Happy New Years Eve And Happy Happy

Happy Happy Happy, joyful, joy, shout again to happy happy joy joy, make a joyful noise, make a wonderful happy happy joyful joy to the world that you are just happy. Happy New Years! Hope you all open a nice bottle of champagne and enjoy the flavorful contents of it- I think some people understand my contents. I'm pretty much going to do the best I can right now to make it work the next year. I'm just going to probably be mean to that one group that I've been talking about the next year after. I think I'm going to be pretty much like getting what I need from that group by making them think they are supposed to be good people and out of fear of being exposed, they are going to do what I want them to do. And then I have what I need and don't have to care anymore and leave happy and joyful and willing to shout out a loud to make a joyful noise.

Hope the new year is wonderful for everybody, except for the group I'm going to be mean to.

2

Number 2, I think people know what it means to get the number 2. Number 2 gets to back up Number 1. Number 1 goes down and then Number 2 has to pick up the slack. However, number 2 is never really the leader of anything. You see, even Captain Pickard or Star Trek named his number 2 commander, "Number 1". We see in that one movie- what is it? Austin Powers where Dr. Evil's Number 2 was complaining about never leading at anything.

3

This is the number threeee! I'm getting very inconsistent with my grammar because I'm just being very lazy right now. I'm actually just writing anything. I'm not about to be inconsistent in my language choice. I could probably confuse some by starting to write in another language - por pavor. I don't know how to spell that word right now. I think I'm just trying to blaze through this blogging sensation that I have going for myself. I am talking out loud very slowly while I compose these sentences. I feel like a baby whose reading my own blog right now.

4

Oh man, I want to skip 4. I just want to go do my thing. I want to let this thing for the whole year. Man, I feel so glued to my chair. I'm complaining right now about doing this. This is so inconsiderate because I'm not spending my time on other things that I should be doing. This is taking awhile, this is taking so long. I really need to get out more. I think I've been coming home the next day for quite some time. I'm outside and then when I'm coming home, it feels like the morning has already begun sometimes.

5

Oh boy, it's 5 and I hope that I will dodge more bullets coming from the Enemy. I don't want to deal with big problems. I have so many small problems and I'm so happy I can manage them now. I don't want to go off and just get lost in a huge problem. I think all my problems just put together just make like an infinite amount of small problems that I can cope and fix. I'm actually thinking that my problems are solved by having feelings of not caring sometimes. It makes it easier to work at things more swiftly at times.

6

Six is considered to be not a very sacred number. It's considered to represent the devil if you add it by 660. I'm not going to put down the demonic number right now but I can state that in a game of poker I had a set of 6s before to make my hand and win very big. Therefore, I don't know if I can state that the devil was working for me during that hand.

Unlucky number 7

I think some people think 7 is a very lucky number. Unfortunately, it's not. Happy New Years and hope everybody makes a great resolution.

8

Eight is a decent number. The eighth birthday is coming for my baby cousin Kevin. Oh my, Kevin is really big for his age. I thought he was about two grades higher which would make him in the second grade right now. When I was a second grader, I thought my age would never end. I thought I was going to be stuck at school for eternity. Therefore, I stopped doing my homework sometimes and just go out play. Afterwards, I would feel bad for not doing my homework. It's great that the homework assigned only took me about a couple hours at most.

9

I'm just going to finish out the year by using numbers for my title. I'm just being really fast and random here. I just don't know what I'm saying because I'm typing so fast without thinking. Yes, I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome or whatever that arthritis type of condition it is. I'm going to rest my wrists and put it on the neutral position. I was at the doctor's office yesterday and read that you can put your wrists on extension or contraction and it looked really funny. I think I walked around with extended wrists before and acted like I was a zombie. My little sister probably just saw me with her bloodshot eyes and ignored me.

10 More Posts

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ... I'm ready to get out of here. I'm ready to go use the bathroom because I need to really unload some food I had at three in the morning. I already shaved and I have pretty decent warm clothes on. I'm also driving somewhere to pick up my buddies and we're going to party and not drink and kill  ourselves.

11 More Posts To Go

Man, I'm typing so little. I'm only typing a few sentences right now and it's equating to very little paragraphs that I'm posting today. Hey, this is a loose ended, conservative blog. The only thing that I'm trying to control here is my use of language because I want to make this site G-rated. I think I can still laugh even though I can't share some inappropriate things to the world. I can probably hint at it in an adult way and then start laughing pretty hard about it to myself.

Quck Post Counting Backwards from 12

It's almost there. The famous countdown from 10. I'm doing it on this blog just that it's not really 10 seconds. It's going to be ten posts. I'm just typing random again and it's going to take me a little while to finish this but I'm going to get this thing done.

Lucky Number 13

I was told that I was lucky number 13 because I fell asleep at a safety meeting at a military installation. The thing was about driving safely and not being under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It showed some gruesome police photos. There was a really pretty F.B.I. agent or something like that who attended and started talking about how I would have to see her if I got in trouble. With a million dollars, I think people would try just about the weirdest things. However, soldiers don't get paid that much. That being said, most of them want to good little boys and girls and serve their country. No, they want to be the strongest, disciplined fighting force in the world and be very cooperative with one another and really function at making a good purpose.

Countdown to 0

I'm at #14 now. Okay, I think I can sound like Chewbacca. I know anybody can, especially the guys and some girls if they tried. I think if they made the Chewbacca cry then others would sort of want to laugh after identifying what it is. So let's out a Chewbaaca cry. I'm going to do it right now while I type this sentence. Grrraaaawwwhhhh, it's like Homer's growl when he wants to do a playful assault on Marge. Note, I'm trying to keep this thing G rated still maybe some people will smack their foreheads.

15 More Posts

Yes, I'm closing in now. It's like doing the countdown to the New Years. I'm not typing that much right now because I don't have that much time. I'm pretty much rephrasing everything that's going on. I think I'm just going to type really random stuff and hopefully some of the things I come up with will make me laugh.

Happy New Years Eve Everybody

Happy New Years Eve, everybody! I don't really have much else to put. Hope everybody has a Happy New Years. I wonder if someone is going to be smooching. I know where I could go to get some smooching too, but I guess I will celebrate a little cleanly today.

Almost Really Finished

I'm feeling pretty good man. I'm feeling good about closing out the year. I have to go somewhere really fast. I don't like how I'm really dedicated to this blog with having to average a post one per day. I was gone for about two months so I had a lot of catching up to do which wasn't really fun. It was more like work but I'm not getting paid for this. I guess I can call this charity work.

Almost Finished

I'm going to have to do this really fast because I don't really have that much time. I'm going to pretty much make this what I said I would do. I'm going to see the stuff I come up with and then finish out the year. It's going to be not much because I don't really have that much to write about.

19 More Posts

Oh how I wish I was 19. I would do something about some things that I should have done. I would pretty much make life more happier for everybody else. I would take some sort of risk in the right direction and end up successful. It would be a risk then but then fast forward to today- it was a wise investment. Maybe, the things that happen in life are meant to occur and bring down people you know.

After making a reflection, it's an okay time to think about something sad. It's okay to let it linger for awhile. It's good to reflect on emotions all the time, but when it's time for chowing down on food- man, it's time to eat like an instinctual animal. Chowing down on that food really fast and then leaving the table makes my mom go like "What the freak?"

Okay, it's reflection time- putting a sad frown on my face. I just feel sad, but empty. There's something I'm missing in my life. I want to bring down that group- I don't care if they turn into killers and shoot themselves. I'm not going to assist them in anything, so maybe they'll just scream and slap each other a few times and then run out the door and come back the next day and repeat the process all over again.

Doing The Weird Smart Thing

I'm so good at it. Period. I'm at least okay at being smart in doing some weird things to people. I have made a judge laugh so hard before, I think. It's either a dream state or it really happened. I just don't recall so much. I think I was so worried about being in trouble but then it ends up with me catching a break because maybe my face was so concerned about stuff that during the stress, I managed to catch enough things about myself to end up with a satisfactory appraisal.

Or maybe, I just worried so much and show it that people just don't pay attention to me and I'm like there in existence as some sort of mythical creature to them. It talks- me. It eats- so much that I forgot what he had. I'm trying to talk like a third person and reflect on myself. Really weird I know.

What Is An Inferiority Complex?

I have a question- I don't know if I have the symptoms of an inferiority complex. Just because I'm asking, does it mean that I might not? The reason for me laughing at my own insanity and craziness and resorting to how people feel about it- does that mean I'm aware of having this complexity and still engage in it like a fool? I sure hope not.

I guess I have the minimum prerequisites for this complexity. Yes, it's like taking a college class for me- I'm trying to dissect it down into something palatable for my soul. Oh well. I didn't mean to be born with this acute sense of how things might be going good and bad sometimes. I just had to get rid of the haunting spirits like the one found in The Christmas Carol. Man, those ghoulish creatures were so haunting and moaning the whole time. Hey, at least they were not bad as Scrooge was when he was a miser. It's because I think it's easier for people to know a Scrooge in their life- like that little kid who wants to keep his power ranger toy and not share it. Hmm, I wonder what toy Chris Kuch enjoyed and wanted to be stingy about.

What's about with me being lame with Chris Kuch? Is it about me wanting to do some hanging with Chris Kuch? I'm sure he would be enthusiastic about seeing my face even though I feel like I would project it a thousand times more. Chris might want to say, "Yeah, multiply zero times one thousand." Okay, then I say that it's a possibility but logically speaking, I'm enthusiastic so his pipe dream has to be over.

22 Now, Patience Is Virtue

Patience is the key to success. I have a lot of patience now in addition to not really caring about some things. It's all about hard work man. It's all pleasing the soul and heart and worshiping the goodness that is provided in nature. As cheesy as that sounds, it's good to laugh out loud a little. A few times I bought some gifts that I thought were funny for some girls and they ended up thinking it was very cute.

I need to be very careful with that discernment however. I shouldn't really pick on anybody. I guess gifts are a different field where people get to be all bubbly and playful. When I smile about something and start laughing then I guess it's initially a big worry.

Man, those people in that group are really in for it. The thing is that I have time frame where I need to wait another year. I'm a year ahead of schedule. That means I get a whole year to plan very hard and come up with unexpected and useful things to knock them off their shoes. They're probably like "Oh great!" I'm really happy for them because I'm feeling a lot of enthusiasm on my side.

23 More Posts To Go

23 is a lucky number for some people- it's the lucky number that made my good friend win some money at a roulette table. For some people, it represents six championships and could have been more if the player didn't take a break. He says the best team in history is the team he played on- that is a lot of confidence he has in that team especially because it seems like he did most of the scoring and allowed everybody else to slack off a little. It's a small joke I recall from my childhood memories so don't take my words for it.

I don't recall the things I said today that made my little sister laugh. She just called me inconsiderate a couple times and that raised up a red flag to me. She told me to sit somewhere else but she does do a lot of talking these days- she even thought she could teach me how to do math better. I thought the accepted stereotype is that guys are better at math than girls in general. I guess that could be true because guys like to get serious with money so that requires crunching some numbers to figure out logically how to be breadwinners.

She didn't laugh at my cheesy lecture of how to do binary math. I told her that it was for geeks but would make anyone think "Duhhh!" Even if I can't get there and I do it half-minded or half-baked, I'm still going to get there whether people don't like it or not. Because that's when I'm the most nervous sometimes and not aware of how people see me and then they just go "Okay, wow" and just act all stunned. Maybe, it's my facial expression and their expectation of me to be a certain way but I just amaze them with where I'm taking something so they can't even see me in their gossip pool anymore.

That's what I'm pretty good at doing and I'm going to accomplish it. So the people who are affiliated and reading with that group, I'm going to accomplish something that I've always done in the past. This time, I have a strong tool which is not needing to ever raise my voice or be angry and literally make fun of the other person. In addition, I can provide thoughts that would seem like advice but in actuality, it would make them feel so ticked off that they would act like they can't see me around them.

Bashing Thought Processes

I'm so good at being aware of this whole people being naughty towards me that I don't really have to yell to get my point across now. I might feel a little bothered by some things I listen to, but I'm laughing at the same time with those things too. After all, people are going to have to learn anyway to go somewhere in life. After all, jerks are people with feelings too and they fall big and get laughed at. I might think someone is the biggest jerk and be laughing all day about it like Chris Kuch. I just put down a name- he's a Texan bonehead. I don't think he would make Texas proud from what he did. Maybe his wife would even laugh a little too. Hey, love is strong! The thing that is funny is that it's him in a bad way.

I'm so used to bad things happening to me in these little things now. Man, I don't want to deal with the bigger side of things. I want to stay bothered with these little things- I just feel so comfortable being able to manage them now. Just not caring so much about some things doesn't mean that I'm always going to be a cow that walks into the slaughterhouse to get chopped up.

Man it's late. I don't know with what I'm saying, but it's getting me to chuckle quite a bit. I actually can transfer some of this to my smaller sibling who used to be like an annoying rival to me. I realize that when people ask me if I have a girlfriend or family to take care of, it's because they literally think the possibility of me having one. It's not just that they want to mock me or make fun of my short height. I've felt so defensive about my physical height, but it's gradually becoming less of a worry and when a tall lady smiles toward my direction, I don't feel so weird about it anymore.

How Long Am I Going To Stay Up

Honestly, I don't really know how long I'm going to stay up. I've found something that I could keep occupied with and it's doing this pretty intelligent activity. I don't know who wants to come on this blog and read my stuff. I don't know for what reasons, but just to guess it's probably because people want to see me blow up and laugh at the comedy I come up with or just try to keep up with what I'm about to do because they're so worried I'm going to hurt their cause.

I've always seen it as, I have some deficiencies. Well, for once, I'm really short. I'm glad some of the other young soldiers were able to spot that right away and actually give me special treatment because of it. Like, I don't really have to do extra physical effort to lift stuff- just have to move fast and get aligned with the program. This is what is done in a team and a mission.

In a way, I sometimes feel like it sucks to be short but then again, I'm learning to embrace it a lot more now. It was uncomfortable for me and sometimes bugs me a little, but the feeling is going away for me. Maybe, I bought into a new theme of a Napoleon complex. It requires me to do absolutely no yelling and just talk. The talk can be so bothersome that people will accuse me of having something like that. Yet, I'm so confident at the same time that I could act like a legitimate tall person whose also a jerk.

Whether height matters or not, the issue has to be the heart. For some reason, because height matters to me- I sort of want to discriminate against taller woman to be honest. Maybe, I might feel a little pain if the woman is attractive but then again I'm like "What the heck, it doesn't matter" when I'm in that situation. I view myself standing next to her and play around with the image of how we might look on the outside- by judging at a superficial level, I haven't found anyone I have liked so far. Actually, I thought maybe a few seemed right to me but they were already married. It's a little easier to compare when she's standing next to an actual guy.

Oh Man, What A Drag

I wish I could steal my little sister's Galaxy Tab and go online and just type something on this blog. It would have charged me something. My little sister might have asked me for an arm and a leg. I was the money provider throughout the vacation. I don't know- walking around fully loaded in cash might not always seem like a good idea. I'm like an ATM for loved ones then. I see what it would mean being a dad to like female triplets. Growing up with them, I could imagine the pains of listening to them just talk, talk, and talk about things - details that I never really wanted to think about.

Don't mind my bantering now of people and calling out people's names and making fun of them to pass a little time. The one thing I need to be careful of is how I present the truth. What I said in the past was honest, but I held back the Stone Cold Stunners because I wanted to be nice. It didn't get them to cooperate, so I got to see the selfish ambitions of some people. I already know how to control them; I knew it long before they did and I could have slaughtered them.

The reason why I didn't was because my heart was just sick and tired of doing it as a routine and not receiving the attention I was craving. Yes, I wanted to be talked to. They talked alright, in a really mean way but I got to listen to them talk and I had a thick skin underneath. If I have a thick skin, why am I writing about it and still going at it. I'm like an energizer battery- I just keep going once I start something until the mission is completed like a soldier's will.

Life isn't that bad- I seriously don't mind being laughed at for anything. I don't mind being yelled at about anything. I don't even mind people trying to force me to do stuff for them. I just don't really care about it. I love people- some I love to death way more than others. I'm just so aware of my surroundings because my eyes have been opened. I want to shout with tears of joy right now. I'm just so rejoiced about everything, and I'm giving this all credit to Jesus who reigns in heaven. I'm sure if I said some blessings, some people would shut up and not think like it; that's how big I'm aware of people's thoughts. I just know that I have to be humble because I can discern how a person is going to behave and not be afraid about it anymore. I'm a soldier whose completing a mission, and I'm not stopping for anybody in my path to serve the Lord I have chosen.

Fully Alert And Ready

I'm so glad that I'm so conscious about my behaviors. I can see that I can open any door I want eventually and receive the form I intended. I would be doing a lot of bugging but I would at least get the person to say that I can get along with him and wish it were so with anything certain and accommodate me in that manner. I can do this with anybody now. I just wish and hope and pray that I don't get led to anybody whose really a bad person at heart now.

It really doesn't matter what they did, and it doesn't really matter what I did. I just know that I can keep up now and literally kill the competition. My prayers are to also hope that the people I affect don't get super damaged by me because I'm going to go full out on a social onslaught. I know exactly the angles I need to attack to bring down social barriers and walls.

I know I'm smart in this area which is probably going to be a headache for everybody else who wants to be against me. I'm so confident and understand what's going on. I'm so excited and thrilled with what this means to me now. Man, I need to work out. I'm so conscious about it that I know I need to work out.

Earnings I've Made

From maintaining this website, in a matter of 3 years, I've earned fifty cents. It's better than the expected two cents I was originally counting on. I guess I can just state this website doesn't really cost anybody anything so that is a win-win situation for everyone.

If I were to treat exercising like a paycheck, then I can make an analogy that I earned more dollars in my wages in comparison to amount of push ups I've done. If I make the analogy of doing push ups as making dollars, from making $25 I'm now at $46. It's not bad, considering that I increased by three repetitions after coming back for vacation. I guess I got a little stronger which isn't that bad. I think some people would be like hoping that I stop doing push ups or claim that what I'm doing is very scary to them.

However, my push up count really sucks much like possibly their amount. In the U.S. Army, there is no number of push ups that will make you stand out as the ultimate athlete, except if the athlete is female. This one female athlete in the army can do at least 100 masculine push-ups in two minutes which is insane! For all the other males, it doesn't matter what number they reach- they are still close to being a turd in basic training. Even the narcissist with a kiddie brain I spoke to started measuring up to the fact that he would have to respect a female drill sergeant- nothing like threatening he won't get paid does the job. In fact, he started adding in how he would impress them after telling him that they don't care about him and nothing would make those drill sergeants get involved in some sort of scandal with him.

How I Have To Keep Clean and In Shape

It's really important for me to stay clean, healthy, and fit. If I don't, then my body is really going to suffer especially with the place I'm going to in the next week-in-a-half. I really need to get back into it because it's not really a lot of time. I have something that I need to work on to improve my efficiency in staying awake. I guess I'm going to do this and make myself used to it while engaging in some low-level intensity stuff because it's really going to put me to ultimate test in having to stay awake.

Just making my bed right now, it actually makes my mind feel good. I think it's just something I'm used to seeing back in my army camp. I think I'm going to brush my teeth now. Okay, I need to keep typing random stuff on here; despite it being Christmas, I feel like going out to work out.

Planning Boring Stuff Again

From being part of the military, I've learned that every single thing I do has a purpose to accomplishing something. Whether it be me being punished for being a bad solider or not, I'm still aiming at reaching the prize which is completing the mission. I've made some mistakes and been punished for them in the first week of my training, and I guess the saying goes that it's normal. I want to really be a good soldier so I'm going to be sacrificing quite a bit while being a part-time soldier because I'm part of the U.S. Reserves. It's actually a little joke because I'm not a full-time soldier where I'm active and stationed somewhere in the middle of the U.S. on a desert. I'm actually going to be stationed pretty close to my home, which is convenient.

I shouldn't screw this up, so I'm going to get myself a second job. I wonder if people get the little inside joke that I am alluding to. By being part time, I only work during the most odd-ball hours which is just one Saturday and one Sunday for the whole month. I get a pay check for just working two days; man, I signed up for it. I'm going to get another job in the civilian world which is allowable in the Military Code of Justice.

Boring Stuff I Need To Go Over

During the holidays, I guess some people like to wake up, have breakfast, and go get their life over with. I can't say that I'm not one of those types of people. A few things I should be watching out for is to make sure that I haven't lost my normal routine because if I mess myself up, then I'm going to have a hard time again. I need to make sure that I'm still living this maintainable life without screwing up anything. I guess I just need to place energy and get used to this whole freedom and going somewhere I'm supposed to be placing myself in destiny.

I'm going to try waking myself up during the middle of the night and stay up for an hour because that's what I did in training. I'm also going to wake up a little earlier and work on managing my sleepiness. If I have a lot low-level intensity activities that I need to work on and if I stay awake to all of those, then I guess I won't have any problems staying awake when the drill sergeants push my sorry self and make me run around and do a lot of crazy stuff for them.

Laughing at a Good Point

It's really quite easy for me to want to feel frustrated and blame it on others. What if I resonated with this Napoleon complex because I am short indefinitely and caused others to live miserably while I worked so hard to prove a point against them and actually succeeded. Well, for once, no matter how good of an advice or idea I would come up with, people wouldn't want to listen to me because they would just feel so baffled by how I obtain that kind of knowledge. They would probably want to laugh at my shortcomings as well underneath and not spend so much time criticizing my behavior at the same time. After all, if I'm working so hard and driven to surpass them and at the same time I do stuff to push their buttons to ensure everything gets put in order then they're probably going to see it's my personality and accept it.

Therefore, that whole paragraph should mean that it doesn't matter how small or short a person is. It doesn't really matter if people want to marry tall people and just pronounce it to this whole world. I do have some confidence in that at least I carry average appearance or maybe a little better so I'm not bothered. I'm just short and if I just proved that being short doesn't matter then I guess I don't care if others look at me as a baby now for being so small to them. I don't feel offended at all about it anymore and don't even care if it affects me from getting a position. If a company takes a tall person who can't get his ABC's right and I'm right there besides him, what's the point of really caring for some status that is only going to be short-lived anyway.

It's really all about obtaining what we desire, right? If the heart is so set upon getting to its destination and we're doing everything right then what's there to really self-doubt. There's really no need to be frustrated, and we get to stay strong. This type of confidence can't be obtained just from seeking a person's outer appearance- it's something that develops over time and can be found in anybody. I've even heard of tall-loving people falling for a small person or dwarf, so it's actually not that big of a deal. There are bigger worries in life, then just looking at a person's size- we're not cannibalistic, meat cutters so why care how much weight they carry around.

Temperature Dropping, Hands Shivering

The weather has been a little unusual for me. Being in the south-east coast of the United States, I was expecting it to snow and be freezing below 0 degrees Celsius. I did get to feel that type of weather in my one-man Army tent. It was very cold, and it wouldn't matter how much extra layers of clothes I put on; sleeping in that weather was not very fun at all for me. The only difference is that it was cold, but I never got to see snow. It did rain and my boots felt like they would freeze. I now see how having dry clothes and a good pair of boots actually helps. It's also important to keep them from getting wet- in war scenarios, keeping dry would be a challenging task in the snow but ensure survival.

I guess the Army is a place where everything moves along and can't afford too many distractions. In the civilian word, I would understand about some issues the soldiers have but when I'm in that uniform functioning as part of a team, I seem to get really annoyed about listening to them. I just want some common functionality and efficiency of tasks to take place; I can see how I would be really intense and not accepting of hearing some complaints from soldiers.

The Army is like a world of entering commitments and fully engaging the self to complete a mission. The soldier I was annoyed by was a complaining woman, but I didn't see her as a normal woman at the time. Since I'm on break, I'm just capable of alluding back to it. She just kept on complaining on how things were so hard and how the weather was too freezing for her. I think she really lost in touch with completing the mission we were called upon to do in Basic Combat Training. In reality, she is pretty normal and a normal person will be able to sympathize with her but she was not a normal soldier because I would really want her to be an efficient team member who would be able to look for me too.

I was really into the training- it was about executing everything perfectly and paying painstakingly close to every detail I did. I wanted smooth execution and to be fast at everything I did. Changing into combat uniforms from regular pajamas is not really easy to do rapidly, the best I've done is only ten minutes. I think the only time I really did change my clothes was when other battle buddies brought up that my uniform looked dirty or smelled. I would then change the next time and make myself clean again while doing laundry. Everything I did was about self-maintenance, the kind that would drive a decent housewife madly in love with you.

If the Lord Be Willing

If the Lord be willing, may the people I care about and those who have come to that stage of sorrowful enlightenment which makes them turn towards Him, never fall again! I just know that if our hearts are in the right direction then most likely, it's a reflection of how we were made to do beautiful things no matter how misled we were or bad lifestyle we concocted for ourselves. The beauty in Christianity is believers acknowledging the truth about their personal state and being filled with something new, peaceful, and joyful to carry out living a guilt-free life from knowing they are no longer in a sinful bondage and have obtained salvation through placing their faith in Christ. It really causes some to feel jealous or still scorn them- like Christians are a bunch of some goody-two shoes or hypocrites.

The heart of the matter is that it's a choice for anybody to really accept it in his heart. The spirit of Christ won't force its way into anybody's heart but lie in wait for anyone willing to seek his guidance. Maybe this doesn't make sense because to some people religion is dead! Pretty much, I have come to accept that despite the Bible being so hard to understand at some parts- there are those givens that really fill the heart with gladness and inspire believers to live a good, purposeful life after having fallen. It is the right of Man to practice any religion he wants; why should some religions be so belligerent about it and obtain death decrees on some motivated Christians? It just seems a little awkward that people give into those weaknesses sometimes and form a mob on someone whose just trying to project good. Maybe, the Bible is right about the prince of this world being the devil who tries to lure people away from the truth by using clever devises and staying hidden. In a spiritual warfare, mature believers say that it's prayer that defeats Satan's forces.

Merry Christmas

I'm really grateful for the people who are alive and reading this beautiful website. I'm still saying nice stuff about it even though I'm probably going to bag on it later. I hope all of the people are doing really well and have something really good for them right now. I hope they're all happy and well loved in this unstable, economic times. I realize that people sometimes have trouble communicating what they're feeling when they feel frustrated or angry; with this nasty period the country has been through, it's not too hard for anyone to relate. There are so many events that has happened and from the job market being one of them that laid off workers who don't want to retire yet or still need the money, I guess sympathizing with others probably isn't that hard to do.

In a time of economic crisis, having a heart that's just filled with self-confidence and reassurance is a luxury to live by. I'm starting to realize that just about anyone can obtain what their desires are in life, regardless of age, income status, or education level. It's just that some decisions we made sometimes hold us back, or maybe they're something we want to ignore and not care about because the world is just too hard to be a part of. I know a guy whose a narcissist, very annoying, dumb, and foolish. He's probably reaching 30 in a couple years and he still spends his time playing video games and talking about how great he is at it while I watch him getting man-handled by the A.I. he plays against.

I guess some people like him just don't want to function at a high standard because he's tried so hard and given up. He wants to be sucked into some dark form of living because he feels it's necessary to survive. He does however have a conscience that doesn't want to screw up and look bad on himself; he spends his time mocking dumb behaviors so he wouldn't get engaged in it himself. From the choices he has made, he isn't really getting anymore and if he's heart has been set on something misleading which already appears, he can't really be of much use to anybody so I should just turn him over and see where he'll end up later. He seems to respect me a lot more because of the personal choices I made for myself- he can't really make fun of me anymore.

Happy Christmas Eve

Happy Christmas Eve everybody, and I hope all is well for the people who actually have read some stuff on this lame website. I can't see that it's boring for me anymore. Well, maybe I will in the next couple days I come to view this site and type some more repeated nonsense. It's been a lot of close calls for me; well, not really. I'm just trying to get by to the best of my ability and by just putting my focus into something and not losing heart at it, I'm actually getting somewhere.

I've read some funny material related to life which has kept me going during this holiday season. I guess it's good to have a nice laugh and not take something too seriously whereas others might want to. I think it's just good to look for the right things in life and just prepare for it with the right mentality and heart. It's like putting your best foot forward in going in for a job interview. Man, I've reeked at job interviews except for those company that don't care if you can't alphabetize from A to Z.

Actually, those companies that do pay people to do something for them and takes them out of the blue is actually better than nothing in this economy. Furthermore, I believe that many people disqualify themselves from even getting that type of opportunity for themselves. I pretty much had to do what I did because I needed the money and it was something that just had the right opportunity for me. Actually, I haven't really been put down for taking this decision from anyone. I might even leave some people speechless, but then again, I'm really deciding not to really be around them around because I entirely disagree with them in certain issues that really matter. It's not that I can't get along with them- I just don't think dealing with them would be in the best interests for both of us now.

Lalalalala

Okay, I'm really feeling like I'm losing it from having to write on here with only 48 hours left until Christmas. I just feel like I'm crunched with all my time and feeling like I'm pressured to buy these precious gifts and ensure that some people are doing okay- I think this is how I might say I feel like most of the time. It sort of makes you look good to be concerned about someone else besides yourself, family, or kids.

Indeed, it looks good to be not a brat in general but some people just seem to care like me anymore. I don't really overreact to people yelling at me anymore. I'm not going to tell them to stop yelling at me or feel like crying about it underneath anymore. If I made a mistake, then I admit it and try to move on if they won't let me fix it. More often than not, they force me to do something about it which is a bummer. I don't get to relax when it happens; I guess being a man, it might be interesting to get requests bombarded with me.

Writing Mania

Man, this is getting pretty swell. I wish you a Merry Christmas. I wish you a Merry Christmas. Good tidings for you and for all of your kin. I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Feliz Navidad! Did you know that Feliz Navidad is a song that was supposed to originally be fully in Spanish? When the song was going to be aired awhile back in the states, there was a really conservative crowd who only wanted to hear music created by other white folk. That's why the song has some English in it- it's still a catchy tune after all these years and has caught on.

I guess I'm losing a little focus talking about Christmas now. I haven't really done any Christmas shopping. I asked if my sister needed anything, and she really didn't say. Maybe I'll get her a cheesy Ipod or something like that tomorrow for laughs. I know she wants that Ipad really badly; I guess I can look into it too. I think I really need to save up a little more before I can buy her a new BMW!

Finally Something Like A Peaceful Shrink

Pretty much, I imagine myself typing away and submitting these posts straight through a blank wall in a figurative sense. It's not much listening I'm receiving but nonetheless, I'm getting a good thrill of typing on here. Or maybe, not really. I can pretty much talk about the same thing and reword like I've been doing for the past posts. Actually, one or two of those posts might be pretty good and very original. I even surprise myself how much truth it may capture and really create some phenomena with.

I remember how I used to type word for word and go back and catch my grammar errors, if I had any of those skills back in those days. I just remember typing with personification that came out of a nut job because I was incoherent and caused some heads to spin. Man, I sacrificed my grade point average because of that- it was like a bad addiction I couldn't get out of. Nowadays, I'm learning to get out of nasty habits so let's see if I progress later.

Oh Boy, Busting and Loading

I just came back from running an hour ago. I wasn't really sweating that much in my black T-shirt and black shorts. My black T-shirt says, "I love New York!" It's just a cool work out shirt- I don't really have any emotional ties to New York; I just know my little sister was thoughtful enough to buy me a shirt that fits. As I walked in and my little sister told me that I had some post cards from the military, I made a phone call and acknowledged to her that I was in trouble.

She started laughing and then I said that I just needed to do some drug testing. I was on the phone for awhile while she was cooking some Christmas treats; she became a little annoyed that I had my sun glasses on the whole time and even ate lunch while wearing it and stayed on the phone. Yeah, that's life. I told her that I need to treat her like an officer because she's a civilian that I am forced to respect- this is if I stick to my American soldier ideals. I'm in it to serve the civilians of this country, even if I think some of them act like turds.

It's the sacrifices people make to ensure that a country runs smoothly. We're grateful for them- I know that I'm pretty grateful for the battle buddies I spent some time with at a military installation.

This Is Becoming Like A Really Painful Chore

I'm feeling glued on my seat right now typing about stuff that probably wouldn't make that much sense to the common person. I'm even skipping some words as a type now and not paying that much attention to the details that I should be engrossing myself in. I guess I'm not meant to be a real writer then. This could pretty much be interpreted as me wasting a great deal of my time right now.  I'm still engaging in this light activity because for some reason, it's bringing out something I like about myself.

I guess the more times a person practices at something, the more better he will become at it. I think something that I have been accustomed to in the past is pretty much spending long hours on something everyday. Well, I started out like that by watching T.V. I think just staring at the screen and letting my mind rot was not really something I can boldly state that I'm proud of.

Fixing and managing my computer was very frustrating back then, but somehow having no help I managed to do what I wanted sometimes except for the impossible things like learning to program software which was so hard and something I became addicted about learning. I think when my dad bought me a book on learning to program, and it didn't do what I wanted- I gave up thinking that there was nothing that I could do in making it work. I think the moment arose again when I was in college- when I was stumped on some programming task and couldn't find the solution- I pretty much just started all over and kept on studying all the different tools I could use and surely enough, I would come across a solution if not the best solution and use it to finish my project.

After Failing, Looking Forward To Retesting

One thing that the military does believe in, is giving the soldier whose learning to overcome an obstacle some more chances with learning to pass an event in order to graduate. In life, there can only be so many chances but I believe if the individual takes it very seriously and commits he or she will most definitely reach a goal. It's mainly in the attitude which will really allow a person to do what's needed to get there.

If the will isn't there, then pretty much if the event is too difficult to complete then one can expect to always fail. Without preparing and giving some strong and consistent effort, there really can't be a successful attempt. I just need to personally learn to push myself with very little self-doubt and not worry about getting that cold rejection from mother nature when it does happen.

Running Out Of Steam

My mind is just ready to shut down because I know that once I'm finished with reaching this month's goal. I'm going to need to write about thirty-one more posts to finish up the year. I'll be going on a skiing vacation again, so I'm not going to have access to the Internet this time. The most significant thing that I did today was just wake up and do some push ups. It's really funny how the most important thing to me for the whole day only takes like five minutes to accomplish.

I really need to watch myself more carefully and keep the mind from wandering off into a dark path. Maybe things are just getting more laid back for me, and I'm just not being that attentive about it anymore. I guess I'm just moving along and writing about boring stuff over and over again. I guess if I slip I just need to learn to snap out of it and face the consequences and ask the Lord for forgiveness now. Furthermore, I need to learn to not go back into it again. A verse in the Proverbs states that a sinner who goes back to his old habits of sinning is like a dog that returns to its vomit. 

I understand the cycle I'm in and how it's really difficult to snap out of it and push myself into a more likeable transition. Though my flesh is weak, my heart isn't giving up; I'm not losing my faith in what Christ has done just so I could go back into living a pretty ignorant and selfish lifestyle. 

I Should Maintain The Body And Myself

I have some things that I told myself that I would do. I need to live up to them now. Well, today I supposedly have a party that I need to attend so I'm guessing that should be a lot of fun. I need to let go of the guilt with some acts I'm not too proud of and just repent of that nature while recognizing that I'm like a new creature trying to serve God. I do feel freed from all the hassles I felt like I was dealing with nowadays.

My personality is really staying stable and capable of being pretty smooth with everybody. I just need to make some minor adjustments with myself now and then I should be set. Being home, it's hard for me to live up to the commitments that I've wanted to set out to do because I'm in a relaxed state at home. By going out the workplace, it took me nearly a month-in-a-half to adapt to a more stressful environment.

I don't want to lose the edge that I created for myself. I should be taking advantage of the situation I'm currently in. I should be trying to stay diligent with something that I really want to do and be honest about my situation while trying to be moral about stuff.

Simple Way To Fix Computer

I was a little worried while I was backing up my files that it would take me a long time to fix my computer today. However, I just ran a piece of software called Malwarebyte and it pretty much solved my issue. The spyware I got stuck with is called Windows Security 7- it's really annoying because most programs can't be ran and causes the user to get a pop up screen stating to register and buy the software. I guess I might have clicked accidentally and agreed to have my computer scanned thinking it was a natural update from Windows Defender.

What made the difference was running Malwarebyte by clicking on "Run as Administrator." It pretty much trampled the spyware and saved me the hassle of restoring my computer to factory settings and installing some other software I personally use. 

Clearing the Mind

My mind is not wandering off as it used to anymore. It's sometimes set on doing something that I shouldn't be focusing on. I'm really close to doing things right; I shouldn't let something I did to screw up keep me down. I guess I can pray for forgiveness when the Spirit ministers to me that I've been under sin. Having a sense of purpose and getting myself out of a small jam is something that's going to take me awhile to get used to, but I hope to get back on track again.

I'm starting to see the momentary distractions from not feeling it. It's a small cycle that inhibits me from being productive and possibly successful. There's a way for me to personally manage it and come out on top still- I know it's not that far away for me to turn it around and get ahead with my daily tasks again.

Have To Discipline Myself

I think I need to just relax now and let go of all the pressure that's built underneath me. I need to look at things in a moral perspective and just accept that being human and alive, there's a sense of responsibility that I want to maintain. The only way I'm really going to be able to do what I need is to let go of some things that never really worked out for me and to just try my best in hanging in there.

I think being disciplined can actually be a pretty purposeful lifestyle- not to mention, it's not that I can't make it fun also. I guess just taking my time with paying close attention to some things and then speeding up while getting used to a certain routine might be cool. I think I just need to get back into the habit of certain things and when I'm feeling off center and out of focus, I just need to let it fall out and reconcile with the feelings that are buried underneath and be patient about it.

A State of Denial

I'm starting to see that people sometimes like to overindulge themselves; hence, they become abnormal for a few seconds yelling from being uncomfortable about something. I guess I might be abnormal too because I've actually learned to be pretty calm over those situations that arise and can cause some people to blow their lids. It wasn't like this a few years ago because I was in a state of denial from not wanting to see it in simplistic terms. I was really emotionally connected with something and having a hard time letting go. Those people who I dealt with weren't really sentimental with me because they were so aggravated- this came out of that disgruntled church which I'm now totally understanding. They were spiritually blinded and their hearts were so hardened with the stubborn decision they were fixated on that they just simply told me to get help and couldn't acknowledge that I had a hard time letting go of some ties I built with their church.

It's a lot easier to see it now- also it was pretty rude of those people to make me feel like I was some piece of garbage by not being able to clarify it over again while I was denying their allegations with me. I sort of picked up on this behavior because of them removing me as a friend on their Facebook page. I guess it's not the act that I mind but my judgement I was placing against them.

Nowadays, they are all gone after blaming me for causing their people to leave their church. I think that unofficially exonerates me from whatever madness they wanted to scapegoat me over. I was in an emotional state of denial and it caused me to ignore the situation they were placing me in. I was dumb for not being able to accept the truth back then and realize that they were being foolish with me.

I guess it's hard to move on especially when there's some unsettled business I feel beneath my heart. I'm not about to go on a shooting rampage with a loaded M-4 which is hard to calibrate on its own and won't hit any target looking through the sight post. I think the soldiers I was surrounded around understand my call on the M-4. I'm just really happy for some reason because I think I recovered from a very difficult situation and might have needed to boast a little about it. That's probably what I was missing and now I think I'm ready to deal with their countenance after time has passed which is going to appear pretty pathetic if I ever come across them again.

What I Think I Did Wrong

I pretty much focused on the wrong thing and left myself feeling cheated. I should maintain a level of concentration and discipline by doing something that I know is productive and will induce happiness when I do complete the task. I am familiar with completing some very difficult tasks and feeling really filled and rejuvenated. I should utilize this need of responsibility to get something done over my break.

It's really easy to sit around and pretty much watch television like I did all throughout my schooling. It was fun sometimes but boring most of the time. It was when I got my hands dirty fiddling around with something using my screwdriver that things got a little interesting. It was really difficult to maintain the desire to work on a project, but I didn't understand a lot about life back then.

I guess I'm glad my writing while I reflect about my boring life is actually helping to motivate me.

Exercising Discipline

I'm sort of treating my vacation right now while thinking that once I exercise, I'm pretty much free. However, I want to do more than just play right now. I want to utilize this time that I have to do something I know I have set out in myself. I guess I can prepare myself to go back to school to earn a graduate degree. I'm almost squared away with everything that I need to focus on.

Because I by myself, I should really maintain a level of excellence that I usually strive for when I'm around my peers. It's like I can't really let down my battle buddies- we have to each function individually to work as an effective team. I really should be doing my part while I'm still not belonging to anything.

Six More To Post 1000

With this whole trying to average one post a day, it's getting really hard to want to write on this blog now. It just feels that way for the moment, but I'm still on here typing away with anything random that's going on my head. I don't seem to really care at the moment how ostentatious or impractical this blog appears. Anyway, I received complaints from my mom at one point who told me that I was an idiot for writing stuff on here.

The saying goes that practice makes perfect. I don't really see how useful this blog is going to be on the long run for everybody else at the moment. However, it seems like the more I focus on something genuinely good and use it for clever things, it seems to create an impact for me. I've had moments where I wrote up something that I've never even thought of and used the reflection to help myself.

Okay, there's something about me where if I'm accustomed to something and it doesn't go the way I want it, then I might feel a little irascible about it. I guess the extreme version of some criminals have rage that never goes away when they are irritated; they must be like sitting there in a dark corner while locked up and alienated from making any more friends. I think I'm learning to not care if something doesn't go my way- then again, I'm starting to laugh about it a little inwardly so I guess it's a decent defensive mechanism and helpful in keeping me cheerful about life and something to be thankful about always.

Never Been So Popular

Honestly, I don't seem to really care about popularity. The heck with it, I've been celibate all my life- I'm saying it the G-rated way. I'm happy to celebrate celibacy which means that I never married. This implies a lot of things in a good way, which might even make some people a little jealous or wish they could turn back time. It's difficult actually when a person grows up and still have the desire of wanting to never marry. It can mean a lot of things for the person and disrupt some areas of confidence; however, it can all be changed by simply making the effort.

Putting a smile on your face over thinking about smart things and applying it isn't always a bad thing. Just do it. My count of people reading this blog has really dipped because I haven't been able to manage it that well for the last two months. I actually have a count on how many people are actually looking at this site.

Then again, I'm doing pretty okay according to my personal standards. I don't expect any surge of readers looking at this site any time soon.

Have To Stay Clean

I need to work out and then take a shower. That's what I'm feeling. I already worked out in the morning with push ups and sit ups. I need to go run right run and then take a shower and then I need to go take this hard to clean, army uniform and drop it off at a cleaning place. Okay, I need to clean my desk again because it's getting annoying looking at all this trash on my desk.

I'm glad I paid my bills on time and can sort of get about it for this whole month. I am going to try to early pay my bills so I don't have to worry about it anymore. I am getting a headache looking at my desk right now- I feel like really cleaning it so I'm going to clean it.

Almost Ready To Fully Grasp Everything I Need

I know how it's so easy to see something or observe it, but when translating it into steps; sometimes, it's just too confound to entertain the mind and achieve the goal. Nonetheless, it doesn't mean the person should become erratic or dejected about taking on the challenge. I think when a person becomes self-motivated, there's really no need to all of a sudden jump the gun into doing something that's probably crazy. Maybe something isn't really so crazy to the person, who might see it in an entirely different light; well, it doesn't really seem to be so helpful to the masses.

I think when it comes down to it- whatever a person does, it really comes down to the intentions of the heart. Something may seem so great to observers who are not part of something, but what's it really like for the person whose been successful at receiving the favorable outcome? I guess I have some questions but then again everybody does, and dealing with some of the most annoying people on the planet makes me sort of laugh about it now.

Not In Mood For Writing

I feel like this the half of the time I actually do write on this blog. Yet, I put down something because I just have a forced habit so I'm going to be posting something, regardless of how lame or shameful my composition becomes. It's interesting when I seem to get myself laughing and then others start laughing too. It's very enjoyable and sort of fun so I guess it makes things a little more comfortable for me.

It might mean that I'm becoming a master at manipulating people's emotions or some liberal field of thought that causes some people to feel offended about this blog. I remember last couple years, I felt really locked up- I still hate the idea of using curse words to express myself even though I've come so dog gone close. I mean I use words that seem to be bad but in general, it's used for the purpose of conveying something useful, so I guess I remain thankful that I don't need to limit my vocabulary to vulgar contexts.

Don't Know If I'm Going To Make It

Writing like 56 more posts feels like too much for me to handle. Honestly, I've done a lot of writing in the past from being motivated and from what I've busted out in the past- man, that's a daunting amount of posts for me to personally handle this month. It's because I'm going somewhere again next week so I'm not going to have time to post so I'm trying to break my limit in a matter of a few days. Boy, it's feeling really gut crushing for me. It's like I just want to not dedicate myself to these pages anymore and go on doing something else.

Yet, I feel this personal commitment that I made to this blog. I pretty much stated that I would average one post a day. See, how hard it really is? I personally do.

Tackling Substance

I'm pretty lucky in that I have all this time to myself right now since I'm back on break. I'm pretty much left alone and get to do whatever I want at this home and not feel really burdened by anything in the world. I guess that's called ultimate relaxation- I still feel a little guilty in that I could probably do quite a bit more while I'm facing this moment I'm getting to enjoy.

Learning to balance my desires and frustration levels have been quite a ride for me, and it might really destroy my desire to concentrate because I just feel so emotionless about it. I can't personally rule it as a state of depression either- it's just a mood of thinking I guess that I haven't really been tested with. I think it's because I'm losing in touch with my sense of purpose sometimes.

There's this innate desire to connect and stay connected with me- I don't want to stay in the bad side of things either when I could just aim for excellence. I think I just need to think less about the state I'm currently in and work on stuff to recognize later how I've been resilient with some things. I just need to keep an ensured head locked in with everything and be able to flow.

It's like I need to be able to do this everyday- regardless of how I might feel. The good thing is that I sort of laugh about my setbacks now, so they don't bother me as much anymore. I think it's nice that I developed this sort of defensive mechanism when the going seems a little tough. It keeps me wanting to stay resilient and just pushing forward with an endeavor. I no longer feel like I have to regret sticking to the decision of someone else when it's really my call to make now. I really feel a lot of stuff happening with me and that I should just relax and try to catch onto things a little more smoothly.

Conquering Unwanted Addictions

It could be really anything that a person might have trouble staying away from. Maybe that piece of chocolate is too good to pass up, so the guy might finish up three pounds of chocolate in one setting. I don't think that's very healthy obviously, but it could sure serve up being a laughing matter. I think overcoming these pitfalls is just a matter of recognizing one's strengths and then applying concentration to stay busy and just do the right thing.

My current problem when I'm by myself is thinking very incorrectly and out of line with the world, like I'm in my own bubble. It even is attached to my emotions from probably experiencing some positive reinforcement from it. I really need to retrain myself out of this immature pattern of acting and become a little more aligned with morally contributing at something.

Trying To Finish Up The Year

I feel like being at home to do nothing makes it a lot easier for me to be susceptible to doing naughty things to myself. I don't think I should engage in that type of behavior and just find something to keep active with. I think with all this time that I have been given for the vacation along with a pretty decent amount of income with a pretty good housing condition, I should really take advantage of it and apply some discipline no matter how boring the going gets. I don't think it's about what I'm currently doing, but more about where it's leading now.

If I focus on stupid things, then that's how I've been keeping myself busy which is not very bright. I would like to focus on smart things and keep away from unnecessary distractions now. The thing that I'm having trouble is this feeling of having nothing to do and then blowing off time by doing something crazy to pump up my adrenaline. I think it's really all about having the right kind of heart when it comes to dealing with stuff in life.

Man, being of coming age it's getting really hard to ignore the thoughts of wanting to raise a family. It seems like a direction that would help out with maintaining some responsibility and enjoying stability. I am really weak in the flesh when it comes to dealing with that marriage stuff right now, so I sort of need to commit myself again in the right direction. I'm going to pretty much spend some of these days in prayer and seeking heavenly advice from Christ through searching the Scriptures and apply those principles that become revealed to me in his spirit.

Feeling Heavy Duty Writing

I feel a headache at the thought of punching some keys to make up some random sentences right now. I guess that's how it's like to feel normal most of the time. I guess the other times I might feel weird is when I'm on this natural high with writing and then I write something I think is good, but when I read it later, it actually sucks. Oh well, life is filled with emotional contradictions all the time. What makes a good standard in writing anyway? With all these different styles, I guess the plaintive and tedious style of getting to the point with a simple opinion is how to write essays. I guess adding some flavor to it and then bashing things might really offend even the grader, but then I guess the grader is forced to give the writer an A while completely hating the piece because it's a well-composed draft.

Looking at things in a humorous way with this random setup can sometimes cause the brain cells to activate. I guess it's the part where a person puts his or her focus that breaks the person, so no matter how annoying a person becomes from making you laugh with silly jokes, I guess it gets to the point of staying focused and bringing in the money to support your family and yourself.
  

Need To Call Now

I have some card debt remaining still. Now, I only have some money in my bank account which is pretty enough to pay my bills. As long as I don't really injure my body, I should be in decent standing to withstand the cold weather in a military installation like Fort Benning when I go back in January. I'm back from training hard- I lost ten pounds and have a little bit of lining that looks like muscle forming on my abs. I guess I'm becoming a leaner and stronger soldier. I was surprised I could even do a pull up and hold it there for a little while- I used to not be able to do any; in fact, throughout the whole training I needed a spotter to do a pull up. All of a sudden, I did a pull up; wow, so amazing.

I guess it's normal for females to not be able to do a lot of push ups; so unfortunately, they can't really join the military even if they wanted to. There was this one female at the training who couldn't do any push ups and she became singled out and looked really weird, but in the civilian world she would be considered normal. In the military world, she is looked down upon which is pretty sad. She might be kicked out but she is improved from doing 0 push ups to 6 push ups in a matter of 8 weeks. I think that's a pretty low number of push up repetitions still, compared to my improvement from 25 to 43 in 8 weeks. In the U.S. Army, men and women are considered equal so by not doing those push ups, it invites alienation and being looked down upon or seen as a piece of turd by drill sergeants, females and males alike. There are some females who have busted out and do most push ups than males- kudos to them.

Have To Make Phone Calls

I ended up trying to text a girl named Betty Lam - there's like at least hundreds of the same name in China. I unfortunately had to deal with a Betty Lam- she lives in California still I think. Even in California, there's a lot of Betty Lam's out there- I see that it might be easy for her name to be stolen and hence, be a victim of identity theft. It happened to my little sister because her name is pretty common too. I think I'm speaking some truth about this while laughing quite a bit trying to discuss about it.

There's also another common girl name found in China that I came to talk to. There was another one too but she was very exceptional to me based on her demeanor and level of maturity- I thought her age was like 35 but now that I reason, she might have only been like ten months older than me. Anyway, I can technically call her an older sister still but it has to be looked at as the bare minimum. There was this really funny Thai name- I guess Thai people sometimes have these excruciating long last names spelled out in English. I guess it flows a lot better being written down in a different language- maybe that's why it has traditionally stayed like that; still, it seems like Thai people feel a little disconnected with each other sometimes with the economic crisis and stuff, so I can't really make an accusation of how having long last names to remember causes them to forget about other agenda.

I guess I get along with the most unruly people, especially if I've hung out at a military installation all this time during the last two months and have no altercations or verbal exchanges to really highlight. This should be mean that all I had to do was just open my mouth and tell those church people how weird I thought they were being and they would just shut down and let me expose how weird they were being. It's like I could have walked all over them easily and probably still could but maybe I should maintain my discipline of spirituality and not really do it.

Countdown to 365

Yeah, at the pace that I'm writing I could be at 365 in no time- that is if my mind doesn't decide to sleep at the desk I'm in. Basically I feel like going out to work out even the outside is considerably cold. I'm just weird like that in that it's not common to wake up early and then go work out. I can only do 40 push ups in two minutes compared to my little sister's 5 push ups. My stats are still pretty horrible, so I have to work on it and am going to do so right now or eventually after finishing writing. I feel like I can almost reach only 60 situps in two minutes and comparing that to the rest of the female population- man, I need to compare myself to other males. Man I suck at doing push ups and sit ups right now and my run time is only 7 minutes a mile right now- I need to cut it down to 6:30 minutes per mile to be considered a dog gone, pretty elite soldier.

I'm waking up thinking about doing physical training. Being at basic combat training in a military installation like Fort Benning has caused me to think about just exercising and longing to be a better marksman. It was fun throwing grenades and ducking to avoid shrapnel- I was told that the safety instructors will utilize beating up a person to bring him or her to safety which is kind of an oxymoron. I will explain- the instructor can pretty much lift up the individual and kick him so he falls to the dirt really battered to avoid shrapnel from a grenade just to save his life. I didn't hear about it happening to any of the 210 soldiers who were with me this time. That's how it's supposed to be, and they keep on telling us, "Don't be that one [bad soldier]."

Let's Get The Coveted 365 Posts

My mind is on its random rampage again to finish what it set out to do in the beginning. From procrastinating which really sucks a lot, I think any person who does that will lose out in a significant amount of details in their life while trying to complete an endeavor successfully. It's pretty much being forced to make compromises dealing with the amount of time that is left. It's a really painful journey and always will be- it never really prepared me for meeting deadlines that became shortened either.

There's something inappropriate about me and I know what it is but I'm not going to share. Let's just say that I want to keep this gig of mine G-rated, so I could hint a little just like how those Disney films do it. I think I gave away a lot of implications already, but then again the little ones might still have a little more thinking to do before they get it, so I guess it's not bad to treat the matter as such on this blog then.

What I Have Been Doing?

I don't know what I have been doing. Let's just say that I've been away from my house for awhile now. I didn't have any access to the Internet or news or hardly got to speak to normal people. It's because I've been training at a military installation. As funny as it sounds with how I'm putting it, it's true that I signed up for the Army Reserves and became accepted.

I was worried about a private incident that happened with me but it looks like it's going to stay only private. I mean to say that I denied doing anything wrong, and if it doesn't really show up on my public record with me still avoiding from making the problem any larger back home then I guess I haven't really done anything wrong and don't need to worry about it anymore.

Back To Posting

Okay, it's five days before Christmas now. I have an incredible amount of catching up to do now. Looks like I might actually be living up to what I said I would be doing which is splitting up each post to just one paragraph just to see what type of randomized stupid stuff I come up with. I think this is a great way to just cheat myself for the whole year but then again, I'm getting what I want to do. That being said, I'm probably going to be just letting myself loose and have no worries about people bashing me for writing something that goes against their morals or just plain offends them.

I've found some technique underneath all of this to try to still stay relevant and get people to just stay quiet. I guess that's the best way which is shutting them up sometimes.

Just Doing Business

Okay, the stuff that some people did to me in the past is just a bunch of baloney. I don't really care about it anymore. I really need to focus on making a living just for the bare necessities. Anyhow, bagging on a church with how bad its policies and teachings were might carry some weight for me since I do claim that I want to follow the Bible. It's not really about shooting myself in the foot either. There are probably some really good churches out there which really care about getting involved with the community and helping out.

It's really about examining the fruits of some labor which is how the Bible wants to put it. What sort of makes me laugh is that I've heard from decent friends and kin that church people are really arrogant and narrow-minded hypocrites. I was really sensitive to those descriptions when someone accused me about it in the past, but I guess I'm over it and can laugh about the depiction about it dealing with myself. It's really about a measure of having good faith, and it is something that needs to be examined by looking at the fruits that come out of a person's effort. I guess good leaders can really guide some strong-willed followers to harvest wonderful fruits for others! What I mean by fruits are results of a person's hard work which is how the Bible depicts it as.

Maybe letting go of so much negativity from that one little church that acted like a weed I wanted to pull out of my lawn would help me see the bigger picture of what is supposed to be happening and inspire me from noticing the good things that are happening. I'm also pretty good at opening doors for myself and dealing with a bunch of people who can potentially give others headaches. Maybe, I can use this decent gift to try to help improve the lives of others in a loving way with a cheerful heart.

Avoiding Future Headaches

This time I'm going to make sure that when I commit to something that involves money, I really have the money for it and will be able to be pay it off fast. I believe that I'm more experienced so common sense should say that I might be decent with doing business now. Using OPM is really controversial, so the next time I try it out, I'm going to make sure that I already have enough cash for myself to back out of it now in case anything goes wrong for me. I pretty much over-strained myself in the credit card usage but now I should be able to put myself back in good standing and keep it that way now.

All of this money stuff was about just doing business and trying to make a living. I understand now, so I've lived a pretty exciting life putting myself over the edge dealing with finances. I really think doing stocks and investing could be really up my alley now because I'm just really excited about it. However, I'm going to put my own money into it and be wise about it by practicing before putting my own money into it. It's something I want to do and while having something to support myself, I can put a little time into investing and should be able to find a way to make some additional income without putting too much effort into it.

I am no longer going to procrastinate dealing with business. I'm just going to go in and do the best I can to conquer it while using common sense in business terms. It may seem like I'm a ruthless business leader but then again, I would like to make some good financial sacrifices to practice being pious while not worrying about money in general. Yeah, maybe that additional fun might be something I could afford giving up if it would convert to godly results in improving society. This is all based on me trying to be a follower of the Bible in its purest form. The Bible also says to be on the lookout for all types of greed, so that means watching out for those people who might want to take advantage of a person's wealth too. Hey, proverbs found in the Bible are really intelligent too.

Future Plans

I'm pretty much going to just let this blog sit and with all the stuff I've revealed hopefully I didn't embarrass myself too much from it even though I suppose that I did. I feel a lot more comfortable in my own shell and since I'm trying to follow the practical applications found in the Holy Bible which is really about loving God and others then it might reflect being in okay standing from a legal perspective in the United States which is where I'm currently making my home. Hey, living out what a fully-fledged Christian is supposed to do isn't really committing any crime anyway.

Wow, some people must have had it really rough especially with news I still hear about in how Christians are still being incarcerated in some countries. Persecution may still be around so it still means the Bible is being truthful about it, and how it could be relevant in today's terms. Basically, being a rude or selfish person and then claiming to be persecuted isn't really what the Bible had in mind for those true believers who follow it.

Making Final Preparations

It looks like just having a job now, I'm going to be able to catch up with making payments on all of my card debt. I'm just feeling really excited at the thought of finally being normal again in my financial area. I believe I've learned a lot throughout the process and how some people might be really out there to hustle consumers into giving them more money so they could make a living.

When I was younger, it looks like I was more susceptible to having a dirty mind but now that even feels like old news and something I might have a really good understanding of now. The Bible pretty much says to not covet or lust after things which is probably about learning to behave well and accepting the truth about the condition of man. I'm tempted to want to myself look good in like a holy appearance type of deal, but then I know that I have hidden some bad stuff about me which is not related to really anything in general except my own personal preferences. This means that I haven't done those illegal drugs or any criminal transactions, and I am very sure of it.

I guess I can really give people a hard time because there's really not much on my record. If I really become honest and fulfill the requirements that I'm supposed to do, then usually I come out okay. Getting some useful support from others is something I try to utilize too. Overall, I hope I manage to make it. I tried really hard and tried to delay everything, but now I really need to live up to facing everything to put myself back on track.

Brainstorming Ideas

I believe that I should make my line of work something I could feel that is really fun so then it's not really work then. Well then, I might as well take on some position and be the nicest that I can be of a person. I'm going to make my mind really resilient and not let up with some decisions that I've made regarding my life. For now on, I'm just going to be about diligence and doing stuff that makes sense and is pretty happy driven. What I see in others is not what I'm going to be doing to myself sometimes- that's just the way it is for me but I will still socialize from time to time.

Hey, if I'm really bored from being at the house all the time then I could always do some volunteer work, which would be like giving back. I think my life has been about having fun while striving in excellence- this is how it was back then for me trying to pass those Mario Bros games! I'm going to make all the necessary preparations then have enough time to do other things to entertain myself and also help others out. I'm so used to being overwhelmed with things and that it's part of my growing up cycle.

If I miss out on some things, then I'm going to learn to not to become bitter about it and still try to be the nicest that I can be. There's really no reason for me to get so emotional about everything even though others might be understanding if I do get to that point. Anyway, I think I'm ready to care, be an understanding type of person, and always be stable with myself while thinking quick on my feet.

Where I'm At Right Now

I used to feel like being bored about something was the worst thing in the world for me. I'm starting to get used to the feeling, so now it's time for me to realize what I'm supposed to do right now. Regardless of feelings, I do have needs and wants just like everybody else does. All I can hope for is that I find something that will fit in place for me with the ones that I'm not so sure about. Everywhere else where I can maintain some level of competency, I might as well work hard at it.

This must be a difficult thing for some people in my shoes to realize, but where I'm at is that I'm still pretty young compared to people in their mid-30s or 40s. What I do with my time now is going to have a dramatic effect later now. The adage of live like there's no tomorrow is something that I've always tried to live up to by having fun to the best of my ability. I'm going to have to act like I need to keep pushing until it's the end for me now. What I mean is that I'm currently in a state where I should be investing and that if I run out of time somewhere in my life, then at least I can personally live up to my expectation of fully doing what I wanted to do in the first place.

It was really hard for me to juggle these issues of feeling that I lack time and then I should just go blow my time off on having fun. I now see quite a bit of the more mature side of things now and how it balances with my desires.

Happy Columbus Day

I didn't know today was Columbus Day. Oh well, I guess I've been trying to do other stuff because I'm just so bored right now. I think being outside the home everyday to do something would be really meaningful for me now. Doing a lot of things is just getting really boring now so I really should just deal with the boredom and study hard.

Man, my mind is just totally out of it from not being able to focus so well right now. I shouldn't really put this precious time to waste and do dumb things. I'm going to just really try to get something done now and to use my time wisely for something important. I might as well just spend my time doing some more over-preparing for some things to pass away the time now. I think venturing outside the home long term for taking up an occupation is going to be of benefit to me because I'll be able to see new sights and possibly become more mature. I'm actually pretty excited about it, so before I leave I should just pretty much spend my time thinking about what I'm going to need and just be really ready in a timely manner.

Becoming A Trooper

What's the most important thing to a person in general? I believe it is related to having a significant relationship with something or someone. Maybe one was born with an undying desire to be the top scientist with something, or another could be about maintaining a happy relationship. When I come to really think about it, these reasons really help keep a person from losing it. Coming to terms with something that just isn't going to go a certain direction is what I believe everybody might have a hard time dealing with at one point in their lives. It doesn't matter how much advice they try to give to some people- they're still what some people like to call humans!

Sweating out a lot of bullets may become uncomfortable, but hey, it's necessary to move on sometimes for me. Taking on ultimate positions that test the comfort zone and going all the way for a simple goal in mind is sometimes how God designed certain paths for others. It's just coming to accepting some personal realizations no matter how bad it might feel. It's really hard for some anti-social people to accept some things others might not like about them. I understand this because I was once a sociopath too, but from having a lot of nerves and fear in the beginning, they all gradually went away. My audacity became even greater once I became willing to accept all truths about myself.

Based on the stresses that I've gone through, I feel really sober right now. With the things I feel that I'm lacking in, I can only hope that I'll find a break with them and put a lot of time into them. I'm not even afraid of making the same mistakes over and over again now, as long as I grow from the experience and become a better person which is what matters to me. Sometimes, just sitting there while trying to study or read a boring book, I've had these moments where I'm just thinking about what am I supposed to be doing while being in existence. I think I've come to a more fuller expectation personally and respect for others who have come to realize it, too.

Living Life To The Fullest

It's one of those moments where I'm actually trying to obtain stuff from being straight to the point now. It's pretty much about what I need to get to the next step of my desirable point. There's probably a thing or two dealing with my life that I can't really control so I can't really hold myself fully accountable for it, but I can at least be optimistic or hopeful about it. Becoming serious in some areas for me is sort of what I need along with having fun at the same time.

There's pretty much a purpose driven goal that I have dealing with what I'm looking for. If the opportunity arises no matter how big the risks are, one should really consider taking it because there could be a joyride which occurs at the end of the tunnel. Making personal sacrifices along the way while having goals and ambitions can be a really noble thing. No matter how young one is and where he or she is at, living life to the fullest as best as possible is important.

Body Workout Goals

I've mentioned probably the last week that writing goals on this blog has been very powerful for me because I have actually managed to get them done no matter how ridiculous my desire was regarding it. For working out purposes, I'm looking at becoming a full triathlon athlete so that means being able to do a 2 mile swim, 100 mile bike ride, and full marathon all in one day. I know how crazy that seems to accomplish, but I'm setting my mind to it now.

Currently, my job requires me to be quite physical so the only way I'm taking care of it is by doing push ups, sit ups, and some running all in one day. My current repertoire for now until I have enough money and a break to be able to stay home more often and work out is to do only 60 pushups all in one set of repetitions, three sets of 20 situps which will eventually be combined into just one set of 60, and jogging or running nonstop for at least 17 minutes. This current repertoire isn't really that difficult to accomplish for me, but it keeps me on my toes per say. I mean I've been sore for the last couple days and probably am going to feel it on my abs and legs for the days to come but oh well, the pay off is that I'll be able to endure more strenuous activity at work for some heavy computer job I'm applying for.

Becoming One With The Self

Okay, so I've been getting ahead of myself and posting a lot. I'm just trying to get as much as possible done because when I get back, I just want to see if I can catch up. I'm planning on being gone the next month before I get to type again during the Christmas break, but then again, I might not even have time when I'm back during around that time.

It looks like there's going to be a break somewhere in this blog because I was having overall a good time trying to put something on here for an average of one post per day, which feels abnormal for me right now because I'm anticipating on being gone for the whole year. Maybe, I won't be able to live up to it up to the next year, so there's going to be that uncontrollable gap for me.

Anyhow, I'm sure if all readers read every single of my post then it would really get them to catch up on some interesting posts because I'm sure I might have one or two of those just to try to be modest. Basically, I'm trying to get anymore baggage out of the way by typing on this blog. It seems to be doing a good job with that for me.

Here's That Feeling Again

I need to face the realities of growing up now. I may have been a sorry loser in the past with all my accomplishments which is pretty much being a normal guy in a smaller than personally expected physical body. Literally, when I walk in crowded spaces from being a descendant of short Asians, I see taller people all piled up in front of me and with like maybe a couple being shorter than me. For this reason and being a little older, I don't really care if a celebrity walked into my home and claimed who he or she is- man, I don't really care that much about asking for an autograph and photo taken. I just don't seem to really care about those types of things anymore now. I guess it's a type of purgatory I felt like I was going through to try to be playful about my past situations.

I guess if I was a celebrity, I would just want to go to places and be recognized enough and then not be hounded by stalkers and paparazzi because it would feel so weird. I guess I really hate being by myself and would like to be in the company of someone nice most of the time- I guess that's why I would want to stay married to my wife.

Gracious people who don't really have to struggle with typical ideas of adolescence while being adults and can stay single for the rest of their lives are just really awesome people. Not to mention, there are single morons though, especially in guys- it's not uncommon for them to have a wife too like myself- hey, as long as they are always sweet to their significant others, I think that's what counts the most. However, if I have struggled with it from the start then I guess I'm going to have to stay married with my current wife and try to have her put up with me congenially. I'm just an average dude who thinks he's a lot smarter then he is sometimes; it's wrong for me to think that way- I'm still just trying to get by like the rest. I have a long life ahead of me and being miserable most of the time isn't the way I want to be headed because I'm going to be alive through it all, so might as well invest my time wisely and learn from an accurate and honest source- the Bible.

Going To Be Gone For Long Time

I'm not going into anything metaphysical or something related to that which would convey that I'm going to shut down this blog. No, nothing like that- I physically mean that I'm going to gone to go working. Hey, everybody has to work for food- this is like a basic, general requirement for everybody. The secret to life is that there is no free lunch, unfortunately for children; I guess they better wish they grow up faster so they can obtain a dream job.

Boy, being out on the road especially with a decent job with okay pay is going to be something I have to do for myself because I really want to be a part of some safe investments later. In other words, if I can invest with the money I'm trying to save up then it will teach me a lot of valuable lessons as I work hard at investing right!

Everything requires diligence and hard work for me to good at anything; even mastering a video game is a work of art for me- basically, I would have to wake up really early and then dedicate myself about say 12-14 hours a day to get really good at a video game and then show off my skills to any onlookers. Likewise, if I ever treated school with that type of attitude I would be called a geek- I don't mind because I could just state facts about stuff or even slightly exaggerate some detail and people would sort of want to agree because of my credentials of being a geek; see how I could take advantage with the image of a nerd?

New Goals

My goal is to pretty much be able to stay at home most of the time with no financial worries and to be able to raise a lovely family while being able to play with some cool gadgets, learn about technology, and study about health the way doctors would. Also, I would like to be able to get a greater grasp of the Bible each year and let it improve my relationship to loving God and others- for this is the greatest commandment in the Bible and it's a great one indeed if a person looks deeply into it. In order to get to what I'm looking for, I really need to work hard at it.

Watching T.V. as fun and enjoyable it can be gets really exhausting and tedious for me now. I'm just not in the mood for it that much anymore especially when I feel like I have a lot of other stuff to conquer in this world. One of these days, I will be obtaining this goal of mine and hopefully it will be a keeper for me and ensure a decent quality of life for me. To top it all off, I want to get a couple more inches taller still so I'm going to be working at that too and also work at becoming a world class athlete.

As hard as my goals seem, if I really work hard at it everyday regardless of how bad I'm feeling then maybe I'll be a little closer to getting there. It's going to be about taking it step by step for me and that's pretty much where I have to start with. One of these days, I feel like I'll be in a wonderful place so might as well make the right choices morally and physically for myself to increase my chances of getting it sooner.

Dealing With Exhaustion

I haven't worked out a lot as I did yesterday in awhile. I guess I need to take things slightly more easy and keep trying. The mind is the most motivating factor to me, and it seems like the more I engage myself into something no matter how hard I try, I just have to keep pushing it with whatever I can do and just research on it whenever possible.

I guess writing out goals for me have been useful because it has been fulfilled one way or another for me. Like I wrote about how I was trying to make myself taller and then bing! it happened for me. Another time was wanting to lose weight and that also has happened for me too.

I guess in a way, writing about my goals is really powerful and in some cases if my goal is to work against someone whose reading it, it could be really scary for the person because he or she isn't running away from it anytime soon. I don't necessarily have to go into all the details with what my goals are so basically it's just general stuff that I would personally like to accomplish.

How I Lost 15 Pounds In 2 Weeks

It's amazing the amount of weight I lost. I dropped 15 pounds magically all of a sudden. I am now at my ideal weight that I should be at and no longer have any problems with it. The strategy of losing weight like this is to know one's body, as simple as it seems. It probably is and I'm about to share how I did it for free because why should I charge something for something I'm happy that I got rid of which is additional weight.

First off, the person needs to know his or her body type. If he or she is the type of person who can lose weight by dieting, or is there exercise that needs to be involved, or is there a combination that makes it work? For myself, I just need to be awake and limit my calories to about 1200 to 1800 everyday. That's pretty much the strategy of losing weight; just limit the calories at around that range- make sure that the food is providing enough nutrients to sustain the body healthy.

For example, a bowl of protein-enriched cereal with soy milk makes a delicious and healthy breakfast that won't max out over 600 calories. Try to limit all meals enough to add up to no more than 1800 calories. So for instance, limiting to 600 calories for each meal three times a day will seriously help with losing weight. In addition, try to do something while awake instead of just sitting there and watching T.V. Even reading a book is staying active and is better than just staring at a television screen while laying down. What I found helps is taking your time while eating and then thinking about the amount of calories- you'll be surprised to how much your intuition is correct with what your eating. This really means stocking up on a lot of fibers and chewing on those carrots and celery to limit calories and have a healthy dinner. If you don't know how much calories a food has, you can always check the label.

After a dinner, I have one of those delicious and healthy ice cream fruit bars- it's really good and has only 80 calories while providing plenty of Vitamin C. It's a healthy way to end the night and also good while satisfying. Having a warm glass of milk and chewing on some crumbs of a good coffee bread also helps to satisfy a little hunger in the morning. It's pretty much eating smart, delicious, creative, and in a healthy way. It's so possible that anyone can really do this. For those who have to do more than just exercise, then it's going to take a little more discipline to lose weight but if the mind is willing then the weight can be kept off.

Jerko Jar Bear

Once upon a name, a cub was born by a nameless Mama Bear. The Papa Bear had unfortunately been shot down by some innocent citizens who had done all they can with precautions to cover up the food but afraid they were going to be mauled at camp. The scent of the good barbecue was just too much for Papa Bear. Mama Bear stayed in her cave and had a good feeling that her husband had fought a warrior's battle and moved on peacefully.

Due to the culture of the bears in this story, the Papa Bears would also give their sons a nickname before they ended up marrying to become Papa Bear. The daughters of this culture were treated with a lot of elegance and pampered- they were pretty much treated like how queens of the underworld were. After the female cub had all grown up, there would be no more support except bearing another cub and being under the protection of a Papa Bear.

The baby cub grew up with no role model of a Papa Bear to look after him and never was given a nickname, even though Mama Bear had found happiness again with an older Papa Bear who had lost his beloved Mama Bear at birth. The baby cub would go around bouncing into the other Bears' business and wouldn't stop scolding at others when there was a misunderstanding. When some Bears would come to reason and be sincere in their words, the baby cub would still start yelling at them without stopping and never let go of his distorted image of them.

Like all baby cubs, they have a weakness. This one in particular was just so fond of honey found in a jar. One day, the other baby cubs decided to play a joke on him- they gave him a bee hive to feed off of. Once the baby bear had stuck his hand in, bees wrapped around his sticky fur on his hand from the honey and kept stinging him.

"Ow, ow, ow!" said Baby Bear. He then became so enraged that while all the bees were stuck to his hand, he started chasing everybody in the Bear community- infants, juniors, teens, young, and old who were alike to his one-dimensional brain. By setting frenzy to the whole community, the Bears had a town meeting and decided to banish him from the community. Therefore, this baby cub became known as an infamous tale Jerko Jar Bear. He was the first baby cub to be banished and to never make it to become a Papa Bear.