It's a little hard about this whole decision making process for me still haha. I guess I just put a little feeling into it also and must be like part of my embedded instincts or something from my upbringing that causes me to make a choice. One of my biggest dislikes is feeling like I'm just stuck at something and with nowhere else to go. It was during these times that my mind would just wander off and imagine about doing something else. Shortly after, I would end up leaving the job or something would happen. I guess next time before an employer considers firing me then I should just give a resignation notice, noting that the job wasn't really for me when I get those types of daydreaming sequences happening.
It makes a lot of sense now for me with what I'm trying to do. At least I found something that I really like doing and know how to interact with people who are overreacting with me now. Since I found something that I want to be engaged in, now I just need to commit to it. I have some sharp experiences in dealing with stuff that I didn't really want to be a part of- still, I thought it was because I was just stressing myself out, so I would end up giving up a lot more into it and possibly contributing to a more miserable outlook haha.
I'm glad I learned a lot, despite feeling like I failed so many times. Let's say I end up going cold broke with no family to look after and have a piling heap of debt from having been an idiot with those business ventures. I need to remind myself of the passions that make me want to earn a living and then secondly find a way to rebuild myself on that career dream path. At the same time, I would like to just have a normal life so it's about time for me to look at the big picture of settling down. I believe that I'm about second class when it comes to being a desirable person haha. I guess I'm going to have to always be on the lookout at seeing the heart of the matter and going in for the good stuff haha.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
