Discipline for me is pretty much suffering and dealing with everything in your personal life and trying to execute things as flawlessly as possible. I am starting to appreciate suffering for myself now. I don't like suffering, so I'm not a masochist but I'm seeing that it's necessary to succeed. To have great mental health and be suffering at the same time is a real challenge that I have been trying to master for practically my whole life.
I don't even like being with an evil mindset, which I probably tried at least once or twice. That also really bites another one's dust to be suffering and having this evil ideology which is just not healthy. I really lost a lot of coherence from not wanting to suffer at one point, but eventually life's tolls caused me to think about my best survival. The best survival tactic started with me accepting everything about myself and being honest. I used to have this strong mentality that would block out everything selfish about myself and not even pay attention to it. I was still depressed so I decided to become honest and it's been helping me out ever since.
I'm realizing that I really have to work for whatever I want and that there will be shortcomings. Whether people or concepts get in the way, it's all a part of my life. Whether I feel angry about it or not, I'm still living in the end and have to just learn to suffer and deal with it. A guy who was solely responsible for getting me fired said that he used to smoke in the middle of the desert and just continuously think. I think it's funny to note that while realizing that the field I was getting into wasn't really going to make me successful, so I don't really care in the end.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
