I've pretty much felt really worn out doing random jobs. It felt like just doing it for the money would be great because I have some money problems, which I'm trying to get out of just by working. I just lacked so much commitment and realized how hard it was for me to keep it up. I'm sure that there are some very bright people who would so good at what they do and that I just can't live up to their specialty now. I really appreciate those people for who they are, and they have my admiration and respect.
I figure that there are five occupations (yes, that's plenty) where I would willfully wake up for myself and commit with a lot of goodness and take in all the suffering that I would have to for a life-long permanent thing. I was just immature about not seeing results, which caused me to want to give up what I was really longing for. I now understand this value and willing to take another shot at it when opportunity rises again:
1. Teaching - I like the feeling of helping others out with teaching knowledge that's very hard to contain and really worthwhile. I'm just not really into giving factual information with mundane things though.
2. Medicine- I've always grown with the feeling of becoming Medicine Man and curing people of AIDS or cancer. For awhile, I just didn't want people to be encouraged to have more sex in a non-marriage setting or keep on smoking but I have compassion for these selfish individuals too. They would pour in the money, but it's not all about the money. I also dreaded the feelings of sticking thermometers up obese grandpa's butts.
3. Programming- I'm a die hard programmer. I can sit for twelve hours a day just coding until I get something to work. I remember all the nervousness and pressure I was surrounded by and I still committed myself to making it work. I started dreading this because I was worried about my health more than not succeeding. I was so caught up with distractions at the time because I felt so free for the first time in my life in college. I was so addicted to video games and yes, downloading dreadful porn. I'm still a little scared about going back to programming, but I'll see if I ever make it around to completing another project.
4. Internet- Ever since I was a teen, I've been just surfing the net. I felt like I was a step ahead of the world. Nowadays, I feel like more have caught up and miss the nostalgic days where I was the lone ranger doing cool stuff like hacking and ordering stuff with fake credit cards on the internet. It was wrongful of me to do it but funny to recall.
5. Engineer- I've always wanted to build cool things. I felt so depressed from not having any knowledge in building things. I feel the resources now and where they're at and I feel even more empowered to become a creative engineer again now
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
