Looks Don't Really Matter to Me Anymore

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. From asking my mom and a friend who happens to be physically attracted to me, they both have stated that my appearance is a 7 out of 10. I find that to be not bad since I personally rate myself as a 5 at my lowest point while averaging out to a 6 during my best years. 

From reading a book on attracting potential love prospects, it states that you should stick to someone who is no more than two grades higher or below you. I think I should try to stick to my base of 5 and not go above 7 to be on the safe side. A 10 will likely be too beautiful for me to handle.

Becoming Winning Trader

I'm really hunkering down on my trades lately and it's pretty uncanny that I put together a crypto trading system that might be very effective. I want to test out a few new ideas though, so I will be getting around to do that one of these days. 

It looks like using multiple timeframes is turning out to be my trump card. I'm still developing a useful technique for Forex, so it's pretty wild in that I'm still using some but it's still being accounted for with me making net profit. I can afford the small total loss at any given month now. 

Current Feelings About Finding a Girlfriend

As of this moment, I feel obligated to listen to my messed up dad. I think he has some form of autism because he can't let go of some insecurity that would make him happy. He's pretty much crossed the boundary and is never turning back on this one. I don't really care to disagree about anything with him, since I don't really want to be that close to him anyway. The only way I'm going to be able to do this is by becoming rich on my own terms. 

It's basically getting involved with interracial marriage. My dad will never budge from his unreasonable view. This is what I personally believe in that we are all part of the same species and only have different upbringings and skin tones. I am actually open to learning about these cultural differences and even producing beautiful offspring from it. 

I'm still not hesitant about marrying someone from my own ethnicity though. It's just that it would feel more free to have a choice and live outside of someone's roof who doesn't believe in something that is morally permissible, while I'm okay with it. I'm okay with saying that it's not his life, but my own and that he's being stupid about assuming how I would comply to any personally important demands based on how he sees it. He might as well just die ungratefully while living this imaginary nightmare he concocted from his childhood.  

I've been getting a good amount of interest from single moms out there, but I'm not interested in helping pick up any of their pieces. It's going to be too messy for me. It doesn't matter how lovely and fitting she is for me, but I'm just never going to budge out of this personal belief. The only exception I will make is if I end up becoming a parent to someone else and break up. It will hurt me a lot though, if it gets to this stage so I intend to keep on taking my time and marrying well. 

I would rather wait for happiness to arrive rather than making hasty compromises that don't align with my own personal belief. It doesn't matter to me how long it takes, nor even if I don't ever find anyone because I have learned to stay happy. Doing this is just an add-on for me. 

Laying Off Poker During Flexible Hours

Online Poker is definitely my goto game for entertainment whenever I have downtime and can get to it. However, I want to get better at managing my stress levels and being more clever about managing my time and constantly staying in a high state of happiness! 

I'm going to make reading and programming my next options of preferred choice after being done with my work. Fortunately, programming is also a main part of my job which I'm lucky to be doing. It's helped bring in some money that I can be relaxed about while feeling some purpose has been resolved for me. I'm ready to move on and do my own thing now but I want to play it safe and smart. Why rush if it's pretty good for me right now already. All of these things are just addons for me. 

At the very core of it all, I have my faith in Jesus and it's been like a rock that has kept me going while feeling so excited about living life! I'm ready to also find myself a good wife and possibly start a family while enjoying some riches and comfort of living. 

Ultimate Money Making System

It looks like I may have fine tuned myself a swing trading Forex system that could generate large sums. I could be looking at a very easy, early retirement right now. I don't know too much about this market to see if it's okay to share with others about my system. It would be more like bragging about how I'm the best and constantly bringing in steady profit despite some bumps that all traders inevitably have to suffer. It would be pretty cool for my own ego, but I honestly don't know how long it would last. I'm going to have to regrettably keep it under wraps the day I get this routine down until the day God allows something in the universe to help me see that it would be beneficial for me in the long run like maybe passing it down to a wonderful son or daughter!

I think cryptocurrency and stocks are something you can willingly share with others at any point in time. This is only because I have always been experiencing a sufficient amount of success from someone on the Internet having shared it with me. Forex is such a crazy and rare market to speculate in, but the earning potential is definitely huge while being able to manage leverage legally, which the idea of it will probably scare off most risk-taking investors! 

I'm trying to make Forex my biggest breadwinner but it's a highly risky niche at best to be a part of. I happened to have jumped on the bandwagon early in my trading years and developed a bonded relationship with this market, so I don't see any means of not continuing anymore until something forcibly shuts it off! 

Improving Upon Finding Potential Love Partners

I just finished reading upon the basics of how a person should treat his dating partner. From going out to have dinner with a buddy, I ended up practicing these moves on her while not really feeling moved into being in a relationship with her. I was just being kind and making an effort to understand that this is how dating is going to feel like and what to expect for the upcoming blind date I have scheduled. I'm going to continue practicing to get sharper on these skills with her. She seemed to love it, so I'm not going to tell her unless she notices something weird and unnatural about it and brings it up! 

Last night, I started reading into the more psychological aspects of the human mind with what they search for in a potential love partner. Without a doubt, I think a lot of people are superficial when it comes to looks because it is important to them. Some won't say anything about it to appear nice which I appreciate while with friends or try to downplay it, but deep inside our conscience it does affect who we fall in love with. 

I'm trying to make a stand against this natural instinct and not make decisions based on looks with anything related to love. One of the reasons is because as we get older, we are guaranteed to no longer look that good compared to the new, upcoming generation. I want to stay in a stable and happy relationship. I'm just like another normal human being in wanting what's best for myself and this is what I happen to believe nowadays. 

There are other factors with good looks- there's money, status, knowledge, and personality. The book does recommend to judge yourself or use people you trust to rate your overall appearance on a scale of 1-10. My mother gave me a 7 which isn't bad or could be from suspecting favorable bias. Another female friend who adores me thinks I may be above average but refused to give me a score. It's really about perception, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

I have a picture of the blind date I arranged to see. She looks really pretty and I personally rate her facial features as a 7.  I'm not really going to care if she looks overweight. I'm all past it now. I want to see if I can work out an intimate relationship with her that will lead to a lasting marriage. 

I personally believe your face is a very large representation of your attractiveness. I rate the girl I regularly hang out with as a 7. She's pretty lucky in that category from having already been born with it. The book recommends not going beyond two grades above your perceived ranking in appearance. At best, I believe I'm a 6 but only if I'm really on it with taking care of my face and going to the gym. If I leave it as it is, I become a 5.5 at best and about 5 at the worst. I might be able to literally get to at least a 6.5 though. I have experienced straight women who were my acquaintances sharing with me that I'm so good looking after grooming myself and working out. Their ranking to my perception ranges from 4 to 7. I had the looks category down back then but I wasn't doing enough right moves from lacking confidence to enter into any form of relationship with them. 

It's not just maintaining an average face from putting in all this hard work regularly and for life that counts now. I also need to showcase my other areas, which I have naturally been focusing on all this time. This book has really helped me out, since I'm not really spazzing out like a dimwit. I have the confidence I need and yes, I will say it, I overcame roughly 98% of my inferiority complex. 

Grinding It Out Properly

I think playing online Poker is a reminder to me of how it's not going to feel good that you just spent time on something that feels like all your energy was wasted. This is what I also worry about while conducting higher level things. It's the stress that I'm worried about and want to constantly avoid while making money doing something else that's less time consuming and more fun while less stressful. 

I'm going to accept that grinding is supposed to be a way of life for me. It's how it helped me go places while I was still growing as a person and pretty much closed off to things while undergoing so much shallow insecurities and putting in the effort to always be nice around everyone. 

For the most part, I'm considerably pretty well-liked. I realize that some friends who have gone astray with me are going through some form of autism, which is infuriating to deal with. In these situations, you just have to communicate in a detailed and sound manner. I'm capable of doing it, thanks to growing up with my annoying mother! 

I'm going to dedicate myself to learning to program and preparing myself in this field just to pass the time whenever I don't have enough distractions because it's just something I want to accept myself doing now. It's a feeling of stress that I always want to dominate with confidence and patience. On top of this, I want to keep on reading and make time for hanging out with open-minded people. I currently have a female buddy who hits me up. She's been getting better for me to be around because she was initially a fuss to deal with and I could have walked out on her but my stubbornness didn't let me. 

I think we shared a similar fate with one another, so maybe we could spark an intimate relationship some time down the road if it makes sense to but as of now, it's always conquering these lustful feelings and seeing for who she really is to me underneath everything- a true friend! Sometimes, I don't feel like hanging out with her but I just do it anyway because I want to give her company. She's been the one to ask me out most of the time; we're just buddies and it's going to stay that way for a long time, I think. 

What I Think

With all of these annoyances and necessary things I needed to do for myself to find comfort, yeah, a soulmate wasn't being that wonderful of a person to me for the past couple years. It was just all about her while being so impulsive. I think she is still prone to giving over to having mental lapses of temporary autism. 

It's like she has this image of being a cranky and washed up old lady to me. She kept on asking me why some things don't happen the way she wants them to. I believe the reason is because the fault really lies with her. I wasn't able to speak up and voice my opinions too well, but I'm glad that I did even if it was in the form of a very off putting joke that I loved spewing privately all over her just to get back at all the negative things I felt she said about me in person, when she could have never brought it up to begin with. She was such a mess and from bringing it up out of feeling indignant, I don't mind any misunderstanding or hostilities it can lead to. I am able to communicate and elaborate what I fully think in a stoic manner. 

Ready to Find Love

I have been doing some reading up on what a friend says is basic, but nonetheless it's helpful to me because it saves time from having to go out and acquire it with real world experience. In a sense, I think what I'm doing is better and also necessary since I'm now ready to find myself a fiancee. 

Finding love shouldn't really be a thing that's forced upon others nor really questioned if the person isn't ready for it. It's not something that needs to be addressed and what I believe is that, you don't need an erotic love partner to have fulfillment in this life. 

I think finding love is really something that happens on an individual basis and even if there's some insecurity or sadness, it's okay to leave alone. I believe it's something that needs to be settled by the individual, and it's not a problem to me if the person never gets there. 

For a friend to have constantly brought it up with me and not do anything about it for himself, it was really pestering me. I think he does have a form of autism from not being able to understand or try to relate to what I felt was wrong about him. He only ends up trying to change the topic.

Approaching Financial Independence

Personally, I'm happy to be living the life I have going now. It's to the best of my ability and what makes things so exciting for me is that I anticipate working hard to keep on making it better to reap so many benefits later. It doesn't matter when it's going to end for me because I have learned to always live with this mindset. 

I'm now open to marrying someone who can help me approach this goal faster. I think with the current potential love partner I will be meeting next week, I'm going to be trying to plant some seeds that will convince her that she's the right wife for me. I'm only looking to be close enough to the ideal husband she wants. I will be just my true self and see if I can work things out with her on our first, semi-blind date.

It's really helping that I'm preparing for all of this by reading a research-backed book about falling in love! I've been totally clueless this whole time and from reading it, I'm absorbing it like a sponge. Here's a basic acronym that I will share: SOFTEN- (s)mile, (o)penness, (f)orward, (t)ouch, (e)ye contact, and (n)od.  

Becoming Smarter

I'm finding out that I'm maintaining myself a lot better from taking the time to read thoroughly about something everyday. Currently, I'm reading a book on how to literally make anyone fall in love with you. Without looking at it first, I came to the conclusion that the one can really be anyone and even the person you least expected it from. It comes down to being at the right time and place of their life. 

When all things look like it's faring worse then just communicate while not being a jerk about it! To me, this just means being blunt while not getting lost in any angry thoughts which I will keep on labeling as temporary autism. 

Available With Finding Love

I want to work really smart and make a lot of money consistently. I'm now open to love before I turn rich, but she's going to have to be my ethnicity just because of my parent's influence. 

However, if I'm able to turn rich then I will ignore my parent's autistic view of marrying only my own ethnicity. I honestly don't care about interracial marriages anymore or even finding myself in one. 

For my next date with a girl of my ethnicity, I'm interested in trying to make things work with her. She's a potential love partner. For my other female friends, they are not part of my ethnicity but they also could become a potential love partner if certain things did line up. Technically, it could be with any lady if my minimum requirements are met. 

Looks don't matter anymore. It's more about attracting love from stimulating each other's brain or love conscience, which is the most important. 

Reading Good Books Lately

Something that's been good of late has been taking up some time every evening to read. This doesn't even count the good amount of time I usually take to read all of my emails thoroughly. It's starting to become enjoyable and helping out with making my brain function healthy. 

It's not so weird anymore and the thing I'm doing now is catching myself not paying attention to something and going back to reread something. This is actually very hard to do with lecturing. I think I just need to take good notes on it if I find my mind wandering off so I can just look back and see if I can make some sense out of it. 

My mind is capable of simplifying a lot of intractable information going through at once now. It's just the art of applying it that becomes the challenging part and something I would have to focus a lot of time on because it's the most important. 

Proper Goal Setting

The good thing is that I finally know what I really want to do. If it's not working at any given moment because I feel stuck with something, then I'm confident enough to just put it on autopilot that comes from my subconscious. It's like these reasonable thoughts can come from a blink of an eye!

The next thing to do is to every once in a while to think about if what I'm doing is reaching a goal. If it is, then I should feel good about it and continue. If not, then I have to ask myself what I need to change and then put it into action. 

Overall, this is pretty much the gist of how to be a self-managed one minute manager! 

Putting Self into Action

I have a lot of work to do still, but for the most part, I need to stay more accountable to myself and start putting in the time and effort to stay as efficient as possible.

In a nutshell, I just need to start committing myself to finishing work and finishing up my side routines quicker which is a privilege to be able to enjoy right now. If I get stuck on something, then I don't think it's a problem to keep on working at a decent solution and grinding away. This is just what I need to be doing for myself.

Goals for Today

Today, I just feel like making a lot of money from trading and investing. It's pretty much what I'm banking on for creating personal wealth as soon as possible.

I really want to try hard to do well at it, while not letting it distract me too much from getting my work done. Playing Texas Hold Em' is also another thing that I'm playing as well, just because it's fun to grind my time if I don't have anything else to do. I think I'll just leave it as a last resort then, plus it would be something that I'm working at to increase more earnings. 

Self-monitoring to Reach Goals

I'm starting to feel a lot less worried about getting stuck with having to finish some overwhelming task. What's also pretty cool is that I finally have a working game for playing online Poker. It seriously is an up and down game, but it's all about staying in it while doing all you can and then catching a profitable momentum before cashing out. The time needed and opponents being faced are always going to be different. It's really a game of patience and waiting your turn to receive some spare change headed your way. By optimizing your skills, you can also increase your earning potential! 

It's really got to the point that I don't care about how bad my looks are. I just see myself as being different and it's not something you really need to judge for yourself as being negative. Besides, I feel a lot of confidence now. 

I honestly think now that people like Crazy Lee, who were making themselves so difficult to get along with, might be dealing with some form of temporary autism. They really aren't making themselves aware of the situation and haven't been able to read my intentions too well. It has been that bad, but I don't care about them being that way anymore. I see them as having been irritating and mean, but still funny people. 

Figuring Things Out

Yesterday, I started reading a best seller called One Minute Manager. What I've learned from it so far is how all you really need to do is write down each major goal in 250 words or less so that it can be glanced at in a minute or less. 

Next, you give yourself a minute every once in a while throughout the day and ask yourself how you are doing and if the things you are doing is promoting on reaching your goal. If not, you then simply fix it by finding and applying the solution. That's pretty much it. 

I have been so distracted as of late at work from trying to make money off of my daily trading. It's something that I will be limiting as soon as I finally get it. 

Using Time Wisely

I have discovered enjoyment in reading a good book! I've finished a few books already this year and it's more than I have ever done any other year. I have noticed for myself that my mind tends to wander off while reading, so I have to go back and reread a section. What I have picked up on that's been useful for me is speed reading. 

It's not the greatest yet, but I can work with it and expect to keep on gradually getting better at it along with increasing my motivation and comprehension. It's great that I have books that I'm interested in reading and it's a line up waiting for me back home. 

I have a trip coming up where I'll be accompanying a friend who is moving to Texas. He wants a traveling buddy to switch off driving duties. I will be flying back home. I want to pack up most of my things tonight if possible. I don't think it should be that big of a deal though.

Something new that I've picked up on from reading a good book is that it's okay to make decisions in a split second with complicated things, so I will take it with finishing up tasks that just clutter up my mind. I'm also going by my intuition and being true to myself while socializing with friends, instead of worrying about what I will be saying. I'm not afraid of dealing with disagreements and discussing these issues in a plain manner. 

Making My Life Easier

I have switched over to a more sensible and relaxing trading approach, according to what I think works. Of course, it's always subject to changes but now since I've made this jump, I feel like I don't need to be constantly looking at it anymore. 

It feels like my free time is starting to open up again. With playing Poker, I feel that it's really about just hanging in there until you catch the right cards and have proper momentum come to you. I think you just set a target and then just go after it, while sometimes spending a considerable amount of time on a rinse and repeat cycle.