I'm wearing myself out from doing stuff to make myself happy, by looking into the past and reenacting scenes in my head. I'm getting out of my chair and looking at the mirror and rehearsing what I feel I should have done. The one thing I'm so happy about not doing was tackling my former, male friends on the ground and screaming at them and then putting them through one of my unfair military style boot camps, while putting on the hat of a nice drill instructor (one who never says a curse word, but will exaggerate the word to imply that still while using polite words and screaming and shouting at the person).
I'm also glad that when I scared a frenemy (a guy who switches around from being my friend to being against me because he's legally from taking special education courses a little retarded) who was with them and he knocked me to the floor and I got up really fast, I didn't end up punching him all over the place and kicking him below his belt continuously and then taking control of the situation and scaring all of them while putting on my nice drill instructor cap and then showing them how nice of a person I really am, which would confuse the heck out of them and mess up their sense of moral judgement with me.
I leave people very speechless with the stuff I communicate because there's really nothing like it. It's also one of those things that make you want to smile, if you are not a part of it, but later on, you would just move on if you forgot about it. I think I'm just going to sit down and release the energy in a more quiet-spirited manner and then keep pressuring myself to focus on good things like my career and investing my time with finding a beautiful woman to settle down with.
There are pretty ladies I admire and get along very well with, but they are all taken. There's this one single girl who is exceptionally friendly with me and wasn't laughing with me when another lady suggested I get with her. She has an awesome personality, but I'm not really attracted to her appearance. There's another tall girl there too who greets me with a hint of reluctance, but says it so nicely at the same time; I don't know if she likes me or is just mad at me because I was laughing and smiling at her situations quite a bit. That place is so pro-friendly with having me around. I'm not really attracted to both of their appearances, even though some guys would call me an idiot for thinking that way. Yeah, I'm very picky and so lethargic with putting my pursuits into action. I'm also a little uncomfortable with their spiritual backgrounds, even though their beliefs are so firmly rooted in Christ. Hey, now then, I don't really have anything against them now; it's probably just me being uncomfortable with putting my belief system into place and being with them. I'm just crazy and different.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
