Out of the 430 friends I have on Facebook, I think I've lost like 30 friends. Maybe ten of them re-added me back. Another ten of them blocked me on Facebook because I got mad at them, and I guess I ended up annoying them so much, they wanted to ignore me. They act so crazy with me in person when I talk to them, and I can't seem to find a way to resolve whatever problem they are having with me. They are also so much in denial with me too.
What I just stated doesn't really matter and nobody cares really on the long run. I don't really care about it now too. If anyone thinks otherwise, then I invite the person to message me his or her thoughts. I can take in hate mail pretty well too, just that I'll respond back much to the person's dislike possibly.
Here's more stuff that don't really matter. A guy thought I was acting like a terrorist after I called him an idiot for leaving his family. Man, I was so mad at him in the past. It doesn't matter and I shouldn't have been so angry with him. He ended up going for a restraining order and the judge said stay away from him 0 yards while we worked together. Okay, some restraining order! It doesn't matter because God is in charge. Amen to that. I don't really care about it now. I talked to him again and he didn't have me arrested. He just stood there and tried to laugh it off. Well, he has me blocked on Facebook and is under a different guise, so I guess it affected his overall tone a little badly.
I could have talked to him more and get whatever I had off my chest. That's what I miss having done; I just felt I was going to hurt him verbally so I was sensitive like that. In a way it's better that I held back because it means more struggles for me to learn to endure and let go of. Yeah, I really like how that's really positive for this negative thing which really doesn't matter. I don't care about it.
Here's another one. A girl from church put a restraining order on me because she said I was stalking her. I didn't defend myself because I didn't care. I went back to the church and they called the cops. The cops told me that I had no restraining order. They had me handcuffed out of suspicion and I was let off by the sheriff. Yeah, it doesn't matter now. I don't care.
It doesn't matter that they have been bothered by me talking to them. I don't really care. I'm not so bothered by them thinking I'm a person they are so wrong about. It doesn't matter in that I don't have to be so angry with these new and abnormal experiences I had.
It really doesn't matter that I was also diagnosed with Bipolar disease and had some form of anxiety-stress disorder because I was hearing crazy voices in my head. They never told me to do anything bad, just accused me of being gay. I was so sensitive back then, when I heard my head saying that, I was crying a lot so heavily. It doesn't matter now. I guess those voices shut off after I discovered puberty sucked and learned to embrace it.
It doesn't matter that I wasted my time all this time and that I could have done better. The past is what it is, and I'm lucky enough to be able to live in the present. It's time that I put forth a consistent amount of effort and focus, whenever I can get my mind off of entertaining myself from episodes or video games. I'm bored off my wit's end right now with setting for my goals, but I made a promise that's almost too difficult to keep.
God is good, all the time! I believe in Jesus with all my heart and even though I don't think he's here yet, I eagerly wait for the events to unfold today so that I can anticipate his glorious return.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
