A State of Denial

I'm starting to see that people sometimes like to overindulge themselves; hence, they become abnormal for a few seconds yelling from being uncomfortable about something. I guess I might be abnormal too because I've actually learned to be pretty calm over those situations that arise and can cause some people to blow their lids. It wasn't like this a few years ago because I was in a state of denial from not wanting to see it in simplistic terms. I was really emotionally connected with something and having a hard time letting go. Those people who I dealt with weren't really sentimental with me because they were so aggravated- this came out of that disgruntled church which I'm now totally understanding. They were spiritually blinded and their hearts were so hardened with the stubborn decision they were fixated on that they just simply told me to get help and couldn't acknowledge that I had a hard time letting go of some ties I built with their church.

It's a lot easier to see it now- also it was pretty rude of those people to make me feel like I was some piece of garbage by not being able to clarify it over again while I was denying their allegations with me. I sort of picked up on this behavior because of them removing me as a friend on their Facebook page. I guess it's not the act that I mind but my judgement I was placing against them.

Nowadays, they are all gone after blaming me for causing their people to leave their church. I think that unofficially exonerates me from whatever madness they wanted to scapegoat me over. I was in an emotional state of denial and it caused me to ignore the situation they were placing me in. I was dumb for not being able to accept the truth back then and realize that they were being foolish with me.

I guess it's hard to move on especially when there's some unsettled business I feel beneath my heart. I'm not about to go on a shooting rampage with a loaded M-4 which is hard to calibrate on its own and won't hit any target looking through the sight post. I think the soldiers I was surrounded around understand my call on the M-4. I'm just really happy for some reason because I think I recovered from a very difficult situation and might have needed to boast a little about it. That's probably what I was missing and now I think I'm ready to deal with their countenance after time has passed which is going to appear pretty pathetic if I ever come across them again.