I'm having a pretty hard time staying focused on something. I mean if I really push myself, then I could complete a task for school or something if I took a class on it. It's just that my mind just wanders off from not being that strong. I must have adopted some type of normal thing where I just want to relax and let go of some responsibilities for a little bit before I get back into it. I guess I had these crazy emotions that were always a part of me that didn't want to believe in myself. It was really hard to keep a routine going because of me relying on those up and down emotions which was short-sighted for me.
Now that I've become conscious of those emotions, I'm realizing that spending hours on doing something that I'm sort of interested in is getting a lot easier for me. I'm realizing that whichever path I take right now, I'm still going to be behind schedule, so wherever I end up, I should really work hard so that I can play catch up very well. Struggling to do business is very tough for me because I don't really like selling and placing a fair value on some goods to make a living. Regardless of what my options are, I believe that 99% of companies in existence today are about meeting some demands to employers or clients and earning a living off of it. I still haven't really been able to settle down with a personal expectation, so that's why I've struggled all this long in maintaining the right position for me.
Actually, there really is something for me like I've mentioned before that I want to make a living off of and wouldn't get tired with. This is coming from wanting to be a charitable person like becoming a certified doctor and working as a volunteer at impoverished countries haha. The reason why I can't go in to be a doctor right now is because I don't want to be paid by insurance companies or patients to aid in relieving health issues. I sort of want to study so I could keep myself healthy and also help others out, if they care to listen to what I could find out about it haha. So having a slow brain and struggling to just become a licensed doctor at the age of 60 for the sake of just operating on people for free to fulfill a personal dream would be such a crazy thing going on with my life. The only way I can start doing these charitable stuff is to have a comfortable income source. Right now, I'm stuck with a student loan which I want to get rid of, so I'm really forcing myself to work hard at finding this comfortable money that I could keep building with little maintenance. After all, if I want to get into the corporate world and sell something that I want to be enthusiastic about and help create, then it would have to be creating video games because I think I'll enjoy playing them occasionally and even try to influence designing games that would interest me if I become like age 70 haha- I don't know online bingo? Or possibly, a game that makes people compete against each other on who could be the most inspiring? haha
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
