Chasing Focus

Everyday I drive home, I get the chance to tune in my radio to a Bible teaching station. It's fun to hear great sermons and even though I may never have gone out of my way to see how some of those pastor's faces look like, it's been surprising sometimes when I have because they look so old, but speak like they are still in their primes!

I have usually been focusing on my own selfish matters and just trying to contain my laughter from the stuff I message people I'm mad at. I care about being at peace with people and it drives me nuts when they opt to push me out of their personal bubble for any reason. This is where I've been so frustrated and accused or called some bad names by them. I was also afraid of them, which made me even more angry and go after launching a passive-aggressive pattern of annoying them with messages that were filled with my frustration and going for being nice. It scared a lot of them and I mean some of them were terrified!

The good thing though is that Oyuri admitted to being a crazy girl early on. However, she just kept on trying to cuss me out with her messages while adding the word "Psycho" in between which really got my blood boiling. It turns out she stopped over-reacting like that with me and I think I feel good with the turnout because I'm on top from having her blocked on Facebook and have been sending truthful messages that fill me up with laughter and will probably do the same for others who unintentionally read it. I wouldn't be surprised if Oyuri just ignores or deletes those messages now and wants to not take it too seriously like she used to. She must feel like a little bit of guilt for trying to mess up a "nice" guy- me. Yeah, I hope I can still be that way with her while saying bad stuff about her from being honest about my opinion. I have so much truthful stuff to say which I know is negative.

I really found my exit from just messaging Oyuri the whole truth and to the best of my knowledge. It's had a positive result of her not replying back to me and messaging me the word "Psycho" or additional cuss words. Honesty is what the Bible in the Book of Proverbs says, "A kiss on the lips." I'm figuratively in an immaculate manner making out with Oyuri by being blunt with her and telling her how much I think she sucks! Isn't that really ironic and how she's like making an effort to not be around me anymore? I could just walk around and if she saw me, she would maybe freak and run away from me. I don't really mind that actually, especially from someone like Oyuri.

Maybe I could walk into that bad church Hope of God in Los Angeles and be like "Haha, Lee left and her restraining order failed. Woo hoo!" someday.  I was imagining something more impactful like Lee trying to mimic a pastor and just dropping everything she does and leaving. I might just walk in and she keeps on talking. I will be like "See? She's so dumb from not running away or she was just a liar!" It's whatever; I'm pretty convinced Lee was being a nearly crazy and spiteful lady at the time from being completely not in the tune about living the mature Christian's ways of the Bible.