Level of Appropriateness

Well this is something that I'm going to have to end up questioning myself a little in the realm of ethics. From reading up on my own personality, I am naturally made up to be a leader. I have strong qualities in those areas of wanting to improve myself and to be of good service for others. I want to lead a team that's just fired up to do good stuff in this world. I want to be part of a vision that I can successfully hang on to and be boldly happy about with leading the charge, while enjoying the fruits of its labor.

Basically, I'm just a normal person after all everything has happened for me. I'm doing the best I can, but it doesn't matter in the end because everybody is meant for something big in this world. I want to continue to humble myself and just be humorous to the best of my ability. I would like to just continue to focus in general with life.

Let the Good Times Roll

I'm starting to see that things are getting a little busy for me and that I don't really have time for doing some luxuries that I'm accustomed to. I have so many things on my mind at this point in time that the issue with timing has a lot to do with what I'm going through. Overall, I guess it would be nice to be an influence to others in a positive way, but I'm not so good at reaching out to the masses.

For the first part, I'm not someone who looks the part of a charismatic person. Heck, I'm not even the typical person to be supposed to be using the English language. Maybe just hanging in there is probably the best thing I can really come up with and to just be patient about things. It's pretty cool and all, but I see that I can't really make everybody happy. Others are the same way for me too. Yet, I constantly feel like I'm getting somewhere these days. It's just like one day at a time for me.

Journey With Trading Currency

I've adopted a patient method of trading Forex now. For the last three months of demo trading, I've been marginally profitable. My fourth month is also proving to be the same. I will be ready to put in a few grand to invest now starting next month.

Factoring In Stuff

I'm just going to try to have fun with it. That's pretty much all I can really do. I might as well do that and also relax in general. It feels good to be that way and enjoy myself. Man, I don't know what I'm really typing on here. I'm just going random with it again. Nothing really fancy here.

Doing Best I Can

There's pretty much three things that I'm still trying to work on after all these months. I'm still trying to read the Bible, learning to trade currency, and working out. I'm pretty much on my fourth consecutive winning month with trading and it's starting to make me a little profit for the small amount of time I put into it.

My fitness level is like way better than ever as well, and it's like I can't believe I've got this far in a matter of five months of dedicating myself. I don't see myself stopping because I love the energy level that it provides for me while I'm working out.

Moving On

Well, it looks like just me typing on this blog is definitely going to get me a few visitors. These days, I think I'm just this really small guy that nobody really wants to listen to. Yet, I feel comforted from just reading the Bible now.

I also finished reading Marvel's Infinity Gauntlet which is a really cool comic book. Well, nobody really knows what's going to happen to them tomorrow, so why not live it out like it's the last day? It's not easy to do always because sometimes it's just a typical and daily routine that could be filled with heartache.

I personally see that a lot of positive attitude can go into it, along with putting in the effort to get to where you want to be.

Sense of Humor

I think having a sense of humor really helps with feelings of being let down. I think it's really important to have a great deal of patience when it comes to having decent relationships with people. I mean everybody just goes through different walks in life. 

You just can't have it all in this world and not everybody is going to end up with a picture perfect scenario. Even working for it is going to be tough, but all the while it's worth the effort and the experiences you gain from them is sometimes really meaningful. 

I guess when it comes to forming relationships, it's really all about meeting the right people and then just being patient instead of being some weird person that initially scares everybody near them out of some misunderstanding that got out of hand. 

It's an awesome thing that even though time and time again, I may feel let down and sometimes angry with someone and about to blow up on them for something not really that serious; I'm actually glad to take part in this world with someone I'm really interested in getting to know and attracted to. 

I'm just going to continue to improve myself and keep going after my goals. With whatever time may permit, I'll do the best I can. 

Finding A Chance At Love

Hey, I think I'm finally catching onto this whole finding someone to marry thing. It's basically in a nutshell you, the man or woman, find the opposite gender who ends up having feelings of love for you. By doing so, the man can ask the woman who is in love with the man to marry her.

It's just that simple! This was really all under the nose for me. I think the hard part is learning that through the depressing thoughts of having nobody to care for us, it's really just that those feelings are underneath and like something that's coded in our DNA from birth.

It's a natural feeling that you just have to be aware of and by doing so, you can just take control of that emotion and do something about it. You can take charge of that feeling and motivate yourself to feel better by working hard at what it is you are trying to accomplish.

I know that it's hard to do this and sometimes emotions can be just so powerful and overwhelming, but just by giving it some time and having a willful mind to be patient, it allows you to start understanding these basic emotions that we have had to deal with since the beginning from when we were aware of them.

Made Up Story- Day Of Baking Pizza

SNIFF! SNIFF! Kyle was suffering from seasonal hay fever while in his early 30s'. He managed to finally land a job as pizza maker to help pay for his school tuition. He was barely making it and managed to live in his crammed and cozy apartment for a few years. I'm not going back to my crazy folks, thought Kyle to himself. The last he had heard from then was a minute ago because his mother was constantly texting him insecure messages. Come back home Sweetie. Mamma has got some nice T-bone steak cooked for you and some of your favorite apple pie. This was one of the latest texts that was going through Kyle's mind.

The food was always good, but fortunately I have a fast metabolism, thought Kyle. I could live off of just free pizza for ten years.

"Heck, I could just eat toppings to get my daily vitamins in. Let's see, there's tomatoes, bell peppers, anchovies - yum yum (!) my mouth is getting so watery, mushrooms. Man, how can I go wrong? I got this, " Kyle said out loud to himself.

One of his subordinates gave him an odd stare and had an expression that showed neither fear nor approval. AHHH CHOO! AHH CHOO! AHHH CHOO! Kyle started sneezing uncontrollably while he was working with the flour. He accidentally sent powdery substances to the strong air vents and soon enough the whole kitchen was covered in smoke that was a mixture of Kyle's saliva and powder.

Kyle's assistant Ace started coughing and waving at the air as he reached for a cloth to cover his mouth. While scrambling to go tell on Kyle, Ace ended up burning one of his hands in the oven by accident.

"I can't see, it's too cloudy in here Kyle!" yelped Ace.
"Let me help guide you out of there," said Kyle smoothly as he grabbed his assistant's burned hand.
"Ouch! You are hurting me! Let go!"

"Go home Kyle!" yelled his angry boss. "Get those allergies fixed. Here take some of these my doctor prescribed me to use as a sample."

Kyle swallowed a pill blindly. "Boss let me take care of this mess. I'll help clean up."

"Kyle! Just go home. I've had enough stress and worries for today. You are done for the day. I'm going to clock out for you."

Jerk, thought Kyle as he stood there smiling at his boss and nodding affectionately in approval.

Made Up Story - Bible Reading

Oh man, I thought to myself. I felt so sick and tired and really sad. My boss decided to give me an impossible 18-hour shift. I was dying to myself to keep myself awake. I was falling asleep while standing! I couldn't believe that my boss had the nerve to do this me and say that for the whole month I'm being switched over to a salary. I have a few of these shifts remaining. Maybe the Bible will bring me comfort.

I haven't read the Bible in awhile. I think I read one sentence and then lights out. I was knocked out on my own desk. It's so bad that I could use it as a bed time story to force myself to sleep when I have to instead of staying awake.

The next day, I opened the Bible again. Oh man, it's light out. Oh darn it, I had to go to work. I'm going to be late oh no! Save a wretched man like me.

The third day, I look at the cover of the Bible. Blank. The fourth day, it's still going on over and over like this. I want to give the Bible a chance. What's coming over me? It's my stubborn mind that just wants to do foolish things like this.

The wind blew on my face. I unconsciously stashed my copy of the Bible in my picnic basket at a park while going on a lovely play date with my girlfriend. The Bible was there and the wind blew a few pages of the Bible open. Then, my girlfriend Kate decided to flip through the pages a few more times.

She mocked me as she laid there and for the nerdy person she was, she had a pen in her purse and underlined a verse for me to read. She said to read it to her and that it would be like the perfect bedtime story for her. She jokingly said that I better not fall asleep or the food would go to waste for both of us.

I held my breath and thought to myself, if I'm going to marry this decent lady someday then I better be able to suck this in.

"For God so loved the world, " I staggered with my voice. I was falling asleep, oh no!

"That He gave His only begotten Son," I had more lines to read. "That whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." I read a full sentence in the Bible finally. My heart leaped with joy.

My girlfriend sat up and kissed me on the check. "Great job," she said, "when are you ready to attend Sunday service?"

Oh boy. "Amazing!" I said. "Grace, I mean. It's amazing grace. Maybe I'll act a little bit more alive the next time you drag me there sweetie!"

Made Up Story About The Calculator

Johnathan was having a hard time enjoying his life in high school. He wanted to get into an Ivy League school because he just felt a special calling to be there. Early on, he just knew that he wanted to follow in the footsteps of his role model George W. Bush, who went to Yale University and also attended Harvard Business School. Little did America know this, but some critics mocked President Bush's inability to pronounce words properly.

Johnathan became angry with himself while trying to memorize concepts in his Organic Chemistry text book. "I'm just not getting this and it's almost already 12 am," thought Johnathan while he stretched and yawned at his desk. He took out his TI-83 Plus calculator and then started putting in all the formulas he needed because the chemistry teacher would not allow notes for the exams. By the time it was 2 am, Johnathan had created a simple program that would solve some tedious equations by inputting numbers into it. He ended up with an A+ on his exam and reasoned with himself to not brag about it with his peers, out of apprehension of being outed as a cheater. Johnathan was also a candidate for valedictorian at his high school. 

Made Up Story About Mr. Mogi

Mr. Mogi's office was painted in all red to signify that it was the only room inhabited by a human. With thousands of doors jammed together, this color-coded section helped Mogi get to his location a lot faster at the factory. All the other doors were inhabited by his self-operating robots.

Mr. Mogi was working on machining a complicated part for Aerospace Inc. The tools broke and he had to switch them out with new ones and setup the machine again. As he worked, he accidentally nicked his hand. By reflex, Mr. Mogi ended up sucking his own blood while running over to his first aid compartment.

Preventing Future Clashes With People

I sometimes get riled up with stuff that makes me want to feel anger. I need to be careful to not turn on that switch of wrath. If I show it in only small increments and then switch it off, it's going to give some people I used it on some anger management problems.

After all of those incidents happened, I think I'm ready to do the best I can to make myself a better person over the experience. A lot of it is what's underneath me, and from knowing those feelings of discomfort, I can just switch it to a more comfortable feeling when it feels out of tune.

Yet, I think all of this effort of keeping myself in check now and moving forward consistently, it's really from desiring to follow God's Word diligently. God has already done the work, and I'm just in joy from having learned how Biblical principles do contribute to a better life and more blessings that matter to the heart.

Living For More Joy and Less Fear

"I'm in so much pain!" screamed the demoness. "He's coming too close to me! Arghhhhh." These are the screams that a man of my stature and exact likeness would love to dream about. Actually, since I'm narrating and this is my story, let's hypothetically say this was true, would I really be playing with fire?

This is just a whole bunch of nonsense but I feel the terror like what if I said I'm imagining myself terrorizing Satan's daughter! No, that can't be right and ending up in a marriage with her is just so not supported in the Bible. Okay, I don't believe Satan has a daughter and then why did I entertain it? I used the word demoness, so I needed a play-on character with something. This is all make believe and hocus pocus stuff to try to get to my point.

Jesus died for me and you. Okay, and then he conquered hell. That feels good and is like the most important story that everyone should believe upon if he or she ever gets the chance to.

Within You

Within you lies the "feels good" power. Literally, such a thing called the "feels good" power does exist. Sometimes it's clouded by distractions such as sadness and anger. The feels good power can arise out of our systems when we try to evoke some phenomenon that reach out to other galaxies beyond the furthest reach of humanity itself. To the home of aliens maybe, they too might have the privilege of practicing laughter!

Blank Story

Cool story brah!

Breaking Fourth Wall

A man walked into the middle of nowhere. "Alas," he said, "alas? What does that mean? Tell me reader!" For all its hype and creativity, I am a character of this story. I have been ingesting food for thought all day. I feel so queasy! This is a story about a man who was breaking the fourth wall.

"I can be like Deadpool too," said the man. "Did I get your attention? No?! Okay." The man felt very lonely after saying those statements out loud to himself. I conclude this short story of the man who was trying to break on through to the other side. Those lyrics of The Doors still resonate deeply within me.

Another Made Up Story

"Fantastic to see you burning up, mate!" said a man with a high-pitched masculine and Australian accent over the cell phone. Jerry peaked into his mailbox and took out a postcard with a full-sized photo of his friend's pet kangaroo posing with punching gloves on the front side and then flipped it over to nonchalantly see the same phrase reiterated next to his stamped address.

"When are you finally giving me your address without having to hack your phone, you wild ass?", Jerry sarcastically asked on the phone. Immediately after sensing anticipation, he drew the HTC away from him and rolled his eyes while his friend Jack erupted in laughter on the other line. After catching each other's breath, Jack resumed, "How's Jenny?"

"I don't know, she left me! I'm stuck living in the middle of Death Valley until I finish my poorly funded research. It's so freaking hot here." Jerry stood there lamenting about how his unwavering dedication to his scientific community was contributing to his crumbling marriage with his high school sweetheart.  

Trying To Stay Nice

With people having tried to screw me over with the most stupid things in the world, I just don't care now because I still have money and friends! I'm not incarcerated because they are a bunch of idiots who couldn't control their anger problems with me. I don't really care anymore what they did to offend me in the past. I'm ready to turn the page and reconcile with whatever remains in their rotten heads.

The reason why I got involved in those stupid misunderstandings is because I was texting them snide jokes about how they were giving me anger management issues. I guess I'm grateful to just have entertaining and simple text conversations with people I'm attracted to, so it's been a really good incentive for me to gain better grounding in a moral sense. I'm just starting to get really comfortable with my own shell now.

Losing My Touch

I guess I've been spending time texting other people that I've lost track of how to put something on this blog. You know, I actually prefer texting others and getting response back rather than putting on something here that no one is going to be able to respond to because I intentionally took commenting privileges off.

I guess after staring at the 0 comments for a long time on this pretty generic looking blog that nobody needs to read for anything significant, except just me exercising my personality drives, it would make sense for me to disable the comments for aesthetic purposes because there's really no point for people to make a discussion against my brain. It's probably more like shut themselves off from me making a nice effort, unless I just get them really riled up. I'm not going to do that. At least, having this blog, I get to explain myself repetitively!

Making Up a Pointless Story

Once upon a time, a man named Gringo wondered after all these years why people would stare at him. Throughout his life, he managed only one friendship with a shy girl, who he knew from his childhood and held very dear to his heart. Wilma had a fine complexion about her and liked to wear a blue dress on most occasions. She liked to wear her hair in a ball-like fashion. She used to dread how she was raised in a family that had a phobia for the color red and was forced to help them cope with it by dying her natural red hair to her next preference of hair color, brunette!

Guess I'm Meant For One-on-One Interaction

I can't really appeal to the masses that well because it always leaves me feeling uncomfortable and disgruntled. I just have that personal wave of discomfort underneath me. This one girl thought I needed some speech therapy so she recommended that I go to this one person. I don't know what she was smoking, but from how she said it, she was just handed a Master's in Psychology for just letting her mind run however she wanted to when it came to her analysis. Man, she was a bit hairy literally and also taller than me too, so yeah, I couldn't help but feel not very attracted to her and also I don't know why, I wasn't that intimidated by her.

I think I was just feeling pressured a lot because I wanted to say the right things and act the proper way all the time. I was afraid of getting mad when people started to go out of their way to try to give me bad advice. I felt like I was going to lose it so badly, that I ended up doing passive aggressive attacks to redirect my frustrations and then they received them and couldn't cope with anger I had already been learning to come to terms with all my life.

Settling My Instincts

Okay, I guess it's all a part of life with being guys and all. Feeling like a loser or a wimp or a nobody who has nothing going for him. Practically, just being unhappy about life. I know a guy who feels that way, but he's just not smart I guess to figure it out.

I think it's all just a part of life that we all go through. It's just a phase. It's something that we are sometimes wired to feel that way for some reason. It just comes and go. It's a part of us internally and something we can regulate within ourselves to make our lives better.

One of the biggest fears I have is probably the reason why I don't strive to make this blog so great. I'm afraid that I'll put down something that makes me largely misunderstood for and just create more rambunctious people to start running their mouths about me and try to get me in trouble. It's happened to me on numerous occasions and I've failed to deliver because I don't want to unleash my "Hulk" - you know that green, raving, terrorizing monster that just can rip people apart after he screams so loud that the other person's lungs feel like popping!

I'm joking which is a good sign of my unconventional humor. I've developed some reason to just make comments that nobody really appreciates, but those people leave me alone. I'm always making those types of comments so that people wouldn't under appreciate the comments I make and then start trying to bash me.

Totally Behind Here

It feels like this blog is just practically a whole bunch of just putting them random sentences to just keep my mind occupied. Maybe I should just start writing stories that have no coherence at all! Sure, a few people I show this website will be like whoa, you actually have one. I didn't know about this guy. Next thing you know, some guy is misunderstanding me and then making all of these rude assumptions about me.

It happens I guess and for some reason, I don't really know, I'm just trying to be cool with everybody. Actually, for the most part, I really am and I guess I've been letting some little things get to me about people. It's those little things that keep me from connecting with them. Well, everybody goes through problems and this spunky site of mine where I just get to write sentences that I find funny just to entertain myself and anyone else who just happened to find it, I don't really know what else to say now.

Controlling the Mood

I've read that calming the mind can be pretty relaxing by learning to meditate. Honestly, I think it's really hard to meditate on the Word of God. It would be quite troublesome actually to try to recall passages that seem so hard to understand. Yet, going through all of that process and eventually just looking up interpretations from Biblical scholars and sitting through it a little and relying on other verses to double check their work is trustworthy, I find that God's Word is totally rewarding and can put a protective shield around one's heart.

One of the latest things that I ignored reading in the Bible is that a man who vents all of his frustrations is a fool! The wise man knows how to control those emotions and not show it to everybody. I'm now honestly going this route because I seriously believe that it's true and has some deep meaning.

Instead of being a stupid and unfair man who yells at everybody for causing him some anger issues, I'd rather stay calm and knowledgeable with the situation I'm dealing with currently.

Not Feeling Too Excited About Being Part of History

Yesterday, the Golden State Warriors of the NBA beat the Memphis Grizzlies to give themselves the all-time record of most wins in a single season with 73 and 9 losses. The previous record was 72-10 with Michael Jordan leading his Bulls. I think it's cool to have lived through both of those moments, but I was unaware when the Bulls set their record. In a way, it's okay I guess now that I was able to actually see what was happening.

Maybe, if the Los Angeles Angels of the MLB end up having the best record again and then win the World Series, I'll be feeling actually pretty good about it for days. For now, with the Warriors, I think all I can is to just sit at the comfort of my own couch and then congratulate them via twitter or some social form of contact.

Trying To Not Neglect This

Well, now I've been picking up on a few tricks here and there. I mean I'm pretty cool with how things are progressing, but it looks like how I'm going to find dates is just finding a girl who is single and interested in me after meeting her in person! That's pretty much it. I used to be shy because I didn't know what I was doing and felt like a loser from being a short guy. I know, pains that stick to you from adolescence really suck!

I've been realizing more and more that my desires are really rooted in my own selfish pretenses. As strange as that seems, it's just how I never really imagined myself seeing that way. I think the more bigger reason is because I'm trying to live in God's Word when it comes to dating and living one's life. Just the fact that I have the temptation right in front of me and making the choice to not really give into my primal urges and exercise self-awareness and control makes me feel like a stronger and energetic person. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm glad that I've finally developed a pretty neat relationship with a lady. It's been helpful to me in that I have someone who is actually fun and someone I can look forward to doing stuff with. She's a really cool and nice friend, practically at the moment. I don't know where it's going to progress in the future, but I'm open to possibilities and I think it can only keep getting better, unless something happens and then we plateau somewhere.

Proper Time Management

It looks like I'm moving myself away from trying to be a professional bowler now! I do enjoy the game a lot, so I wish I was good enough already to lock in the millions of dollars from competitions and just have fun with my life. Well, it's not going to happen. You can't always have everything in your life, especially if you aren't willing to put in an insane and stupid amount of time with something.

With that happening, I see myself actually forming a rock/pop band for just fun now. I'm already okay at playing the piano and can bust out a few tunes from having practiced them for several months. However, I want to try learning the electric guitar for fun and see where that journey will take me. I believe that I might be able to foster a good rocker's voice, if I train myself with a talented vocal coach.

I honestly think it would be really cool to meet and date a girl who is quite into Magic: the Gathering. It would be such a delight to bring her to some card shops and let her socialize with the other guys. I wouldn't care if she beat me or talked smack to me so much, but for like my closest friend, man I get so worked up and try not to let it get to me all the time. All of a sudden, I decided to not to play my prized deck against him. He's always up for that challenge though, but I'm just not in the mood anymore.

I just read in the Bible that venting is for fools and that a wise man knows how to keep it in under control (Proverbs 29:11). This is pretty much how it is, and I'm sheepishly feeling grateful over this, but I'm actually glad that fools don't really like to be my friend. I'm not going to say everything that I'm feeling anymore. I'm going to put a lid on it and find sound reasons for what's happening.

Exercising Discipline

I don't really have a lot of this discipline. What I do have is habits. I feel like doing something consistently when it turns into a habit. I can just continuously and aimlessly be stupid and go after things that don't make sense! I think I was trying to stand up for what I believe in which is really my motive and doing the best I can to conceal my anger.

It didn't work out well because I was trying to be nice. Well, from showing my true colors which I think was mean, I ended up being the best of friends with some people. That just goes to show that stressing out over feeling like how I'm so mean isn't really going to make that relationship last. I think it just comes down to laying out an emotional foundation and building upon it using trust, generosity, friendliness, and acceptance.

I was confided in really well by those people who were a bunch of jerks with me initially. I ended up being nice friends with them. I think I was just trying to hold back because I'm just thinking that what I'm doing is a sin. It's more like, I'm trying to go for the higher ground which is being a cool person and knowledgeable as well in dealing with situations.

I'm not going to fruitlessly watch T.V. and play video games, neither am I going to play Magic: the Gathering for awhile and just go searching for dates I guess or just go reading up on stuff that I would like to get better at.

Looking At the Right Places

I don't really want to be scandalous and steal people's girlfriends. Some guys are open to try stealing mine, but I'm not going to do it out of just respect no matter how much I think I'm compatible with a lady. It's just my own code that I have decided to live by. Besides, relationships can sometimes be meant to be broken, so what's the point of intentionally being the focal point of a serious breakup?

I really hate that, and it was that irritation between two guys who were fighting over me that I earned myself a restraining order from a troubled man! He's a pretty bad guy. He cheated on his own wife, what a stupid man too. He raised my eyebrows a lot, and I was out to get revenge for the restraining order he planted on me, so his ex who used to be my friend is never going to understand that. I didn't tell her that was my motive. I was trying to hide it because I didn't want to accept what I was doing is evil and so scandalous! I was going to set a bag of dog poop on fire and force him to clean it up on his property.

What's really cool is that I'm now able to talk with women as just friends now. I just need to talk to the single ladies more. I've been more associated with girls who have boyfriends or maybe they just got in a relationship and I just didn't notice. Well, it's time for me to upgrade to a girl who I think is even better than the other girls I ended up liking for a relationship.

I think the secret might be through connections, so by being friends with these friendly and beautiful women, they might attract some more beautiful friends and I might get an opportunity to be friends with them and maybe, if it just hits in a natural setting, I might be able to settle down with my dream beauty. I'll take my time on it and not rush things, like some people are apt to doing while being swept off their feet.

Never know, you might find something you don't like. Anyway, it's cool that I approached women with the whole, unconditional mindset of acceptance. I think that's what they feel comfortable being around and will encourage them to open up. If I can set my eyes on a really beautiful girl who happens to be available and is open to committing with me, then wow, it would be like mission impossible that came true.

Making Friends and Meeting Fun

It's a lot of fun in meeting different people. I'm just taking my time and not really being that active, but definitely making some friends with girls has helped me so much! I'm just going to continue to just be nice and helpful with this one girl I like. I don't really care that she's dating someone and just wants to be friends with me. I guess I'm just naturally nice to people I really like. I'm a little sad, but it's not something that I'm going to hold on to forever. Maybe, I can meet more girls I'm attracted to and be friends with the really nice ones who have the right personality, if they are dating others as well.

Overall, there's really no trouble in being friends with people who are taken already, but being attracted to them. I guess it's a feeling that's going to be overlooked as you move on and fall in love with someone better than that person. Yeah, I think it's really important that I settle down with someone I'm totally cool with and sure about.

Nothing Really

I feel like I'm this really short guy, but that doesn't seem to be stopping me anymore. Honestly, now with this experience of becoming a nice friend with a beautiful girl I like, I'm really glad that I tried sticking with God's principles! Through the trials, I decided to honor God's ways despite me not wanting to while being caught up in the moment.

I now realize how if I had fully been immersed in God's ways then I would be having better relief than I'm in right now. Anyway, it isn't really picture perfect with the girl and her situation seems to be a little messy. It's funny that she revealed it to me in a comfortable fashion. I guess I'm seriously cool with that.

Definitely, I have a nice friend in a girl now. Someone who is chill and open to me coming out to hang with her when she has the time and mood for it.

Getting Used To Things

Sometimes, you just can't have everything in life. I think God's ways are really there to protect us from getting in some deep trouble. True, conflict exists and some people will be fortunate enough to figure out their own mess. This doesn't really happen for everyone though.

Well, I found out the girl I like has already been dating someone for like a few years. We have gotten along really well as friends. I mean I'm really grateful that I learned to be patient with people from texting her on a long term scale. She's still someone who can be a nice friend to talk to over the years and developments.

Anyway, she's so cool and I guess I might be able to meet other cool people as well. I mean I could meet someone who could be a lot better for me than her. This could be a wonderful opportunity to go on that search, so even though I feel a little sad about not having the happiness in the moment, it's still pretty cool to think and laugh about. I'm still enjoying having a friendship with her and just hanging out to do fun stuff. It's just talking and being cool with each other. She makes me laugh, and I can see her providing nice advice in the future.

Totally Keeping Myself In Line

These days, my blog isn't really so hot anymore. I think my peek was when it reached just a 1000 views on a blog site that just has a bunch of text. It grew in numbers when I was posting stuff that I didn't feeling comfortable about reading myself. Uh oh!

I think the trend is really that I need to post this site on a daily basis and update it without acting like I forgot about it. I think that's the reason why I'm not getting any visitors on this site anymore. If you don't put in the work consistently, then you can forget about it. Anyhow, it just looks like I'm not caring so much about the quality of my work now and putting down whatever my individualistic self wants to say. I'm just not that attractive I guess, but to a degree, I can say stuff.

Going For An Upgrade

Well, looks like not a lot of people really like to share my own sense of unique vision with humor. It must make them think about themselves and how they aren't doing so hot or what they could do to improve themselves. I don't think telling jokes with people really matter anyway.

Maybe the crowd is just in the mood for being evil sometimes. I mean people can laugh at sick jokes and think it's nothing. I do it too! My heart is evil like that, and I admit while laughing to it. It's not really a good thing to get involved with it in real life. It's like if people talk about doing evil stuff, I'd have to question if they are joking. If they are serious, oh mean, I wish I could do something to prevent it. I guess there's morals that we need to check up on as well.

That's A Wrap

Okay, so my plan is to basically continue working out and eating healthy to get to a six pack. It's going to happen someday. Maybe by the time next year rolls around. I don't know, but for some reason, I'm really enjoying the benefits of doing these healthy activities. I just feel so much more energy and confident about being out-going. It's like if I have a six pack, despite me being a shorty who has only gained 1/2 inch from forcing himself through some spinal straightening stretches. Actually, it feels good, I don't know why I stopped doing it. It's a pain to do each night, but after you are done, it feels so relieving. I need to go back into doing these stretches. They are actually beneficial at least in one way or another. They help out with having better posture so it would prevent me from bending my back at the old grumpy age of 100!

It's also good knowledge to pass on to the younger generation, if I can remember all of those fifty exercises and stretches off the top of my head. I will force my young ones to gain eidetic memory! If you treat it like a fun game even for mentally challenged people, then anything is possible right?

This is fun actually. Just humoring myself to pass away the time in a gentle and harmless manner while making fun of the people who gave me a hard time very nonchalantly. It's all good in that I really chose not to flip out and turn into an angry emotional train wreck that just psychotically crashes his mind's vehicle onto others' mental space and then out of feeling bad, forcing them to rebuild while putting up with me being around them, while I do it in a smart, but very naughty manner that others would have sympathy with me over doing. I'm a genius in this manner of just going all rouge in the emotional sector to suit the needs of humanity while trying to find myself in a decent light while pushing myself in an aimless manner.

Basically, the situation isn't that serious and I'm just going all ballistic to the point that my actions become understandable and tolerated by the person who really couldn't stand me in the beginning. I just didn't do it repetitively because it felt bad. I would really have to go against my human emotions to go with that type of rough but caring agenda. I'm not going back there. I would rather be this cool cat!

So on top of working out and trying to fix my TV watching habits and be consistent with reading the Bible and working on becoming a millionaire through trading currency, stocks, and options, that's pretty much how I'm trying to work on myself. I am interested in someone right now too and she's really nice and fun to be around for my taste. I guess I'd like to settle down with her, if I was given the option at this moment in time because that type of feeling doesn't come around too often and I'd be happy with her looks too! Just thinking about the possibility of her going with a different direction doesn't make me feel insecure because just the time I spent with her makes me feel grateful. It feels like a privilege, if it ever gets there and I think it would be like a really fun ride all the way.

What This Is Reminding Me Of

I remember the days where I would look at Sports Illustrated magazines. Yes, the coveted bathing suits edition. I think I had one underneath my bed that I kept for years and then nonchalantly, it disappeared. Tapping back into my repressed memory, I think I caught a glimpse of my mother grinning sheepishly away from my direction. I honestly don't know what happened to it. Maybe, it got recycled.

Those were my teenager days, where I would never dare myself to go the extra mile to do what other trouble makers did out of having an inferiority complex! I guess my inferiority complex protected me very mightily by aiding me just a bit in becoming sensitive with the Holy Spirit by the grace of God. Hey, I can say that in a humorous fashion because it's true. I may be crude because I'm not using my words appropriately and conveying bad stuff tor people who go off thinking in another direction because of how I worded something and got misinterpreted.

Yeah, being misunderstood and then getting yelled at by an immature peer last year. I still remember saying that he's not mad at me for yelling, but just repeating himself because I didn't hear him. He yelled after repeating himself all in one day. Okay, it wasn't serious. He was mad because I messed up his head after sending him an angry text.

I guess those kind of misunderstandings can happen sometimes. I wonder what if I yelled at him and asked him if he thought I was angry and then told him I wasn't. I wonder if he would have believed me and then pointed out he was doing the same. I'm actually this type of person sometimes who can communicate like this, but now that I look back, even though I'm tempted to regret not having done that.

I'm actually glad I didn't yell at him in person for yelling at me first. I could have dealt with it in a really sinister and slick manner. I could have said some things that would have been like sharp arrows that pierced his soul! I just didn't bother to go that route.

Now that it's over and wasn't really serious to begin with and the next time, it could happen again. What would I really do next time when I feel like flipping my world upside down to empty out the garbage?

Adjusting Habits

Habits are so hard to ease off of. It's like now almost near impossible for me to not go work out at a gym and also try to eat right. I guess that's a good thing then now!

However, I'm still watching T.V. mindlessly. It's those baseball games that get to me and hockey also. Man, they are fun to watch even though I know the team that's going to lose. I sometimes like to watch my team cream the opposition if I know it's going to be a slaughter like it was last night. The Anaheim Ducks scored 8 goals off of that small net with a huge, mean and fat goalie who is placed on the ice like an inseparable attachment!

I don't think they cared so much because the other team did well in scoring three goals! For the LA Kings game I saw live recently, my dad was complaining about how the net should be wider so that it would be more exciting like basketball. It would be a high scoring game! I think it wouldn't be so much as fun in my opinion. It would probably be cool for a few games, then I think the NHL would start losing a lot of money and the goalies would protest about players cheating.

Okay, so how did my mind get off of TV habits and talk about stuff that I'm watching? I guess it's just a coincidence that one thing leads to another. Seriously, that's what he (me) said.

Oh Yeah

I have a few posts remaining and I'm trying to be a little more consistent like I haven't been all of these ten years, but the only reliable thing that came out of this blog is that I have been averaging one post a day for the last six years. Wow, that's a long time. It's enough work at a job place to be considered the go-to expert. Like that really happens in reality. Okay, maybe more like mid-level employee.

I'm being paid like a mid-level employee these days at my job anyway. I can't really complain and it makes me want to work harder to be so good at my job that no one can beat me! I'm friendly with everybody so that I can pick their brains and just beat them in a healthy fashion. Why not? It's not being a sociopath. It's just being a wise-crack! Wouldn't one say?

New Hobbies

Well, it looks like my trading scheme is going okay for the second month in a row. I see it as a personal endeavor and how it can really be so risky for anyone to be a part of. I guess the way I see it is that I'm going to be learning from the experts, but I can't really bear taking on the responsibility of managing other people's accounts when I do become successful. I don't care about being paid for it either. I would rather do my own and be successful with it.

A part of me feels like it's a gamble if I were to teach others how to trade, so I'm not going to encourage it no matter how much I get so good at it and end up making a good living off of it. Today, I just tried to sing on my Xbox while playing Guitar Hero and the Beatles Rock Band on expert level. I had a hard time, but it was fun. I only managed to pass two songs on my first session. I reached about 61% efficiency. It's encouraging in that even though I kept faltering, by continuously playing it, I became more familiar with the rhythm, but also the game also cares about your pitch so it makes it incredibly difficult to reach the high notes for me.

Happy Good Friday

I really endeavor to read my Bible and get a nice spiritual understanding off of it everyday. So today is supposed to the day of observance that Jesus was crucified and on Easter is the day that he resurrected and the tomb was empty! 

In contrast to how the original Jesus and his disciples were about being peaceful and loving to everybody who hated their guts, Muhammad ended up slicing people's heads off while calling them infidels! I don't think that's right because he gave them an ultimatum to convert to Islam or die. Those were the times back then, so crazy.

I ended up playing the piano a little and texting some friends and now I feel lots of energy to go workout again. I checked up on my trades and played a little Magic: the Gathering online with someone. All I really need to do is continue to read the Bible and exercise patience and be hard working. 

Some Changes To Apply With Attitude

Having fun with a sense of purpose.
Trying to continuously press forward.
With consistency and hard work.
Keeping it smart.

What it means to me? Trying to find happiness and fun at my workplace while making money doing this. No surfing the web and watching T.V. for mindless reasons. I will continue to work out because I see that the fitness level is actually increasing my ability to be productive.

Better Focus

I plan a lot of stuff in my head, but what I end up normally doing is just this routine of watching sports games, a few anime episodes, playing Magic: the Gathering, a favorite game, or surfing the Internet for anything to pass by my time. I can sometimes get carried away with playing my piano and working on some songs I've written as well.

I think I really need to will myself to go after some tasks because I'm laying emotional values on them. I need to see things a little more logically and be willing to suffer some out of commitment and then keep a positive outlook. It's pretty tough because I can't really guide myself and get distracted rather easily into allowing myself to be dragged into the same routine that I'm doing.

Better Time Management

I'm getting this worn out feeling of having nothing to do and it's driving my patience wild. To cope with it, I end up doing some familiar activity to keep myself busy. It looks like I'm really bored with playing Bloons TD5 now, so I guess I will be walking away from that now.

What I'm planning to do then is just read up on swing and position trading with all the financial markets and to test out personal strategies that I come up with. I feel a lot more comfortable going this route and think it will be rewarding for me in the long run.

Something To Strive For

This one person I'm acquainted with is a pretty strong female and she's feisty and yet pretty cute for her physique. She's not someone I would say is anime worthy, but for a Hispanic she is pretty typically attractive. I'm actually talking to her all comfortable without any butterflies in my stomach, woo hoo!

I guess it makes sense because she's in the marines. She told me that the guys have to do 20 pull ups!!! I was like what??? I can only do like four right now and maybe five on a good day. Marines must be really lean and strong to be able to have that type of stamina and strength. She said that the female marines have to do 8 pull ups! Oh my, I'm getting my tail whipped by her right now on the pull-up bar. I need to step it up.

I Give Up

I met a really cool person while joining a group, so I guess it would be better for me to stick to it that way, instead of trying to force my way on an online dating site. I think the women on there won't really give me a chance because their initial thoughts will probably be that they have a reason to be intimidated by my strong and funny character!

Okay, I give up and I guess my best foot forward would be to just meet someone in person and then add them on Facebook or get their contact to later harass them with angry texts if they get on my nerve somehow! When I argue from being really mad and in the mood for smoking someone up, I'm actually quite good at it but it feels lonely after because everybody gets like too scared to talk to me after, and I just have this habit of shutting myself off from the world after that type of drama occurs for me.

I think I'll just stick to keeping my angry thoughts to myself instead of sharing them and stress out over how I'm going to stay warm and positive with the people around me. I'm going to be smart and strong over the conflict if it ever arises for me again.

Creative Transition Making

I ended up getting carried away last night and trying to pass this one level on this game called Bloons TD5. Man, I was hooked and it was frustrating me because I couldn't pass it! Okay, enough of that little naughtiness I got myself into. Yesterday, I reverted to my introverted state and played Magic: the Gathering all day long. No surprise there, really!

I played with myself. It was so fun because it was my own decks going up against each other and giving me a hard time at the same time. I was just dueling myself and messing around like that for hours. I then went online and battled some guy for awhile. I think I won the match and that's only a thought that I won.

All right, so I'm going to deny my feelings of playing video games for now. It's like this habit or some type of flavor that I went to dwell myself into. It's just taking up too much time for me, and I can't really afford it from understanding that I have an extroverted personality.

This is where I'm going to have be more creative and motivate myself into doing other healthy activities and keep it going. I'm smart enough to be around good people and to actually have some of them texting me back. The fact that I was able to do this with someone nice for awhile of at least a three month period, it's really calmed my nerves a lot and put in better control of myself and not go off bad-mouthing people with text messages that offend them like crazy! I may be still right because I'm keeping my true colors honest, but I did it while being mad, so in a way, I'm antagonizing them and just making it harder for them to appreciate me.

It doesn't feel right for me to be like that type of person. I would rather keep my cool and dissolve my overwhelming situation by being creative and taking it to the next level of just appropriateness and fun. Yeah, I just want to be level-headed for once and get along with people as friends.

It's like just today I met this pretty attractive girl who stated she had a boyfriend to her other friend. It left me feeling a little sad, but I'm smiling at the same time because oh yeah, I have my interests taking form already with umm someone. It was cool just talking to her and enjoying myself like right at home. I might even see her again if I ever go to her group that she hangs out with. She was open to telling me about it, so I might go check it out. They play right by the beach and it's not that far away from me. Now that I'm acquainted with a girl whose going to be there, hey that makes playing with a group of people a little more fun for me.

Going For The Cool Option

It's just so much cooler to not be an angry guy that gives people a hard time by using humor and beating them silly with my genius-level intellect of taking advantage of people's feelings and throwing off their timing.

When it comes to a more logical approach, I'm going to be blown up by someone who is smarter than me! I hate to admit this, but it's true. Fortunately, I've been blessed that those circumstances I've found myself in isn't really that serious where using just simple logic would get me decimated. I hope I don't sign up for war and end up on the losing side going up against an enemy who will drop a nuke and wipe off everybody on this planet!

Okay, so my personality is pretty charismatic but it's so crazy at times. I don't put enough effort and I'm just doing all of this for fun. This isn't about making a living for myself, otherwise I would be about trying to be the best and spying on other people who are successful and trying to imitate their patterns a little bit too.

I've just settled into what I call my own comfort zone. I'm blessed and actually doing fine these days. I feel this upbeat and positive sense in me a lot. I'm so much more patient and willing to dodge silly arguments that would go nowhere now. When it comes to real serious issues, those are no times for playing games. I will be the best I can be. I'm actually really good at throwing off people when I want to for myself, but what I think I have is that my worst side of me is getting bothered by silly things. I think the devil knows this and so is continually pestering me over it.

I guess it would be boring to kill off a goody two-shoe for a bad guy, but if he could make fun of this guy from putting him through a lot of crazy incidents that he doesn't understand how to fight his way out of, the bad guy will just be laughing and having a good time for the rest of his life, if he could watch all the good parts. Basically, my weakest area is probably the strongest for some people, so with me being continually jaded and feeling testy, it's pretty much trying to live with my best manners in not giving into them while struggling on the inside.

Becoming More Resilient

My closest high school buddy isn't really the brightest guy around. He's given up on chasing after a lot of interests because he finds many of them to be just so hard that it probably wouldn't be logical to keep moving forward with trying to achieve something he has little patience over.

The circumstances and his upbringing is what made him who he is and I can accept that. When I talk to him though, I've been finding out that he assumes a lot to be true without really backing them up substantially. A little hint of an indication, such as a smile or small gesture with how a person talks, is enough to lead him to scary conclusions!

What I've noticed sadly for him is that going with assumptions will only limit someone's personal freedom. It's actually quite enraging for me now that I've seen it happened to me by antagonists who were trying to control my behavior. I gave them a hard time over it of course, while they thought they were doing it for my own good.

It's based off of fear from assuming with how things will end up. Fortunately, my personal incidents with people were never really that serious but it still feels like the devil was trying to get his way with me the whole time through those unwanted clashes. It really ticks me off! Yet, I find that it would be so cool to just talk my about it easily and without having to say too much. This is where knowledge and the art of recognizing the other person's motives come into play.

The reason why it isn't really serious is that even though it may be scary to some people because of what I'm doing is so psychotic to them, the law is explicit and pretty much black and white. They don't know it fully on top of their heads and it's basically fear and how they've assumed to grow up in their lives which is what is making them tick. They are using this set of ideas to control someone in an unethical fashion. It's because they are driven by fear, which they mask as saying they aren't angry or they are just trying to look out for you. It's something that a person like myself who loves giving people freedom to do what they want until trust is broken through a reasonably proven, criminal act has to watch out for.  

Living For What I Want To Be Part Of

Honestly, I still haven't forgotten about how good it really is to have a relationship with Jesus. I'm not talking about some random Mexican here. I'm talking about the chosen one that Americans like to profess if they want to call themselves Christians.

For some time, I felt really sensitive about that literally and would also say Jesus Christ is about this and Jesus Christ loves you. Okay, so I want to stay in fellowship with Jesus because after all these years, I still feel that amazing work that he did for me on the cross. It's a joy and a blessing to be so much under God's love and mercy. It's only through God's work by allowing the Son to shed his blood on the cross that those who believe upon him will find everlasting life.

I honestly didn't even have a clue what everlasting life meant. It's obviously eternal and is it going to be like our very imperfect nature is just going to be expunged and we're going to become like perfectly able robots? Is this really some type of heaven when there's really no more struggles to overcome? The Bible does promise that there will be no more pain and suffering, neither will no one have any hunger nor be thirsty ever again.

I guess the reward really is like this, which is what Paul states in the Bible that it's about running the race - basically, like striving to continuously live for the things of God and to one day arrive in the gates of heaven. It's like the final destination that is filled with eternal exuberance that goes off the charts. I have this living hope in me still.

Going After Desires

I'm still chasing after the six pack abs, which would be so amazingly cool for me! I'm not minding the intense workouts each morning I give myself anymore. I'm also factoring in with motivating myself to eat right as well. I would really like this to happen sooner or later. I'm just being really patient with it and understanding that it's really about a building process.

Because it's what I really have in mind of accomplishing for myself, I'm continually going in to go get it. On the side, I'm also working at becoming a millionaire too. I can see how this little side journey that I'm doing for myself is incredibly unique compared to how the typical winners have achieved it in this world. I'm just different like that in my approach with getting the million dollars through legitimate struggles and great effort.

Overall, I just have to state that it's all been like a building process with the effort that I've put in. Along the way, I've also been enjoying myself with putting up with it. Maybe in the end, it really is my calling to go in this route.

Working Through Challenge and Being Creative

I'm now finding that playing video games just for fun might really be using up all of my valuable time and energy. I mean I could find myself playing with exercise, dancing, singing, and instrumental games, but the ones where you sit down and work through puzzles, seem to be about driving me crazy now!

Yet, I still don't mind giving myself the opportunity to make a video game that others will go crazy over and then esteem it into cult status! It would be fun to just try though and give it my all, even if others out there would end up still hating it.

Regarding my strengths and weaknesses, I really do like to strive in a productive and stress-free environment. If only something like that actually existed, I would be feeling so much freedom in myself.

Something More Fulfilling and Cool

From having worked out consistently over the last two months, I feel awesome and really confident with myself! I'm just more willing to be outgoing and talk to people. I'm like not acting so introverted anymore with beautiful girls who surround me. I'm actually able to have a normal conversation with the typical and slightly privileged woman now.

It's really fun being around pleasantly-minded people who love to be outgoing. I'm finding myself being a part of it too with my own unique sense of style now. There's really no right and wrong and it can be filled with lots of laughs!

Placing Efforts On Clearer Path

From playing a little bit of chess and smart thinking games like FreeCell, I can compete at a decent and average level. I'll give myself that. I'm not extraordinary like some gifted minds on this planet and who actually make a living off of playing games like that!

I just don't really have a calling for it then and stressing myself out with trying to be the best at something because my passion is just too great to contain. In other words, I feel empty if I continue to do it for a long time.

Maybe I could just enjoy those types of games just to socialize with people and not worry about winning or losing. I'm going to outsmart some people and those slightly gifted individuals will end up beating me as well. There's nothing I can do about it.

Improving Self

I'm noticing that with my personality, with the areas I could improve myself on, it includes exercising better situational awareness, self-control, and patience.

By just having those things, I come to basically reason that those are Biblical qualities that God would like everyone to exercise while possessing love for Jesus and others. It's something that I really need to make an effort on and will strive to do.

Something that's been working for me is that I don't really mind being so short, which is something that I let get to me still after all these years. It has affected my self-confidence and willingness to socialize which is actually one of my natural preferences. I just tell myself that I'm at the bare minimum height for being a UFC fighter! It really works for me and when I told that to some people, they just started laughing which I didn't mind at all as well. I am working out and trying to stock my body up on some proper nutrition, so I think that's really helping keep my mindset at an all-time positive as well.

Being able to text someone on a daily basis and just get a response back has also allowed me to have better patience and confidence at getting along with others as well. I'm pretty much grateful that I'd been working on myself and just feeling happy about making some good progress. I don't think I really need to flip out anymore to get what I want with people who I'm just getting tired of being so annoying to me now.

Overall, I've been just having fun and trying to work hard to accomplish my dreams and I'm happy as a result because of that, so I will keep on trying to go with that route.

Goal Setting

I took some notes on proper goal setting, which could more or less be powerful stuff, so I'm going to record it on this blog before I recycle the piece of note paper on my desk for aesthetic purposes!

Goals are driven by internal motivation and what can get us going is having that positive emotion of just "being in the flow." A negative attribute that can keep us from reaching our goals is anxiety.

What goals are supposed to do is activate, direct, and adjust our behaviors. There are mainly seven steps when it comes to setting up goals.

1. Define the goal.
2. Describe where you are at.
3. List what you need.
4. Make a plan for improvement.
5. Pursue regular actions.
6. Commit yourself completely.
7. Continually monitor your progress.

Basically you figure out the how(?) portion, realize your personal values, and maintain motivation.

Things I Could Change

I'm having these cravings for just sitting around and watching T.V. but I know it's going to do me not really any good. From realizing that I'm a people person, I prefer trying to text or call someone on a daily basis. I already got that out of that way, so it's time to get to my goals.

When I get home, I'm finding myself falling asleep while sitting on the couch. I would like to minimize that activity and actually get around to brushing my teeth and doing some stretches to experiment on trying to make myself taller. That's pretty much it.

Along with trying to maintain excellent nutrition and having decent work outs, I see myself getting to my goal of a six pack. It might be several months, but I should have it sooner or later.

Making a Video Game

I'm now at the point of my life where I actually do want to make a video game for fun now. I'm really bored off my wit's end with playing video games, but I think it would be great to make them so others could enjoy them. I don't really know how this contradicts lifestyles, except that maybe I could try making a little living off of it just for fun.

I have been told that it starts out with a design document which I really need to work on. If I can get that working then maybe it will be cool. I also need to start designing the app and programming it to get the gist of the game. I can just later hire some talented people to make it look more better, but by getting the game functionality all smoothed out, I could probably be an asset to a group while also looking to become a better designer myself at the same time. Maybe, I'll just do it for fun instead of trying to take classes. I would rather just be a self-starter and motivate myself to the finish by looking up stuff on the web and keeping it cheap for myself. It sort of makes sense to do it this way, save money, and work on some impressive projects in case I do get an itch to work on bigger projects that other companies have to offer in the future.

Staying Consistent

I guess the only main thing I'm staying consistent with is just working out on a regular basis. Pretty much, my dream job is just trading money on Forex and making a decent living with it. I guess it's a pipe dream at the moment, but it's something that I'm starting to accomplish with a limited amount of success. Well, last month was actually my first winning month!

I did knock off a few goals and added in a few more. I'm just going to keep on trying to live out my goals and see how I like it after. Overall, my main concern at the moment is to get a six pack and become a millionaire!

I don't really see much basis either than that's just how I want to live my life. Apart from that, I just need to keep on moving forward. I really haven't tried my hand at cooking yet, but I do feel like it would be fun to just try it out and see where I can go from it.

Turning Into A Positive Junkie

Ahhh. I'm just exercising my thinking and feeling of some humor! It's actually quite fun to express to my own self on this vast and expanding universe, where the most important people will probably never care to take a look. Wait, if someone else besides me took the time to read this then he or she is important to me! It's a contradiction in itself, so it's just a waste of thought to think that nobody important will ever read this God-forsaken blog site!

I enjoy taking about God and Jesus by the way. I actually like to worship Him in my heart, whenever I can remember what my A-Zs are with the Bible. I talk so different with how I write, so it's just been a force of habit for me to try to incorporate the way I would normally talk into this blog. It's like a good sense of practice.

Hey, this guy I really ticked off, after I said some words to him, it moved him and he came out crying with some tears. He then later tried to toughen up and said, "You think your words are going to change things?" Why even ask that, if it didn't even move him? It was pretty obvious that I can be a little charismatic but won't be effective in leading people because of my lack of self-esteem. It even resonates with my body language and people have been like, "What's up with you? Are you alright?" It really shows and people notice me acting that way, just that most people don't care to pay attention to my cool personality. When they do notice, they don't really say anything.

It's just the way it's been and common folks are trying to just be like everybody else- trying to make a name for themselves and get on with their lives while being in the mood for happiness and comfort! When it gets disrupted, all sorts of crazy fireworks just start igniting all over the place.

Knocking Out A Goal

This goal is pretty funny in that I decided to add in materializing my two Magic: the Gathering decks into physical existence by buying those expensive cards! My MTG buddy has been like waiting for a long time for me to make them because he's really interested in seeing my different styles. I'm really going to get him fired up because he's probably going to enjoy beating me! He sees me as a legitimate challenge to beat, and his decks sometimes really suck.

I'm just a pretty good experienced player and for some reason, I don't really mind giving my buddy support with the knowledge I accumulated. I even look up the information just to help him out and back up what I know. In a way, I'm actually mentoring him which is part of my personality type. 

I'm naturally meant to be good at something and then be a good guy by helping out others who are interested. I have been like the go-to guy with some friends who caught on to this really fun card game. It's mainly just guys who play, but this one guy managed to get his wife to play also. What a lucky man!

I actually had this dream, which might seem really immature, where I played MTG with a girl who I'm friends with while being naked. After having that dream, I feel more comfortable talking to her and just laughing about it to myself without telling her about it. She even pursued me just a little I guess, while looking for a partner but I just laid low. Little did I know, a lot of girls act similar, so by not embracing her, I was hurting my chances. 

Interesting Reflection

Going back and reading my texts makes me laugh sometimes. However, I've noticed that my comments can be really aggressive in that I'm holding nothing back while keeping my political correctness. This really ticks a lot of people off, especially when I'm sending them angry text messages.

In those moments, I can take charge but from feeling guilty because of my lack of self-esteem I guess I let them try to run right through me, but they can only get so far without doing that much harm to me which is still funny in a sense! I now know and understand my pretty rare personality and I haven't been around too many people who actually share my type, but they are pretty noticeable. I'm sure some people also hate them too, especially if those people go on the opposite, and heck, I know a few people who tried to come at me with full force. I still responded back to them in a lazy manner, but it did make me struggle a little inwardly.

Thinking about those past moments with good feelings even though it hurt back then is such an oxymoron, but it's really all the persevering I've had to bear with myself because of my emotional and sensitive personality. I still have a lot of goals and promises to go after.

Personality Types Part II

I was introduced by an acquaintance to a website called 16personalities.com - you basically answer a series of questions with no right or wrong answers and if you are honest with your response, then it tells you what your type is and is spot on.

For my type, I got the ENFJ type which stands for (E)xtravert-(I)ntuitive-(F)eeling-(J)udging. My type is known as the protagonist, so I'm the main character baby yeah! Because I am short, it's been hard to show that I have natural leading capabilities. One thing that did pop out though is that I have noticed a friend asking me to lead the way. 

Oh yeah, before that weird church girl did something to me out of being very heavily frustrated and irritated with me, she let me lead her into going out for some coffee. Weird! Okay, I'm not going that much further to release my story, but it's on this blog somewhere. It's where I'm venting my fury and actually, I come across as pretty smart even though it sounds all childish with me just doing outbursts. 

My personality type is actually brilliant and a people's person. My negative qualities is that I'm pretty much dependent on people and can let them bring my self-esteem to an all-time low. I care just too much even in these small scuffles that happened where it escalated and they can't be my friend anymore. This personality type of mine is so heavy on personal improvement and so when I reflect on the past, I'm about actually improving myself so I can be a better person.

This type is just meant to have a significant other and now that I know, me going all off on some people in the past probably just had to do with me being disappointed and critical about their actions when I put in the effort to be cool with them. My type isn't very good at dealing with situational awareness, but can pick up on the mood rather well.

Like I notice this, when I'm not paying attention, someone says a sentence that everybody else heard except for me and then it led into a whole topic that I really had no idea what that main idea was. Others start laughing and I'm trying to understand so I stand there just smiling and having a good time about having missed that idea. I'm just trying to fit in just like that. 

Personality Types

So this is an interesting thing that I found out about myself, if anyone in this little bubble space of the Internet with harmless data so far and counting because it's been ten years that has me talking about anything that goes on. I guess the people I have dealt with on this Internet site is basically not too bad. I still try to go through lengths to give them some respect, which could be misinterpreted easily, but I understand that I have to change up my tone and let out a little anger in exchange because it gets me relaxed and after that, somehow my charm is still able to kick in with all the experiences I've had and those people end up letting go of whatever they were bothered about.

Anyway, my type is funny to the introverted because as an extrovert that represents only 2% of the population, I can find myself in social settings where I don't let up, but since I'm a funny guy naturally so yeah, that's why my introverted friend laughs at some of the things I say and do.

Here's a funny comment for most guys I came up with. I meet the bare minimum for my height to be a UFC fighter! It gives me a whole heck of a lot of confidence and keeps away the inferiority complex. It's like Wolverine who is described as short and stocky in the comics is my personal inspiration.

Just because of that revelation I confide in, I don't really mind being around and carrying conversations with taller women who are married of course! It's like I don't really mind what they reveal to me about their family and husbands. I just take it like a man and listen.

Leaving Behind a Weird and Funny Past

I guess it was fun to continually visit the past and pain myself over it and to no luck find no solution, so I would just get this built-up anger and push other people's buttons over it by texting them. Anyhow, I've managed to send out a few texts with a person for like two months straight and this nice lady has actually replied back to me, out of all the possible nonsense that I could think of!

It's nice that I built a little personal confidence and patience because she gets busy with working and living life, but man, I feel sort of lucky that she still takes a few minutes to write a sentence or two with me. It doesn't matter what she replied back to me with- anything, basically answering a silly question because I want her to say anything with me!

She seemed pretty open as well to meeting up, which is cool. Okay, so I seem to be comfortable with females because I'm like around them practically every week at least. My mom is still the worst to deal with at times and has her useless parenting moments with me. It's in and out through one ear, and if my mother understood English, she would definitely kill me for writing this about her.

Positive Mindset

I think what's important is to just keep the mind going strong! I'm just talking a little random, but trying to funny with myself. This is after all my small blog that has accumulated only 30,000 views in ten years with this vast and ever-expanding universe that you call the Internet. With billions of people on here, yeah that's pretty small amount!

Heck, it's all free though, so what do I have to lose except be in trouble if I upset the wrong people. So why do I still write like a dumb maniac sometimes and leave behind my track? I'm a pretty idealistic person and whether it's my flaw or not, it's actually my personality.

Starting Fresh

I guess that now the past is over and I'm lucky in that most of the stuff that happened was pretty much going through my head, I can turn the page and get to where I desire to be. First and foremost, I would like to make God first in my life. Secondly, everything else will just follow.

It's a constant struggle to be good, but I'm doing the best I can. I guess from being healthy and getting my hair back which was thinning out, I can just keep my options open. It's largely a cool thing that I have a guy friends. I have a few female friends that I try to keep in touch with. It's pretty tough just to be in the friend zone with them for me, so I might as well just settle with chasing after the girl I want to be with. If that girl doesn't like me, then I might as well look for another girl and so on. If this girl just wants to be friends, then great, I'll try to do everything with her. If I'm attracted to this girl and I'm doing something with her, then hey, it's a win-win situation because she would still like me as a friend. Other than that, I'm just going to try not to annoy her so much with nonsense nor even creep her out. I'm just going to try to play it cool and see where it goes from there. If this girl ends up being the one to marry, then alright, praise the Lord!

Pretty Simple Goals

There's really not that much for a routine in myself. I guess from having God and some good experiences in my relationships with others, I'm feeling a lot more well-grounded these days.

Other than just trying to get in really good shape, become a great rock climber, play some great music while singing with a piano and guitar, and become an independent and self-made millionaire, there's really not much going for me. Oh yeah, I also don't want to forget to mention that I completely adore Jesus for everything that he's done for me.

I'm going to just try to continue to read the Bible and stay pure to God's ways as it was intended from reading the Word and just be grateful for all of these wonderful developments and slight changes that are gradually happening for me.

Pretty Fortunate

I think of the Lord's goodness, my upbringing isn't really something where I take a lot of pleasure from taking advantage of others or doing something extremely amoral. I really enjoy being a moral person, and I sort of have my dad to thank for that.

The way I see it now is that it's really a lot about hard work and just continuing to move forward and maybe, someday, your day will come. Things don't always seem so fair and now after all that I've been through, I really think continuing to play video games and watching television for entertainment is just depressing.

It's probably better to hang out with somebody, work out, or even do a fun hobby like singing and playing the piano. I'm not going to make it such a big deal anymore with this whole being lonely or depressed thing. The mind is a terrible thing to waste and trying to be an upbeat person is really hard work in general for me!

Becoming More Mature

I realize that all of my past problems with people have mainly just been me not being able to control my anger and then letting things escalate. It's pretty much just that simple with the relationships I had in the past.

Because of the escalation, it pretty much caused a rift with those people. I am now aware of it and honestly, I wouldn't want a happy marriage to end up crashing because of this flaw of mine. I'm just going to do the best I can to not let it get to me now. This is pretty much all I can be now and in the future, I'm just not going to act that way anymore and just be pretty mellow about those situations.

Daily Bible Journal

Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." (NKJV) 

1 Cor 10:31 says, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." (KJV)

1 Col 3:17 says, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed; do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." (KJV)

To me, Prov. 16:3 is mentioning that God will guide us if we dedicate to living all for Him. 

Phil. 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (KJV)

God is basically love as mentioned in 1 John 4:8. It's basically enjoyable and pleasant to have a sound mind and peaceful attitude that goes on in the heart. Being away from all the turmoil with the daily stresses and to be at ease. These kind of stuff just happen to believers when they are truly obedient to serving the Lord. It's a joy and blessing to serve God, I mean. To have this loving mind and willpower like Jesus, it's something that the Holy Spirit likes to provide!

Prov 16:6 says, "In mercy and truth atonement is provided for iniquity; and by the fear of the Lord one departs from evil." (NKJV)

Psalm 145:8 says, "The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy."(KJV) The NIV mentions in this verse that God is rich in love. 

Prov 16:6 means to me that coming to know God and then establishing fellowship with Him through how we live, our minds and hearts just gradually transform and get away from sinning constantly. It's from having that love of God in you that you are able to carry yourself and move forward with your spiritual calling.

Prov 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." (NKJV)

For Prov 16:24, this verse is a little personal for me in that I have some experience in writing really nasty messages to people. It really bugs them a lot, and I can't say that I haven't been the recipient of them either. I think just trying to sound nice isn't really going to cut it with angry people. It also requires wisdom with handling the conflict, and from trying to get those people to calm down while knowing nothing and acting nice, it was really frustrating for me! This area is a work in progress for me and sometimes it's going to be inevitable with being crossed by others and also me crossing them.

Gal 6:7 says, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (KJV)

Basically, I reaped what I sowed from being mad and breathing irritating fire that turned some people crazy with me. It was so bad that it isn't even repairable. I would like to be more prudent and under more self-control next time around. What's helping me to establish better social skills is having a friendly and ongoing relationship with a woman I am attracted to. I guess settling down is about meeting someone you are attracted to and then seeing if you can get along with that person. 

Prov 16:25 says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." (NKJV)

To me, Prov. 16:25 is saying from experience that by trying to do things on my own, I've experienced so much heartache with failure to go along with it. I have some things that I regret doing, like inadvertently making an art history teacher think that I'm a racist during my presentation. This memory still gets me like a bad flashback to this day. You definitely reap what you sow and I wish I could change some things, but it can't be helped. What's shaped me though is that I want to move forward in the right direction with the Lord's guidance. 

How I'm Studying the Bible

I'm just following a daily Bible reading plan on my iPhone. When I don't understand a verse, I have started to just look up some traditional commentaries just to get a better feel for the verse. I can't say it's completely accurate, but it really does set the mood for wanting to be spiritual though. I have found biblehub.com which has commentaries to read from if you select a verse. With differing views, it's been a great introduction to examine a few perspectives from Biblical scholars when I really had no idea what it meant.

I have been skipping out on praying to God before reading the Bible. It feels like a ritual to me, if I were to do that. I think of reading the Word as something that is just a daily and normal part of me. I don't really think much about it. I don't have any disdain for the Word, neither do I feel intimidated about reading something that could pertain to me in a bad way.

I guess now that I mentioned it, the Bible does mention to pray without ceasing. Okay, I coaxed my heart into saying just a quick one haha! In the Christian way, every prayer ends with in the name of Jesus and Amen because that's where believers are hoping it gets to.

Daily Bible Journal

Proverbs 13:4, says "The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich." (NKJV)

I found this verse to be very encouraging and truthful in that in order to make progress and be able to feast on good times during the harvest, the work needs to be done in planting the seeds and watering the fields in the hot summer days. I'm talking in a literary sense again.

Work isn't always going to be easy and motivating to get into, but it sure does help to get into a calling and feel relaxed about it on most days.

Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."(NKJV)

On what authority do I have to write about the Bible? I don't have any credentials or some seminary experience. I'm just a layman with a personal faith in Jesus.

Anyway with Proverbs 15:1, I see how it relates to the things I said to people when they were trying to cross me. They became mad and paranoid with me! I'm not talking about the details in full anymore, out of trying to be respectful for them.

Proverbs 15:8 says, "A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention." (NKJV)

Going to Proverbs 15:8, I am a knowledgeable person about the things I communicate with people. When people cross me, I want to blow up and it's a normal reaction that has turned into a personally recognizable pattern. Out of respect for being a servant of God and building His kingdom, I feel like I have a sense of duty to hold back my words, when things get too out of hand.

Basically, I just need to keep doing what I have been doing and just discerning the situation and being wise about the experience I have been gaining all this time.

Proverbs 15:28 says, "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil." (NKJV)

This reminds me of a funny situation I recall not too long ago. A friend who was supervising me asked me what was up about this co-worker I had a problem with. I told him honestly I didn't feel good about him. My friend who wanted us to get along said "Wrong answer" and ended up disciplining me on his shift as a joke. From Proverbs 15:28, it looks like it's education in presenting ourselves properly with a problematic individual and a lot of hard work to resolve irritating issues that keep prolonging itself while being amicable and peaceful about it.

Proverbs 15:33 says "The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility." (NKJV)

Studying the Word of God is where I can get my knowledge of how to live righteously and be in good standing with others while living prosperously and enjoying a good life with friends and family and possibly good Christian wife with kids in the future.

Living In Better Pursuit

I guess I have so many things that I would like to accomplish in one day and just letting time fly by and succumbing to dust covering up my schedule in a literary sense, it isn't promoting a personal happy tale. I just need to be a personal go-getter and try it out. As a matter of fact, from working out in a consistent pattern, I'm just used to giving myself a hard time and not really intimidated with expecting that I'm going to have a huge workload for awhile.

I did mention in one of my posts earlier that I have about 24 things that I want to accomplish in one day. It's a nice number, and I just realized the number is just a coincidence with representing the number of hours in a day. When I get home at around 11 pm, I'm going to try to finish up one of my goals. I'm not feeling really deterred by how hard it is for me to accomplish something or how much hardships I had to go through.

Basically, in a nutshell, I'm going to turn off the lights with television and testing my Magic: the Gathering decks. The things they are getting replaced with is exercise and trying to make a little investment money on the side.

Becoming More Normal

I'm starting to think more normal and feeling happier these days. I still get a little jittery about having to wait on things, but it's only been increasing my patience and helping me to be at better self-control with myself. I'm not really paying attention like a hawk anymore on things because I'm just trying to go with the flow on auto-pilot. I see that is what I have been trying to do all along.

I am doing my job that pays me, while imagining about the happy things that goes along in my life. However, it feels crazy to continue doing this for me. It just doesn't make sense to want to focus out of the job and find something to entertain yourself with. That's just keeping things unfair in a way while considering moral factors.

Yet, it's normal for people to daydream while just standing there in the middle of a convenience store and waiting for people to appear in the line. I think it really comes down to willpower with learning how to compartmentalize thoughts and to channel the right amount of focus to get the job done in a satisfactory way.

Cleaner Focus

Okay, so one of my goals is to bring out two more magic decks that I have already designed. I still haven't got around to doing that yet. It looks like just now, I'm not really in the mood for typing anything on this blog. I feel really satisfied from having blogged for at least ten years now.

Wow that's a really long time considering how I managed a little bit of consistency by trying to make 365 posts a year to represent each day, including the leap year! That really is something and it shouldn't even be too much of a shocker that I am one of the most, active bloggers on blogger.com. I just don't really get that much comments from these, and I have still been trying to push it along talking about loving Jesus and following the Bible wholeheartedly. I'm still trying man! 

Making Minor Changes

I guess I can limit the amount of TV I watch and the time I put into for testing my Magic: the Gathering decks and use those times for accomplishing one of my daily goals that I have in mind of trying out.

This would probably give me about two hours in the day which could be useful. It's entertaining to laugh at Tom and Jerry cartoons, but it would be a little better to work just a tad harder for a better tomorrow!

Working Out

Well the good thing is that I have been regularly keeping up with working out and going to the gym and trying to keep my body in shape. It's actually quite fun and enjoyable for me. It's about eating right 80% of the time and working out 20% of the time. I can actually dig that and continue to pursue managing a healthy body and eventually getting some six pack abs.

My dad told me that by getting some ripped abs, I will be losing a crowd of women who don't want to marry me. It's because those women will be terrified of me, like they wouldn't want to be in an argument with me. I can actually live with that.

Nice Moments

Some days I feel on the low from not achieving a certain goal I had in mind, but on other days I'm feeling great about myself like right now. Yeah, most of the time, I do feel nice and energetic. I guess my worst enemy is really just myself. It's like I need to let my height not get to me. I'm starting to smile a lot more though and not be really shy about being around taller people. I guess it's easier for me to be more outgoing.

People can be like oh, that short guy when they talk about me, which makes me feel like laughing now that I think about it. I'm not exempt from people seeing me as a psychopath though if I did something because I sort of have a stocky build according to some weaklings who are out there. It's funny in a sense that people would be afraid of me and lose their patience with me and try to just kick me out of their life while pursuing after any negative judgement they could pursue with me. It's unethical of course because they are just irritated like crazy while they are doing it and now I see that it's wrong.

Been Staying Busy

I guess there are a lot of stuff I could do to just keep myself busy. I do feel a little cheesy about watching like one or two hours of television, which feels like a lot to me now so I guess I really don't. I am going out to the gym a lot more consistently though. I am really enjoying the extra energy I'm getting from working out and getting some vital nutrients in my system. I mean my body feels great! I can even go off of less sleep more efficiently now if I had to.

One thing that really gets me to drop everything is watching anime sometimes. I guess I'm such a nerdy fan, but then again I'm just psyched out and have my eyes glued on the tube from looking at all the beautiful artwork and animation and just getting immersed into the world. I've read on Google Images that the best female anime characters don't exist in real life for guys!