Dude, Where's My Motivation?

I'm realizing that the sexual side of things for me can get really high up there- if I only had a willful wife. Okay, I hope that's understandable. It feels like the energy level could be abnormal, so not really human and way above it so I'm stuck in this body which is pretty small but I'm a guy so I'm happy to be a guy. I'm starting to write down stuff that I'm normally shy about sharing with other people because it feels like I'll be hitting a wrong topic. Since my writing is where if people want to argue with me, I can argue back and use writing techniques to get them to be like "Whatever" in the end or to leave me be. I'm laughing about some things I'm putting down in writing lately now.

I need to find that motivation- that scope of energy that will keep me up when I need to and that it would be something that would will me to want to get up really diligently in the morning and get to it. I need to foster that passion and commitment once again and to face adversity without becoming a baby about it.

Writing this blog is not really about me setting my mind to breaking any records. It's just a personal blog where I'm publishing everything going on in my head. All the desires that I need to label are in here, so this would qualify as being my own personal originality with the use of the English language. I've always thought about becoming more fluent with my Korean too, which I have a pretty okay foundation, so I can carry a very basic conversation with my parents in Korean and comprehend some of the things they mention. I ask a lot about what certain words mean too.

I'm understanding that I have this digression that builds upon itself. If there's something intentionally left out, then it can be confusing to readers if they are trying to learn something from it. It's pretty rude and dismembering to make it like a practice, so I should not really be aiming for that. I'm becoming more coherent which I used to be paranoid about being which is because I was just plain weird, but now from being understanding to the very least and being able to communicate honestly and fully, I have some pretty decent friends to get to know and appreciate. I'm only getting to the point of improving. Some part of me still feels a little retarded but I hope to find that cure as time moves on and I keep realizing stuff by putting it on this blog.

I just hope I never fall into the wrong hands and just avoid that in general and still get to do the things that I want.