While I was dreaming in my sleep, I did get that chance to ball up some professional players because I knew I was in a dream haha. I even laid down another dunk over a big man which felt good in my dream haha. The score at the end was like a cliffhanger because it went down right to the last second and then the team I was on started celebrating after winning haha. Overall, through this dream I learned a little more about honoring and respecting some friends. Therefore, the title of the post is the first thing that came out of my mind when I awoke in the morning. To say the truth, I don't really like going to church at around 10:30 am for service because it seems a little too late for me- I've been attending a church at around 8:30 am and yes, people do show up to the service with pretty good numbers haha.
I've learned something very valuable over the last couple years now- I've learned to not let any negative emotions get the best of me and to express myself in an okay manner with just about anybody, even if they sound like they're being a jerk right now. I no longer feel that competitiveness to be better than somebody else because I'm already content with what I'm doing to make a living. Focusing hard and just putting a lot of diligence into something is what interests me now with my line of work. I'm pretty much treating my job as a business now and not something you do out of a hobby. It's incredible that I found a lot of work even while the economy was crashing down and that I spent a lot of money trying to find something to do, regardless of liking it or not. Therefore, I failed at some of those jobs from not developing passion and placed myself in even more debt after hiring some educators. I was even dissed by some co-workers who claimed that I spent too much money just to work at a nonsense job while the business was barely holding up haha.
With all that experience I had, I really regret maybe not working at 1 or 2 real job opportunities and sticking to the position because I was just a plain idiot for not keeping those jobs haha. Oh well, those are chances I totally let go of because my mind at the time was so fixated on doing something else. I was just too worried and nervous about life to the point that I was considering on getting some help when some people at the selfish church I was at started pestering me to get help haha. I no longer need the expensive help (when I could get it for free from hanging out with friends) which is the neat thing and realize what they were about literally to the point that they can't admit having done anything right for me. I really have a comfortable expectation of how they're going to be like with me now because I know how to actually lead in those bad circumstances that they put me through.
Chris Kuch told me that it wasn't all about me haha, neither is it all about him too. Obviously, he was blinded by his anger and couldn't handle something that was inside of him at the time. Yeah, he was being at least a Class D jerk haha and I did want to beat him up for a time being out of not being able to stay stable around me talking to him. Jarred Taing was like it doesn't matter whether I did it or not because the influence is at some level where he was feeling paranoid about something haha and then he said that I was going to end their care group which really isn't about caring for others but building their own personal self-esteem even to the point of leaving out others they don't feel comfortable being around. I know this and honestly project it because I was there for at least 1.5 years before they brought up their own weaknesses with me haha. I was just too caught up on making a living and feeling so much pressure on it that it caused something that I didn't like and that I was incapable of doing something about it at the time, so I was just being a normal person instead of the usual guy who likes to take charge by doing some unusual things and just avoiding trouble in general.
Overall, I experienced what would be the worst Biblical sin from those people at that church. You can't live a full life without facing these types of relational problems- fortunately, I wasn't involved in anything intimate with a Betty Lam (haha, there's like millions of Betty Lams' which would be a cute Christian name pronounced like "Mrs. Lamb") or went a little too far with the dating scene. I actually did have my time of fun with everything I did- I just tried to refrain from doing them but naturally, I couldn't help having fun over there which tortured them a great deal in a psychologically weird fashion haha. In general, I now know how to deal with the worst sinners of them all, according to what I found in the Bible who claim to be even Christians. The beginning of it or what a cool mathematician over there said, the "Step 0" haha part is to pray for God to forgive them for this sin and seriously let out your desires for them with the Lord. In other words, I prayed for them to get disciplined haha so why not? Their church also messed up quite a bit and some godly people like Betty haha did leave because of me. Eventually, let's see if I could get a hold of Betty who had some funny and natural girl reactions with me and be a good friend to her. I also have a weird feeling that maybe her parents disapprove of her going to that rundown church nowadays.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
