Sunday, April 3, 2022

Time Management Implementations

Okay, so what's on my mind right now is trying to make tons of money in the fastest and safest way possible. I really want to move on up in life now, but my roots are still in not forgetting where I was and giving back if I can while being inspired. 

I think the source of my main happiness really comes from worshipping Jesus in my heart. The Lord found me when I was down and broken, so now with all of this knowledge to help puff me up, I'm thinking that the result is a stronger and better version of me while still following after Jesus. What Jesus represents to me is salvation and joy over not being condemned for my past and ongoing sins. 

The thing that I now face is my mind daydreaming and wandering off with a lack of self-discipline and always experiencing a minor but fun mind lapse. In my childhood, I used to not be able to do this and be more along the lines of suffering underneath while doing my best to concentrate. Just from focusing on trying to push myself to concentrate, I would miss out on getting any schoolwork done to begin with and then I would lose some patience and go off trying to find something fun to play with on my computer. The routine became pretty lame after a certain point, so now I'm starting to see what I really have to work with. 

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Mastering Effective Time Management

I think a lot of it now is pretty much having a clean slate that's going on in your head and willing your mind to focus on mainly the good stuff! It's pretty much focusing and committing yourself to doing what's right for you even when you're not feeling well physically or mentally. This is a very difficult thing to achieve but once you get past a ton of obstacles, then it feels much more natural! 

It's just worth grinding over with figuring out how to do it properly. I'm just starting to get better at it but what's probably getting me is how I'm letting my mind wander off too much. This is what I should be working on and finding a good balance for myself because I think it's fun wandering off over silly and funny things sometimes. 

Friday, April 1, 2022

Starting to Make Sense

I have a strong opinion that's formed based on my past experiences with people like Crazy Lee and a Chinese American guy named Washington. They were a bunch of weird wackos who were fussing about a petty situation they felt paranoid about! I was trying to be agreeable with them but Washington went around gaslighting others with his insecurity. At least he thought it to be true but he was a total jerk about it. His past relationship fell apart and he's probably never going to be around anymore ever. I'm glad I made peace with him a while ago, but that fool put a restraining order on me that was dismissed and I didn't even show up for the hearing from laughing about it while under pain of losing a friend, of course! 

It was crazy dealing with a man who was acting like a scared and spiteful little woman! Let bygones be bye bye gones. I wish I had the courage to tell everyone to go see a therapist back then. It was like total taboo for me to bring up and my manly personality was going to reject it and still does but I'm making do from being my own confident and mindful shriek! I'm saving myself tons of money reading books and doing inspired research like an Asian going bargain shopping.  

From these experiences, they suck and hurt but without accepting them, there's no way of understanding what's required with obtaining your true happiness. A friend claims I'm just dwelling on negativity; however, I see all of this as positive while playing out possible scenarios freely in my head. I have absolute personal freedom and a sense of nobility that I could embrace to legitimately feel like I'm better than anyone in the world! Yeah, let's go get that money, beach body, and cute girlfriend. 

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Better Time Management

I think what isn't working is me just going home and relaxing while watching shows after dinner. It's just not satisfying enough for me. 

I'm going to analyze a buddy who has trouble finding a girlfriend. He has said that he enjoys being single to avoid all the headaches that girls can give him. He still goes around looking for dates and has had a few first dates that never went anymore. 

I think the main reason why he's unsuccessful with women is because he isn't attractive to begin with and doesn't make the right improvements that are necessary. Another friend and his evil twin who sort of have average good looks have some mental problems that affect their attitude and ability to initiate and maintain a long-term relationship. 

I've finally managed to overcome those obstacles, along with maintaining a decent happy balance to now be able to raise a family better than my parents did with me. First off, I'm not that shallow anymore and have been looking more for a high quality connection along with some common interests we can enjoy together. I'm very cool about settling as just friends because I can't really get tired of making new female friends who turn out to be amazing! I'm able to separate those selfish romantic desires that are going to be inappropriate and even not give into them when there's a window of opportunity after figuring out the big picture. I want a strong relationship that isn't just composed of physical attraction because I don't even need a girl to look a certain way for me to be in any romantic mood. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Reaching Wealth and Glory by Myself

Since I'm a little short, I have figured out finally that I'm going to have a little harder time finding women to date. I don't really mind because I think of my height as filtering out shallow women already. In a natural sense, young women do start out as pretty shallow about height when it comes to dating. It can be looked at from the angle of natural selection. 

The majority of men who have girlfriends or wives in the world are taller than me! This qualifies me to be a short man. I accept how women are dating and marrying these taller men more than short guys and don't want to run away from it! It's sort of a numbers game as well and just how women must feel instinctually before falling in love since it's been already theorized that dating a tall enough man might make them feel more feminine and secure while being happy based on height alone!

A Bible verse states that man will judge upon looks while God always cares about what's going on in the heart! (! Samuel 16:7).  

There are also fewer women out there who don't care about height that much. I think these women are the ones who would be worth dating more even if I was tall to begin with, so since I'm short already it sort of gives me a better opportunity to ask women out and land someone who isn't so shallow or concerned about their man's height. Landing this type of woman with the right compatible personality will be like striking it better than earning all the gold in the world for me. 

To make preparations for this, I've learned to not be so shallow myself over women's appearances. 

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

What I Want to Do

It looks like I am very confident in myself now that I'm a bona fide sane individual! While still dwelling on the subject, the stupid people I dealt with were absolute imbeciles with paranoid thoughts and couldn't think straight. No wonder they haven't been able to influence and be totally successful people that mostly everyone can look up to. They were the ones trying to do me more harm by telling me what to do and focusing on something else that was wrong. This is just what I want to believe and argue about while being happy to release it by just talking about it whenever I'm in the mood. 

It becomes a lot easier to be agreeable when you are humbled by a better individual and who accepts for what he is. You have to try to always look at the big picture and think about what it is that you desire and work for it.

Something that I've gained personally is becoming comfortable about always working hard while not wearing myself out. It's a great personal commodity to have. From struggling to deal with stuff, there's something in the form of being a gigantic, ecstatic satisfaction to experience underneath when you reach the finish line after seeing the light in a dark tunnel and making it to the end. 

Monday, March 28, 2022

Going into Little Detail

I basically want to experience freedom in all five categories. They are time, money, relationships, physical, and spiritual. This is what it truly means to me in being an enlightened millionaire. I have become just another student in this way of life. I totally identify with it. 

I want to start reading like a bookworm and expand on my knowledge by doing software engineering and business development. I want to try growing taller naturally by trying out controversial things that don't harm the body at all! It's just time and money that could feel like a waste but at least the things I've been researching promote being more healthy and thinking kinder about yourself. It's one thing that is truly great to always do even if there are plenty of lame brains out there who disagree and want to be lazy and set in their own ways. 

The people at that old church have some mental problems. I now see it and don't mind confronting them about it because it deals with me personally. At the same time, I believe that I can find better people than them, so I don't mind debating while attacking their personal character and trying to force them to change for the better. At the same time, I'm going to be accepting of how they just are and let them know about it while saying that I know I can be better than them and find better people at the same time. I'm already ready to move on, but the only condition is that the church no longer exists at that same location and they moved to another address. This is why I'm taking my time to get to them. I have made a cool promise with God before getting around to deal with them. Becoming a millionaire with six-pack abs. I don't care how long it takes but once I reach it, I'll be ready for a wild ride.

Some people have mental issues and can't handle the length of time it takes. I don't care because I'm better than these people. 

Sunday, March 27, 2022

What I'm Aiming For

It looks like I'm not really living up to my full potential in my free time. I really want to blame it all on my parents for being the selfish and rotten kid that I want to feel like at the moment. Honestly, I think they truly sucked at parenting and I can do better than them if it ever happens to me.

I accept all of this now with happiness and no regret in my thinking. I'm normally shorter than people who others might think of as being short in general. Being a guy, people in general are going to be judgemental about my height when it comes to the dating world with plenty of insecure ladies who want to be swept up in that happy fairy tale relationship. It's just the way it is and I was given a short end of the stick. I'm totally fine with it, since I've learned to be happy with where I'm at. 

I think I can still do better than all of those ladies combined in this world, along with my few good female friends. I really think I can obtain something great in a relationship and better than most people. I think I can do better in general than a lot of people. These friends were never good enough for me anyway when it came to dating.  

It's just going to take me a long time and this is probably what a lot of people will have some trouble dealing with. I even had a hard time myself while doing it all solo. What really changed my mentality around is just accepting the facts with positivity and putting in the focus whenever I can do it to get better. 

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Main Things to Work on

I'm realizing that I feel these weird romantic feelings for a close friend. She's not really my type, and being physically attracted to her has already passed. What's weird is that I wasn't really that into her when I met her and hung out with her out of the blue. I was more into her outgoing personality and considered a serious relationship down the road. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of her as just a friend. I think I can find someone better than her. These instinctual feelings of wanting to kiss her are weird and something I will never give a thought about committing to ever.

If I fall in love with a good woman now, I want it to be because it's really all about just her and the timing was right. My other close buddy is just too weird for me to even want to analyze her love life. I think she's still cool to hang out with, but she isn't that mentally stable. I do like how she manages to stay humble and has a therapist. With some of the things she likes to talk about, I feel comfortable opening up with her about my life completely. This is probably why she's my true buddy and it's like she's been the only one I can talk to and have great conversations with about life. 

Friday, March 25, 2022

Real Things

I have been curious to explore more about my physical attraction with women. I'm not going to lie in that I find busty and slim women to look incredibly hot. I don't know if they are in good health though, like they could be fragile. I also don't know if they are crazy or insecure about the people they want to date. 

Despite the attraction, it's just like eye candy to me and there's really no relationship so it doesn't make sense for me personally to pursue after them out of just that feeling. I don't need to be selfish and have them always make me feel happy like they are some sort of trophy to collect! They are still people who have an appearance that I like in a shallow manner. I don't even know if this is a good thing for me, considering how they could have bad people obsessed about them. 

I'm in good mental health now and almost at an all time high. I'm not interested in looks anymore and would like to marry someone who has the personality I'm definitely pleased with. My other close friend who has the qualities I look for in a partner isn't really all that great of a person to always be around. She whines too much about her personal insecurities, but remains a good person for me to just hang out with. I think I can be with someone better than her too!  

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Accepting Reason for Grinding

Being with a beautiful woman is probably not going to last forever. Her beauty is going to fade over time. What's more important is that I want to be happy being with the person all the days and still be fully attracted and in love. The outer appearance doesn't seem to be important to me anymore. If anyone wants to go around saying offensive things about me being short behind my back or in person to me then it's a joke and they are being stupid. I don't really care and they should go see a therapist if they want to keep on bothering and are upset by something. 

Anyway since there are more taller people out there than me, I'm more unique as a guy. I think I'm a hidden catch underneath from being grounded on having a great personality and self-improvement on everything pertaining to me while not being so shallow and insecure anymore. 

The main thing for grinding is to make a living and invest my earnings to go on promoting a better life for myself. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Staying Focused on Being Balanced

I'm really thinking to myself that being with an absolutely stunning woman might not be all that it's cut it to be. Having both looks and personality isn't really that important to me anymore. I'll stick with her personality. I just don't want to be so selfish, insecure, and shallow anymore because I wasn't born to be tall. I think everything about me is okay, except that I might have stunted my average growth from having a mental illness during my puberty. This may be a concern, but I did lead myself to fully recover. I blame my parents for having had to deal with it!  

Stressing out about something shallow like that isn't going to help with good mental stability anyway. I've learned to accept it and just smile when I'm around taller people and they will be the majority. I'm not really taking the negativity so seriously anymore and something I find myself having to struggle a little bit sometimes. Maybe some people don't really struggle with this insecurity at all, which is how I want to eventually become. It's not really worth wasting my precious energy focusing on it for shallow reasons. I want to focus on what God has in store for me and to work on natural things to stay balanced. I'm still pretty curious though if I can get taller just for fun and I have done exercises in my mid twenties to permanently grow half an inch taller and also one of my cousins in high school did the same to end up being a tall Asian in my family but average American height. 

My parents want to blame me for not getting married, but I'm going to just blame them more instead now and accept my crazy and controlling parents. I'm going to just open up more to them. I really need to move out of their place and the reason why I haven't been able to do it any sooner is because I want to save up enough money to own a decent property that I can handle without stressing too much over the bills. If they can't stand me and kick me out, then I'll deal with it and have a bigger reason to succeed faster. 

I haven't also focused enough like I am doing now to make the money. I'm now into doing it more seriously than ever. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Making a Solid Attempt

It's starting to make sense with my time management. I think it's more complete but I'm going to be humble about it and be open to improvement. My personal mantra is self-confidence, positivity, and hard work. 

I've added a powerful amendment to the mantra which will probably help me conquer my issues on time management. It's to focus on the things that are most important to you. This originates from the idea that 15% of the things you decide to do will be responsible for 85% of your results. 

It's starting to make sense with this whole relying on the Holy Spirit business even though I'm still far from perfect. I'm glad Jesus is always working in my life as I'm starting to become receptive to my full Bible audio app. 

Monday, March 21, 2022

Being Happy While Grinding

There's this feeling of negativity that comes up from not having someone to date yet. I believe that I will find her someday and even if it never happens, I'm still going to be happy with myself. This is the resolve that I found in me, so I am able to smile and be brave about manning up about my concern of being sad. I've just come to accept it and be happy wherever I am at and to just let out what needs to be said pertaining to me when it feels unreasonable. 

For the time being with the female peers I'm hanging out with, they are truly my buddies. When it comes to thinking about dating them, I believe I can date someone better than them. I'm not worried about bringing it up when it's appropriate or something they say referencing dating makes me feel belittled and ticks me off! It's because I'm pretty laid back and realize that we get along so well together as friends that I'm continuing to hang out with them and have this deep platonic relationship with them. I can't see them like sisters either because I'm too sensitive about it and already have a little sister. 

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Adding onto Self-improvement

I don't really feel let down anymore to negative criticism. I mean why wouldn't it make one feel testy over it. I do it to others as well and have done it without knowing what I was doing. It's basically setting yourself up to live and die by the sword emotionally if you care about having a relationship with them. In a sense, this is what it means to grow as a person and picking up on the most effective techniques to realize your dreams with them.

I feel like I've conquered a lot lately and am capable of keeping this positive momentum building. I would really like to do something that affects others positively and something they see for themselves that they can do as well while being aware of the things they need to work on and can't really blame me for. 

Saturday, March 19, 2022

Working Towards Preferred Strategies

I'm starting to eyeball a convenient strategy where I care about doing a set and go method while holding on as long as possible. In a highly volatile market, this could mean fast return rates while not stressing out as much and committing so much time while staring at a screen and gambling on mixed emotions. 

I'm growing totally accustomed to this method and trying to minimize my risks while increasing my monthly rate of profit. I have been looking at the weekly, daily, and 4-hour charts with the 4-hour being my point of entry and exit. It feels exciting to finally make a possible connection with how any market is performing based on my indicators. 

Friday, March 18, 2022

Raising Money on the Side

I've found out that I want to become rich through investing and trading as fast as possible. I want to do this while also being safe and not trying to gamble. I want low risk and high reward scenarios without having to put in that much effort. To get there, I've bought into an investing group that mentors me with free essays on tips of improving and a lifetime subscription of stock recommendations with backed research that I can trust. 

I'm testing out new techniques while being open to continuing to improve my craft. It's only a matter of time before it all comes together for me. My net worth is gradually growing profitably though. It's pretty much about the art of compounding that has to go into effect. However, this isn't recommended in the crypto world because of its highly volatile and speculative nature. I plan to manage my assets properly once I grow my personal portfolio to $100,000. This isn't counting my current 401K which is only half of my target. It could ideally be in a few years, but I want this to happen sooner rather than later. I'm not going to get so irrational about all this anymore. I'm getting used to this waiting game anyway and trying to take initiatives. 

It also looks like I've taken up speed reading as a hobby. As long as I get inspired and get something out of it, I can slow down and review it whenever there's something I want to work on. I think I'm also going to add in taking my time with getting my own customized Master's degree as a software engineer. It's just going to be grinding on something, since I don't expect my trading and investing sessions to be that long if I need something that I can enjoy working on to keep myself occupied. I also need to find myself a good girlfriend now, too. 

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Show Must Go On

For myself, I'm now realizing happiness while accepting the situation I'm in. I'm willing to work on the things that are most important to me and let the chips eventually fall into place, even if it never happens. I have the healthy mindset that I've always wanted now. 

It's just a matter of time before I figure it out with becoming a rich person and start living the full life that I've envisioned for myself with all this free time. The Lord is my Shepherd and strength in times of uncertainty and lacking anything. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

What I Wrote to the Woman Who Messaged Me About if God has Put Marriage on My Heart

You said if God has put it on my heart with getting married, then I should focus on it. Yes, it's confirmed He has. At first, I had some insecurities and was also shallow about my future wife having to appear a certain way but in the Lord's eyes, all of that doesn't matter to Him. 

Unlike how several people are in this world with being shallow, insecure, or in between, none of that exists in the Lord's heart. He loves us for who He truly made us to be for Him! Jesus is our shield of refuge and sanctuary when the Enemy attacks us with lies and persecution. 

With you having to add me on Facebook, I don't really care about forcing you to stick a finger in rat poop. I'm visualizing how you feel about guiding your mouse and then clicking on the screen that says "Accept"! 

I'm saving it for the head honcho Lee who is the ringleader of the troubles she started while she was in the flesh. It's so sickening to me, like she was being a scornful Cannanite. I'll be working my way down from the top of that chain-of-command so someone can take Crazy Lee's place if Crazy Lee isn't able to from having moved on. My location is just that church. It could very well be no longer in existence which would be cool like they moved on to a different address! I'm not going to be in pursuit, since I learned to be mainly happy in myself and also in the Lord as well from time to time no matter what happens to me. I'm a lucky guy underneath to always feel this positive energy from having worked for it.

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

What I Wrote to Crazy Lee

You basically went along with Chris Kuch by saying that I was overshadowing others and causing people to leave. Well, Chris left and you guys didn't leave at the same time with me around so you guys were already contradicting yourselves. You said that you had authority over me. You had to go through the trouble of putting a restraining order on me, so no you don't have it. Also the restraining order got off, so it shows that your ideas are like a ripped off joke. 

This is what I want from you and if you don't, I'm going to find a substitute person. I figured out what I want to be satisfied with. By the time I reach my goal, I promised God that I was going to do it someday and this is just because I'm going to still be happy even if I never reach it. I'm going to come visit and be all about conducting business while I remind others how bad you already look. I'm not going to be playing around so nicely, so it might not be a good idea to confront me or else I'm going to end up making that person look like a fool too. The less of a hassle you guys make it for me, the easier it is for me but I don't mind because I'm still going to have fun regardless but it's going to be you guys having a harder time with me. 

I'm only targeting one person and it's the head honcho. Congratulations, you made the top of my list. I'm going to be working my way down and still be happy if you aren't available to be targeted. I only need one unlike you being selfish and saying you wanted three. Three months and I gave you two-in-a-half. It shows how immature you were to begin with at not understanding my subtle protest. I thought you were an understanding woman with your psychology degree, but I guess not and just some crazy person with a stupid agenda that's about to get exposed. Luckily, I know I can make you look really bad but it's probably not going to have serious consequences. It's just you or someone else who is going to have a hard time. 

I want you to add me on any social media or I'll even exchange numbers with you and make sure it's confirmed before moving on. You are going to find out how I will really leave you alone then, so all your stupid and paranoid thoughts about me will just be on you for the rest of your life until you forget about it. 

Also, it's possible you will be like whatever or ignore this email. Be like that if you want to because I'll be coming around someday. I will let you know that I sent this email to you already and laugh while keeping a copy of this so I can resend for you to read it. Your support which I took liberty to put and they are everybody you should be associated with and possibly considered your side more in the beginning on that list is not likely to be of any help to you. You guys are the lost cause in this situation. MU HU HA HA HA HA!  

P.S. I'm truly glad you guys lost in the end. It was meant to be and you guys did it to yourselves. Go see a therapist if you are still too troubled by it. 

Monday, March 14, 2022

Getting Subtle Hints

I'm honestly convinced that a former coworker liked me in a cute way. She was down to earth and very polite, but has the ethnicity that's scorned by the older generation of my race. I don't really care about it, but I was still uncomfortable about trying to date her because I felt like I didn't have the financial means yet to stand up to my dad who is the boss and a superficial purist when it comes to preserving the bloodline. 

I feel like my hands are tied down and that I have to obey him even if I don't believe it. I'm mad from being afraid that I'm going to have a hard time financially and don't really want to put that on myself. I'm sorry to write this, but she just wasn't worth it enough for me yet. 

I did ask to hang out with her before she moved on to a better job, but she declined. I was interested in being friends with her, but I know that she was uncomfortable with it. Another buddy of mine who is pretty weird but was regularly pursued by guys when she was hotter a few years ago likes to reply by smiling and then saying that it's her loss!

The thing though is that if I work really smart enough then maybe I'll be able to get rich quicker and have the means to live an enlightened millionaire's life. 

I wouldn't have to put up with my parent's negativity because I'm totally against compensating for all of those superficial and/or insecure concerns. I've learned to look on the inside of a woman and primarily appreciate it more in regards to the ideal partner I'm looking for. However, it doesn't hurt that getting in that physical mood is still working and will stay consistent. 

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Finding Better Balance

I honestly want to make a lot of passive income so I can just go ahead and have the freedom to enjoy my life and work on whatever with the five types of personal freedom. To summarize briefly, you can achieve freedom in time, money, relationships, spirituality, and physicality. With the natural drive and attempt to form a profitable plan, it's given me a nice purpose to look forward to everyday. 

I'm certainly not that lucky and talented enough to be recognized at the very top right now. Maybe I had a chance academically while growing up but I wasn't looking to find any mentors since I started out as very sensitive to others from wanting to be a people pleaser. I was pretty much frightened of people acting out in any mean behavior with me. This ended up happening to me so I was practically forced to face my worst fear in dealing with some people I knew including my parents. I get it with how some acquaintances became mean towards me over something that wasn't supposed to be that important to begin with and acted impulsively. For example, I'm pointing at Crazy Lee! 

The good thing is that I have become better equipped to handle those circumstances. It started with just choosing to be myself and then being blunt with all my silly and dumb antagonists! It hasn't got me in any trouble with the law so far because I always want to do my best to align with the ways of the Holy Bible since my personal faith in Jesus is going to remain forever.  

Practically, to close all of this out, I have concluded that this enjoyable pastime is about working to achieve personal success and happiness while conducting business in just people interactions as the currency with the Lord as my Shepherd! 

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Ready to Make Some Money

My style of trading is still swing trading and for investing, I'm becoming more of the traditional buy and hold type of person. Besides trying to consistently gun for holding onto every small profit gained with day trading, I think it's better to make the effort to relax and average it out to a nice profit in the long term. This is about staying in the system and going for affording a better lifestyle for myself. 

Some friends don't seem to get it as well as they should, but I do know someone who seems to be doing great with daytrading. I'm just not comfortable enough with that type of style. I want freedom of my time to enjoy a relationship with my significant other and travel while working on cool projects or volunteering to benefit this world!  

Friday, March 11, 2022

Making Positive Strives

I'm starting to notice how I can feed off of motivating myself to do even better from being salty related to how I think others view me. I'm not a huge fan of feeling looked down upon for dating, and I get this from being called like a brother or from hearing some shallow or insecure remarks.. 

As a result, I feel like just pushing harder since I have the confidence I need now. I honestly feel like I have at least average human genes. I think I just have something to prove and would like to find out. It's just taking me longer to get there because it took me a while to get a grip of myself. It's definitely dealing with self-discipline and personal happiness with some good feelings about fulfillment and morality. 

Thursday, March 10, 2022

Staying Inspired

I honestly want to do my best to work hard at all times, since I enjoy making money consistently while doing something that just interests me. I feel fortunate that I finally got to this position, but it's not all bells and whistles. There are times where you just have to grind, and I guess it does help with putting in all that work and coming up with something that's genius or to improve upon it. 

I guess it's just plowing through to get to a personal goal while staying constantly happy with myself no matter what happens. This is pretty much how I try to always live my life. I'm grateful for my faith in Jesus! 

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Investigating Personal Thoughts

I feel like I'm back to being on fire while feeling really secure with myself. My confidence level is really high. These days I've learned that regardless of whatever happens, it's okay to always make the most of it by thinking positively. It's probably fueled automatically from my belief in Jesus dying on the cross for me though.

A saying goes that all the ill in us comes from a source of fear and all the good comes from love. It seems like when I'm mad sometimes, it's because I want the person to also do well. Maybe it's something being done out of love or it could be that I'm afraid of being let down and don't want it to happen again. It could be a mixture of both, which would still qualify as being bad anyway.  

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Message I Sent to Crummy Peers

"I want just one social media connection from you. It doesn't matter how active you are on it. This is just to symbolically tell me you are at peace with me. Otherwise, you can't. You sided with [Crazy] Lee and I don't care even if I did some wrong but turns out I didn't. Yippee! I did nothing and won."

I even sent this to Crazy Lee herself and changed the word Lee to yourself. I feel sad for them to the point now that I recommend they should go see a therapist! They actually are forced to read it since it's a social media platform that allows for a potential connection. Also, my profile there is awesome and eye-catching. They can't even reject me and I feel like they see themselves dealing with purgatory. It's still on pending after all this time!

Monday, March 7, 2022

Focusing on Most Important Things

I'm starting to want to be on time for work on a regular basis. I'm going to have to wake up a little more early to have enough time to do what I've set myself to doing every morning. I honestly want to become better.

Looks like Crazy Lee is going to be taking all the wrap now for causing me some temporary distress over nonsense with the past church group from a long time ago. I think she was acting more like a troll with me, but I don't think it was her intention. It's a done deal now and I can comfortably attend another weird small church if it ever gets there. I don't really see eye to eye with the old church now that I think about it, so I'm meaning to tell them that I want to walk away from them in peace while staying friendly to them in the real world if we ever get assigned to work together on something important. 

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Reaching Goal Faster

From the interesting book I've been reading, I agree with how reaching success at a quicker pace requires focusing on the top 15% of the most important objectives to reach 85% of the way. This is pretty much getting it done most of the way. 

The next step is to find mentors and then finally, create a dream team to help carry you to the next level. 

I'm finding out that my mentors will help me out from reading their books or attending one of their masterclasses. My dream team will come from third parties or a few lucky people I decide to hire.  

Saturday, March 5, 2022

Personal Understanding of Profitable Swing Trade Strategy

My idea for entering a swing trade involves three things: 1) buy low or sell high whenever there's enough expected volatility, 2) trade in the direction of established main trend, and 3) set an appropriate stop loss to a local support or resistance level.

I pretty much have those three things going now while checking three time frames at once. 

I am currently exiting with a loss or profit whenever the minimum time frame window I'm on projects that a new trend is oncoming. So far I'm turning a profit and it has been pretty minimal work. 

I see that in the long run the wins will outweigh the losses 

Friday, March 4, 2022

Being Happy With Things You Can't Get

Not being able to achieve things the way you intended is obviously going to make a lot of selfish people angry. They should all go see a therapist.

I've learned something valuable in that I can learn to be happy even if things don't go in my favor anymore. I'm willing to keep on working hard for something and even if I never achieve the goal I had in mind, I'll still be happy with myself and move on to other things as required. 

What caused a lot of personal drawbacks was from lacking self-confidence while seeing myself as a low-level shorty. I was still able to grind it out while being able to be a little better than normal but my heart never felt at ease. I finally managed to jump over this hurdle. 

Another one is really being indoctrinated with such negative and discriminating views from my parents. They immigrated to this country and have done well enough to be upper-middle so I really place the blame on them for not making them happy with me. They just kept on working and never really spent much time teaching me the ropes in a positive and loving manner. I really had to fend for myself while coping with being sensitive. 

If good fortune happens to me now and I do land up with a good wife and kids someday, then I'm going to dedicate myself to doing a better job than what my parents did. Basically, the advice I have to give anyone that caused an internal ruckus for me and still feel antagonistic towards me over anything is to go see a therapist. 

Thursday, March 3, 2022

Getting Ready to Move On

Looks like my coworker who I had a crush on for mainly the right reasons like her super sweet personality and politeness is moving on now from this job. She found something better. I ended up asking her to just hang out when it's her last week here after work and she said that she might get too busy. I don't know if this is her way of saying that she's not interested. It's pretty hard to tell because she's very polite.

I just want to ask her if she's already taken now. I think by doing this it just makes me naturally want to respect her more, regardless of the outcome. Moving forward, I do want to be hangout buddies with her at least so that's why I asked her out. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Prioritizing With Grinding

I think I need to start getting better with grinding it out and spending time on more of the things that I want to succeed at. Even if I never reach any of my high standard goals, I think I will stay happy with myself.

With a friend who I walked out on, he basically accepts his depression and then acts in a very annoying and childish manner in pursuing the things that he wants while being afraid that the world is out to get him. He usually ends up falling apart and can't stay consistent with making a living in a permanent manner. He's a narcissist and also lonely while probably having grown up as an autistic child. He doesn't feel that he needs to work on himself very drastically to improve because he wants to hold on to dear life his own pride and a variety of security blankets that he grew up with. This guy is destined to stay a failure for the rest of his life. At least he still has family members and a few friends who accept him while they are alive. This guy is really annoying to me in general, but I'm also forcing myself to put up with him in the future.  

I think there are people out there who will never get it and choose to accept it like that while not working on themselves. Some emotions and bombardments of stressful memories are hard to self-regulate and maybe therapy might help but it's just connecting with an inspirational and fully honest source that can help change your life around. As a result, I see myself constantly progressing and getting more content with myself. This reminds me that I should buy a present for a friend who I think is always a little out of it, but is a married woman with a child. I'm so glad that I'm not really into dating her. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Finding Good Ground

I'm starting to understand that I need to prioritize my personal time better with doing the things I want to catch up on for a better life later. I can't really afford to enjoy what the rich people get to do in their leisurely time. I have work to do and goals to reach. What I'm learning now is that even if I never reach the success level that I'm hoping for, I'm still going to be happy with myself for the rest of my life. 

I want to focus on building wealth through making more money and working out. I would really like to keep building upon those areas while I do what I can with maintaining my important personal relationships. 

This practically means that I won't really be able to watch the postseason for baseball, since I'm writing this in October of last year. This is pretty funny in that this post is already backed up by several months and I'm already reserving posts for the end of January this year.    

Monday, February 28, 2022

Pulling It Together

I think I was unconsciously doing things that I normally would be doing much to the chagrin of others who I rightfully can blame for being upset at them. Obviously, they just want to run away from all of that negativity that they don't know how to address. It's only human nature to suck at dealing with those things, no matter how much of a pro you think you are at it sometimes. 

Walking away and in my case, people running away from me with the conflict I'm dramatically inflicting upon them after finally picking up on where all the nonsense was left off from a long time ago is sometimes the only option. 

I've worked on picking up a lot of details intuitively from just scanning the unforgettable memory while in my natural creative state of mind. I have an ability that a lot of people can envy easily. I can identify what's wrong with me and what I need to do about it to make it better and then make myself stay happy again even if what I needed never transpires. This sounds normal obviously, but the second detail might cause all the ruckus in that I'm a go-getter and not afraid to go for the glory and sometimes, I do reach it. This is probably what will make some people jealous of me, hands down! I totally understand their loser mentality now and hope they can turn it around. 

Some people who claim to be a good religious individual are holding onto a grudge with me that doesn't have anything to do with us. I think this happened because I was trying to talk to them about it and had my view that I wanted to press on them and they didn't want to have anything to do with it. They picked the side to go against me but that side is turning out to be absolute nonsense in my situation. I have the proof I need. It's all about Crazy Lee here. She was trying to control me with her personal views on psychology and said that I was being excommunicated when she filed a restraining order against me. She failed to keep the restraining order on me and I literally did nothing to get it there. It was just something that's super annoying and ticks me off with a bunch of stupid and young individuals who thought they could impart their two cents while yelling at the top of their lungs with me. I wasn't budging at all in their direction so they just became really terrified of me. 

I don't really care and just want them to let it go fully and be at peace with me while showing it symbolically by accepting me as a friend on any social media platform. It can even be their least active one they hardly ever go on; I don't really care. I don't need to see their posts and they can even modify their settings if they want to. I think they could go see a therapist about this because the way they acted wasn't how a happy individual would normally conduct themselves. I at least didn't act out and land myself in prison which I had a great chance of doing from getting a restraining order which is what ticked me off so greatly because I felt it was for a very stupid reason from Crazy Lee herself over her wacky religious ideas and paranoid views. 

Sunday, February 27, 2022

Finding a Good Mate

I do have at least a soulmate friend and I do think we can be ideal lovers. It's just that I don't think she would be that great of a person to partner up with. She already has a lot of baggage with several ex-partners and a couple broken marriages. She's still pretty shallow and insecure about some things with herself after all this time. She wasn't even honest with me about her relationship status with the person she was currently dating. These things just add up to dismissing my soulmate for a serious relationship forever. The good inner-qualities and interests she possesses are what makes her my soulmate along with how we can see each other daily and be good company to each other one-on-one. Because of a deal breaker, I just can't be with her. 

She's still my soul friend though so our platonic relationship is always going to stay good. To appease my soul right now before going around to hang out with this special woman again, I need to get a wonderful girlfriend I see myself staying happily married to for a whole lifetime. I want to do this for mutually assured happiness with the lady I get to be lucky to partner up with and to also show up my soul buddy! 

I'm just looking for a nice girl who is compatible with me and isn't that shallow or insecure or in between about the thought of dating me. It's really that simple for me now. I'm not really judging by looks anymore. I don't really care about physical attraction too much either. It's always going to come and go. 

Overall, I'm actually conflicted because of my overbearing parents. It's really all of their fault but if it ends up happening to me, then I'm going to do a better job than them. 

Saturday, February 26, 2022

Keeping It Up Better

I think the best way for me will be to build up good habits that I want to perform one at a time, instead of overwhelming myself with a whole bunch at once. It would be nice, but I just don't seem to have the energy and willpower to do that all the time. I will just go for the small things first, but these can add up to being a lot too. 

I'll just brush my teeth twice and use mouthwash if it's available before going to sleep. This practically means whenever I feel sleepy after eating then I should get up and do this to take a small break before continuing whatever it was that I feel so fixated on doing. I think that's all I really need to push myself to do because it's the most important of all the little things I have. I'll set myself up for doing that first and then add on to the other small things that I feel like completing. Once this becomes a good habit, then it's on to the next. 

Friday, February 25, 2022

Solidifying Trading Strategy

I pretty much have a swing trading method going that encompasses the 4HR, Daily, and Weekly charts. I don't really like to keep my eyes glued on the charts and have been working on a personal trading system where I only need to check the Daily once a day. This appears to be my cup of tea, since I'm usually longing for some action but don't want it to be too much or else it will start worrying me. 

So far, I've been combining a trifecta system with trend following filters, price lines that I can determine to be a stop loss level, and a major trend channel that is subject to always change based on market conditions. I have been mainly doing this with the Forex market for so long, and now I'm also testing this system on the crypto world. 

I'm turning a profit this month from following a personal algorithmic system on the indicators that has no emotional bias. It's still being subject to always change based on analyzing my winning and losing trades. It's been about just fitting a story together that makes it comfortable enough to pull the trigger. I do still have a few losses from going into these trades, so I'm trying to minimize mistakes and just deal with only inevitable losses based on following this trend trading and swing trading system verbatim that's still in the works. 

Thursday, February 24, 2022

Investing Well

I think the art of investing is pretty much managing risk in a way that if one stock is performing badly then it's not going to hurt the overall portfolio. All it takes is for the majority of them to be doing well with an overall, balanced exposure to the market. 

From reading a book on becoming a millionaire, it describes that you need mentors and a team. I think my team is pretty much the one I hired from subscribing to their investment journals. The mentors are the leaders who do the research and stay on top of these things for a living. It's because they want to make a living off of it for whatever good purpose they have. I don't ever talk to them but their work already does all the teaching or coaching I need to grow as a better investor. I'm sold on all of their offered services as a lifelong devoted fan and student! 

In a sense, reading up on all of their paid information I can get my hands on and free bonuses has made it possible for me to be better off than a few friends who started investing without really knowing what they were doing. They have already faced common struggles and are discouraged to save more, while I have maintained profit. It makes sense in that I have fast tracked myself to wealth for a reasonable cost that I can afford. 

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Making Sense Out of Mental Health

It's come to my personal attention that my mind is stable and with how I feel happy for the most part. I'm already happy with just pursuing my goals even if I never reach them. 

I like how it's just a process of staying focused while being relaxed and taking things in easily with the brain's neurons firing away bits and pieces of reinforcing information to your collective consciousness. It's something that I think you have to experience yourself, and it's something I'm working on.

What I notice with driving home, it ends up for a trip that's usually no more than about a total of 90 minutes commute. I want to let my mind usually be in a rowdy and playful state. By taking a deep breath and accepting how I want to be a better listener and comprehender while feeling like this is all easy, I'm actually practicing by listening to the intractable Bible on audio daily! Furthermore, if I can get anything off of it, then it also contributes to my spiritual growth dealing with my brought up beliefs.   

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Topic of Dating

I honestly would like to find myself a great partner and get married to her while enjoying so much romance and physical intimacy that never dies while doing fun things with her all the time like traveling and outdoor activities. She's going to be my most important relationship and something I want to invest a lot of my time and energy on. 

I really don't care about appearances that much and okay with her being physically normal even if she stands a few inches taller. I just need to find a very nice girl who isn't that shallow or insecure or somewhere in between. This is going to be challenging for me, but I don't think it's impossible since I don't mind this being a lifelong search. 

With me going after seeking riches and a lot more free time, once I have them then I think it's going to only get easier with making myself look even more physically healthy and having a positive otherworldly spiritual connection that just influences others to bring out their better selves. This is really exciting for me since I know how I want to do it.

I want to do it through not spending that much time making money. I'm going the investment and swing trading route with flexible and leveraged financial markets. I have my trusted guides to support me already as well, but on the cusp of developing my personal touch which will take me to greater heights.  

Monday, February 21, 2022

Taking on Better Understanding

I think yesterday was good in that I kept it simple with what I wanted to accomplish. It didn't take me that long to finish it and I was pretty satisfied that I stuck with it because there were only two major things with one not taking that long. To take up my evening, I think I only need to focus on one or two important things while the rest being little things for personal maintenance or amusement.  

I don't think I can handle too much of the little things because it will just be too overwhelming for me. I do value friendships a lot and also enjoy my personal time in the same way. Eventually, I'm looking forward to settling down after finding a good woman to date. 

There are practically five forms of freedom. It's based on money, time, relationships, spiritual, and physical. By being wealthy with money and time, it allows room to have optimal focus with whatever you want to do and grow in the other three. 

I'm pretty much a person who can be lovestruck over a woman with a great personality. It's probably something she developed over the right circumstances and can even be influenced by others. I don't really care too much about appearances anymore. It's practically too shallow for me to stay entrenched on. I'm not even insecure about dating taller ladies now or slightly shorter ones wearing high heels to look taller than me. I found my own strong footing and can carry my own weight confidently in this world. I really don't need to be a physical beast when I can just use my creativity and experience with preparation to best any opponents who are up to no good. 

Using my rule of threes, it's about having a good face, good body, and great personality. The other one is self-confidence, positivity, and hard work. Mainly it's good to visualize what you are doing while being purposeful with your job so you do well at it. 

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Accepting You Can't Do Everything in One Setting

I have so many things that I would like to do in one day. It's cool to stay occupied while looking for things to do and to contribute some value to this world, even if nobody cares. It's really about feeling good after all, and I think being a small guy who nobody cares to pay attention to and does a little meaningful work to make this world a better place is cool! Maybe sometimes people are just going through stuff that makes them talk and/or act like jerks. Maybe it's really them having this mentality of a stubborn attitude, but for me, I'm lucky enough to feel that I can still work around it to push the envelope for myself. 

Timing is everything and it looks like I need to start waking up a half hour earlier to get my day's scheduled tasks synchronized better. 

Saturday, February 19, 2022

Moving Along Effortlessly

To keep things natural, I think there's just this little desired effort that needs to be put forth with maintaining focus on a goal that you wish to fulfill. It's like blocking out all these other insecurities or exciting thoughts for the time being to take in information. It's a practice that I haven't found myself doing for a long time. I do listen for a little bit and then I'll check out to think about other things which turned into a negative habit that doesn't put forth the desired result! 

I just need to not think about other things while focusing on anything. No matter how boring it is or whatever insecure or fun thought that's coming upon me, I need to just block it out momentarily to focus on something that has of greater value to me. In other words, I need to grind in a way that feels like it's effortless and is taking me somewhere. 

Friday, February 18, 2022

Learning to Read More Pleasurably

It took me a while but I used to be an insecure imperfectionist. I was constantly under stress with wanting to push myself to be a goody two shoe at everything, so I would constantly wear myself out and be in so much worry about not being good enough.

I don't know how this type of mentality came about, but I think it's because nobody convinced me that it was okay to not be perfect and that you don't have to be the best at everything and kill yourself over it. With every failure that I faced, my negativity level would just keep on rising to the point that I felt like ditching education. Boy, I could have used some therapy sessions but I didn't even know this was what I needed. The fact that I finally figured it out is pretty cool.

I know another guy who has a lame head and stays depressed while accepting that state of mind. He's an insecure and lonely narcissist who really can't do enough to get to where he wants to be in life. This type of mentality is something people shouldn't really tolerate for themselves in the long term. It's physically draining and will only hinder climbing over any figurative speed bumps. This guy should really go see a therapist. 

Getting back to reading, it's pretty simple with what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to read as fast as I can, so I try to fully eliminate subconscious pronunciation and concentrate on taking in the meaning. It does flow more naturally than before. 

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Understanding Personal Soulmate Territory

Contrary to what others may like to normally imagine, I have a pretty reasonable soulmate but it's just that I don't really want to be with her. I was just there for her as a friend because she needed someone and from just spending time with her and getting to know her, I didn't fall in love with her but just realized she's my soulmate type!

She calls me her soulmate friend and a person who has a lot of qualities she looks for in a partner but can't see me as her lover because she's either shallow, insecure, or in between both of them. I'm thinking whatever now because I'll just go dating a girl who isn't like that and is really nice and better than her! Since she has a new boyfriend now, I'm on break with her until I find myself this girlfriend so I can  go on living happily like I'm always in some party mode and then rub it in with my soulmate type friend. 

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

The Art of Getting Started and Putting in Best Effort for a Good Purpose

The idea that I'm placing forward now is coming from the title. It's a very long title so I guess it's also self explanatory for me. 

It just takes one step which is just willing yourself to do something even if it feels like a stressful or odd job task sometimes. You just have to keep on doing things sometimes even if it feels like it's not syncing that well with your rhythm. 

This is something that I just need to execute on a daily basis. I need to avoid doing something else when I should be doing something I really had my mind on doing no matter how uncomfortable it feels sometimes. I just need to man up and put in the effort to stay positive, confident, and hard working to the best of my ability. 

I really do want to be successful in the long run and enjoy life after all this hard work is done. It also feels good to pursue a hard and worthy goal. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Applying Better Discipline

I think I just need to get myself started on a goal and just suck it up with the grinding process. With whatever I'm looking for, it's starting to blend really well for my mental health. I'm more patient than ever but I still have trouble staying concentrated over periods where I would like to but I keep on having thoughts over something that feels more worthwhile distracting me. 

I don't really want to be overly stressed out and it's like I want to monitor my mind and body without burning it out. I like to think about bothersome things while looking for an edge to solve it. I'm also very stubborn about doing things on my own because that's just how I like to operate. 

My attitude and mental health are in its rightful place while I'm still sensitive over a lot of small things. I think I just need to keep on reminding myself of the big picture with reasons that bridge things together while striving to improve myself.

Monday, February 14, 2022

Lining Things Up for the Future

I do have an ideal type and have settled on a close friend who I can label as my soulmate. She possesses a lot of the good qualities I look for in a partner. She believes likewise with me also; however, I decided to tell her by text only that I'm cool with us dating others. What's also unique is that our personalities lineup so well that we are able to have serious discussions or debates about anything while never blowing up at each other through texting. I tried doing this with another female friend and it didn't work out, so we have to discuss it over the phone occasionally! It's probably because we haven't spent that much time with each other over our busy lives that we just don't know how to anticipate each other's thoughts. With my soulmate and she's mainly just a soul friend now, we've been around each other so long that we naturally conduct ourselves with the right mannerisms that mutually make us happy. 

To be very happy, I just need to start dating a nice quality woman who happens to be interested in me also. I would like her to be just a hair better than my soulmate. I don't think it will be that hard to look for the right stuff since I'm not weighing in physical attraction anymore.  

I do think a coworker could potentially be just a hair better than my soulmate. It's hard to tell if she's really interested in me, but her body language and mannerisms with me seem to convey some interest. Whether she's being professional or just courteous because that's how she wants to be, I do know that I'm really attracted to this type of personality. It doesn't matter how she looks on any given day like whether she forgot to put on her makeup, gained a little weight, or her face broke out. I don't care about those superficial things that much. I will care though and call it a deal breaker before we get married if she starts acting too lazy and keeps on getting fatter! 

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Understanding Investment Risk

I'm starting to understand how to invest right now to get to where my goal is. It's pretty much managing risk and there's really no right or wrong way; it's probably more about going with what you are comfortable with.

There are quite a few ballsy people out there who put all their money into something like Bitcoin and then ride out the volatile waves for long periods of time. It's quite uncomfortable especially if you find yourself going through a patch where you really could use the money for anything! 

I prefer a more balanced or holistic approach with managing my money. For starters, it's great to have three times the monthly budget for emergencies and then save as much as possible for investing. I've done so well at it naturally the past year during the pandemic that now I believe I have enough to go for a nice run of making myself rich! I found the right source of investing philosophy that matches with how I want to live. 

Patience is definitely a virtue, but it's also smart to take calculated risks. It's really about finding out what works best for you. I'm ready to live a pretty chill life as a wealthy enough person who can enlighten others to be millionaires also and keep on making improvements to this world. 

Saturday, February 12, 2022

Finding Happy Resolve

I tend to be very confrontational to the point of wanting to push the envelope with wanting dumb people who were crazy with me to improve. There are many options I have like chewing them out and then continuously looking for different ways of chewing them out! It's a sick, dad joke. 

I've gained a lot of personal confidence over the years, so it's probably unwise to start something with me that's going to make my blood boil. At the same time, I do care about being a good person at the individual level, no matter how mad I feel. I understand that I can not be in the mood with the strong angry and negative emotions setting an undertone for me. I can feel it, so I have to monitor it sometimes or even take a break from another person if it feels too overwhelming. Overall though, I still care about maintaining good relationships no matter how angry I was the night before. It's my own unique personality which might feel like a curse but is probably really a blessing from God to keep myself a sensible person in this world. 

The worst option for me so far is walking away from someone to take a break for a while. I've done it to my oldest high school best friend and also my soulmate! I'm still not going to refuse them if they need me in case of any emergency. They probably wouldn't ever imagine calling me though. 

Friday, February 11, 2022

Staying Genuinely Calm and Happy Under Stressful Situations

I personally think it just takes a lot of mindful effort and pushing yourself just a tad. It doesn't hurt though to rely on the strength that comes from God's Word if you believe in it. 

Seriously, putting my faith to rely on Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit has been truly uplifting and really meaningful for me. I'm not going to be the type who tries to force it upon non-believers. I shall never support a sect of extremist Islam that has practiced beheading people they call infidels for refusing to convert during wartime! It's disturbing that this type of jihadism still exists in the modern world. It's just totally cruel and inhumane treatment. Where's the love and respect for others even if they choose to stay different?

What I've noticed today is that the former church group who called themselves my caregroup really went to another level of crazy with me in their pseudo-Christianity. They were trying to represent Godhead figures who couldn't even stand me enough to keep around as a Facebook friend while I went around complaining to them in person about it. They took something that had nothing to do with them and made it personal with me. 

This is fine and all but there's only one difference to how I conduct myself when doing this to others. I like to keep a good relationship. They didn't and set up failure by driving me out. I think they could seriously see a therapist now that I think about it. 

I'm looking forward to the present and new day, which is just being Facebook friends or something similar. For me, it symbolizes very strongly being on okay terms and something I'm willing to work for. I'm not even asking them out on any date or forcing them to be with me intimately. It's gross thinking about it to be honest. They can go for a restraining order over wanting to not add me back on Facebook instead of negotiating for something more comfortable to them. It really shows the type of people they are. People with a weird grudge over something that never dealt with them in the first place. They deserve to be laughing stocks and embarrassing black sheep in their families. 

I don't mind the world knowing about what they did and talking about how they screwed up. They thought they were a perfect representation of God, but it turns out they were just whiny and bent out of shape impatient people who should check in with a mental therapist! I was only struggling with confidence issues, but managed to solve the majority of my personal emotional problems. If they can't shape up, then they have a long way to go in reality and I'm willing to do my part to make myself happy in this world. 

Thursday, February 10, 2022

Recognizing Something New that Feels Good

I've recognized recently that what also helps to keep me mentally grounded while staying on top of being confident, positive, and hard working is to also feel this surge of adrenaline rush to keep pushing forward adroitly with something that requires physical effort. It's really about consistency, and I'm not playing any competitive sport for a living so I don't need to worry about going all out during certain situations to affect a better outcome for the team. 

It's something that was just brought to my own attention while working out and made my long run seem easier for advancing into faster finish times. With everything kept constant, this feeling probably does belong to positivity. I also have faith in Christ which I can't really pinpoint into any label. 

Wednesday, February 9, 2022

New Form of Time Management

I have mainly two things that keep me from doing proper time management. The first is something I need to always work on: it's putting things off from doing something else and also having a tendency to forget until a day goes by which feels like it was too late sometimes. The second thing is something I need to accept better, which is falling asleep out of exhaustion. 

I see the best thing is to just go in order of importance and continue committing to them while doing the best I can to be timely on everything I do. While I'm working on something, if I get tired in the evening then I think it's time for me to do some self-hygiene and get ready to pass out for the next day while trying to push myself to stay awake longer to pursue my personally demanding schedule. 

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

News in Dealing with My Soulmate

With my soulmate, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to ever be in a serious relationship with her. She is my ideal mate for sure and we are so right for each other, but I think it's safe to say that she struck out blindly with me. I'm now ready to get a girlfriend and think she can easily be just a hair better than my soulmate. I won't have any problems at all with being devoted to my new girlfriend and then maintaining a happy marriage.

I think my soulmate is still a great person and an awesome friend while I do feel she's amazing, but it's just not going to work out at the romantic level, even though we are ideal for each other. Here are my three reasons: first, she's been in a couple failed marriages already and been disillusioned repetitively about being in love; I see this as unnecessary baggage while she isn't getting any less cranky as the days pass by either! I've managed to stay consistent on her good side which she considers rare and also enjoys my company on a 24-7 similar basis.  

Secondly, she's either shallow, insecure, or both about dating short guys in general. I don't know how she blocked out issues with dating while hanging out when it was just us two, but I was a little insecure about her wearing high heels when we just hung out together too. I don't think I mind anymore or getting used to the idea of dating taller women since the coworker I like might be standing a tad taller than me or vice versa. She even went as far as to state herself she thinks guys can be too short for her to date around my other short pal and me! I take offense to that because I'm short too! 

Lastly, she said she was going to move very slowly with the person she was dating. They were smooching each other after the next couple times we hung out. She also didn't mind making me feel like a third wheel. Okay, this has been too annoying for me to handle! She doesn't get it too well, but I tried calling her out on it nicely and made an agreement to take a break with each other.

Three strikes and my soulmate is no longer a love interest. She's still my soul friend and I'll always care about her but in terms of being ideal lovers, it's just head knowledge for life! I think I can easily find someone who is just a hair better since I'm now the kind of guy who cares all about personality and compatibility and not physical attraction. I just don't want her to be too fat and lazy which is my physical turnoff. I have a type too and I can model it after my soulmate. It's never been easier to pursue a girl who is my type and might easily exceed my needs by only a little which will keep me so happy and in love. It's enough to stay satisfied for the rest of my life and willing to work at maintaining a strong marriage without feeling much effort. 

Monday, February 7, 2022

Working on Focusing

It first comes down to understanding the results and being satisfied with them or not. If you're not, then you need to identify the issues that are blocking you from getting to the happy result. The next plan is to figure out what needs to be done to fix the issue, which might be doing the opposite. The last thing is to put a three step action plan into it. 

In other words, proper habits will bring about proper results. It's crystal clear and the only way to reach success is to work on eliminating enough bad habits that block you from reaching it. 

I'm not fully happy with my results yesterday because I didn't manage to finish my day by doing self-hygiene. This needs to be fixed.

I recognize that my sleepiness still overtakes me and then I'm pretty much done for the night. I'm going to need a better time to complete doing the extra things I'm interested in doing. I'm going to need to first update my To-Do List. 

Sunday, February 6, 2022

Dedicating to Learning Something

I think it's good to read up something in general for self learning so I'm going to make this a little thing to do each night. I'll just put in like an hour or less to start off, but do a little bit of it so it feels good by seeking after something new or challenging.

For some reason, I am still distracting myself over less serious issues that have already been satisfactorily solved. It's starting to add up and make a lot of sense with how things are just happening for me. I'm pretty good at adapting over challenging circumstances but it's starting to be more meaningful because I have an actual purpose that makes sense and makes me feel happy from just pursuing it. 

My routine is still pretty challenging and it looks like I'm a natural procrastinator with wanting to always stay entertained by doing something less challenging and trivial like watching movies. Too much of it doesn't feel good for me at all and makes my conscience feel so guilty. I think it's just a matter of commitment and staying consistent with it while thinking positive and feeling confident. I think this is what hard work for me is all about, which is the last stage of my personal mantra, "Self-confidence, positivity, and hard work." 

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Working on Self

I'm now on a matchmaking site which is what my parents ended up signing me up and paying for. I'm getting pretty close to an old age and still haven't married. It makes sense for young people to think that I'm really old. I'm pretty secure about it and ready to settle down now. 

To think in terms of practicality, I already have a soulmate but she isn't perfect with a lot of baggage. My dad argued that she isn't, but I told him that even with her faults, I still think she's amazing and will always be so right for each other. This really makes my dad uncomfortable, so I think he has caught on to how I want to make a lot of money and then live my happy life without needing to carry on a relationship with my dad because I didn't fulfill his selfish desire with me. 

In the end though, this is how it should be because my parents wanted to be so meddlesome with telling me to always do what they think is right. I have become too disillusioned that I now don't need their approval for anything. 

Friday, February 4, 2022

Spending Time Wisely

Currently, I really do want to get rich and find myself a good girlfriend now. This is pretty much my main goal. The waiting process is challenging and on my way to getting to this point, I've learned that what's helped me the most is my personal mantra, "Self-confidence, positivity, and hard work." Still, my faith is in Christ and that's never going anywhere which I can "confidently" say for the rest of my life and based on my faith, eternally!

Another thing that really works is picking up on facts that help reinforce your belief system with something positive over anything that has brought you down for a while. For example, I'm short but I have convincing arguments which make me believe that I have the average American height gene. I have large feet and broad shoulder length which match the average height of American males. 

Overall, I think combining self-confidence, positivity, and hard work with enough faith and positive beliefs based on facts is enough to be secure in any negative circumstance. 

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Figured Out What to Do

Yesterday, I was really stuck with what I wanted to do and figured out that I won't really be hurting anymore if I never get with my soulmate. It's only head knowledge that we are so right for each other. She has too much baggage even though she will always be an amazing person to me. I think I can easily find another lady who I can be a bit happier being with, so this would mean she's better than my soulmate. Already thinking about it, for example with dating a coworker I really like, I can sense a possibility already that this could be the case for me.

Everything is starting to come together for me, and it's pretty awesome to be honest. With my own free time, I want to continue working on building this personal wealth ASAP while researching on reaching my goals, working at it, and focusing on fitness and well-being.  

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Building Wealth ASAP

For myself, I don't really want all my eggs in one basket and then ride it out because that will get too uncomfortable. The number one rule that I look to follow is to never invest with money you can't afford to lose. A few people I know will just put too much into one thing from believing in it so much and then only to experience a longer duration of a bear market which can be mentally draining and quite taxing on them if they really need that money for something. 

I do experience normal growth so far in my wealth and it's only going to be a matter of time before I start seeing some consistency. I believe it's going to happen soon and I'm always on the verge of getting there. My hope hasn't unwavered and I'm not hurting from risking only a few hundred dollars a month every once in a while to work on gathering up investments.

I have my own routine for doing things lately and it's a decent rate but it's going to be long term. I just want to conveniently work on something that will be quite easy and have a higher rate of return a lot of the time. I'm not giving up at all. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Focusing on Routine

It's pretty simple with what I'm looking for. I just need to hunker down and put in effort with moving myself into action with my routine. I'm still pretty slow at forming habits because it takes me a while, and I do have so many things that I want to consider doing while having time for only so many things.  I do have my priorities set forth on my current good friends, along with reaching my main goals which I'm still working on.

It's really a work in progress with everything, but I'm realizing that I need to put in a little more effort while I'm sleepy and to also keep myself in motion with finishing what I need to do for the day. 

Monday, January 31, 2022

Understanding My Dating Pattern

Out of necessity, I've learned to be blunt with others and it's helped me to open up about myself and improve better as a person. I'm so big on gaining self-improvement and personal realizations. 

Man, I should have been a lot nicer to girls in the past and try out the whole dating process to begin with. I didn't even have a grip of myself yet, but now I do and figure that proper communication and self-control are really the key points. I've become quite decent at standing firm and arguing with valid points about my personal beliefs. For example, I truly believe that I am a man with genes who has the average American height even though I came out to be short. I have large feet and broad shoulders for my short height which would match the average American man's height. Men in general who have large feet and wide shoulders are known to have at least regular height. 

This is actually positive for me and I know that a lot of ladies want to date a taller man out of some insecurity. This is why I'm pointing it out! 

For all the good guys out there who are short, I want to make it a lifelong purpose to maintain a great intimate relationship with a beautiful lady. This is payback for all the shallow and/or insecure ladies who never wanted to give any short man a chance and date a tall man instead who ended up not treating her right. They had an opportunity but ended up losing it with me, including my soulmate! I know we are so right for each other, but she has too much baggage and it's only head knowledge to me with her being my ideal mate. 

My soulmate will always be amazing to me regardless of whatever her faults are, but I've made the decision to never pursue her because I think it's going to be easy finding someone better than her by just a hair. This is a unique personal idea because it's sensible to believe the majority will never guess this has any possibility and be closed-minded about it. 

My plan is to just go for it with women who have the right personality, project themselves to be compatible, and have some common interests. Looks don't really mean a thing to me anymore. I only don't want her to be too fat and lazy. My two questions that I want to find out with a lady I'm interested in is if she's taken and if she's single, then seeing if she's interested in dating me also. That's pretty much it!  My screening process isn't really about physical attraction and only looking for a possible match at the personality and compatibility level, so I can easily accept her rejection if she doesn't feel comfortable. After all, I'm not having a hard time over the thought of leaving behind my soulmate. 

For the time being with dating, it needs to be only girls within my ethnicity until I've grown enough financial security that I can piggyback myself without support of anyone because it's frowned upon by my parents to marry another nationality. I don't really mind, but it's only on the condition of raising these funds on my own that I'll feel very comfortable about pursuing this possible end. I don't still need to maintain a close relationship with my selfish parents. They can call me selfish or whatever for not pleasing them, but I don't need to be around that lack of approval and go on living my happy life that they still have some trouble doing themselves from time to time. I think they would even benefit from seeing a therapist, if I end up going along this path. 

Sunday, January 30, 2022

Realizing Something

My mental health is better than ever. This is probably the most amount of comfort I felt ever since taking on a tough road of burying my feelings as a kid and occasionally letting it out while rough housing other boys! I was also a silly and crazy little kid who just tried his hardest to stay quiet because I thought it was just being nice. 

It became a problem eventually though because I wasn't socializing and feeling bothered by it. It turned into so much social anxiety with wanting to just fit in and relate to others. It was really hard for me to relax considering that I lived in a predominantly White and Hispanic neighborhood. 

Getting all this stuff settled happened out of nowhere for me. It happened from just practicing self-confidence with a positive mindset and maintaining a willing spirit. It didn't happen overnight but the buildup just feels consistently good. Even sometimes when I feel like I'm having a little off-day, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I have so much confidence underneath me that I'm just not bothered. I'm not even a shallow person anymore either with the friends I hang out with. I don't wish for better-looking girls to be my good friend and put off negative body energy around my homegirls anymore. I'm happy for who they are and care about them to the point of being protective over them even if they aren't my type.  

I'm just happy to have found the right people to be like the right pieces for me. Even if it feels scarce for me, it's just enough to work with because I have at least one to go with so far. Now, it's about finding a good girl who will become my life partner. 

Saturday, January 29, 2022

Dedicating Personal Time

I think I need to be more committed when I'm about to fall asleep by just pushing myself into action. This is probably what I have been lacking all this time. I'm pretty much a natural procrastinator until I get something turned into a routine.

I believe that I just need to inspire myself with something daily and then push myself to succeed while I'm so sleepy. There's definitely a limit to how much I can do though, but this is pretty much the gist of my life so far and what I'm working on dealing with. 

Friday, January 28, 2022

What I Need to Work on

I'm falling asleep too early before finishing all my desired, daily tasks. I shouldn't be working on my sofa all relaxed in the evening because that's when I'll doze off and not wake up until the wee hours. I don't know but I think I should drink a cup of coffee to stay up a little more.  

I'm going to have to be more committed to my time management. My daily To-Do list is starting to get more pronounced and actively followed. 

Thursday, January 27, 2022

Things to Do

Well I'm going to see a baseball game this weekend. I know it's already the new year by the time this post rolls around, but I wrote this towards the end of September of last year. It's crazy how weird this feels right now as I'm writing this sentence. Call it Deja vu soon? Of course, most of these posts will feel that way for me.

I want to work on profiting off cryptocurrency more often now. The high volatility with a proper strategy might be great for making some huge profit and getting to my millionaire goal as soon as possible. 

I still believe in diversifying risk so I'm also spreading out my trading portfolio into stocks and Forex. 

I want to start researching on the best app I can use to build some muscle, which would be much like getting a personal trainer while working out on my own. 

It's also great to have an idea for still trying to make myself grow taller as I'm reaching middle age. I still feel young underneath and have more maturity to work with. It's nice energy to work off of.  

I do need to repeat my daily routine of personal maintenance twice a day. 

Another thing for me is to start reading most of my books.

Lastly, I want to cook some meals as well.

My soulmate just started a new relationship and since we're good hangout buddies, I got her to agree with me on taking a break from each other. I'm happy for her relationship, but still mad about how it rubbed off me. I need some time to get it cleared off of my head. It's really causing me to have a ton of motivation to succeed on my main goal and then find a girlfriend I can be happy with as fast as possible. 

This is going to be challenging in general but I do need to keep up with great mental health. What's helping me is keeping my faith in Jesus, along with a positive and confident attitude. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Staying Happy

Something that I came across yesterday is such an important lesson. Eleanor Roosevelt said that happiness is not a goal but only a by-product. 

This gets me thinking that pursuing after a goal makes me happy already. Once I've obtained it, then I know it's going to still feel good to dabble on until I find another personal thing to work on. I think I've finally mastered the art of staying happy. 

At the base of my constant joy is really trusting upon a gracious and merciful Savior who is Jesus. I profess to believe in him as God's only Son who came into this world by a virgin birth through the womb of Mary. I'm not ashamed to stick to this belief even if it's outlawed somewhere and they manage to catch me while I go into hiding! With these belief systems, nothing should ever be outlawed. The fact that Christianity has been bruised up so much by sensitive world leaders in the past even during times of peace says something already. 

I think it's wrong to discriminate against Muslims as well even if my beliefs are different from theirs. I just don't believe in some of their sects that believe in forcing everyone to convert to Islam or else go out with a humiliating death. In contrast, the current Christianity in this world all associates with being peaceful like we've all adapted with differences. I don't really know of any Christian groups right now who collectively place their interests first and want to use violence. Jesus doesn't teach this in the Bible. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Figuring Out My Dream

My dream right now is to be able to make a lot of money as an investor and swing trader and then not have to show up at the office everyday to put in long hours for work. I want to enjoy my freedom and pursue other personal interests like traveling, cooking, enhancing my health, dating, and doing crazy volunteer work for a noble cause that just feels awesome!

I'm lucky to the point of having a ballsy and sometimes crazy dad who stuck with something and put food on the table and is able to provide me a cushy job opportunity at his insistence. I don't really need him, but it does feel a bit nicer while I'm still trying to figure out my life options.

My passions have changed and I'm not really so much into programming anymore. I want to only keep on doing it as a job because I think it's always fun to work on overcoming it if something gets stressful and then get paid for it later! 

Monday, January 24, 2022

Finding Better Focus

I really want to get better at swing trading and investing for financial security. This is pretty much all I care about for my occupation. I'm ready to leave this day job and then start dating whoever I end up making a romantic connection with while trying to help make this world a better place. At the same time, I want to have a lot of fun! 

I'm going to have to earn this by working hard for it and doing the best I can with being smart about what I mainly want to focus on. It's really coming down to proper time management. 

Sunday, January 23, 2022

Pursuing After a Dream

I don't think there's really anything wrong with marrying a God-fearing woman who also happens to want the same thing with me. My parents want to add in cultural significance and have grandchildren to fulfill their life goals. It's a crazy and annoying thing to me. They never did enough to get what they wanted out of me.

Thinking about it, I want to live my own life since I'm all grown-up and confident about how I want to live my life. I don't care about interracial marriages; despite having been brought up around a culture that heavily discourages it. The worst outcome I can imagine is not being given any financial support, and they might see it like it's bad karma upon me. I want to avoid this scenario by building financial security for myself.

My dream is to not have to rely on my parents for anything regarding financial needs and to thrive at least ten-fold without obtaining any favors from them. This means that I would be able to comfortably walk out on them while not caring about any of their selfish belief systems. 

I want to make the world a better place while having a ton of fun as well. I don't believe in harming individuals and want to continue putting in the effort to live a clean and healthy life. 

Saturday, January 22, 2022

Making It Easy to Figure Out

I really need to get my own place so I can start enjoying my personal life better, especially with getting myself onto the dating scene. My mom isn't really that cool of a person and gets nosy while caring too much about any lady I hang out with. 

Well, it's no big deal buying dinner for just one female friend I hang out with even if it isn't any date. It's pretty much an agreement of going out so I don't even consider it anything if I'm not interested in her. I guess it's good practice to work on being a gentleman and since I can afford it, no matter how annoying it feels that she keeps forgetting to pay me back. What's cool for me is that I'm no longer caring so much about a lady's physical appearance. It's really her personality and life-style choices that I'm more concerned about. I really just need to carry myself with a ton of personal confidence and positive energy while making proper connections with an honest girl who I can settle down with someday. 

I think the real trick now is combining proper Forex and cryptocurrency trades to build a lot of wealth that I can keep clean and consistent with the advice of an investing firm I'm sticking with. 

Friday, January 21, 2022

Putting in the Focus

It looks like I am able to fully entrust an investing group that does its own research to build upon my wealth. It's been reliable for me and saves a lot of time with making extra money on the side. 

I really want to focus on profiting off of very high volatility while not having to put that much time into monitoring it. It looks like mastering Forex and cryptocurrency are the best answers for me since they are both easily liquidable and don't require that much capital to get going with it. My main strategy is to keep risking the least amount of money to come up with something that works consistently. I'm applying creativity based on the ideas I remember getting myself exposed to. 

Hopefully, I'll reach a nice trend of consistently profiting someday.  

Thursday, January 20, 2022

Staying Focused

I think it's a great time for me to work hard and do the best I can to make some money on the side for some financial security, so I can go off and feel like I'm able to conquer the world. I no longer feel any lack of confidence with what I really want to do and don't even feel that much disappointment while dealing with any failures. If it relates to what I want to still accomplish then it's only going to keep on motivating me to get there now.

I honestly think I messed it all up as a kid while not having that much direction and understanding of my life. I don't think that's the case so much anymore. Overall, even though I can look like a really short guy, I don't feel it's really all that bad for me. I want to continue improving myself and maintaining a positive attitude to the point that I'm not even bothered by it anymore.  

I want to stop feeling even a little remotely bothered by how short I am. I don't think it matters in the long term, if I'm still able to hold it together for myself while managing to make stronger breakthroughs and stay happy.