Trading Smarter

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

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It looks like I still am in the process of understanding a profitable approach and how it's really you don't know so might as well put yourself in the best position that you know how to and do it as consistently as possible. This is the challenging part, but it's been exciting for me so I think I'm meant to be doing this on the side and hopefully, not for long I'll be on an even more exciting adventure with a nice spouse and family to be the head of and take care of responsibly. 

For all my years that have developed with progressing through building my confidence in dating relationships, I have become close friends with a female who was practically born to make me feel like she's a dealbreaker to me without being able to help it! I guess my mind has been opening up more since now I'm wondering what her true heart's intentions are even though her parents inadvertently raised her to become like this. 

Practicing basic chemistry with a natural approach has been giving me a nice sense of flow in our close friendship. I'm more patient with her while being at ease with trying to help her to accept and feel good about who she is individually when she's filled with remorse from feeling bad about stuff she never meant to incur on herself. She can be quite a pessimistic creature with social anxiety but I'm managing to make her feel good vibes from me. I must be doing something right- it leaves me to ponder this now: do opposites always attract? From what I'm speculating about her personality and doing a little causal research, our opposite personalities can complement each other in an ideal fashion. It's quite interesting and humorous for me to dwell on it privately! 

Feel Good Message for Myself With Past Dumb Friends Who Acted Like Adversaries

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

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(The following below is my raw copy of what I wrote. I am archiving it on here for purposes of showing off because I think they really are stupid and harmless people in the end.) 

I'm accusing most of you guys of being paranoid with anger issues and being so uptight. My example is simple- you don't want to add me on Facebook as just a friend. It doesn't matter because you can adjust your settings so I don't get access to whatever your business is on there. If you don't even go on it, then who really cares about adding me or not. My point is that you guys have this anger issue that you can't resolve too well while being uptight. Go ahead and tell the whole world about it! I don't mind coming around and bringing it up with everybody around you. I'm very confident about my debating skills even though it might end up feeling demeaning to you guys. It's the cost that I am willing to pay while being confident of my beliefs that you guys can still mature and grow up more. 

I was just too dang shy to bring this up so many many years ago when I had the chance. I choose not to be like that anymore. I really don't care how you feel about me because my feelings outweigh it more and I can see most of you guys as just dumb friends! Personal laughs intended. Man, it was angering me so much with you guys behaving so rudely and doing it so repeatedly with your responses. 

Whatever thing you guys were trying to influence me to do, well it just means you weren't meant to be there at that moment in time. If you were then you wouldn't have needed to be so rude while saying you were trying to help me. It wasn't clearly about my best interests but you guys just blowing off steam from being stupid and paranoid about stuff that others didn't want to step forward to tell me about. Man, I was worried I did something so wrong too but now I see that it's probably because you guys were just not thinking straight with a lot of tunnel vision and going through some mess that made you guys think so arrogantly while being so stubborn and negative as well in your thinking. Just by your responses and actions alone, it's enough to justify you guys have anger issues you should be aware of and on top of that, it's stupid and something you can laugh at about yourselves and accept while working on not being so much of a jerk if you care about it. Otherwise, you guys are narcissists and really gave me a lot of feared respect. Again, personal laughs intended. 

Becoming a Natural

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

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It looks like I have a lot of confidence building up. What I think now is even if my physical appearance of being short doesn't really attract the hottest looking women in general, it really doesn't matter to me so much anymore. I'm more about looking at the inner beauty, character, and good qualities over her appearance now. I don't really mind that much anymore because I'm in the mood for loving and it outweighs how I feel about any girl's looks! Some obviously look better than others and I will unsurprisingly pick the prettier one if I can but what's more important to me is feeling some genuine compatibility. I will leave a bad hot girl in the dust to be with a sweet and plain looking woman forever in a heartbeat!

Practicing basic chemistry with some female friends has been helpful to me a lot. It's also building up a lot of confidence for me while being in acceptance and continually thinking positive whenever I'm by myself. It's awesome to have a close female friend take initiative to hit me up regularly. I sort of just like to leave her alone and maybe she's attracted to this outgoing personality of mine which is generously friendly and will make you feel accepted. I admit that I don't always enjoy every detail of her daily drama and she can be like a little Miss Dealbreaker to me but I'm still continuing to practice basic chemistry with her and it's been helping me out some! 

Picking Up on Useful Things

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

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For the most part, it makes sense with Bill Gates having a reading speed of 750 words per minute and a 90% comprehension rate. He's been bound for success! I'm noticing that a lot of billionaires and successful people like to read a lot. 

I have decided to become an advert and fast reader myself and it's something that I grew up hating. Yet, I am now turning it into a great habit for myself. I really am willing to work hard and stay committed while giving it my all and ready to accept working on all the negatives I can improve upon and enjoying all the good stuff associated with always trying my best. I have enough confidence now to stay positive with myself and pick up on what is going to be done to earn some satisfaction! 

Becoming More Stable

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

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Underneath the surface, I think I'm just an ordinary guy with likes and dislikes. The main thing that I'm trying to do right now is make a lot of money so I can enjoy my freedom of time to do other things besides having to make money. On the side, I am open to hanging out with friends and also finding myself a romantic relationship. 

It's really been about just figuring things out while keeping myself a happy camper and being committed to some things I decide to do with my time. Picking up on self-confidence has been a major game changer for me and is helping me stay consistent with being a hard worker on whatever it is that I want to do. I am also making the best use of what I can.

I do get sucked into things quite easily, so it will always take me longer to sort things out. It's inevitable but I'm blessed to still know enough about Christ to let him have an impact in my life. 

Taking Upon Better Understanding

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

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I'm someone who will make adjustments after doing something that might be uncomfortable to another person. Basically that person can't handle me because he or she is being like a whiny brat. I think we all have that little kid inside of us, but for myself, I don't go off right away. I like to hold it in because well, I'm usually very shy to bring it up until I can't handle it anymore! From being confident, I have let it out right away especially if I naturally dictate the situation isn't that serious. Most recently, I lambasted a friend because I rejected all of his dating advice and did it publicly to his humiliation. My close friend wasn't helping by siding with him because I hate her advice too at the moment. She accepted me saying I'm not comfortable and she's heard me multiple times already. She practically smiled at me in respect and acceptance. 

The guy's confidence was visibly shaken. In my similar conflicts, the other person ends up getting offended by me because I'm transferring all that negative energy I felt onto people I'm at this point with and they usually don't know where it came from because obviously, they are being stupid about not being able to notice their own behavior while remembering and accepting it. 

Does it mean that they are bad people? Not necessarily with just this much information already presented but this is the conflict that has culminated with my end stage of ripping them apart and then they go away quietly and want to hide out in some dark corner for at least a little while. I have become a lot better at explaining so sometimes it's like I know this and you see it too now with what I just told you so you are forced to accept it and move on but maybe not in the way you intended with me originally because of my influential personality with explaining and doing things pertaining to my relationships. I have learned this about myself and intend to fully take advantage of it. If you have it then might as well, if it's useful for particular situations even if others don't quite have it down already like you do. 

Moving Along

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 

---

I'm noticing that I'm training myself appropriately for situations that I intend to see myself in now. Making the best out of what I have, especially with a close and young female friend, I'm just practicing basic chemistry with her without her knowing and keeping it natural. It appears to be that I'm doing well with her, if this is how I intend to talk to my future lover after adding in calling her pet names and physically touching more intimately. I intend to use this experience to help me out with my dating life. 

For my analysis of my buddy, I really don't mind however she wants to look and how messed up I believe her thinking is sometimes. I truly care about her but it's been all about sticking to my own principles on dating. She possesses a deal breaker that she can fix but it looks like she's now admitted to being stuck with it for the rest of her life now. It's sort of causing her problems right now with her current relationship. She can't fix it and treats it like some type of hated disease. 

I'm on her side still and think this is who she is and have told her that while giving her my full confidence in who she is as a person. I'm still open-minded to the possibility now since she can't fix it and I don't think she should be faulted for it. It's now about figuring out what her real intentions are whenever she's ready to share them with me. 

Doing Things in a Timely Manner

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 
10. Organize room more

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I think what might help me a lot is sticking to a routine and for the ones I have a harder time doing something different but productive and leading in that direction as a warm up. For example, I'm looking at exploring a little in my software engineering courses before doing my work because practically that's what I have chosen to do to make some money. I'm also trying to make money while swing trading and investing. 

I just need to come up with a routine that I can always stay committed to without coming off as too much fault and perform at a satisfactory level. 

The secret sauce to my relationships is to practice basic chemistry. I didn't know that and now I'm seeing it. It's thanks to a few friends who were annoying me with their weird advice on dating. I don't need it from them and it's funny too but not for those friends who I openly tell that I never want to talk about it with them. 

Some Consideration

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 
10. Organize room more

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To start off with what's on my mind, there's no doubt to myself that I am the right partner for my close hangout buddy who is a girl! To fall in love, it's going to require consummating but one of her natural deal breakers is that she can sometimes have some trouble with being intimate. From how she was raised, she sort of inherited a mental disorder that can affect her thoughts, mood, and behavior. It's also something that she admitted to having no control over.

This is definitely something considering how I wish to still be open-minded about it. I've lasted this long in our friendship and have been slowly climbing up on her list of personal favorite people. The only question I have now is what are her true intentions since she has a deal breaker she can't really fix no matter how hard she tries. I don't want to really count it against her, and what makes this easier to deal with is how I truly care about her. 

Cool Thought for Me to Accept Privately

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 
10. Organize room more

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I'm never going to be mentioning this to my close hangout buddy who is a female nor to anybody else who has ever been acquainted with me- I think I'm the right partner for my close hangout buddy. However, she isn't the right one for me because she still has a deal breaker that she can fix on her own! It feels good to feel like this in a confident manner. 

Anyway, I did talk about deal breakers already and forwarded one of these posts about how I think I could have partnered up with her to some weird acquaintances. I just didn't mention that I feel like I am the right person for her and see it in a very confident manner now. I'm never going to send this portion out to anybody nor even mention it to my female buddy. 

I have been working on practicing basic chemistry in a natural way with her, which she would call organic. She has responded beautifully to me. It's all natural and genuine since I truly care about her, but still not interested in ever dating her. I simply think about my "Baby" or "babe" and then text or say things to my buddy without putting it at the end. She's given me several thumbs up over these texts, but she doesn't know what I intended to put at the end. She never will! 

Totally Ready to Move Forward

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 
10. Organize room more

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Based on a friend being so butt hurt about something unusual, it's a guy and I made him mad because I said that all of his dating advice makes me feel uncomfortable! I also made him feel embarrassed by berating him in front of others about it. I didn't notice at the time, but he struggles to be a positive person and is a very stubborn individual when things don't go his way while wanting to paint only good things about himself and always feel this way in a selfish manner. He might struggle with being a little narcissistic and maybe underneath, he struggles with true self-confidence and having acceptance of anyone with an open mind. I think there are plenty of people in this world who might feel like he does and his older sister who is a soulmate of mine is even worse!

This soulmate really messed herself up and was verbally abused by her last ex in her failed marriage. There's even some allegations that could potentially be made by her having been criminally assaulted but she decided to never officially report anything. She pretty much screwed herself over with what she thought was true love and somewhat became like civilized white trash even though she would appear to be an average Asian to go on dates with! I guess it's not that bad of a description that I would get myself in trouble for. However, I won't ever be officially speaking of it like this. She has emotional problems and is going to vent to someone at almost an inappropriate scale after establishing what she knows is an unbreakable one-way street (it's always going to be more in her favor) while saying this and that and having her moment of being stubborn and not open-minded about moving forward while feeling like staying on great terms. 

She's basically kept on her toes by people she wants to stay friends with and aren't comfortably close to her yet but one of her true colors is that she can be a rude person. She loses friends and blocks it out of her mind while thinking of it as something common. However, she can feel guilty so will allow for amends sometimes. I think she is dealing with some abandonment and anger issues while denying any of its claims and saying that she's fine. She really is stubborn as well and struggles to always be positive because she can't do it on her own. She has become mentally unhealthy from a relationship point-of-view and is looked up to by her brother who feels close to her but the brother is still better poised than she is. They both have this issue that they could grow out of but I doubt they see it as anything good to work on with themselves and thus have a deal breaker that some people can sense and will act accordingly to while they choose to always deny it with their friends!  

I have already brought it to their attention in a different way but hope a little tough love with a more gentle touch from me will motivate them both to be lovely more consistently. 

Reflecting and Moving Forward

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 
10. Organize room more

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It feels practically good to realize the things that I want to work on and think are obtainable. I think it really comes down to time management and figuring out how to approach certain things without always being so frustrated about it. Another thing is to do some grinding, but now I think it should be done in a positive spirit with the best intentions for yourself. 

Planning Steps With Plenty of Confidence

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman. 
2. Buy a single family home. 
3. Do some smart cooking.
4. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.  
5. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam!
6. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
7. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
8. Read a book  
9. Finish my software engineering related courses. 
10. Organize room more

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I have gained a lot of confidence now so it isn't that hard for me to plan my steps to reach my goals. I mainly just need to be committed. 

I'm distracting myself with watching baseball and texting my close friend I guess. To get things done for me, I think it's just intuition and taking it step by step.

Therefore, I believe that I need to be vigilant about figuring out what I need to do to be efficient while feeling satisfied for the day. It's probably one of those things where I can feel like I don't need to do anything and go after something else to let my mind wander off into. I think I need to be able to snap myself back into place.

Improving on Myself

  4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more

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I think the main thing for me is pretty much practicing basic chemistry, even if I don't feel like I'm that into someone. My close hangout buddy who is a girl still remains a deal breaker for me! I have been practicing it on her and she doesn't even know it to the point that I hardly recognize doing it on her now too. 

I am so tired of appearances now and everything eventually feels the same for me. They are all the same body parts with slight variations so what's the point of always feeling turned on at such a shallow level? It's pretty stupid to me now, and I'm pretty much at the minority end of this circle among guys. I know there's a minority of girls who want a very physically attractive looking man in their lives with a great personality to sweep them off their feet though. I guess it's not about settling for them. A soulmate of mine is one of them, but it looks like I could end up being slightly better looking than her overall, so is it going to really matter after all? 

I just want to feel swept off my feet now with a girl who has the right qualities. Dang, I felt it with this one girl I went on a date with but she turned me down. I was pretty stupid on that date and so I'm not getting any more dates because of my bad reputation or something at the same place. It's taking a long time and I don't think it's going to be reliable for me anymore.

My confidence level and creativity is starting to take on a new life, since I don't care about being rejected solely because of my looks alone now or even who I am overall as a person even if I made any mistakes. I'm going to just continue practicing basic chemistry which I currently believe is my secret and natural ingredient to finding myself a nice wife. 

What Might Have Triggered Me to Grow Up

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more

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Out of all the rude people out there, there is someone still at a church who thinks she's entitled, holy, and chosen by God to lead me on some mystical spiritual journey of transformation, Crazy Lee! Absolutely not, I just needed to gain enough self-confidence and not self-esteem; they are actually two different entities. I finally gained it and grew up with this type of ruckus interfering with my growth but it could have been anything, right? Maybe I was already a smart alec to begin with. 

Anyways along with Crazy Lee and her gang and also a couple jerkwads like "Ace Mags" having responded rudely so continuously while I wasn't backing out and trying to be nice and all these angry emotions caving in to being tempted to go on murderous beatdowns with fists and feet, I just can't because I'm just dang too aligned with the good side. Actually what triggered this angry emotion and made me want to go on a rampage was just calling me crazy. It's like how dare they when it would be them who are crazy, right? 

I'm down for Christ but when it comes to getting that boogie woogie, I'm pretty unashamed about admitting to having a lasting predilection for women in general with really almost no physical preferences [pretty please don't be an actual man]! It can always feel so hot on fire like that so bring me a nice woman to be my wife, Lord of Hosts! I really think the secret to doing it is finding your own secret; I think I found mine. 

A Tiny Harmless Thing

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more

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I think I'm working on being more smooth in my speech delivery so I can carry on a romantic relationship in the future with a woman! Fortunately, my close hangout buddy is a woman even though she's taken right now and has two or more lingering deal breakers she would need to fix and then slowly build back my trust. I'm just not telling her I'm practicing basic chemistry on her. I just think of something I would call my wife like baby or babe and then think about that at the end of my texts with my buddy besides ending it with the endearment. I think a good personal note to myself is that I'm going to need to stay sober enough before texting her! 

It's been very natural for me and totally me but what helps so much also is that I genuinely care about her a lot. Honestly, this is something I'm keeping a secret from the whole world and I just happen to be bragging about it on this puny blog which has turned out to be successful on my own terms! If she finds out about it, then it wasn't through me and I'm not ever going to bring it up so she might even question its validity. Plus, it isn't really that bad but it doesn't feel smooth to tell her about it because it might just mess up our fun chemistry. 

It's starting to make sense to me that I am a capable man to the eyes of many. It was my lack of self-confidence that was holding me back. Even though I am a short man, I look physically normal to the eyes of my honest mom and even my close hangout buddy has been giving me a few compliments about my appearance. I think I'm actually not that bad looking of a guy now especially with my genuine smile, so it makes sense with me practicing a little harmless chemistry on my buddy, she seems to be getting swooned quite a bit. 

I'm going to keep this up and never tell her until maybe I'm happily married and I'm open-minded that if she ever is able to consistently stay out of trouble with her deal breakers when those occasions arise then I'll pick her whenever she's ready! 

I think in general I should be practicing a little chemistry with any decent lady I see and so maybe this is what first blind dates are all about for me. This could maybe be my little secret that I don't care to investigate more on. 

Another friend is actually weird trying to jump the gun with his views on life and dating, but he turned out to be selfish, dependent, and stubborn about wanting to see it implemented on everyone he could see fit. He thought I was one of these people he could do it to from wanting some type of validation or something, while thinking something he saw with me was too out of place. I still can't believe I picked up on this bad behavior from him that he tricked himself into masking while developing some personal "good guy-isms" after going through a rut. ( Well, it could be that it happened to me before, but I wasn't that good about coming up with all the details like I can now.) This can probably be one of the dangers from being your own self-help buddy. I totally tore up his insides while holding nothing back with my texts. It's crazy that my bad texts have affected everyone in my past. I must be this smart while they are just unaware and stubborn about not thinking why they are being so bad. 

I like to think he's sort of in a jam right now with this life purpose that he wants fulfillment over. I think he's so weird and he also needs to be more careful right now about not making me a hot topic for him! I have enough details that make so much sense to put him down out of defense. I think this is also the same for Crazy Lee and her gang now! I think the issue is long gone already but they might still feel very negative about it collectively. They are so crazy, but now I have enough nerves to be combative with enough brain power that I naturally obtained from being my normal, confident self. 

Working Hard

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more
12. Reactivate drone

---

I think my mind just wanders off too much and I just need to be proactive and try my best to stay concentrated. I guess it can be like this activity where I just refocus on what I'm doing, if my mind goes somewhere else and I should look the part. 

Becoming Undeniably Happy With Some Personality Traits

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more
12. Reactivate drone

---

I am a very rare personality in that I think most people are more into experiences while possessing great memories rather than theoretical. My current closest hangout buddy is supposed to be my ideal personality to partner up with. Yet, she's taken right now and I feel like she's still a broken record that needs to be taped up before I'm ready to pursue a relationship whenever she becomes available. 

I'm practicing basic chemistry with her and it's coming very naturally for me. It's like I'm giving myself just a little nudge whenever I'm feeling worn out with what she wants to talk about. She's a very sensitive person, so I must have done amazing wonders for her to still stick around even when we had some fiery disagreements. Our spats were out of this world in that it was mainly her complaining about my manners not being sensible enough and me thinking she's taking it too far! I think this can be a common fight among couples now that I think of it. 

We're so far into this platonic relationship that just me focusing on having basic chemistry enough with her has been the right step on my end. It's all just natural and completely genuine on my part. I think it's also that I really care a lot about her even if she still has a deal breaker to me. I want to be kinder about the stuff that still irks me about her, like I think her relationship advice is senseless and uncomfortable because she will get mad if I disagree. 

How Things Are Falling into Place

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more
12. Reactivate drone

---

It's amazing with some of my past posts I'm writing up from feeling it at the spur of the moment. Because I'm not blessed with sound memory, I sort of have to beat it into submission if I want to always remember something intricate. 

My mind is really cloudy a lot of times with both feelings and reasoning thoughts. It's easy for me to wander off into something else and lose my concentration while trying to do something important for personal reasons and then have to refocus again continually. 

In other words, I've never been fully meticulous about organizing my own personal thoughts and feelings. I'm learning to get better at it though by just putting myself into the fire, which I need to do more often. I think I'm just trying to coast through hard moments of making a living.  

Getting the Hang of My Personality

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  
5. Read a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Organize room more
12. Reactivate drone

---

I don't think I'm really that smart but I guess I'm lucky to be capable enough from being persistent and having developed confidence. A lot of things that have annoyed me or bothered me in the past and still cause me to think about indulging in crazy fantasies like beating up my rude father is really from having perceived prolonged rude behavior and never saying anything about it. The build up has caused me to act out by mostly saying or texting things that get under people's skins. 

I had this problem because I was just too shy about bringing it up from feeling like I wouldn't be manly enough if I couldn't handle a little thing. I think it's a misperception for me now because I wasn't being manly from being a coward about bringing it up and lacking in confidence. 

I guess my way of being rude was saying things that people don't know where I'm coming from and still being mad about it. I just need to get better at communicating what's bothering me. 

Understanding Good Friends

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
5. Attempt to finish reading a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

I guess I've been dealing with some imposing friends. Maybe they just want to feel like they are making a difference to some guy who they feel can have a lot more going for him than themselves. This guy happens to me! 

What help they are trying to impose on me feels like they are forcing their way through and it's quite annoying! I never really ask them for help and don't really want it. It's crazy how having a good friend I admire to talk about certain topics like relationships has really been so good for me. She's totally making sense to me, and I'm vibing very well with her. I think I like her a lot as a person as well, so it helps. 

One of the annoying aspects about one of my imposing friends who is my close hangout buddy is that she will start asking if I want to be in a relationship and try to get me started on it. Gosh, it's like borderline rudeness there and I don't know if I'm really ever going to tell her that I feel this way with her doing that. I'm also trying to be nice to her, so it gets a little hard to tell her. 

Anyway, I don't even know if this is a dealbreaker with her doing that to me but a few other things about her behavior really irk me when it comes to considering a dating relationship with her personally. Just because people are in a dating relationship doesn't mean they are successful with what they are doing. I'm mostly rejecting what they think is best and they should be mindful about it. 

I think the criteria I used to pick my friend to talk about relationships is really turning out to make a lot of sense. She has the qualities I look for in a person and it doesn't matter if they are in a relationship or not. She has a unique predicament for me in how she enjoys staying as a single mother and she has hit on me quite a few times but I didn't fall for it because not being with a single mom is a preference for me, so it's a deal breaker but she does have enough qualities I look for. 

Focusing on Priorities

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard.
4. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
5. Attempt to finish reading a book  
6. Buy a single family home. 
7. Finish my software engineering related courses.
8. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
9. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
10. Do some smart cooking.
11. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

It looks like it's really about focusing on the most important things for me and just riding out any form of stress by putting a literal smile on my face. It's really coming down to being patient and just getting things done in a timely manner. 

I don't think I really need to focus so much on watching TV anymore and just get done with what I should be doing to reach some goals. Seriously, I think putting an easy smile on my face is just a great way to maintain a level of good confidence when anything is feeling uneasy for me. At the same time, I don't know what it is yet but listening to Scriptures has also been very helpful for me. 

It looks like because I like to stay pretty chill, I pretty much get this frozen-in-motion syndrome often when I'm feeling stressed. I just feel like from work piling up and not knowing how to go about it. I sort of lack this bird's eye point-of-view and just need to be organized better by breaking it down.  

Understanding What Transpired in the Past

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

With me being a very confident person now, I believe that I have come to know my personal intentions very well. I don't really care if people disagree with me or not. I'm not really going to argue in some cases. For the most part, I just want to practice maintaining basic chemistry with all of my female friends. I have yet to maintain being friends with someone who doesn't have any deal breakers and is single! 

An interesting friendship that I have going is that there is a single mom who has enough qualities I look for in a woman, plus when she cleans up on her good days, she can be almost too pretty for me to date. She has only one deal breaker for me which is how she's a mom. It's a deal breaker for me because it's just a preference. 

I'm going to be truthful and reveal that I think having physical preferences is too dumb and shallow! It really shouldn't matter in my opinion because we are all going to be too old to date or something could take us out of commission and would be nice then to have a partner who sees us for more than just looks or requires both. It's a quality to be able to find your partner still attractive even if he or she no longer has the looks from being too old, sick, or even fat which will be inevitable for everyone. 

For a close friend I know, she is going to only worry about it when she gets there, so she will keep on struggling with this and she has already been in many relationships! She thinks being together for a year is already a long time, but I think it's still a short run when you look at it from the bigger picture of how you lived your life. She has some character issues and ironically, I call her a soulmate! However, she's a soulmate who has deal breakers so I won't ever be getting with her as long as I can feel this way about her. It's crazy because by completing only a few moves, I could have been married to her and committed to being in a loving relationship and then probably succeed at maintaining a healthy marriage! 

Living the Dream Career

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

I am a rather rare trader from choosing to participate with the intention of profiting off the Forex market. I am doing a lot better with it now. I have future plans laid out for me in making a ton of money without really having to work that hard except being at a computer which comes naturally to me and might be a lot harder than it actually seems to some! I'm ready to be like "Come to Papa" mode.

On a random note, I really don't mind marrying and having a partner who doesn't fit the looks category of what I was looking for in the first place anymore. I find myself still capable of being physically attracted to these other types of women. In fact, I don't think I even have that much of a preference with it anymore. I'm just looking for great qualities and no deal breakers. 

I'm going to play it safe and work hard for my money and then get courageous about trading and investing to make myself rich on the side! I'm going to stick to being a software engineer because I am a natural grinder and don't mind all the pain and personal abuse I feel with it. 

Where I'm Going With This

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

It's funny that I had a lot of minor issues that I fostered as personal drama for a while and was still open to listening and being chill with others because of maintaining some good qualities. From the stress and lacking a lot of confidence, it turns out that it's really simple to fix by just putting a smile on your face and then putting in the hard work by just doing it! 

Now whenever I get a chance to talk to any lady around my range who I can confidently date, I want to practice applying basic chemistry with them. It doesn't matter anymore if I spot any deal breakers, I want to keep on smiling and getting used to the basics. This is something I'm going to do starting with a close hangout buddy who wasn't really the greatest woman in the world for me to associate with while going on a few first dates. I've already come to accept her deal breakers! 

Finding Right Thing to Focus On

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

Analyzing what I did yesterday, a lot of it was centered on entertainment. I guess it's okay but it should be done for the right reasons. I think I can really let it go for doing more important things.

I think I need to continue to do my very best while working hard at it and maintaining a high level of self-confidence. 

I have figured out that I want to make my money as an investor and just have a lot of free time. Anything stress-related for whatever unknowns that are coming before me is something that I can face with a smile! 

Figuring Me Out

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home.   
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Return a defective part for a much needed refund.

---

A key step for me has really been developing self confidence. There's really no way other than for me to now use this and work very hard to get to what I'm looking for in life. 

Well, there's a thing I plan to do on a close hangout buddy who is a younger woman! Even though I'm not interested in dating her at the moment, I have been focusing on practicing some basic chemistry with her at a consistent rate. It sometimes feels boring to just talk to her, but I still have a smile on my face and let out some positive enthusiasm! 

I want to turn this into a habit so that I can have a better chance of success whenever I can be blessed with some more exciting dates. Even if I'm undesirable while my preferences are getting looser, I'm going to be happy wherever I'm at. I won't ever tell my buddy I'm doing this for my own benefit! I guess she can just suspect it or never realize it while trying to ask about what's wrong with me sometimes. 

Theorizing My Past Stupid Actions

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.

---

Because I'm so confident with myself, I really don't care about people making wild accusations with me anymore. Neither do I really care about calling myself all sorts of negative names anymore. My upbeat confidence still remains the same- unbridled! 

I think with me going all ape crazy on annoying and pervertedly weird colleagues while being like the nicest guy in the world that I could be at the same time, it was just a personal ploy to deal with my lack of self-confidence. I was really just throwing my weight around like a maniac and then in a timidly weird way sometimes just to compensate for my lack of self-confidence. I even texted people my complaints that threw them off and made them turn into wet sour peaches that could be left alone to allow them to dry out every last drop of its bitter tears because of my lack of self-confidence and not being able to approach them in person about it! 

With me acting the way I did and having only a few good girls pursuing me at the time, I totally regret not marrying one of them. It's because of my lack of self-confidence. I blame it all on not being able to man up at the time. Not anymore and the love of Christ should compel you to do the same- being the good preacher who is also walking his holy talk!  

Understanding Romantic Side of Me

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.

---

I think with my confidence having been stifled in the past but now broken free to be clean of any lingering personal insecurities, it's a total game changer for me along with my undying faith in the Lord. When the going gets tough with anything you are trying to do, just cling to absolute self confidence while working harder! My faith in Jesus is really what's causing me to stay here while constantly feeling this radical change take place within my heart. 

I realize that with a close hangout buddy, we really could have done something close to hooking up by now if things were a little different. It's still not probable at the moment because now I realize she has a major deal breaker for me that she could fix over time from working on herself with a therapist. She's also in a relationship with someone else right now she truly adores and cares about. I'm secretly not really into her being with that person because it's related to my own personal beliefs which I don't think I ever need to share with her. I do care a lot about her personal happiness, and I'm not going to be persistent about being together. I actually don't mind all of her faults and how she appears anytime anymore but a couple things about her behavior is something that is really a deal breaker for me and she can still work on it. 

With her having thought of me originally as like a brother, I see it as because I wasn't establishing enough chemistry with her. This theory makes sense because I subconsciously spotted a deal breaker but was making the effort to still be friendly with her. 

It wasn't really that smooth sailing and always messed me up on my first dates until I went out with the right lady and she politely turned me down. However, she seems to have allowed a small opening for us to see each other again. This has become the turning point for me in understanding my romantic relationships. 

I never really put that much thought into all the reasons why I'm frustrated while using my own natural talent of coming to happy conclusions about myself. I was just dwelling on my negative emotions and complaining secretly why things had to be this way. 

The way I managed to get out of this is from eventually developing true confidence and working harder. I also see myself as a natural at being able to understand myself from a therapist's point of view since I'm managing to always stay truly happy and confident with myself. I also know now that I don't ever want to talk about my dating goals with certain friends because they are annoying me and how I prefer discussing it with a certain inner crowd instead. This annoyance comes from thinking it's a waste of time talking about it with them while feeling like I'm not interested in what they have to offer me. These friends can also work on developing qualities I admire, which may change my mind over time of course so that I'll be happy to open up about my dating life but this is something I'm not going to openly remind them about. 

Personal Preferences

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
14. Pack for trip. 

---

I finally understand my personal preferences. I prefer talking about dating with only a few friends but I am initially open to talking about it with anyone new until I get to know them well enough to personally decide if I'm still interested. The people I love listening to about dating are practically the experts who I personally know and have successfully dated the type of person I'm interested in. Just because one of my close friends said she's dated a lot of people, I still find it to be awkward and uninteresting for me to talk about it with her. She's very interested in talking about it, but I'm not into her so I just don't want to waste my time engaging in this type of conversation. It makes sense then that I haven't been practicing enough of that good amount of chemistry with her and turned into some type of bad habit, so I think it's had an effect on my own dating life. I think because of my actions and not conveying my lack of interest in dating her, she can even think that I'm like a brother to her which isn't the case for me. I just see her as a friend and since she's a girl who has the appearance of someone within my range, I find that she has a few deal breakers at the moment which she can fix but I'm never counting on it so with my preferences, not interested! 

I think trying to maintain romantic chemistry is very important in general with any single lady who wants to connect with me. It's pretty boring for me sometimes, but I'm willing to always grind it out with a smile on my face despite not being in the mood for participating sometimes. Honestly, looks don't really matter to me anymore so I've grown to become someone else in a good way. 

Understanding Why I Became So Bothered

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
14. Pack for trip. 

---

I think a lot of this whole being bothered thing really became worse because I was lacking in so much self-confidence and building up a lot of frustration. I have always been committed to not gunning down anybody who I think seriously wronged me because it was always silly to me and there was something deeper that I was having trouble tapping into. 

I managed to figure it out. It's because it was such an introverted thing to focus on my emotions and it was stressful to figure out while lacking in self-confidence to really motivate myself to naturally understand myself. It wasn't easy but I just think putting my faith in the Lord from reading and hearing some Scriptures really comforted me. I was already a believer to begin with, so I think it contributed to me gaining a lot of confidence that I always wanted for myself in this world but never could obtain. 

What I Need to Work On

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
14. Pack for trip. 
15. Car wash
16. Haircut

I'm really trying to make money right now on the side by doing something ingenious and unconventional. What I am noticing is that there may be better opportunities for me if I stay up a little past my bedtime and manage some trades. It could be that maybe this is the final piece I need to complete my system. 

---

I'm really hoping to continue working on everything with myself. The latest thing I'm interested in is developing some romantic chemistry while just doing it for practice right now of course with my close friend. She's pretty oblivious about it, and I think it's better that I never reveal it to her in person because it could ruin the work I already put into it by changing her mood. Also, it's probably something that I never need to bring up because I'm not interested in her from having a few deal breakers which I implied with her. I don't mind telling her really if she wants to ever directly ask me if I like her or not in that way. 

Overall, she seems to be enjoying hanging out with me so far. This practice I'm doing with her is also not something I'm enforcing with myself. I just don't really care about impressing her at this point in our relationship. 

Pushing Forward With Better Time Management

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
14. Pack for trip. 
15. Car wash
16. Haircut

---

I think it's better to just exercise discipline with letting the mind stay focused and practicing things that are better suited for time management. It seems like I just mean well, but I'm just slow to finish because my mind likes to wander off a lot. 

Now I see two more flaws my close friend has. She can work on accepting some things better besides complaining and admitting that she's being weird sometimes. She does have a pretty bad case of anger issues and even though she's toned up quite a bit, it's still pretty existent and she has been working with a therapist. 

I really am understanding my emotions better. This is all introverted, and I don't really have to share them with anyone if it doesn't really pertain to them. The focus should be on better things sometimes, and this is what my close friend also has a problem with too. 

My close friend has things she could still fix about herself, as she comes to the knowledge of them slowly but until then, these are deal breakers for me when it comes to wanting to date her. I'm only indirectly using her for practicing romantic chemistry. It feels pretty boring with her but I just want to get used to it, so it will be there when I'm finally going out with the right person. 

What I'm Realizing

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
14. Pack for trip. 
15. Car wash
16. Haircut

---

I am mentally in a lot better shape than I was years ago, and it seems like it only keeps on getting better for me like how wine gets finer as it ages. It's thanks a lot to this self-confidence that I've been blessed to finally receive and want to wholeheartedly give credit to the Lord! 

I could have returned meanness from others who said they were only helping with snappy behavior and then get away with it while messing with their confidence levels thanks to my personality being able to catch and remember their hypocritical behaviors. I decided not to go forward with it because I didn't want to feel like a meanie anymore and was too tired of being that way occasionally. It just left me feeling depressed and guilty while building up so much compassion oddly for my dumb foes! I was tired of acting like an eccentric person who acted so tough and probably was but could never finish strong from being a procrastinator and sometimes chronically fatigued from the build up of stress while lacking patience and having very high expectations. 

I think I can be hard nosed and even more stubborn while demeaning all I want to be in a cool manner that I like while always sounding a lot nicer in tone than I'm normally accustomed to with yelling freely. I can be mad all I want to be and say the meanest honest things without wavering in confidence by just sounding nicer! I can even be more effective with people who I am mutually angry with and saying whatever I want by just sounding more polite! 

Making Some Sense With What I Have

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots

---

Okay, it's pretty clear to me that one of my close female friends really likes me. I'm also her main guy friend that she likes to prioritize hanging out with. Other than that, she likes to be with her family.

She has mentioned to me before that if I wasn't a nice person then she would have cut me off already a long time ago. She has also been seeing a therapist and I'm starting to see a little improvement with how she carries herself when I do stuff to tick her off!  

It's mainly been about communication over stuff we like and I'm realizing this is really the crust of having chemistry in relationships. It can feel boring for me, but I think it's necessary for me to build upon if I want to have female relationships and especially a lover so I see it as practice with her. I'm not into this friend even though she's enough for me on the outer appearances. I don't really care about it that much and besides, there are other different looking girls who I also like about their appearances too. It's just that, it's not enough for me anymore when it comes to finding myself a wife. 

Holding Things Up Better

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Discuss plans next day with friend about upcoming trip
14. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
15. Go to walmart to return item and buy any needed items (e.g. honey,vicks)
16. Test out new drone
17. Buy batteries for piano and practice my two songs
18. Wash car

I think I'm just naturally meant to be a busy man and have so many things that I want to do on a daily basis while never being able to get to all of it. Therefore, I have to prioritize my time to be more effective besides just never completing anything. I do like to complete one or two tasks before just calling it a day though, so I think I need to just push myself a little more on a daily basis so that I can feel more satisfied and then go have fun with something which is the best part of my day!

---

I think my faith in Jesus isn't going to be leaving me anytime soon. I think from listening to Scriptures on a daily basis and trying to understand its contents is actually helping me better now. 

Also, I'm learning that I don't want to reject any appearances with ladies in general. I want to treat them all equally and really only weigh them upon qualities which I'm looking for. There is such a thing for me with a girl being a little too pretty or a little too ugly. I'm going to probably always be a little nervous about it if she's the one and has that type of appearance, but I'm still willing to keep manning up about it! I think it's just a quality of mine.  

Revisiting Goals

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Attempt to finish reading a book  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Discuss plans next day with friend about upcoming trip
14. Take some time to finish up voting on mail-in ballots
15. Go to walmart to return item and buy any needed items (e.g. honey,vicks)
16. Test out new drone
17. Buy batteries for piano and practice my two songs
18. Wash car

I'm looking at these objectives on a daily basis but I keep failing to complete all of them. I think I am able to maybe knock out only one before calling it a day! This is something I would like to fix. 

I think it's mainly because my mind is pretty boggled down with the ridiculousness of doing it with the time given to me and then wanting to do something less productive to pass the time. I think I just have to accept with a smile on my face that it's better to do what I have in mind of doing besides feeling like I'm indirectly escaping into someone else's world by watching television. I mean if I have time afterwards then maybe I should go reward myself.

I'm going to just break it down into smaller and manageable steps that are satisfying for me to complete at the bare minimum because I sort of want to be in more control of my tasks and feel a lot more fulfillment. 

It looks like it's a lot easier for me to do things with people because I prefer this way besides being on my own. It's a lot harder for me to execute it on my own because then I want to always give into less productive but fun things to waste my time without realizing it. 

A life coach has tried to sell me on mentoring me, but I'm just not into it. 

The life coach can't even always be there to be of any help to me. Plus, I don't really want to pay him anything to be coached. Maybe he has a better way of doing it if he gets to be successful at something like Real Estate or business and then make an offer to mentor someone for free he sees fit. He then doesn't have to worry about paying for some bills! 

Trading Better

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Finish reading a novel  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Prepare for trips. Create and use a checklist. Buy tickets
14. Finish voting on mail-in ballots
15. Go to walmart to return item and buy some needed items
16. Test out new drone

In order for me to trade a lot better, I'm really going to need to stay up. I'm having trouble doing this because I'm just knocking out. I think I just need to remind myself that I'm doing this for possibly easy money! I'm going back to my trading routine that was successful for me two months ago. 

I completely went off with trading and it derailed me this month. Fortunately, all is not lost and the amount I lost is something I am willing to stomach for this. It's interesting how comparing it to trading and Poker, I get more butt hurt about losing a few dollars in a game of Poker rather than losing hundreds of dollars in trading. This leads me to conclude that I have always been meant to be a trader, and I even have a passion for it while loving this swing trading approach I am still developing. 

Making End's Meet Properly

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Finish reading a novel  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Prepare for trips. Create and use a checklist. Buy tickets
14. Finish voting on mail-in ballots

Honestly, I would really like to find myself an exciting girlfriend who's ready to be my wife! I think it would then make my life a lot more fun even though it's already manageable with what I have going on. Deep down inside I believe that I can live a single man's life happily while achieving all the goals that I ever wanted for myself and live a full life. I can also find myself hanging out with different types of crowd easily. I now have all the confidence that I could ever want underneath for myself. 

---

I think a big trick that I'm learning for myself is to just put on a smile while I'm facing some type of adversity which feels sort of negative and then move in while focusing on what I intended to do. 

For one of the qualities that I have, I can mesh well with just about any personality type if I wanted to. We can totally be in disagreement with a lot of things, but I can still call them friends. For a close friend, our personalities might work really well together like we could even be ideal romantic partners if we were both interested but she's still lacking in a few qualities I look for. It makes sense in that she already admitted to liking me a lot and mentioned that I have the right personality for her. She even has been able to convince her closest friends to want to go on a date with me! 

To make matters worse, she ended up saying that I'm like a brother to her which greatly angered me so it was an offensive remark to me and even a soulmate said the same thing to me! This really drove me so crazy for a while underneath but now I understand that it's still offensive to me because I only have one little sister who should be able to call me an actual brother, and I see her as a very special family member. However, I can understand being called a spiritual sibling through my faith which is what even practicing spouses can say to each other! Also, I'm never interested in talking to them about dating while thinking it's a waste of time from already seeing neither of them as a good girlfriend for me. It always made me think about it because they still like to sometimes bring it up about me finding other women to date.

Besides this frustration with those close friends, I do have another friend who I see as having enough qualities for me to want to date but has a deal breaker from being a single mom. Another guy friend I know only wants to date these women, so I guess it can sometimes also really be about what our preferences are. If this single mom I'm friends with called me a brother, then I think I can let it slide more easily from staying interested to talk about why she isn't interested in me and just accept it. It's still possible that I might change my mind about her later on though and go back to becoming frustrated with her if she ever did! However, she has been complimenting me as of late, which is so nice of her.  

I never really practiced enough personal reflection of why some things just tick me off so much.

Maybe it's because it's a highly introverted thing, and I'm not so much of an introvert. I prefer being extroverted. From writing to putting up posts on here, it's like a trade off with doing something introverted and then sharing it anonymously on here for any random person to read! This then makes it an extroverted thing for me, so all these introverted posts I've been doing is really me making an extroverted expression of just letting out anything boggling me because I'm already confident to know doing this is always enough and healthy for me without having to pay for any therapist. It's so brilliant, I know!  

Ranting About Online Poker

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Finish reading a novel  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Prepare for trips. Create and use a checklist. Buy tickets
14. Finish voting on mail-in ballots

---

Especially with this Poker game I'm playing, it feels like I can be outdrawn while holding the better starting hand and then beaten by a slightly better hand on another one at any time. It's mainly a game of patience while taking advantage of both luck and skill. It's starting to drive me a bit crazy because I am starting to feel some gambler's remorse from playing this game. I think I'm going to just sit out until I really have the luxury of being able to play it without really caring what happens to the money I put into it and being mainly just for fun. I guess in the end I really can't afford to lose a little money in this game and then keep myself going. I just don't have the passion for it like I used to anymore. 

Talking About Relationships

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.
2. Work on staying concentrated and finishing in a timely manner.   
3. Handle an important task at work.   
4. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.
5. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 
6. Stay up a little later at night to manage trades.
7. Finish reading a novel  
8. Buy a single family home. 
9. Finish my software engineering related courses.
10. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products.
11. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 
12. Do some smart cooking.
13. Prepare for trips. Create and use a checklist. Buy tickets
14. Finish voting on mail-in ballots
15. Buy an acceptable mini drone for travel.

---

I have been learning a lot about myself and it looks like a close female friend is not someone I want to ever be in a dating relationship with just because she has a personality trait which is a deal breaker. It's something she can fix on her own but I'm not going to hold her to it while pursuing her. It's just not in my personal preference to do something like it. 

Also for a soulmate of mine, she also has a couple deal breakers, too! I definitely am not pursuing her even though I still call her a soulmate- what an oxymoron! I'm not even going to mention her as a soulmate anymore to others because they are going to see me as crazy! It's a quality of mine that allows me to see her as one! I'm practically the committing type, so it's something I can never take back! 

So a close friend and a soulmate have deal breakers that I don't ever want to date them. It's a big deal, isn't it? I'm just happy I finally understand why I am not fond of hearing any opinions they have to say about me finding another girl to be with besides them. I practically don't care and am not interested while it annoys me a lot when they bring it up because I see it as a waste of time to talk about with them! 

I have been implying things in a kinder tone to my close friend about why I'm not into her. She can also be such a sensitive brat sometimes even though she says she's a nice person. I don't think so because she has some anger or anxiety issues that she can't always keep to herself. I honestly think that a nice person won't ever mention that he or she is a nice person to begin with. I just tell someone that I will be nice to them even though I've heard feedback from others that I am a nice guy in general. 

I'm going to have to tell my close friend that she shouldn't ever have to say she's a nice person because she doesn't need to and this isn't what a nice person really does. Others will already say it for her, if she's consistent enough with being nice. I think I know my stuff here because I was voted as the nicest guy in my elementary school. Also, I've had a coworker who works as a teacher tell me in person that I'm the nicest guy in the world. Even someone helping me find dates says that the ladies I dated told her that they think I'm a nice guy!

I think she might have some self-confidence issues from not always thinking straight due to her physical ailment. She says that it's not always good to be honest, but I think that's only because she could be wearing her heart on her sleeve and feels worried about regretting having said something later. This isn't really being honest then because it's not already the ideal truth she meant to point out. 

I'm actually very confident in myself now so I can debate up a storm if any disagreements happen when I'm being honest. It's pretty annoying that my close friend only wants to argue that I'm being rude to her by sounding demeaning, which is pointless. I think I have to be nice to her because pointing out that she's sensitive is going to still drive her crazy! I even told her that I want to work on being nice to her when she says stuff sometimes that I think deserves to be shot down. I think I'll have to tell her that the way she's acting sometimes isn't really nice at all.