I Have To Go Back

There really isn't any stake for me in going back and that I see it as them being a waste of time if they are going to the worst lengths like putting a restraining order on me because I'll put one back on them and let them know they are a waste of time to me. I feel like I will have a lot of satisfaction talking to them and being brutally honest with them, so whatever happens there's nothing really important going off and I'm letting go of any grudges that I'm feeling. I really don't care how some people see me anymore; I know that I want to work hard and donate money and continue to study God's Word.

I pretty much have to go back now to finish what they started and to spill out every honest comment with them. I'm pretty much going to sound really bad with them and looks like they might not be able to handle it and then want to put another restraining order on me. In this case, I'm going to let them know that I'll put a restraining order on them back because they are a waste of time. Anyone can put a restraining order on anybody they want to. Having full honesty and being upfront about it without holding anything back is pretty much my adopted procedure that's going to really be intentionally hurtful with them. In the beginning, they kept on hanging on to something they wanted to overshadow me with, and I couldn't get through to them. They are not going to see things pretty anyway because they want to be like the greatest critic with me and have a grudge with me, so I might as well be the most honest that I can be and act naturally from this honesty by letting them know. If it's super horrible which they are going to state then they are going to pretty much like have a run for their money because I'm going to make their lives miserable because they are not being able to let go of something. They stated they wanted to help me but went ballistic and couldn't handle themselves very well with me being around. Supposedly I heard that the half of them are in a relationship already, and I don't have any interest in pursuing after any one of them especially the boys. I told Julio that I would put my arms around the guys (Chris and Jarred) and let the beautiful little kids watch the spectacle. I also heard that they are going to Big Bear with Julio, which I'm really surprised to hear but I'm not feeling left out anymore and feeling this increasing amplitude of dissatisfaction with them that I just need to spill every honest word with them now.

I normally wouldn't do all that I'm stating because I didn't do it in the beginning, so this new method is going to sound very scary with them that they are not going to be able to anything now. Looks like in the end, I may actually gain everything and they will be losing something. Like if they go to a certain restaurant, I could always lead a group of friends to go where they are some other time, if I really like the place. If they go snowboarding, I could also go with another group of friends. If nobody would go and I want to go, I really have no problems with going by myself now. I don't really feel left out and this dissatisfaction I was feeling was not about that with them. It was because they started something that they couldn't finish and I was willing to change for them. Now, I'm going back to be fully honest to be with the greatest defense. The greatest defense is offense. They are going to get a full blast from me now and not be able to do anything; just watch and see because it will come someday for them. My friend asks me "What if there will be only like three of them left?" They are not going to be at full strength and when I approach the people who left if I see them at the church visiting once or twice, they may actually be shrugging their shoulders when they see me inflicting the others with honest and harsh words. If they don't and want to act ballistic by calling the cops, I will leave and do this honesty act multiple times and then if they put a restraining order on me, I'll put one back on them stating they are a waste of time. Before I do all this, I'm going to let them know this plan. This plan is going to inhibit them from doing anything to me and force them to think about how to treat others when a future bad time arises and that they are probably not going to see themselves as leaders in the period of time and just bystanders which makes things easier on everybody else, especially me.