Reasoning with myself is something I really need to do a lot more. I'm practically just letting myself get carried away with reading news about professional sports. I guess that's normal for a guy born and having grown up in America with parents who liked to argue in a language I didn't understand. It was so annoying for me!
I get carried away from getting mad, so I just want to give a fit. Instead of showing that like a little kid, I do the grown up version which is complaining! I don't complain like a normal adult. I do it in a manner that's very insulting to others. I don't admit to it, but yeah, I'm still trying to get away with it by being nice. I think from being short, I try to be passive aggressive by nature and want to do all of that petty talking behind people's backs like women are prone to do. However, from being a dude, I just want to go all macho and tell people off in their faces.
From the combination of those two abusive qualities of mine, it irritates the heck out of people and fires them up to start yelling and saying stuff that annoys me even more than they already are! I'm not a very direct kind of guy, so by holding myself back in writing, I think some people who were mad at me smelled blood and went in for what they thought was going to be an easy kill. It didn't work out for them because now I'm overly direct with those people. Also another factor to the former softness I had is that I stopped caring. However, from just being mad, I want to be their friend.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
