Going To Try Something Impossible

I'm going to try to forget about marrying an attractive woman around my age and whose just about smaller than me. I'm saying this while laughing because it's true that I do have these feelings of getting married. In other words, I'm going to try to not to worry about it anymore. I just want to live a very honest life now and put my trust in Jesus through the Word of God.

I don't really care if a person has a problem with me now because I'm going to get around to understanding her and still get along with her even if it's going to look a little forceful on my end. I'm not going to push her around or anything in the end. For me, I really lose my drive to have a grudge on someone by expressing myself in a confident, intelligent, and blunt manner. Most likely, it gets me thinking about how funny the person is with her motives to make me indirectly feel frustrated. It doesn't matter how stupid the person acts with me. I will get around to not caring about her annoyance anymore.

I'm pretty much becoming set because it's going to be a period where a person won't be able to do anything to me to make me jealous or feeling selfish about something now. For example, I don't worry about losing a job because of a jerk who wants to be on the last step of the ladder because I'm going to be a professional trader so that means if I do lose a conventional job, I don't have to worry because I have an innovative job and not care whose fault it is. Dude, if I can learn to respect silly people who place restraining orders on me then I think there's really nothing a person can do to get me from succeeding.

Well, I don't want to go out making someone so angry that he decides to kill me. I'd rather let that person laugh his way out of having any spitefulness with me. Celebrating in death because I wasn't the one to do it to myself? That's something to think about because I am a firm believer of heaven that the Bible describes.

So ultimately, the person who should matter the most is you because that's the way it should be. Yes, just that getting to know God fully is something that could also help you through your struggles in life like the girl Annie Tran over at Hope of God Church L.A. I have admitted to having regrets over fostering a physical attraction to her. That was some weird stuff that I went through, but yeah, I think I'm over it and I hear she's getting married. She did so much crying and got me feeling a little mad but now that I think about it, she might have had some unresolved things in her life that she wants to cope with by just crying about it with her honest expressions. There's nothing wrong over mourning with stuff and looks like we are just not compatible and that makes things really weird when you get those physical attraction feelings. I wasn't sure about it in the beginning but my thoughts sort of settled down. I would have done this anyway because it's my own natural thing to do wherever I'm at, so some of the silly people who thought it was great to force me to leave so that I would function better was far from the truth with getting to know me. I'm thinking about seriously going back to just foil their plans with anything bad by just being brutally honest with them. I'm not going to hold anything back and just be fully truthful which might really give them some shock and feelings of wanting to avoid doing something bad to me. I have a very normal life, so yeah, I'm all good for being super honest.