Okay I've been inactive for a good eight days. It felt like I haven't been blogging for a long time. I even forgot that I wrote something on here earlier in the month. Yet, what I feel that I posted is like an entertaining masterpiece especially for a journal. It feels so relaxing to read what I wrote after some time passed by.
The things in the past especially if they are emotionally driven by something strong like desire, craziness, or anger are a bit unsettling. I guess that's what makes us all human then. It's the fact that I'm aware and capable of accepting my personal feelings that I can come to a better understanding of life itself.
I guess it's entertaining to talk about my past with how I got in trouble from bothering everybody. I don't really want to talk about my psychological history with just about anyone now. It's a little uncomfortable for me to reveal that while going through puberty, I suffered from manic depression. I was hearing uncontrollable voices that sounded like actual invisible people who were invading my head as well. I could talk with them in my head too and no, I wouldn't vocalize it, I would just think my words and most of the time, I was thinking somewhere along the lines of "Shut up!" or "get out".
The scariest aspect of those voices were then they kept on telling me that I'm only into boys and not girls. I felt like that was turning my world upside down.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
