to help others in need. I really need to come up with a game plan now. With what I lost in the past, I realize that I possess certain characteristics now that I did not have in the past.

I have this idea. What if I use my good characteristics that I've developed right now to help me succeed in the future. I sure hope that everything is going to go well for me here. I think I have many excuses right now and really need to think about going on the defense for myself just this time. I have the on and off button that's a part of me now. I think my on switch is not always that good for people who made some negative decisions with me. My off switch can happen any time and that's what I need to utilize appropriately now.

Jobless, People can rescue you!!!

Dah duh nuh dahhh.... (superman theme) so lame I know. I'm a little too short of time to place a link of the superman song. You know what, it's only going to take a minute. Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELNh23yRiJc

That's a pretty okay video, not bad at all. Okay, the whole job situation is to just go out to look for one and stop being lazy. That's what parents are screaming and hollering at their grown up sons these days. It's interesting...

Ever think about driving a bus? Nope... ever think about becoming a pro gambler who goes broke in 1 hour? Nope... Ever think about doing the uhhh nasty? Well, I don't want to be paid for that I'd rather enjoy that in my spare time if you know what i mean... Okay I'm sounding so vaguely strange on this blog...

Just brainstorm and something should hit as you are trying to make ends meet. You'd be like wondering why am I wasting all this time with these weird home-based products that others advertise with a statement that they could make money... I'd rather try something more conventional. It's true that there are some stuff out there that could work for you.

Just Typing Away Before I exit

Hey, how's it going? I'm doing okay and how about you reader? Oh what's that, I seem to be getting telepathic read of you. What's that, you are finding out about yourself right now? Oh that's wonderful to hear that you are coming along and that things may be maintained on the long run.

I tried some Mr. Rogers technique. I remember watching some funny kung-fu movies where they pronounce names like Crouching Tiger or Screaming Lady attack. Haha. I guess I need to exit from this blog. Hmm, writing about how this blog is being more of a stand-up whatever (not comedy) is pretty interesting. I hope everybody finds something to keep them going today.

Man This Blog is Super boring

Man, I'm really wasting my time typing on here but I guess nothing is really bothering me anymore, which is really good. I sort of have my persuasive skills back and I can see now that they were pretty strong while I was irritated about a lot of stuff dealing with the people I came in contact with sometimes. I sort of see now that I'm pretty much over a lot of things that I used to have some problems over and that it's better for me now to really see the light of things.

My parents moved to a bigger place in a gated community. It's a really beautiful area and it seems like I'm going to be having to contribute a lot with them now. It's maybe because I'm the son and also that I'm seen upon as someone who needs to become a responsible adult. There are privileges to being a grown up and still young. However, it's really important to find information that suits you. I read this one book that proposes you ditch some people who are not helping you get what you want. I don't think it's everything in my heart that I want to do. I just need to accept things for myself that I know are good, meaningful, and are aligned with the Holy Spirit. I should just be spending some time in prayer to figure out how I could be a good contributor to this society and to not go crazy all of a sudden and then rip people's hearts out. There must be a saying of how we need to just deal.

Running out of ideas

I guess it's good to look around while you are asking questions and then research on some things. I was reading up on interesting stuff like playing poker. It's one of those legal jurisdictions on how it really hits the gray area. It is ideally called gambling and a lot of people call different things gambling. In a way, marriage is also gambling too because 50% of all marriages end up in divorce. It really sucks that this one person I was attracted to had parents who separated. That is a really appalling statistic. Even running a small business is considerably a gamble but it really comes down to the skill of the business man.

Some games have losing odds if you gamble on them like roulette. I've even heard about a family that exploited the flaws of a roulette table and then got kicked out of every casino. Some people have even thought about counting cards on a blackjack table, while using their powerful mind to calculate the winning hand at any given moment. It's pretty crazy that people can come up with these things when everything seems to be unbelievably unfair and against you. It does create estranged family members sometimes like Jennifer Harmon (a poker player) had with her dad but slowly some states are even recognizing card playing games like poker as a profession. Furthermore, Jen and her dad eventually reconciled after realizing the success that she has had winning millions and maintaining a lovely marriage. The law is also changing their minds about poker being a pure gambling game. It's due to the practicality of how some gifted card players can read when they have the losing hand while holding strong cards and can also trick others to laying down better hands. It's impressive how the history of this game and some controversy in it are still part of this world.

Before Midnight Post

Okay I'm just typing another sentence just for laughs. I guess this may get so annoying starting with a sentence that says that I'm creating a new post. I might as well just keep this up and see what I can get out of it. Maybe, I'll brainstorm an okay idea with my pretty good mind. I don't think I'm all that great in my head or anything like that. I need to really do things that are more sure instead of placing all my eggs on one basket and hoping that it will keep me from visiting the next waterfall.

Okay just typing

I'm just typing away on this random blog just because I just want to. I missed a day yesterday because I guess I did not have enough time to type something. It's like almost the next day for me so I am rushing today to type away. I would just like to keep a quota of righting on the average of 1 post a day so that would give me 365 posts in one year! Yeah, in addition to that let's add in 365 days of reading the Bible and also 365 days of doing different stuff.

I'm pretty much called a lazy person for some reason. I'm called a lot of bad things by one person. I was given bad support for some reason with this one group of individuals who might have considered themselves to be very noble people. I'm so okay and over it now that I don't think I need to bring it up again to laugh about now.

Struggling In Life With Dumb Obsessions

I really hate doing stupid stuff. I really need to just let some things go. I hate doing them because it's ultimately just going to make me feel like a wreck. I hate some things that I've done in the past and as a result, I am really hurting myself dwelling on them so much. I need to make a super huge effort in being patient with myself and never worrying so much about what life has to offer. This is just a human effort to reconnect with God and just let go of stuff that should not really be so important in life. I should not really have to worry about how others could talk behind your back over something that is not so really negative. I should not really have to worry about stuff that I want to make disappear. I really need to just start all over again and just make a consistent effort and lifelong commitments that are very beneficial for myself. This is not about pursuing after self-esteem. This is more about glorifying God through believing in Christ for me. I really have to step it up and let go of things and just be like willing to live through my own personal sufferings and be able to deal with them without trying to find a mode of vanity to escape my own personal reflections that I don't want to remember.

Working Out While Working 60+ Hours

Okay, this is something that I never imagined myself doing. That extra 30 minutes a day of intense physical work-out will develop into like a figurative hump of a camel. What I mean by this is that when I need the stored energy, it will be there. I won't have to feel all this burning sensation in my eyes when the time hits me through people causing you disfavors. Haha. I'm just having fun typing again. I need to really step it up now and find what I have always been looking for. I know that I am not big son of a gun that will destroy people's reputations and then make them go nowhere in life. Haha. I don't want to do those things. It would suck to bring someone down when you know they could help you when you are suffering in life. It's all being smart here when you are trying to be nice. It's just that sometimes I feel like I need to talk. Talking is what I do and I think that several females don't really mind hearing words generated through a guy's mouth if it's heard so often. Talking is just talk. As long as it does not incorporate any bad actions or words that seem really obscene to the point of making someone's head crack, I think you are fine.

Random Again

Alright, I have to be working very hard right now. I'm just talking about working hard now. I must be in good position to just write about boring stuff. Okay, with all this time that I have it means that I should stop messing around with stupid video games and watching boring movies. I should really be out there doing something in generating income. I think with all the hard work that I put into it, it would mean a lot of better things for myself. I could relax and go on vacation during the weekend and do some cool stuff. The only problem that I have for myself is that I really don't have any problems and that I should pretty much tolerate my life right now for at least a good year. I need to find a way to reconnect with my friends again and see how they've been and what they have been up to. I need to put good focus on things and not worry about stuff that much anymore. I guess I've been sensitive to this area and that I don't really have to worry so much about it anymore. The money means nothing to me. Driving around people for fun is great. Talking to people is fun. A lot of these things are good and meaningful. I don't need to worry about it that much and just be pretty careful about some things. I should just be very honest and outspoken with the intention of loving others. I want to really model my life after what Jesus did for me.

Hi

Hey there. Hello, I'm just typing away very randomly on this blog. Blah blah. I'm just being sarcastic now. I'm just typing whatever right now. I need to really keep myself occupied or else I'm going to grow up all lazy and not very healthy while being possibly overweight if I go on some binge or develop some obesity. I guess I'm really at peace with myself to be able to say stuff about my physical things and not really worry about it that much. It took me a very long time to sort of find peace with myself like that. Anyway, it does not really matter and I hope to never bring that topic up again even on this blog. I'm just doing stuff that I want to keep hidden underneath with myself. Why should everybody read this blog and find out stuff about myself or others? I think it would be better to be more informative about stuff that are happening and sort of pass on the torch. That would be a pretty cool blog then.

Keeping A Clear Mind

No matter how much some little things try to frustrate you in life, I think it's best to learn to let stuff go. When you put yourself in a situation of just trying to make an earning on your own and then accumulate some debt from school, I don't think you are at fault for doing it. We also all have some spending needs sometimes. It's just really important to not to go on a binge of some sort. It's great to help out the needy, to extend out our reach and time for them.

You know what, women may be different from a guy but it's not like I'm not naive enough to not be able to handle them as good friends. To not to really be in their way or try anything bad and if there needs to be something done with them, just talk in an encouraging or concerned manner without trying to bug them or annoy them. They may do this to you sometimes based on the relationship they want to take upon with you, but being a man with a big heart is what my mom seems to really enjoy being around.

Thanks To God For A New Year

The world revolves all around Jesus. Maybe, I'm not cut out to be the guy who does exactly what Jesus of the New Testament did. I'm really enlightened to know what Jesus did for me on the cross about 2010 years ago. What a way to start off the year, Sunday is considered to be the first day of the week to some people. It's a day of rest for many, to take a day off from work, to go on a picnic with friends and family, or to finish off a cool camping weekend, and so on. I'm so privileged in this world to know that I have a place on this blog. =D To be able to post every thought and to never worry about it being scorned upon by some people who think that it's cool to laugh about stuff that I don't even know about.

It's about putting our trust in the Lord for all our needs, to worship Him in times of triumph and also in times of mourning and in peril, to really center our devotion upon the one who started it all for us. It's good stuff, does it really matter for me to try to be a good guy? I think that it does in the incidents of little things that became too out of hand. This is so good for me because I get to really exercise permissibly from the help of the Holy Spirit healthy decisions to resolve something that seemed so out of hand and to really be more focused in this world with a bunch of hope that won't die.

Morning runs

I have stuff to do. I guess playing video games and watching television all the time for me sort of translates to depression. No, I'm sort of joking but it does not really fulfill my aggressive needs of being out there, working hard, and being rewarded from some labor. What I'm going to try to do now is observe some discipline of not playing video games and watching television whenever I am by myself. I am getting really used to myself now that someone used to think I was a bipolar person or very depressed about stuff or needed some mental help. All of that stuff is really making me laugh now internally. To get a person to let you show up on his or her facebook profile, you pretty much need to be really nice with them and in a pretty consistent basis. I don't feel that shy about it anymore or feeling so irritated that I would have to yell at the top of my lungs. They can feel that way and find out through others that I am not really like that.

Happy New Years

Not posting anything on the first day of the year would be like a cruel joke for me now. Last year, I managed to post something about half the amount of the year. It's really cool to be alive today and happy to be able to make any New Years resolutions. My main ones are pretty much to work out and be more focused in finding a more suitable job for myself. It's also to get involved more and to pretty much start reading the Bible everyday. I guess that's a good thing to do in reading the Bible. It only takes about 15 minutes a day to finish the whole year. I'm going to try this. It looks like a wonderful plan to do, which I will try so hard in accomplishing. That's it, without decreasing any fun for myself I should really focus on discipline and mastering my own busy schedule so that I am capable in enjoying good stuff.

Just work at it

Okay this is so hard because life is not that easy. Okay I'm just randomly writing something right now. I'm just going to make this thing really short today. It does not matter what I am putting here as long as I put something down here everyday. It's time to add in some consistency to the best of my ability and to use the stuff that are more worthwhile and going for.

Finishing What You Started

There's a list that I am going shamelessly put in what I'm going to finish now. Right now, I am an independent contractor who has several opportunities if I am willing to travel far and am smart in how I manage my hours. I am also in line for the cool job with employment.

Here's my list that I'm going to finish if I make it so far in life:

1. Make a video game

2. Write a book

3. Convince some girls to let others see me on their facebook profile. =D (more on this later)

4. become employed at a radio station

5. get a license to drive a stupid bus

6. become a trained medical transcriptionist

7. put a website while applying all this naughty training with earning money

8. become an all-around I.T. expert

9. grow taller, get a six-pac, become a triathlon athlete

10. start giving money away (that I earn from having good cash flow) like crazy to good charities and wonderful organizations like a good Biblical based ministry.

What can I do?

This is really dumb writing about all the other jobs out there that I could do when I already have a job. Nonetheless, I'm going to write this one really fast. I don't care what I'm putting here so I'm going to analyze some situations for myself.

Life is hard and sometimes our psychological situations make it really hard for us to continue working, but it's through tough times and remaining good and living under the principles of the Bible that I believe any man can find peace and happiness while living on this world. Overall, you gotta just do what you have to do.

These are the opportunities that have stuck with me so far even under all this trouble in finding a job and stuff like that. I might as well detail it because it does not matter if people want to follow it or not or even be like the last person on the world to be treated to it. The reason why they may not be so popular is because you have to personally invest your money into it. It also takes time to finish the training. These things are such a hassle in its actuality and really force people to compromise. That's probably why they are like the most annoying jobs to apply for no matter how much they say they don't want you. Everybody would like a job where you don't have to put any money or additional time into it and then get paid a grip load. Unfortunately, I'm seeing a lot of jobs where anybody is being taken as long as they put some money into. That's what I hate the most sometimes about commission-related work. Even a restraining order can't really affect you from obtaining one of these jobs as you commit to it and finish the program.

1. Bus driver : you basically get a bus permit and then drive a stupid yellow bus that you order around and maintain kids under peaceful situations. Minimum start up is about $100 to pay for the cat-scan and bus license fees.

2. Mystery Shopper: you get paid some money as long as you fill out the forms properly. Minimum start up is about $25 to get a Silver Certification.

3. Medical transcriptionist: you get to work at home transcribing words that doctors record in speech. You then have to put all of his talk on paper and make it professional so everybody can be happy and manage medical information on a patient.

4. Car dealership: it's still around. The business may be so bad right now but people still work at the location and some places are doing better than others. Despite the economic problems, people still need cars and I think used cars can make a dealer a lot more profit than a new car.

5. Military/Police force: if you are still young and possibly thinking about serving the country. It might be a way to go, but it all depends on the person.

6. Radio D.J. - by responding to some ad, some radio stations need a little more help to maintain their station around the clock.

7. Internet marketing: if it's true about what some stories I read claim, you could be cashing in some huge stock-piles of money if you know where to put in your money.

8. Technology: This is something that depends on every other person. There are a lot of certifications that you could study for but these exams are pretty expensive and can a lot of time to cram and really take awhile to absorb what is needed.

9. Study law or medicine or anything requiring a license or registration with what people need (ex. optometry, dentistry, dermatology, financing/accounting). It also can be bad if you accumulate debt and don't really like the job or bail out after awhile.

10. Real estate: it's a pretty huge gamble investing in some nice homes to sell, but if the timing is right and you provide pretty good service. I'm sure it's worth the passion in selling a home to happy customers. People can make a lot of money selling homes.

11. Stock market: people have been known to grow broke or get really rich. This is a game that's pretty difficult to play but when the opportunity arises from all the studying and researching you put into it, you really end up big. You do need a side job to invest some. I think this is more like a supplement to your primary job, but if you are willing to risk it all then maybe this might not be that bad instead of taking the money to a casino.

12. Self-contracting: you name it basically- for me maybe becoming a free-lance writer would be fun for me but such a huge struggle and gamble. I would seriously need to balance my time a lot better and hope that the family I love to serve would understand my situation and be patient and understanding with me.

Personal conclusion/opinion:

okay, what should I do from here on out? Just do whatever because all of these options are not really that bad as long as I'm making something right now who really cares when it comes to providing for others and not being a pest to this world. I think I'm going to leave out the military part because I'm sort of reaching an age where my pride level is not really where it used to be. I want to leave the position open for those who really want to be in the front line and truly protect this country from a threat that is trying to get to us. It would be exciting to be out there and to really fulfill a goal in a team-working environment. God's always watching the children of God and has a place for them. I think praying for the soldiers' family is something that we could do sometimes.

Writing to Perfection

I don't mean to sound so egocentric. I'm just sort of messing around with this blog right now. I don't really care what I'm putting here because it's like my place of just releasing everything that I need to say. I heard from my little sister that this one guy started writing all this bad stuff about other people and built a bad reputation for himself because it sounded like he was making stuff up. People would go on the blog and start reading all that interesting gossip that happened. That's pretty funny and evil at the same time.

I read on Wikipedia this one baseball player wrote something bad about his former teammate who was a closer on a team that made the World Series. The pitcher became so mad at the shortstop that he felt that everybody close to him wanted him to beat the later so badly on the baseball field. Sure enough, he had already plunked the player twice with the ball when they faced each other on opposite ends! It's like everybody close to baseball sort of knew it was coming and had to cover their face or just make a gesture to laugh about it.

Sticking To Good Values

Okay, this is just having fun again. I'm going to start working really hard and now I'm going to deal with the high point and low points of my life in the season that I have already gone through. In the past, it might been pretty difficult for me to understand some situations, but now I'm doing pretty well. I'm not worried about a lot of stuff anymore and just need to work very hard. Being as real as possible seems to be good for me. To really stick to the principles of the Bible, it's really making me realize the freedom that is associated with it. The goodness that is so much a part of it. The peacefulness and satisfaction I get out of it is so much of a marvel for me. I want to really live in the truth, while being aware of everything that is going on in this world. I'm pretty much ready to see how the world could sure use the righteous savior in this lifetime. To go above myself and do the right things and to never worry about being in a high or low position with myself.

Having Fun Today

I guess I'm having some fun today. I really need to start working very hard again. That's pretty much what I'm writing about and focusing on. I guess it's good to bring in the $$$ so you can give all of it to the world. All your hard earned cash. Yes, it's really good to give all of it to someone who really needs it in this world- to the baby who cries all night and does not know what to do with it so you need to help the baby to some healthy vegetables before he or she starts complaining about it. Oh you can promise the kid an ice cream with the super waffle cone every once of in awhile for eating well. That's pretty nice. We all need a little fat in our lives- maybe that fat is microscopic with the muscles that can burn an athletic dude's six pack but other than that I think I'm fine in working up a six pack abs. Yes, it's really hard to do even with medication but medication is too painful for me realizing how it could be dangerous and unnatural. I'm going to just struggle to get a six pack and hopefully get it some day after climbing a couple thousand mountains in the U.S.

Second Post

It's Christmas Day and I'm writing something again. I'm just trying to hit the quota of having a post per day at the end of the month. This is where I don't expect anything to happen for me. To just be normal about circumstances and everything. Being a really laid back and down-to-earth type of guy seems to be very good. To enjoy the fruits of labor for the future, I really need to be so diligent. Am I going to change everything about myself? Most probably, not. I don't think this is really healthy in trying to communicate with someone you really want to pursue after, especially when you don't try to communicate anything directly with her in this blog.

Merry Christmas!

Hello, I missed a blog post yesterday because I was really busy. I'm just going to type really fast right now and make something up. My life right now is about working very hard for all that I know and being content with myself. What I life should be more about is loving Jesus. There's someone that I really like right now and I'm just typing stuff away so it seems like this place is just annoying someone I don't even come in contact with. =( Unfortunately, I don't know everything that I should know.

This is my mistake. I became so frustrated about everything and created lots of damage to myself. I thought being frustrated was one of my strongest points, yet it's a buildup where others felt I was sort of weird. I'm starting to see this egocentricity that I had for myself. I should not have gone that direction, ever and it's really difficult to be always good; despite being around people who try to challenge you. I remember the emotions that occurred when this happened with me doing this to other people. These details are so candid for me right now that I'm making some noise that's easy to overlook. I need to look at the right places now.

Just Writing

It's just another beautiful morning today, as Christmas Eve is tomorrow. I am looking forward to having a good time for the winter. I'm not really stuck on the events that happened to me, and I'm very fortunate that with some of the things I've done, I'm still not in prison. It's been quite a ride for me, and I'm starting to understand things a little better. It just takes time and a lot of patience in dealing with some people who seem to be making you feel lots of trouble. I mean, everybody has their own level of preference in how to do things. It takes a lot of heart to progress and overcome circumstances and obstacles.

For me, I've found something covert to do which is definitely legal in making an earning. I have some nepotism with my dad's company because they feed me free gas whenever I need it. This means that I could drive to Las Vegas whenever I want to and never worry about gas, except for oil changes. I still technically have free oil changes with a car that I bought awhile ago. I guess if you have a functional brain and willing to do things a little off (not morally corrupt jobs) to compensate for the nation's lack of economic activity, then it seems like there are still endless opportunities. Being one-dimensional has its disadvantages.

Christmas Time Is Around The Corner

Sometimes life deals you a hand that you don't really want to deal with. It's important to still be diligent and to try with all your ability. Even if results don't occur after everything you've given, I'm sure there's a way to get around it. It's really hard basically to get there. I guess always writing may sometimes be a waste of time. I believe that my personality is leading me to a hard work ethic where I will be working very long hours in whatever I decide to do. I might as well become really smart with my time management now. Becoming free from any obligations will be a reward that I can find so fulfilling and to really worship the Lord for.

Enjoying Stuff

Even though the past created such a diversion in my life, it's long passing now. Especially with Christmas Eve coming up, there is so much for me to look forward to. There are still a few individuals who are still a past shadow in my life, who I need to diligently labor with. I'm being pretty extremely open with them of late now and really surprising someone a lot I know. This really happens a lot with me pretty often. I'm a little different- I know. Communicating has never been so much fun.

No need to be so mad...hmm, oh really?

Okay this posting is going to obviously only offend those who are trying to find something bad with me. I'm not going to make it that easy and be so open in this blog for those types of people. Obviously, it seems like writing nothing but good stuff about myself would be a plus for me right?

Especially if I'm not around those people who have sort of been a lost cause with me, then I guess it's going to even offend them even more if they look at this posting. I don't know why this seems to be the case for me, but I'm just going to rely on what I did in the past to sort of help me see through some things for the future. It's a hard world out there, but what's so important is continuing in the path of surrendering to God. I'm not really in the mood for cracking out of my faith; however, it took a lot of applying some personal tests to get to the faith that I'm currently in.

I really need to stop being so punctual in this world with everything now. I refuse to see myself going through a hard time and being so frustrated now. It's a decision that I need to be constantly making for myself. No matter how hard the world gets to you or others do things that really pull your strings. No matter these things because God's love brings me an abundant life.

Feeling Good

Today, I'm finally settling in really great. What I mean is that everything is feeling good for me. I see the good side of things for myself, and how I could really try to make things better for everybody else. I think pursuing after Jesus is really making me become more in touch with myself. It's really helping me to see some nice possibilities and to not really worry about things that much. I really see how I can really persist on some things and how I should really be thinking now. I'm not at all fully bothered with anything anymore. I think I'm totally ready to really live a good life of freedom.

My plans are to add a Christmas tree to the living room and to continue working out while finding the good stuff to develop on. I'm not worried at all with the things that happened to me anymore. I think I really see where the good is really lying.

Getting Over It

I'm writing in such a cryptic manner right now on this blog, that it's so generalized but making sense to me at the same time now. Basically, I'm starting to connect with my own writing like never before and also feeling confident about using it to communicate with other professionals.

We are all born in this world with certain DNA characteristics. Some of us want to be taller, others a little shorter, some want to weigh less, some want to be more better looking, and it goes on. It's so hard to get away with me making fun of girls sometimes if they agitate me so much by saying stuff about their appearance in an indirect way without calling them really gross names. There are just about no girls who will ultimately agitate me about 24-7, except for my little sister.

Even though DNA gets in the way, I still can't help but think about getting taller. I don't want to do this with surgery or anything controversial. I want to grow all natural, but to foster it based upon what I've purchased it's going to take a lot of hard work and some aches with having to stretch your spinal cord everyday or decompressing your bones by hanging on a bar and jumping as high as you can daily. Swimming also seems to be a great way to contribute to growth. Lifting weights is also pretty positive as long as you don't do exercises standing up with heavy weights- that will really stunt your growth while comparing that to some urban myths. Being a short guy with big muscles seems to be acceptable as well.

What matters in the long run is having a REALLY GOOD PERSONAL ATTITUDE. There is no time and space where you cannot get a better job. I believe that money and looks do not necessarily get you all the girls. It's better to save your virginity to focus on the woman you've been accustomed to not worrying about and really trusting in a normal relationship, then to waste it away with other distractions. It also takes work and tons of good chemistry that really should be natural and not forced upon anybody.

Where Do I get To This Point, Before I have fun.

Money does not really grow on trees. It's really something that I've known for a very long time. Right now, I'm trying to figure out a way where I could make money legitimately without having to do that much effort. It also should not have to require of my attention to begging others of their resources. I want it to be based on something that I get really excited about and can enjoy. I want to be focusing my attention on the more serious cares of this world. Like making more friends, hanging out with my date, contributing to society, and loving Jesus most of all. I also would like to build confidence to go out to the gym and know how I could be a servant to my brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Possible Endeavors

I'm going to continue writing about stuff. The trick is not to get so frustrated about anything and to remain cool about it while doing what I'm supposed to do.

I have a way of making some money legitimately right now even though I don't really like the job that much, it's something for right now and I hope to do it temporarily. I'm going to have to just be very diligent at it and eventually get to where I really want to be.

Managing Through All This

I'm starting to live with a better positive attitude for myself. I feel really great about what I have to offer, and I need to not feel so let down with myself especially when I feel that I want to mean well with anything that I'm doing. Despite a lot of bizarre chain reactions that try to frustrate me, I need to lift myself above that surface and really become better at it.

I now need to live in pursuit of managing my time a lot better and being a more improved person mentally, physically, and spiritually. I'm going to start listening to others and not let it really overflow my heart with frustrations now. I'm totally better than all this that has happened to me. I'm pretty much the same spirited person I was since I learned to accept it in lieu of people by loving others with respect and honoring Christ in my heart.

I'm going to have to become diligent like crazy and take some financial risks when I can afford it.

I really need to prioritize a lot better and be more alert and well-focused in life right now. I need to be diligent and really not get so frustrated with myself about anything. The best thing to do is just keep trying and working really hard at it, until you get there. There are no regrets that you should possess for something you should see as very healthy and positive and really reinforcing in a great way.

I need to now really try very hard and not worry about all the mishaps in my life. I need to really manage my time a lot better so that I have time to really do things that I like doing. I need to stop wasting my time and energy now. It looks like I'm not a very desperate and frustrated person as others have been with me. These types of people are very difficult to deal with for me, and I have been dealing with several of them at the same time. It pretty much does not make them very well-off individuals. I'm pretty much going to be different in a better and nicer way even if they try to hide themselves and continue being this selfish.

Releasing Problematic Feelings

I know that many people have this issue while they are growing up, like the people I was around. They were not really that aware of how I was paying attention to them speaking, while I was really confused and quiet. I have been told countless times that I am pretty cool. People have often been confused by me especially those who have been a lost cause. I'm just that good at confusing them like that and then start saying what I need to eventually. I'm not going to talk about the worst stuff about myself obviously and in return I'm also not going to spill out names who were really bad with me right away. I'm just letting go of all my frustrations with people who confused me a lot for a long time because they're words and actions were contradictions. They were pretty much liars and pretty evil about this stuff. It brings a lot of laughter now to really think about how they were evil, and it was really bothering me but now I'm not frustrated with it anymore. I'm doing really fine.

Understanding the meaning of letting go

This is really important sometimes because in life, people can sometimes be a jerk and set you up in some trial you don't want to be in. This has really happened with me. I'm understanding that my side I was being really sensitive and very frustrated at the same time. It was so hard to overcome this area and not do criminal activities with these people. I'm sort of hacker too man if I want to be because I have a degree in Computer Science, not the business-oriented side, the side that focuses on the architecture of computers. Haha.

I'm just kidding about being a hacker, of course. I think I'm really finding a lot of new things in my life and enjoying a feel of a better sense of freedom and maturity. I'm not going to be a mean guy anymore or really hurt other people. I'm just going to be nice about everything to the best of my ability. Even though people may see things a little differently, I have to do my best to explain things without being selfish in general. It's not all that hard to do, if you manage to let go of all your frustrations. I need to explain things without raising my voice and appearing fully angry about things. It's happened with me a few times, and I got away with them but it's not healthy on the long-run and I know that evil people out there would want to get that angry and cause anarchy. I'm just not in the mood for that stuff anymore.

Putting On More Weight and Less Fat

Okay this posting is purely just messing around little with myself and developing better inner humor as I write this. It's just a pretty humorous oxymoron in my opinion. I can see how it might have its usage for someone who is really skinny and needs to add weight. Maybe he just works out so much and then starts gaining muscle, so it really sort of it makes sense actually. Wow, I thought it really wouldn't work out.

With this example that I just described, that's how it is in an argument sometimes. We all need to contribute to our statements that can look logically like a contradiction. I've been sort of bashing or in a less offensive sort of conduct berating someone in writing (hehe), which is definitely uninvited by the whole universe but not really constituting to harassing, because they fail to justify their accusations or points that can aggravate someone like me. In a way, making a point with another accusation like this person has been doing with me and is now trying to hide his face from the whole world, which I need to work with on encouraging him back to good health; is really adding in more contradictions. I spoke with a lawyer and tried to describe it and, she was like "What" the whole time. Haha.

There's A First Time For Everything

I'm just writing this post really quickly and don't expect anything out of this. I am now feeling that there could be someone whose trying to lay out a stupid trap with me. Haha. I think it makes that person very inconsiderate and someone who is about taking away someone's freedom to state whatever is true to his heart. Haha.

This was sort of fun to write that. I'm just practicing my chops by trying to flow a little. I understand that I'm really trying to make ends meet right now and I'm having so much trouble understanding my issues sometimes because it deals with another person. I'm just going to keep writing. I plan on going to this upcoming writer's meeting group now. I look forward to finishing this cheesy story that I'm turning into a novel and let them read it. If it gets published then that's cool, if not then I'm going to pay to have it customized and look like a novel with some independent publishing company. Maybe it will go into the public domain file because it's so cheesy and a fun hobby at the same time for me.

Making Money With Spare Time

I guess I'm really focusing a lot of hard work and attention on doing what I can to make more money on the side while I work with my primary job. My main focus right now is to get the Master's set up and get a really good cash flow so I don't really have to worry about the money and use it to contribute in this world the way I know. I think it's really all about hard work to get to where you want to go. For me, working hard to help out in this world is something that excites me now. I really feel very encouraged to just work hard and be of service to others and to really make an earning that could contribute to the well-being of others.

I'm starting to realize that I should never have been frustrated in the beginning. I should have always put stuff behind me. That's what I have been missing this whole time. Even though a few people I know have been acting out really sick and weird with me, I still am going to love them Jesus-style. Hehe. I don't need to feel frustrated about their own folly, and how it put me in their cross-fire. I should not have been feeling so frustrated at them in the beginning and talking in a nervous manner. That was my mistake and now I've grown from this and know what their mistakes were and can happily live in this world that I know right now. As I constantly repent and run away from my old sins, I'm finding more freedom for myself than I ever knew.

Started Working Out

I sort of started to work out yesterday. It was just doing some fancy stretches that supposedly increase flexibility to your spine. If all goes well, I may look about two inches taller, which would be nice for me. Haha. If not, oh well it was fun buying the book and doing something different. It supposedly takes about 27 weeks to see some true gains. I totally wonder if it's going to work, so I'm going to also add in what I'm supposed to be eating. I'll be working with weights as well just to see how my progress ends up. It's pretty nice that I also built a database form to log while I work out. It's a cool incentive for me. I don't have any trouble feeling I'll keep up with it. Time for me to go back out there and earn some money to pay off my education. Haha.

Just Amusing Myself Truthfully

Just feel like messing around with this posting today. I'm my usual self as I have always been. I just added a little extra baggage to my life, out of trying to observe good character. Wow, life can sometimes feel that way. Where you really want to strive at doing something, but the circumstances just keep pressuring you to fall off your mule. Hehe.

I know that many controversies people wanted to say I had are actually not linked with me anymore. It's linked with them, and they are going to be affecting a lot of people pretty negatively on the long run. Haha. It does not matter whether they want to avoid my writing on this blog or not. They still are going to be influencing others in a deceitful pattern. I totally understand this perception, which is related to putting aside what's tempting me to do something selfish. It is then releasing that energy by applying myself in love with these totally misled people. Haha. It's a lot easier for me to spot them because I have memories of my childhood where a few friends turned on me temporarily and really hurt me. Man, that boy wanted to fight and was acting pretty crazy. I'm all like "Let's 'restle" because I'm so confident I could sit on him while weighing in at about 180 pounds while I was 4' 11". People would be like no way to that description, but yeah I was pretty chunky back then. Haha. Surprising how I eventually disciplined my diet and exercise to avoid a health hazard. Haha.

Just Filling In Something

I'm starting to really get a little more patient with my life. I guess that's a good thing. I'm not sure what to write about right now, except that it's going to take a little effort and practice to stay focused while I'm working on something. I guess I'd like to get some muscles and work out a little more to add in to the work that I'm currently doing. Hehe. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I'm also going to need to read the Bible to finish out the year. I'm doing okay now totally and don't see anything wrong with how I've sort of been thinking. I guess I'm ready to make some big improvements with my life right now.

Setting Personal Stuff Aside

I realize that I'm really better than some people I'm dealing with right now. I know that I'm supposed to just set aside my personal feelings that are not feeling the resolve part. It's been distracting me a lot. Without yelling and turning my thoughts into guilt, I turned to humor and trying to be nice and the best I can be. I can sort of feel proud about this accomplishment, even though it's not that much with me. These people I have been dealing with are actually pretty small in their status. I can now not feel so offended listening to comments or feeling so bothered when I see a cop around. I know what I'm capable of doing and what my rights are and how I will be improvising to keep those unalienable rights upon myself and others without doing anything bad which comes from observing the law of God.

It's a great struggle and much better than just feeling like a sloth. I'm pretty much growing into a more bigger individual now and feel so much better. I don't feel so bothered listening or reading bad comments about myself anymore. I know who I am and what I want to stand for. I'm still not going to let this pressure that they sort of been fostering in a negative way to keep me from helping others in the world. I'm still going to exercise agape love to the best of my ability and to what I know Jesus has done for me. The main things that I'm focusing on is trying to release my frustrations in the most healthy matter. It does not deal with talking to some professional. I know what they are, and if I did not end up in prison for it even though they said I would then I'm practically fine. Haha. I know the consequences now, and how it's going to affect them if they are to add me back in to their lives. I know how I'm going to remain- the best as ever and making room to improve even better and to help others in this world. I feel pretty good. It's all of these thoughts on my father's birthday today. Hehe.

Okay

I'm okay. Just need to relax. I'm doing fine. I really need to just go in and do what I can. I do have what I'm looking for. It looks like I need to keep searching around for bigger opportunities and investing in a company. Right now, I really am going to have to do the best I can. I am going to have to do things that are not very well thought upon by others. Just have a simple job and feeling good about a work that you can go everyday to is such a cool feeling.

What I'm looking for deals with helping others. I would also like something related to technology. I am going to be studying a lot and building upon more knowledge because I need to do this. I need to go out there and work, so I can build some money to test on other things. As long as I don't place myself in a huge deficit and make a consistent effort, then I should be fine. I guess I don't really care about my weaknesses right now. I know what my strengths are and that it surpasses my weaknesses. What I support is the full counsel of God and the truth that is embedded in the pages of the Bible. It's hard to believe and some may think I need to get some help still and in that time, I would have to just talk to them about it by saying they told me that and I just want to get it cleared, even if they feel harassed. I can also do this in front of others too and do it in a nice way without getting too caught up with my emotions. It seems like the best way to approach it and it's going to be a lot of effort on my end. It all seems like a waste, but it's better than nothing in getting rid of my frustrations.

Making Room For Writing

I have been working on a lot of stuff. I realize that sometimes when I justify my meanings appropriately, even if others temporarily see me as being wrong somewhere, I can pass for being an okay individual. Sometimes, it really takes a long time because there are also other areas where I can fall prey under by being hypocritical.

I'm planning on joining a writer's group and going to check out a meeting. I have been working on a story, which is pretty cheesy but sort of fun and creative to talk about. A friend of mine thought it was funny to listen to and thought it was cool that I've been writing about some imaginative story. It must in a way be pretty respectful. I think I have the tools to mark my behaviors into becoming a normal and steadfast and pretty dedicated individual now. It's really thanks to a lot of good people and mainly to Jesus. Jesus' life really shines brightly in my life. What Jesus did on the cross to pay for my sins, it really fueled my life completely in a direction that gave me fire and a life where I could breathe again.

Writing About Something

Hey there, I'm just writing again. I have been doing this for the last two months, and I don't really know what to write today. It's been like this in the past, so I would only leave like a few posts. The great thing is that I strived for at least 4 posts a month. Now, I'm trying to post something everything. I'm running out of ideas, and it's sort of amazing that I keep writing away.

I really am starting to get it now. Some people were thinking I was crazy or something. I really did keep my distance from them, and they still thought I was crazy. Haha. It's starting to make me laugh recalling all of that stuff coming from older people. I'm sort of realizing that it's easy for me to get along with people who are around my age. Oh yeah, I had this dream I was like a flying superman going on vacation to take a break by going to the Antarctic. Pretty funny. Maybe I should sleep with a thicker blanket, I don't know, but I'm sort of enjoying the feel. It's like an air conditioned room for me right now because we're in the Winter. Haha.

Setting Up Personal Schedule

I see what I really want to do. It's going to be very highly difficult for me because of my energy level not being so proactive all the time. It's really easy for me to get so caught up with video games for awhile, and I know it's pretty fun to play with other friends at the same time. I am just going to stick to what I want to pursue after.

Working out is going to start being fun. I have created a database where I can track all my exercises. It's a pretty cool chart using OpenOffice Base. I was working with it yesterday with the online help files. It's a really neat invention. There's a sample CD-Collection template that you could use and to create a form to track things. Base is not a difficult thing to use, and I think it just requires an interest of wanting to learn it. With my computer background and learning to apply myself, I think I can pick up on the technologies while having fun doing something with them. It feels like a rush, and it's a lot of hard work, but in the end it's pretty cool stuff.

It's Been An Interesting Journey

I think I'm sort of living with new ideals. I'm realizing that my temptations are pretty strong and by repetitiously overcoming them, I am becoming stronger. Haha. I'm just a typical guy, but have been characterized as being sensitive even with the most rudest person on the planet with me. It's sometimes going to have be my little sister. Hehe.

I'm sort of laughing at the thought of being intimate with some people because they are giving me a hard time and feel really harassed when I try to talk to them about it. I think the best solution is to talk with them while others are around and then answer the questions of others who are trying to get me to stop. By voicing my concerns which I can obviously do in a unique way, they pretty much just stop because they might feel a little weird about telling me to stop in general. I guess they could be the ones who go through issues that are a little weirder than I thought. There's absolutely nothing wrong about being vocal and strong about it and then trying to correct one another. It's annoying sometimes, but it's a part of being human. It's best to try to forget about everything, and in my case right now I'm going for making some better changes. It's not really like the way it was before. I'm starting to understand this stuff, mechanics, how it keeps my mind healthy, and really punishes the soul of the real perpetrator. It's at a less degree but it's pretty fun to be weird and left alone by others sometimes. Best thing is to forget about it and do what you can because you don't know what's going to happen. I now have a vision to follow for these little things and then to build it to bigger things.